Wachovia was rumored to have begun laying off employees in its Charlotte investment bank yesterday afternoon, and apparently the cannings have spilled over into today. What's taking so long? The only explanation we can come up with is that, having heard about Goldman and its ante-upping approach to firings, the higher-ups at WB realize they needed to get creative if they're ever going to crack the top five in Layoff League Tables. According to someone familiar with the proceedings, the head of IB sent out an email this morning saying that "if you are there after 4:30, you are okay." And if you're asked to go investigate a suspicious noise, or lose your virginity during the film? Not okay! Oh, and severance is supposedly 4-5 months salary plus full bonus.
Earlier: Layoffs Watch '08: Wachovia
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:53PM
i think the real question is what ddoes a "full bonus" amount to?
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:53PM
i think the real question is what ddoes a "full bonus" amount to?
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:53PM
i think the real question is what ddoes a "full bonus" amount to?
Posted by MF , Jun 19, 2008 3:54PM
Bonus = one loaf of bread and a cowbell.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:59PM
4-5 months plus full bonus??? There goes their dividend..
Posted by FUNdamental , Jun 19, 2008 4:07PM
@mf - but guys, I'm tellin you, you're gonna want that cowbell!
Posted by Judson_Clark , Jun 19, 2008 4:08PM
That is utter bullsh*t. I was laid off by Wachovia back in December for the AGE acquisition, and all we got was 3 months salary!
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:10PM
so WB's severance is better than GS? sad, sad.
Posted by CNote , Jun 19, 2008 4:10PM
@3:53: The real question is what's with the Parkinson's twitch on your mouse-click finger?
Their bonus is going to be a foreclosed house in Cali. That way they can lay off tens of thousands...
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:14PM
This sucks for the competent people that kept their jobs now they have to split the bonus with the dead wood.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:18PM
yes dumbass thats how layoffs work.
Posted by MF , Jun 19, 2008 4:28PM
guest @4:14 There are no competent people at Wachovia... Cashier jobs are not that hard to fill.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:36PM
@4:14 -
Odds are that someone truly competent is the one generating cash and sharing his bonus check with you. Or, are you one of those masters of the universe who print money?
Try not being so much of an ass. It might just be that you were one of the survivors because they see you as such a human potted plant that you would be dumb enough to work all year just to get fucked out of a 12 month bonus.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:38PM
4-5 months is extremely generous compared with the rest of Wall Street layoffs.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:53PM
Is it really accurate to call Wachovia an investment bank? Isn't it more of a regional savings and loan w/ a small group of rednecks that dabbles in stealing business from the real I-Banks?
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:55PM
guest @4:14
With VERY few exceptions, on the Street you are a commodity, not a talent. Don't kid yourself thinking you survived because you are more competent or talented then the ones who didn't survive.
On second thought, go ahead and kid yourself. Make sure you remind everyone on the desk how damned competent you are and how fucking unfair it is for someone of your immense greatness to be asked to share his bonus check with a lesser life form such as one of the incompetents who got laid off.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:55PM
It's a bloody murda!
- Merger & Acquisition (& Divesture) Investment Banking Analyst
wow, the last word in my signature line removes all meaning from 15 that come before it (*shoots self*)
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 4:56PM
It's a bloody murda!
- Merger & Acquisitions (& Divesture) Investment Banking Analyst
wow, the last word in my signature line removes all meaning from 15 that come before it (*shoots self*)
Posted by rgolden , Jun 19, 2008 5:05PM
I think the salary & bonus should come directly from managements checking account, they are the ones that put the Co. in the dich. They should get it out with their money not ours.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:12PM
Too long, didn't read.
Posted by jerrydill , Jun 19, 2008 5:14PM
Wow! This package isn't bad. I bet the bonus isn't great, though
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:19PM
Thats right the world of finance doesnt exist outside of NYC--well except for Chicago, London, Hong Kong. etc. etc.
For those of you wallowing in your own crapulence, I believe Wachovia is a top 5 IB (in terms of underwritting at least).
I love the smell of fresh hubris in the morning.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:19PM
So I'm planning on quitting later this summer...is there a good way of getting "laid off" instead, so I get some severance? Besides not performing, because I've done well so far and need good letters from my bosses for grad school...
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:27PM
@5:19 sure find an MD that is a Tarheels fan and start wearing Duke articles of clothing around him and tell him (coach) Roy Willaims was way over-rated.
If a Duke fan change the garb to 'Hell specific and replace Williams with Coach K.
