Yesterday we discussed Fashion Meets Finance, the dating event of the year, based on the idea that “women in fashion need men who can facilitate their pre-30 marriage/retirement plan, and men in finance need women who will allow them to leverage their career in their dating equity.” We’d planned on walking by Taj, where the affair was being held last night, and throwing a grenade into the place, but then decided it would be much more fun to send one of YOU to the dark side to report back. Unfortunately, very few people wanted to actually be seen at this thing, but after much pleading, commenter Investor Cluzo agreed to take one for the team. Here are his findings.
As one of my colleagues pointed out in yesterday’s comments, who the hell can make it to these events at 5:30? WTF, I’m in – but this is for you, the loyal DB readers, and not of my own volition. Here we go: Gucci loafers, check; Rolex, check (yes, I went there); Tiffany cufflinks, check; matching belt buckle (with initials); check. Let’s do this!
Let me start with my trip to the venue: saw a “youngish” woman nursing a child in Washington Square Park (c’mon, that kid wasn’t hungry before you left the house?). On the other hand, passing the Shake Shack, no less than 5 girls gave me a big smile and the once over– call it the “Obama Effect.”
Now for what you came for, the big show. What’s this? Velvet ropes, a line– this is a bad joke. These hucksters cannot be in finance. If they are, I can think of a few VP’s who are pissed or they (a) worked at bear or (b) were recently placed in commercial banking by the HR folks at JPM. Wait, is that peach fuzz? Summer interns! Shouldn’t they be putting in a little face time? Don’t they realize this market sux?! Bess got me on the list about ½ hour ago, I’m not waiting in line with a bunch of chumps. That’s right, see you inside suckas!
As I walk in I hear the girls get told it’s a $5 donation; for the dude with a tie, “it’s a $10 donation, but feel free to give what you’d like.” As advertised, there was Rolling Rock aplenty. Every summer intern in the place was drinking the free stuff. From the look of the bar, tips weren’t overly generous (just a lot of singles). I’d ordered a Belvedere and tonic – I’m going to need something to get me through this evening. The bartender quickly says she’ll “have to charge” me for the Belvedere. and her point? I thought this was fashion meets FINANCE, not back office ops – chop, chop, I got this. Oops, $14! Is she kidding with that? it’s in a plastic cup and she’s charging me for “premium” liquor like this place is Marquee (now Bess really owes me).
This whole thing is strikingly similar to a high school dance, dudes on one side of the floor, girls on the other. That said, it’s a pretty diverse crowd – Whites, Blacks, Asians, Indians, a veritable melting pot; and it’s still awkward. Perhaps they need to drink more.
Let’s meet some people…what better place to meet people than the free wine line (yes, I’m double fisting). Me: “So what do you do?” Girl: “I’m in finance”. How did she get in? The rules clearly stated, no girls in finance! Next, please.
Me: “So what brings you here?” Her: “My girlfriends came to the last one and they told me to come for the happy hour.” Me: “Right and you wanted to meet some finance guys?” Her: “No, most of those guys are d-bags”. Whoa missy! clearly she is too smart for her own good. I think I need another drink.
Here we go three girls standing in front of the DJ booth. Me: “Let me guess, finance?” Them: “No, we’re in fashion [giggles].”
Turns out, theses girls were the cool kids. They all worked at “International Intimates.” That’s right, jackpot! Someone posted yesterday that half of the fashion types work as waitresses; well guess what, two of the three worked at Slate (next door to Taj), but now they are all pulling down enough to forego the second job. Good for them.
I spy a dude on the dance floor with two chicks. What the hell? The rules also stated no guys in fashion. I have to hand it to him, he got his groove on all night and the ladies loved him.
Bess had sent me with instructions to get quotes from some “guys.” Here we are, the “VIP” section. Three guys sitting on the couch by themselves…what a shame. Suits look like last year’s model from SYMS.
Me: “So what do you guys do?” Them: “I’m at Citi (strike one); I’m at JPM, but I’m going to work for the World Bank (foul ball, strike two); I’m a trader (strike three, I’m out of here).” At this rate, it doesn’t look like fashion will ever meet “finance.” I’ll let you guess which one had the $$ collar working for him.
