I need to come clean with all of you about something. You know what it is. Seth Tobias. More specifically, my avoidance of the most recent Seth Tobias news. CNBC reported this morning that two sides, clearly delineated by bros (Tobias’s brothers) v. hos (Tobias’s widow Filomena), had reached an out-of-court settlement over the deceased Circle T founder’s estate, avoiding a “tabloid trial.” Therein lies the problem, and the source of the emotional hole I’ve been in for the last eight hours. Avoid a tabloid trial? Excuse me, but what the fuck?
This was supposed to be the tabloid trial of the century! We were supposed to see a thong-wearing Tiger show the jury how he danced for Tobias at Cupids. We were supposed to see a thong-wearing Tobias dancing for investors in his office (video footage, of course, unless the trial that never will be was going to prove even sicker than we could’ve possibly dreamed). We were supposed to see a thong-wearing Haines, filling air-time between testimony, dancing for Erin Burnett and the Squawk on the Street viewers at large. As the days and weeks dragged on, Andrew Ross Sorkin was going to spice things up with a Food Network-esque appearance on Street Signs, preparing the Ambien-laced pasta alla vodka that Tobias’s wife Filomena made for him the night he died. No doubt the biggest heartbreak of it all was the cutting down of star ascendant John Carney, who was not only slated to stand in for Tobias during court room reenactments, but had also just landed the plum role of ST for Lifetime original movie, For The Love Of Cock And Coke: The Seth Tobias Story. No third act = project shelved = Carney’s lifelong dream in shambles. And in its place we get: nothing, and not only that, we don’t even get any sideshow antics from gay pimp Billy Ash, who has quite obviously been silenced (you know he would’ve emailed us about this shit in a heartbeat if he were allowed).
Tobias Estate Case Wraps Up with Settlement [CNBC]
So sad! So True! Those poor unfortunate souls!
If there is a silver cloud here though, Bess, it is this post. The post-mortem, so-to-speak, that I never wished to see, tear…
I didn’t think the Tobias family had much to go on after the medical examiner’s and prosecutor’s reports.
You bring up an important notion, Bess, that I think we all should reflect on.
Bros before hos. Bros. Before. Hos.
analyst, is that a quote from Little Mermaid? Super creepy if so …
yeah man thats a little … off.
I’m more disturbed that the two of you are that familiar with the dialogue of the little mermaid
Um, maybe we have daughters?
Let’s stay focused here people…The woman titled the movie For the Love of Cock and Coke: The Seth Tobias Story and all you can talk about is the fucking Little Mermaid? Bess you must feel like Van Gogh pre cutting his ear off…misunderstood and underappreciated.
Maybe, but I know two things: (1) it doesn’t follow from having a daughter that you should be familiar with every line of the little mermaid; that’s a personal issue. (2) investment bankers don’t “have” children in the conventional sense; they simply lay eggs which are then fertilized by ben bernanke and the baby jesus
last segue, but 1)TV, as great as it is, is not an “autositter” 2) what makes you think I’m a banker?
first, bess named it that like 4 months ago so we have all had plenty of time to appreciate it. second, did you ever consider maybe we are just trying to suppress our grief at the sad and unsensational conclusion of this story?
huggggzzzz
what is a kaddish?
@9:31 ever hear of wikipedia ?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaddish
I am sorry, but I don’t see the reason why one should aggrandize a person or persons who do not have any sense of reality, most likely had a death-wish through drugs and other means of “Life Enhancement” or who are patently psychotic. People like this should be left in the dustbin of history and just forgotten. To want to report on fools like this just doesn’t make sense to me.
Yeah uh I have a daughter and she loves the Little Mermaid but I don’t know the dialogue. There’s something wrong with you people.
You know she has nothing covering her vagina when her tail transforms into legs? I think about that whenever I see her in her little clamshell bikini top.
is that true? please provide pictures