Posted by CNote , Jun 19, 2008 5:41PM
@5:19 - just ASK. If they're looking for headcount, they'd rather do it to someone who wants to go than keep you around, cut staff to a nut-hair's width, and then have you quit. Tell them you're considering leaving, and you'll take a package.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 19, 2008 5:46PM
@ 5:19
Make a video, definitely make a video. Exact content is almost unimportant, so long as its posted on the youtubes
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:46PM
@ 5:19
Wachovia 2007
10th in bonds $76bn
5th in loans 109 bn
10th HY 5.8 bn
Did not make list on global equity
12th US equity 2.6 bn
Did not make list global M&A
19th US M&A 65 bn
Source: Bloomberg
Not top 5
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:46PM
In other, much more important news:
http://gawker.com/tag/prescott-hahn/?i=5017916&t=the-fake-hedgie-whos-conning-new-york-fashionistas
btw did anyone else notice beyond the ornithology discussion that our man on the lam 'Keyser Soze'Israel had a gulp, aol email adress on his card? (I'd hesitate to even date a girl with an aol email let alone give money to such a fund manager)
-CC
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 5:51PM
guessing DB did, which is why the headline of their post was "Here's A Tip-Off You Maybe Shouldn't Give This Fund Your Money: AOL Address"
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/06/_bayou_fund_sam_israel.php
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 19, 2008 5:51PM
@ 5:46
I sent bess that link earlier, kid is a f'in n00b, jesus you know you suck at life when you can't even FAKE being a hedge fund manager, damn!
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 6:00PM
@5:51a Good point...thats what I get for leaving the office at 3pm on a Friday to beat the LIE traffic and missing that headline. (on the plus side I was able to mix up a nice batch of Sangria for the next day).
-CC
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 6:49PM
some of you guys are idiots.. realize that these are real people losing thier jobs.. these are not numbers that you are laughing abt.. also ppl who have just lose their jobs probably dont appreciate ur smart ass comments either..
Posted by CNote , Jun 19, 2008 7:13PM
@6:49 Hey there Debbie Downer.
Wow. You must be tons-o-fun at a party.
The people who have just lost their jobs just got checks in an amount that it'll take us half a year to get accrue. I'm not going to cry them a river.
Posted by Cincinnatus C , Jun 19, 2008 7:27PM
@5:19 (that wants to get laid off)- start getting all self-righteous about how your read in Barbarians in the Gate about Winston-Salem and Wachovia having started life as the beneficiaries of an industry/economy driven by slave labor.
Posted by Cincinnatus C , Jun 19, 2008 7:28PM
@6:49/7:13pm - seriously, we need something to feel better about ourselves. why do you think we come here?
Posted by Old Sneep , Jun 19, 2008 8:06PM
As Captain Ellerby said in The Departed, "World needs plenty of bartenders!"
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 8:25PM
"Well, the world needs ditchdiggers too"..... How about a Fresca ?
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 10:41PM
Let's be fair folks. Play nice with the kids in the sandbox. Even if they are in the Carolinas.
WB # 1 in many structured credit areas like CDOs (what used to be) and leveraged stuff. Look it up on your fancy Northern computers.
Cluzo, the koolaid is green and blue baby.
Yours Truly,
BB...errr…really tanned Caucasian Banker
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 10:42PM
Erin C, we can settle in the South. Me, you, have a couple kids running around.
Call me baby.
Yours Truly,
BB...errr…really tanned Caucasian Banker
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:25AM
There's no clearer way for a commenter to give themselves away as an employee than to refer to their company with an internal acronym...
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 2:48AM
WB = ticker, idiot
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 2:48AM
WB = ticker, idiot
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 9:10AM
WB was NEVER #1 CDO bookrunner my god what is this board coming to? WB moved up to #5 in 2007 after not even top 10 in 2006 ... hey great timing there Wachovia bankers
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:05AM
WB has been #1 in CRE CDOs. I'm too indifferent to look up the league tables though.
25% of the investment bank was fired, but only analysts got a "full" bonus. Everyone else is obviously on the big boy banker cycle.
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:11AM
http://www.abalert.com/Public/MarketPlace/Ranking/index.cfm
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:15AM
oh sorry wrong one.
Wachovia was indeed #1 in CRE CDOs, which means nothing since this is classic commercial bank business and a pretty niche business. Was WB also #1 in issuance of WB shares, as well as deposit market share in North Carolina. means nothing.
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:33AM
Wachovia is pure crap. Half of their Charlotte Investment Bank is UNC grads, I mean what do you expect.
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:35AM
http://www.cmalert.com/Public/MarketPlace/Ranking/index.cfm
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 10:36AM
haha right it definitely requires an ivy league degree to package a cdo.
Posted by Cincinnatus C , Jun 20, 2008 1:29PM
seriously - anyone who depicts a UNC grad as too uneducated or otherwise inadequate to do ANYTHING finance-related is a fucking moron.
- ohio state grad
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 9:09PM
defending a bank's competence by saying it did well in the CDO space is pretty much saying that the bank is really good at losing money.
Posted by guest , Sep 10, 2008 1:11AM
If you are looking for a job, go to www.PinkSlipMixers.com