Oh, wait just a second. What’s this? Is that Donald Trump IV? The blonde mop says it is.
Me: “So what do you guys do?” The Donald IV: “Global macro at Kensington.” Her: “Accounting [giggles].” No fashion here, but I’ll give her a pass for getting friendly fast (according to colleagues, they just met).
Looks like there been enough Rolling Rock to get the crowd a little more “integrated.” I believe I’ve seen enough, time to move on. The “International Intimates” girls want to go to Slate. I’m out.
For those thinking about attending the next event, I will warn you that it was heavy on the dude quotient and light on the “hot fashion” types. That said, I was told by one girl who attended the last party that there were “too many” girls (I believe that’s a relative term).
–Investor Cluzo, FMF Correspondent
Earlier: Meet The Junk Bond Of Your Dreams Tonight
cluz-ster–truly excellent report….were you able to tap any of that chick trio?
or did he have to settle for a shroom stack at shake shack?
Agreed Cluzo. Bravo and good work.
Wow IC — Not even a mention of my coming to rescue you and be your “foil/wingman”? Sir ouch.
I’m still waiting to see the Post’s recount of the event though. Let’s just say Bill Ackman and David Einhorn made appearances and had some great one liners. Whether they saw through my facade (doubtful), didn’t think anyone in the post would get my jokes (50/50), or they themselves had no clue what it meant to be “long CDS on interns” or arguing that the “fashion girls must have shopped their ratings around town because there’s no way any of them were investment grade” I’ll never know.
Also, best exchange from the International Intimates girl:
Girl: “Victoria’s Secret outsources 65% of their underwear designs, and do 55% internally.”
Me: “Do you mean 65/35 or 55/45?”
Girl: “Oh, yea, 65/45″
Me: “That’s still not an option”
Girl: “Why not?”
Me: “Math”
Girl: Embarrased and clearly still not comprehending why she’s wrong “oh yea, haha, totally”
Me: “So which is it then?”
Girl: “What’s what?”
Me: “Nevermind. I need a drink.”
C’est la vie.
Is it just me or Does Trump IV kinda look like a young Dick Van Patten?
I had to go check this party out for myself. It was 22 year guys in suits who didn’t loosen their ties or take off their jackets. Who are they trying to impress? The women were average looking at best who prob worked back office at federated. The guys going obviously expected a FMM “Finance Meets Models” and instead got “Finance meets communications majors.” Left after 7 minutes.
That last photo is precious- i wonder if he got to 2nd base.
Nice reporting, Cluzo.
Wait a sec, OneTwo went as well?
“why not”
“math”
awesome
Actually after taking another look at the picture and seeing that exchange…I would have hands down taken a Shack Stack and Root Beer Float over those wilderbeasts.
cluzo – how many people were there?
OneTwo
Did you at least give her your card for her trouble?
i think i saw that why not, math interchange on overheardinnewyork.com as well
onetwo:
You won the party. Admittedly, that’s no way to get laid, but anybody that sharp can probably manage it even after that. I salute you.
M
Good job IC.
please don’t say those were the best looking women there. either way you threw yourself on the grenade.
IC, did you take those shots with a curve?
@onetwo- priceless dialogue, but did you really expect anything less?
@IC- well done, however every girl in those pictures were gross!!! I have to believe theer was one girl above a 5.5 there.
This seems exactly like those UJA events I have boycotted. Extremely uptight and umcomfortable, until everyone gets drunk and just make fools of theselves. No particularly good looking girls whatsoever with nothing to contribute in life. That is until you get drunk enough to make poor decisions. Just Horrendous.
I have to say this event was pretty much what I thought… a bunch of ‘fashion’ bimbos dirty dancing at 7pm (let’s save that for at least 10pm people) and some weirdo dudes. The idea was ok in theory, being that finance is maled dominated and fashion female. But add cheap liquor, blaring Miley Cyrus from the DJ who must have only ever done kid parties before this gig based on his selections, and near darkness and you’ve got yourself a big old mess. I did not stay long.
hahaha 1-2 classic
clutz, all i see is neckfat and moonfaces. were there no high-cheekboned fashion bitches? wasnt that the point??
