Dating Mr. Junk Bond

Posted by John Carney, Jun 04, 2008, 4:26pm

One of our old faves, Bankers Ball, is back at its old act. Today she is discussing the dating life of women who date bankers.


No dating life would be complete without the classic Bad Boy. Bad Boys appeal to women not only because of the cachet of danger and risk, but because the idea of being able to reform the Bad Boy is every woman's fantasy. After all, women want to be "The One" to teach BB commitment and monogamy; of course, still keeping the naughtiness in the bedroom.

Now take a Bad Boy, put him in a Brioni suit and you have Mr. Junk Bond.

The Banker Dater: Are You Mr Junk Bond?

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Posted in: Banking Culture

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 4:32PM

Only tools wear suits.

2

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 04, 2008 4:33PM

Haha oh that is so great.

3

Posted by Investorcluzo, Jun 04, 2008 4:36PM

let's not get it twisted (blndebnker, that was for you), there are more than a few women who send the (mass) late night texts out too...u out tonight? a thursday night classic!

4

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 4:37PM

Word out there is that blndebnker has a sweet big ass. Can anyone confirm ?

5

Posted by Investorcluzo, Jun 04, 2008 4:42PM

@4:39 - what was the catalyst? we all know gasbag is a d-bag. has his diarrhea of the mouth gotten worse? someone call a medic!

6

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 4:46PM

the catalyst was 4:39 being a crazy person with an axe to grind, who's posted that comment in at least three different places on this site in the last ten minutes.

7

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 4:53PM

@4:37 Can confirm on the big , wouldn't call it 'sweet'.

8

Posted by legal eagle, Jun 04, 2008 4:55PM

I put my own list together a while ago regarding financial classifications for women. Here's my take on the junk bond:

The untamed and often uncontrollable vixen, commonly referred to as the mistress. She’s not looking for any long term investment, but she could offer a mind-blowing weekend in Maui, as long as she doesn’t pick up the tab. There is no middle ground with these types—they enjoy either the high flying adventure or nothing at all, so they come with a price. If their partner slips up in any way or ceases to perform, she will immediately walk, leaving a trail of broken hearts in their often destructive paths. The high yield debt is perfect for the young and immature—those who have not experienced the ups and downs of the dating world and simply want to reap the benefits of lust and adventure. They won’t stick around to raise your children, but they will give you a great escape from them.

I have more were that came from--the CDO is my favorite . . .

9

Posted by HAM05, Jun 04, 2008 4:56PM

asses are like bonuses, the bigger the better

10

Posted by HAM05, Jun 04, 2008 4:57PM

however, they are also like spreads, the tighter the better

(count it!)

11

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 5:10PM

@legal eagle

Out with it, man. Where's your list? How 'bout the CDO one?

12

Posted by legal eagle, Jun 04, 2008 5:16PM

Here's the CDO:

Upon first glance she's the debutant donned in pearls. The perfect specimen of woman, whose high cheekbones and slender waist immediately bring to mind images of summering the Hamptons, sailing on the Cape, and professionally photographed images of a family-to-be (golden retriever included) lounging aside the dock, shoeless and dressed in seersucker. A perfect marriage candidate for any man desirous of merging his life with that of a well-bred woman whose pedigree includes a generous trust fund compounded by generations of wealth. But behind the ribbons and pearls, she is a soul-sucking black widow—the most frightening of all the types. She grew up on the wrong side of the tracks (probably in a trailer park) listening to "Fancy" while dreaming of seducing heads of states and CEOs. Though she hasn't a penny to her name, she is able to lure the most talented of men with her well trained charm that effortlessly conceals her subprime roots. All should be wary of this type, though most will never know they have encountered a CDO until their bank accounts are empty, their house is in her name, and she is speeding off in the benz with the tennis pro.

I'll give you Asset based revolver for now as well:

The ABR is the trickiest of all the breeds of women, often the most superficial, but generally the most desirable by those with great ambition, for she can help her partner reap great benefits. She is a social climber, socialista, and often the life of the party—constantly armed with Christian Louboutins stilettos, Balenciaga handbags, and perfectly sculpted slender bodies topped with wildly untamed hair. She will make an initial investment in various types of men, but will only stay with those who continually build upon their fortunes. Any faltering ambition will cause her to immediately walk away, taking with her not only her partner’s pride, but often a significant portion of his assets, as well as his social circle. She carries great penalties, but for the ambitious, she will give greater rewards proportionate to her partner’s increased net worth. Great marriage material for the superficial and ambitious men of the world, but be warned, if she files for divorce, her partner will face catastrophic consequences.

13

Posted by legal eagle, Jun 04, 2008 5:19PM

I actually sent my list to Bess a while ago to see if DB wanted to post it. She said probably, but then I never heard back. Oh well.

14

Posted by John Carney, Jun 04, 2008 5:31PM

Send it again. John@DealBreaker.com.

15

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 04, 2008 5:33PM

@4:53 - If you could really confirm, you would know it was sweet.

16

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 04, 2008 5:39PM

Peace out boys. Have a good night.

17

Posted by Anal_yst, Jun 04, 2008 5:44PM

damnit, you tease!

18

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 5:47PM

All I care about is if my little financerette can suck start a motorcycle.

19

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 6:12PM

Big and sweet... blndie what u up2 2night?

