Dating Mr. Junk Bond

One of our old faves, Bankers Ball, is back at its old act. Today she is discussing the dating life of women who date bankers.

No dating life would be complete without the classic Bad Boy. Bad Boys appeal to women not only because of the cachet of danger and risk, but because the idea of being able to reform the Bad Boy is every woman’s fantasy. After all, women want to be “The One” to teach BB commitment and monogamy; of course, still keeping the naughtiness in the bedroom.
Now take a Bad Boy, put him in a Brioni suit and you have Mr. Junk Bond.

The Banker Dater: Are You Mr Junk Bond?

Comments (42)

  1. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    Only tools wear suits.

  2. Posted by blndebnker | June 4, 2008 at 4:33 PM

    Haha oh that is so great.

  3. Posted by Investorcluzo | June 4, 2008 at 4:36 PM

    let’s not get it twisted (blndebnker, that was for you), there are more than a few women who send the (mass) late night texts out too…u out tonight? a thursday night classic!

  4. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 4:37 PM

    Word out there is that blndebnker has a sweet big ass. Can anyone confirm ?

  5. Posted by Investorcluzo | June 4, 2008 at 4:42 PM

    @4:39 – what was the catalyst? we all know gasbag is a d-bag. has his diarrhea of the mouth gotten worse? someone call a medic!

  6. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 4:46 PM

    the catalyst was 4:39 being a crazy person with an axe to grind, who’s posted that comment in at least three different places on this site in the last ten minutes.

  7. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 4:53 PM

    @4:37 Can confirm on the big , wouldn’t call it ‘sweet’.

  8. Posted by legal eagle | June 4, 2008 at 4:55 PM

    I put my own list together a while ago regarding financial classifications for women. Here’s my take on the junk bond:
    The untamed and often uncontrollable vixen, commonly referred to as the mistress. She’s not looking for any long term investment, but she could offer a mind-blowing weekend in Maui, as long as she doesn’t pick up the tab. There is no middle ground with these types—they enjoy either the high flying adventure or nothing at all, so they come with a price. If their partner slips up in any way or ceases to perform, she will immediately walk, leaving a trail of broken hearts in their often destructive paths. The high yield debt is perfect for the young and immature—those who have not experienced the ups and downs of the dating world and simply want to reap the benefits of lust and adventure. They won’t stick around to raise your children, but they will give you a great escape from them.
    I have more were that came from–the CDO is my favorite . . .

  9. Posted by HAM05 | June 4, 2008 at 4:56 PM

    asses are like bonuses, the bigger the better

  10. Posted by HAM05 | June 4, 2008 at 4:57 PM

    however, they are also like spreads, the tighter the better
    (count it!)

  11. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 5:10 PM

    @legal eagle
    Out with it, man. Where’s your list? How ’bout the CDO one?

  12. Posted by legal eagle | June 4, 2008 at 5:16 PM

    Here’s the CDO:
    Upon first glance she’s the debutant donned in pearls. The perfect specimen of woman, whose high cheekbones and slender waist immediately bring to mind images of summering the Hamptons, sailing on the Cape, and professionally photographed images of a family-to-be (golden retriever included) lounging aside the dock, shoeless and dressed in seersucker. A perfect marriage candidate for any man desirous of merging his life with that of a well-bred woman whose pedigree includes a generous trust fund compounded by generations of wealth. But behind the ribbons and pearls, she is a soul-sucking black widow—the most frightening of all the types. She grew up on the wrong side of the tracks (probably in a trailer park) listening to “Fancy” while dreaming of seducing heads of states and CEOs. Though she hasn’t a penny to her name, she is able to lure the most talented of men with her well trained charm that effortlessly conceals her subprime roots. All should be wary of this type, though most will never know they have encountered a CDO until their bank accounts are empty, their house is in her name, and she is speeding off in the benz with the tennis pro.
    I’ll give you Asset based revolver for now as well:
    The ABR is the trickiest of all the breeds of women, often the most superficial, but generally the most desirable by those with great ambition, for she can help her partner reap great benefits. She is a social climber, socialista, and often the life of the party—constantly armed with Christian Louboutins stilettos, Balenciaga handbags, and perfectly sculpted slender bodies topped with wildly untamed hair. She will make an initial investment in various types of men, but will only stay with those who continually build upon their fortunes. Any faltering ambition will cause her to immediately walk away, taking with her not only her partner’s pride, but often a significant portion of his assets, as well as his social circle. She carries great penalties, but for the ambitious, she will give greater rewards proportionate to her partner’s increased net worth. Great marriage material for the superficial and ambitious men of the world, but be warned, if she files for divorce, her partner will face catastrophic consequences.

  13. Posted by legal eagle | June 4, 2008 at 5:19 PM

    I actually sent my list to Bess a while ago to see if DB wanted to post it. She said probably, but then I never heard back. Oh well.

  14. Posted by John Carney | June 4, 2008 at 5:31 PM

    Send it again. John@DealBreaker.com.

  15. Posted by blndebnker | June 4, 2008 at 5:33 PM

    @4:53 – If you could really confirm, you would know it was sweet.

  16. Posted by blndebnker | June 4, 2008 at 5:39 PM

    Peace out boys. Have a good night.

  17. Posted by Anal_yst | June 4, 2008 at 5:44 PM

    damnit, you tease!

  18. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 5:47 PM

    All I care about is if my little financerette can suck start a motorcycle.

  19. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 6:12 PM

    Big and sweet… blndie what u up2 2night?

