Bear Stearns former hedge fund managers Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin were both arrested on criminal charges this morning for their pivotal roles in the whole telling investors the subprime funds were a-okay when in reality...well, you know. One would think being in charge of the two ridiculously-named and damn near impossible say three times fast entities--High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Fund and High Grade Structured Credit Strategies Enhanced Leverage Fund-- would be punishment enough but apparently, not so much.
Here's Ralph being escorted to federal court in Brooklyn:
[via Bloomberg]
And here's Matthew, patiently waiting his turn for the same:
[via Bloomberg]
Meanwhile, in another part of town:
It's a Bear Stearns going away party! For those (presumably) not going away to prison! Thrown by the biggest Bear Stearns party boy of them all! (Out of the shot because he's consulting his lawyers about how to avoid a Cioffi/Tannin-esque fate or out of the shot because it's hard to simultaneously pose for pictures and order 100 McGriddles when you can't feel your legs? YOU TELL US.)
Former Bear Stearns Fund Managers Arrested by FBI [Bloomberg]
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 11:44AM
Any chance of getting their business cards on EBay?
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 11:51AM
As I have said before, IB is good for $, not pussy
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 11:52AM
Ha, I remember looking at that album on facebook a couple weeks back and thinking - wonder how long until this hits Dealbreaker.
Solid decision making, facebook poster.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 11:53AM
Tanin will comeout, w/o tie. Hanging risk
Posted by blndebnker , Jun 19, 2008 11:58AM
Love the picture. Sorry I missed the party.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Jun 19, 2008 11:59AM
This is all great and wonderful, but the true crime is that young Asian man holding up the nectar of antisemites - Coors Lite.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:00PM
If I recall a few weeks ago there was an enjoyable article by one Ms. Levin concerning the debt instruments represented by girlfriends, 2nd wives, mistresses, et. al
Maybe the same thing can work for this crew and other ignoble wallstreeters.(yes I know that is redundant). *Note: pressumption that they are indicted and/or spend some time in the hooskow.
I'll start off for these two supposed miscreants: Cross Currency Swap--with the currencies being cigs, and prison hooch. Tight bid/ask spread (for now).
-C
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:03PM
hahahahahhahahaha, everyone is that picture looks like a monstrous tool
Posted by mrpink , Jun 19, 2008 12:13PM
THEY HAVE ARRESTED MY SHEIK! THE KING OF THE MBS AND THE CDO!
MR. PINK DEMANDS THAT THE INFIDEL US GOVERNMENT RELEASES CIOFFI IMMEDIATELY (let the other douchebag rot)...
I will protest in front of Brooklyn Court until my demands are met (or I get hungry for a Shake Shack burger and/or have to go report for my new job, in which case... Sorry Ralph buddy... $$ is $$...
-mrp
Posted by FUNdamental , Jun 19, 2008 12:14PM
I'm confused, I don't see any JAEGERBOMBS in that picture.
@blnde - the guy in the orange shirt is sorry he missed the party too...
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:15PM
So how much do you think the old BSAM pitchbooks could go for on EBAY?
WAIT! Before you wager a guess -- take into account that they are branded with this (now classic) tagline:
"Risk Managed. Value Added."
That is not a joke, I swear. Used to be on the BSAM website too.
-- XOXO, Former BSAM-ite departed for greener pastures of own free in 05)
Posted by blndebnker , Jun 19, 2008 12:15PM
@FUN - Is it me or is his head directly in front of some dudes crotch and suspiciously emerging from behind the banner?
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:18PM
Is this a buy signal? The SPX was at a 5-year bottom when Fastow of the last Ponzi scheme was arrested...
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:23PM
As a former Bear employee my only hope is that they drop the soap in the prison shower.
Posted by FUNdamental , Jun 19, 2008 12:26PM
@blnde - (not pictured: his hands...). HANDS CHECK!! And double fisting guy may be showing the O face to the bear crowd (and facebook, and dealbreaker...)
So yes I think there is a 98% chance of some shenanigans under the banner.
Posted by blndebnker , Jun 19, 2008 12:30PM
@FUN - Agreed. Total debauchery, in the ickiest sense imaginable.
@12:23pm - Totally with you. They'll get theirs eventually.
Posted by NotNasser , Jun 19, 2008 12:38PM
The nectar of antisemites?
That one rather froze my circuits.
Posted by bittergreen , Jun 19, 2008 12:44PM
My vote?
Outside in the alley, packing a bowl.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:47PM
To The Grifters Formerly Known as Baby Bears,
It could be worse. You could be Timothy Sykes.
-Bruce W.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 12:47PM
Fastow had nothing to do with a ponzi scheme what are you talking about
Posted by EricM , Jun 19, 2008 12:50PM
There's definitely something going on between the guy directly above the 'A' and the Newman-looking dude on the right.
Posted by blndebnker , Jun 19, 2008 12:50PM
@Not - Froze your circuits?
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 19, 2008 12:58PM
Did Cioffi play F. Murray Abraham's stunt double in Star Trek Insurrection?
http://www.csie.nctu.edu.tw/~movies/index/1998/StarTrekInsurrection/Abraham.jpg
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 1:17PM
i for one find this arrest and perp walk very disturbing ...
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 1:21PM
Ralph is a political prisoner, plain and simple.
Free Ralph!
Posted by mrpink , Jun 19, 2008 1:31PM
YES! GUEST @ 1:21!!!!
Thank You!!!!
Free the Great Doctor of ABS and CDO Ralph Cioffi!
-mrp
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 19, 2008 1:34PM
Er now that I've given away my trekiness (oops), really Cioffi just looks like F. Murray Abraham in general
http://www.nndb.com/people/123/000024051/fma.jpg
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 2:06PM
Cioffi looks like a man who tells you to keep your money in his fund while he takes $2MM of his own out of it.
Oh, wait. He is.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 2:07PM
don't see where the sec has jurisdiction in a privately placed hedge fund investment. but wdik.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 2:13PM
@12:47
you can't talk sense to mob dancing on a grave.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:16PM
(Out of the shot because he's consulting his lawyers about how to avoid a Cioffi/Tannin-esque fate or out of the shot because it's hard to simultaneously pose for pictures and order 100 McGriddles when you can't feel your legs? YOU TELL US.)
Hahahaha --- I just can't help laugh-out-loud picturing his big yellow-stained toothy grin with a McGriddle in hand.
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:22PM
2:07 - The SEC has jurisdiction because the activies of the fund involved interstate commerce (always easy to findi in securities cases) and hedge funds are still subject to anti-fruad provisions of securities laws ('34 act, advisers act) despite their exemptions from most registration and regulatory requirements. either way, the sec is not the agency bringing the charges (DOJ brings criminal actions, SEC brings civil actions)
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:27PM
@2:13 i see you point
Posted by guest , Jun 19, 2008 3:39PM
Perp video
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/06/19/vo.bear.stearns.perp.walk.cnn
Posted by Cincinnatus C , Jun 19, 2008 7:48PM
the guy showing his o face could also be seen as crying.
Posted by Cincinnatus C , Jun 19, 2008 7:48PM
the guy showing his o face could also be seen as crying.
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 12:47AM
@Blondie- ickiest? really? of all possible adjectives you go with that? i heart you still, but damn are you green.
Posted by guest , Jun 20, 2008 1:57AM
That photo could be a rendering of The Last Supper if it wasn't missing a gay Jewish carpentar.