20

Posted by guest, Jun 04, 2008 7:41PM

Oh, this article describes me to a "T". When did DB start hanging out in Delaware? The beach, perhaps?

TOGFD

21

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 7:40AM

@TOGFD -- how can this describe you? Its about hetero-sexual adventures...

22

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 8:29AM

Legal Eagle,

This is great.

Carney,

Post his list!!!

23

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 8:31AM

Blnde,

Big is only sweet if you're in a rap video or sliding down a pole.

24

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 05, 2008 8:34AM

@8:31am - Skinny white boy?

25

Posted by big r, Jun 05, 2008 9:04AM

legal eagle - nice reba reference

26

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 9:30AM

Blnde,

Thin, caucasian man. And let's be real...it's super now - but what does it look like in 5 years? Especially after a stretch in the banking industry.

27

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 05, 2008 9:49AM

@9:30am - Well God willing, with continued work with a personal trainer and not eating like a piggy, hopefully still stellar. I'm young. I think I've got a good 10 years before I worry.

28

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 10:09AM

@9:49
God willing = no sense of responsibility

Personal trainer = no discipline

Hopefully = again no sense of control of her own physical shape

10 years in banking? I'll give you 10 weeks... Seen so many young female analysts pig out after their first 6 months on the job.

29

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 10:10AM

Blnde,

Well you seem to have the determination. Cheers and good luck.

There is always surgery, which I don't typically agree wtih - however if you work your *ss off (i know, the pun, stupid) to no avail...then you have earned the right to go under the knife.

30

Posted by MGR, Jun 05, 2008 10:13AM

Blnde,

Wouldn't listen to 10:09 or 10:10, if you work 10 years in banking you'll be able to get yourself some nice young mimbo who won't care what your ass looks like.

31

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 05, 2008 10:20AM

@10:09 - Good thing I've already been on the job for a few years and have managed just fine. I have to ask, why the hating? Are you bitter because no non-pig females in finance will touch you? Or do you just like to try and belittle people to make yourself feel better? Do tell.

@10:10 - Thank you. The fear of 10:09's analyst piggies keeps me motivated. Jury's out on the knife thing.

@MGR - Haha mimbo. That's a fabulous idea.

32

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 10:25AM

@10:09 - Stop the hate bro. And the proper term is 'balloon' not pig out.

P.S. Blnde probably works in compliance.

33

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 05, 2008 10:27AM

haha I haaaate compliance. They ruin my day, every day.

34

Posted by FUNdamental, Jun 05, 2008 10:32AM

@ blnde - 10:09 probably has a blonde woman for a boss and is taking out his inferiority complex here.

35

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 05, 2008 10:37AM

@FUN - Good call. Hey what ever happened to the "poor party" the other night? Someone needs to get that together for next week

36

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 10:40AM

That's why we shouldn't give much credit to people posting as 'guest'.

37

Posted by FUNdamental, Jun 05, 2008 10:52AM

@1040 - this gentleman appreciates irony. Thank you.

@blnde - sounds like you're volunteering for that, I second your motion.

38

Posted by blndebnker, Jun 05, 2008 10:55AM

I totally would but as illustrated by my Luna Park gaffe, I clearly don't know as many places in the city as the others.

And I would concur with you - well done 10:40.

39

Posted by guest, Jun 05, 2008 11:13AM

Why should the 'guest' receive any less credit that those with usernames? There are degrees of anonymity now?

The validity of the post should be based on the content, not the name that shows up in "posted by"

40

Posted by guest, Jun 11, 2008 7:22PM

bitches who date guys because they are bankers are true bitches. bankers who date bitches who date bankers because they are bankers are morons. by the way, do you why it is that fixed income gyus end up up with the worst chicks? because they are the same nerds who got mega wedgies in high school (and college), but now they have an Amex and a Gucci pocket protector. the best part is they are still getting wedgies, but now by the market.

41

Posted by gladIamnothim, Jul 25, 2008 4:18PM

It could be worse you could be this guy at Citi!!! This went out to everyone.


I just wanted to let everyone know that my ex-boyfriend / friend
with benefits since he paid me (Jonathan Morris) is sleeping with 3 current employees in
his department (1 is actually a closeted situation, oops). He has a
fetish for power and uses his position to sleep with his
underlings. He invites them all to coffee after work. Which is his
stunning formula and then well you get my drift. Check the emails
he does. Jon is not the most ethical of men as he left me with a
little going away present, but thankfully modern medicine can fix
that up. Sorry to bother you all but I just thought you should know
about him.

Kisses
xoxoxo
(Your San Fran Hottie)

42

Posted by gladIamnothim, Jul 25, 2008 4:19PM

It could be worse you could be this guy at Citi!!! This went out to everyone.


I just wanted to let everyone know that my ex-boyfriend / friend
with benefits since he paid me (Jonathan Morris) is sleeping with 3 current employees in
his department (1 is actually a closeted situation, oops). He has a
fetish for power and uses his position to sleep with his
underlings. He invites them all to coffee after work. Which is his
stunning formula and then well you get my drift. Check the emails
he does. Jon is not the most ethical of men as he left me with a
little going away present, but thankfully modern medicine can fix
that up. Sorry to bother you all but I just thought you should know
about him.

Kisses
xoxoxo
(Your San Fran Hottie)

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