  20. Posted by guest | June 4, 2008 at 7:41 PM

    Oh, this article describes me to a “T”. When did DB start hanging out in Delaware? The beach, perhaps?
    TOGFD

  21. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 7:40 AM

    @TOGFD — how can this describe you? Its about hetero-sexual adventures…

  22. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 8:29 AM

    Legal Eagle,
    This is great.
    Carney,
    Post his list!!!

  23. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 8:31 AM

    Blnde,
    Big is only sweet if you’re in a rap video or sliding down a pole.

  24. Posted by blndebnker | June 5, 2008 at 8:34 AM

    @8:31am – Skinny white boy?

  25. Posted by big r | June 5, 2008 at 9:04 AM

    legal eagle – nice reba reference

  26. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 9:30 AM

    Blnde,
    Thin, caucasian man. And let’s be real…it’s super now – but what does it look like in 5 years? Especially after a stretch in the banking industry.

  27. Posted by blndebnker | June 5, 2008 at 9:49 AM

    @9:30am – Well God willing, with continued work with a personal trainer and not eating like a piggy, hopefully still stellar. I’m young. I think I’ve got a good 10 years before I worry.

  28. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 10:09 AM

    @9:49
    God willing = no sense of responsibility
    Personal trainer = no discipline
    Hopefully = again no sense of control of her own physical shape
    10 years in banking? I’ll give you 10 weeks… Seen so many young female analysts pig out after their first 6 months on the job.

  29. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 10:10 AM

    Blnde,
    Well you seem to have the determination. Cheers and good luck.
    There is always surgery, which I don’t typically agree wtih – however if you work your *ss off (i know, the pun, stupid) to no avail…then you have earned the right to go under the knife.

  30. Posted by MGR | June 5, 2008 at 10:13 AM

    Blnde,
    Wouldn’t listen to 10:09 or 10:10, if you work 10 years in banking you’ll be able to get yourself some nice young mimbo who won’t care what your ass looks like.

  31. Posted by blndebnker | June 5, 2008 at 10:20 AM

    @10:09 – Good thing I’ve already been on the job for a few years and have managed just fine. I have to ask, why the hating? Are you bitter because no non-pig females in finance will touch you? Or do you just like to try and belittle people to make yourself feel better? Do tell.
    @10:10 – Thank you. The fear of 10:09′s analyst piggies keeps me motivated. Jury’s out on the knife thing.
    @MGR – Haha mimbo. That’s a fabulous idea.

  32. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 10:25 AM

    @10:09 – Stop the hate bro. And the proper term is ‘balloon’ not pig out.
    P.S. Blnde probably works in compliance.

  33. Posted by blndebnker | June 5, 2008 at 10:27 AM

    haha I haaaate compliance. They ruin my day, every day.

  34. Posted by FUNdamental | June 5, 2008 at 10:32 AM

    @ blnde – 10:09 probably has a blonde woman for a boss and is taking out his inferiority complex here.

  35. Posted by blndebnker | June 5, 2008 at 10:37 AM

    @FUN – Good call. Hey what ever happened to the “poor party” the other night? Someone needs to get that together for next week

  36. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 10:40 AM

    That’s why we shouldn’t give much credit to people posting as ‘guest’.

  37. Posted by FUNdamental | June 5, 2008 at 10:52 AM

    @1040 – this gentleman appreciates irony. Thank you.
    @blnde – sounds like you’re volunteering for that, I second your motion.

  38. Posted by blndebnker | June 5, 2008 at 10:55 AM

    I totally would but as illustrated by my Luna Park gaffe, I clearly don’t know as many places in the city as the others.
    And I would concur with you – well done 10:40.

  39. Posted by guest | June 5, 2008 at 11:13 AM

    Why should the ‘guest’ receive any less credit that those with usernames? There are degrees of anonymity now?
    The validity of the post should be based on the content, not the name that shows up in “posted by”

  40. Posted by guest | June 11, 2008 at 7:22 PM

    bitches who date guys because they are bankers are true bitches. bankers who date bitches who date bankers because they are bankers are morons. by the way, do you why it is that fixed income gyus end up up with the worst chicks? because they are the same nerds who got mega wedgies in high school (and college), but now they have an Amex and a Gucci pocket protector. the best part is they are still getting wedgies, but now by the market.

  41. Posted by gladIamnothim | July 25, 2008 at 4:18 PM

    It could be worse you could be this guy at Citi!!! This went out to everyone.
    I just wanted to let everyone know that my ex-boyfriend / friend
    with benefits since he paid me (Jonathan Morris) is sleeping with 3 current employees in
    his department (1 is actually a closeted situation, oops). He has a
    fetish for power and uses his position to sleep with his
    underlings. He invites them all to coffee after work. Which is his
    stunning formula and then well you get my drift. Check the emails
    he does. Jon is not the most ethical of men as he left me with a
    little going away present, but thankfully modern medicine can fix
    that up. Sorry to bother you all but I just thought you should know
    about him.
    Kisses
    xoxoxo
    (Your San Fran Hottie)

  42. Posted by gladIamnothim | July 25, 2008 at 4:19 PM

    It could be worse you could be this guy at Citi!!! This went out to everyone.
    I just wanted to let everyone know that my ex-boyfriend / friend
    with benefits since he paid me (Jonathan Morris) is sleeping with 3 current employees in
    his department (1 is actually a closeted situation, oops). He has a
    fetish for power and uses his position to sleep with his
    underlings. He invites them all to coffee after work. Which is his
    stunning formula and then well you get my drift. Check the emails
    he does. Jon is not the most ethical of men as he left me with a
    little going away present, but thankfully modern medicine can fix
    that up. Sorry to bother you all but I just thought you should know
    about him.
    Kisses
    xoxoxo
    (Your San Fran Hottie)

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