Earlier this morning, a tipster pointed us in the direction of David Einhorn’s Wikipedia entry. It read, “David Einhorn is a Porn Star and President of Greenlight Capital.” Initially, we deemed it the work of Erin Callan. But then we realized–this was a compliment. Obviously, it came from one of his fans, not enemies. Unfortunately, the groupie/merry prankster was pretty unimaginative. S/he should’ve drawn out the joke to say that Einhorn performed his duties under various noms de porn, such as: David BigHorn, David Einschlong, and David YankMeinHorn. And that got us thinking. Why should YankMeinHorn be the only one given porn cred? And since there are so many deserving hedge funds out there, and we have a yuks quotient/day to fulfill, herewith, we present the Top Pornified Hedge Fund Names.
10. ESL –> DSL
9. Sparx Group –> SparXXX Group
8. Eden Rock –> Eatin’ Cock
7. Och-Ziff –> Cock-Spliff
6. Soros –> SoreAss
5. Brevan Howard –> Brevan Loves Howard
4. Lone Pine –> Long Pine
3. Ospraie –> CockSpraie
2. Circle T –> Circle Jerk (it’s funny because it’s true)
1. SAC Capital
Honorary Already-Porned-Out Funds
- Man Group
- Viking
- Maverick
- Citadel
- Horseman Global
Haha!
Im partial to “Red Light Capital” This gives a whole new meaning to the word “Partners”
Anyone remember PowerGen Italia? That was a real name, too!
…and speaking of porn & hedge funds:
http://dealbreaker.com/community/2008/06/ping-jiang-starts-tranny-hedge.php
Buttpost Group, GAG Partners, Blackbone, the list goes on
Dont forget Boone Pickens “DP Capital”
These names come from brokers who have been put “in the box” (pardon the pun) by trading companies. Remember that the difference between a trader and a broker is that the broker shouts, “Fuck You!!” after he hangs up the phone.
Speaking of which, whatever happened to correspondence with Billy Ash? No more e-cards? He doesn’t call? He doesn’t write? Fucking pimps and their inconsistent notions of gratitude…
goldman sachs –> blow man sacks
wachovia –> whack-all-ovah-ya
Asspirate Capital.
no one mentioned Whitebox? It’s the only kind I like.
These aren’t condom brands??
- Man Group
- Viking
- Maverick
- Citadel
- Horseman Global
It ain’t a hedge fund, but its so obvious its shocking no one else mentioned it:
Blackrock –> Black Cock
God I love it when she talks dirty.
hedge funds — untrimmed-bush funds
Lay Men Brothers
Bears Stearn Ass Management
Merrill’s Itch
Morgan’s Panty
JayPees on Morgan’s Ace
Cuntillon
Eton Carp
FrontBoink
Tudor–>Cooter
Egerton Capital–>E-gerkin Capital
this is really stupid…I’m usually a big fan of your work Bess but this is not quite up there
thanks for the 2-cents, twatwaffle
this post is a tribute to Keith Hahn
Och-Ziff–>Cock-Spliff–>Cock-Stiff
Fortress–>Fartass
Och-Ziff–>Cock-Spliff–>Cock-Stiff–>Ouch-It-Split
just sayin…
-4:21
This (the comment at 4:21) is really stupid…I’m usually a big fan of your work 4:21 but this is not quite up there
just sayin…
-5:05
Marathon Asset Mgmt–> Mara’s Thong Ass Mgmt
Kynikos Associates, L.P.–> Kynkiness Ass.
Fir Tree Partners–> Furry V Partners
Too Jackie, didn’t Treehorn.
Kelly Madison and Katie Morgan team up on Ron Jeremy (KKR)
[...] The problem this time around, according to ML? Was that “most of the dicks were stupid.” Stewart’s two cents: “The entire financial market was a bunch of George Costanazas, telling lies they believed.” (And banging their cleaning ladies on the desk, do not forget that.) Also, note the cat-calling for Einhorny from the audience. Nice to see others finally getting on board. [...]
[...] The problem this time around, according to ML? Was that “most of the dicks were stupid.” Stewart’s two cents: “The entire financial market was a bunch of George Costanazas, telling lies they believed.” (And banging their cleaning ladies on the desk, do not forget that.) Also, note the cat-calling for Einhorny from the audience. Nice to see others finally getting on board. [...]
Many thanks to the tip Allaedin, will try it on my blog )