It should be obvious that girls who WORK in fashion are not the same as girls who WEAR the fashion for a living. Makeup artists, stylists, designers, all those sorts of people are ex-theatre and art history majors who never work out, eat poorly and consider themselves “funny girls” because their personality is all they’ve got going for them. Think Tina Fey, not Giselle.
HAHAHAHAH
Office is looking at me for laughing, cluzo/1-2 just made my hangover less severe OUCH nevermind haha
Man, those girls at the event sure were pig ugly
The open collared North Dakota guy WAS there!
@ic – well done jumping on the grenade and getting the glory of the post…
@onetwo – but charging late and stealing the thunder, M-V-P.
The best part is, that girl went home and still had no idea what you were talking about.
Got waaaaay past 2nd base. The entire Columbia dorm ran the train on her.
@ blnd: Yes, i went. The you could smell desperation in Cluzzo’s text. I couldn’t leave a man down. Plus, bess asked if I would go. I stayed about an hour, mostly hanging out in the rafters mocking people with the II girls (who actually didn’t suck).
@big r: I try. Thanks.
@Girl: Jesus, that was a business transaction.
@12:05: I had no knowledge of any overheardinnyc.com quote. It was entirely original, IC can vouch (but he’s golfing, that d-bag).
@StMarc: You’d be amazed what you can get away with sometimes. Thanks.
@Fun: All I do is bring the rain. And she had no idea. There was only so long I could drag it out though before losing it myself.
“trader, strike 3″
My ass.
-chad
Great rundown of the event with pics
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/06/fashion-meets-finance.php
onetwo – brilliant commentary, takes me back to when I used to hang with the fashion crowd in LA. I have stories like yours up the rafters, and let me tell you 80% of models make these Ugly Betties look like Rhodes scholars.
Hmm. all the girls in these Radar pictures are better looking than the ones posted above. cluzo are you just keeping all the pictures of the 6s and 7s for yourself?
back office people pay their bills, asshole.
that’s why they’re in the back office: because they’re honest and they get the freaking job done, so everyone else can pose and parade and act like the Big Shit.
Get a clue, Bozo.
excellent reporting cluz. and pics too. fine stuff.
great SYMS line, good job picking that out with the dark lighting in the rooom.
@2:20 Not only they pay their bills, but they pay my bills, get me coffee, make photocopies and confirm my appointments at the local massage parlor.
why didnt they fix up the redeye in those radar pics? amateurs
2.20 what are you even doing on this website?
@2.45–you’re really an asshole, treating ops people poorly.
Bess/Carney -
Check where the IP of this guy resolves to and alert security ASAP, they’re about to have a back office employee go postal any second!
OMG… I hooked up with that donald trump lookalike last night also… terrible kisser
WTF
Only in new york can a guy with feathered hair and a blatant twinkie inhalation problem make out with 2 girls in one night.
Bess, you should have taken a grenade to this party. For serious.
ha no way!
2 girls one cup, bfd?
for the record:
I did throw up a bat signal last night and onetwo answered. I was in dire straights and our man did yeoman’s work jumping on one grenade after another. however, he did leave before all the work was done. because there is no party like an afterparty!
if I did hook up, I surely wouldn’t put it on the web for all to see – as for the “hot chick(s)”, I think the camera might be playing tricks on you or you’re still shaking off last night’s drinks.
have a good weekend people.
dude in the hat was pure gold.
it’s going to be pretty funny if the post prints those pics of “david einhorn and ackerman”. “so what do you do?” “what else, I’m a hedge fund manager.”
Someone please explain to me how Sykes was not the guest of honor at this thing?
was in a rush, have good weekend should have been the last comment. beer, golf and posting don’t mix.
Tough life, Cluzo, how dooo you do it?
@GinNTonic – yes, those pics are from the bberry curve.
@anal_yst – I thought you knew; I don’t lose money, I print it! ha, ha…
wannabe CFA’s – good luck with the test (or should I say, I hope you did well today).
go big brown!!!
haha cluzo obvi, how could i forget
Nice call on Big Brown, clearly not a value manager while top-ticking an injured horse running against rested comp…3-10 was horrific.