Citi CEO Vikram Pandit sent out a memo congratulating the troops on completing the second quarter last night; not successfully, per se, just in general. I'm paraphrasing but something like "It's June 30 and we're still here," which you have to admit is an accomplishment worth highlighting. He then went on note that while big C has "the right Strategy, Structure, and Talent," rather conveniently, "none of that matters." The only thing that matters, Count Vikula wrote, "is our Culture-- our heritage, our people," and preserving the legacy of Citi now, so that when this thing goes down (and see me about placing bets later), it'll be gone but not forgotten. To that end, Vik would like you to take a few hours or weeks to write down your favorite memories of Citi. Do you think fondly of the gazillions in writedowns C's taken in the last couple days? Or would you like to get more personal, and perhaps discuss the 40 lashings you received after getting caught napping at the desk, post new motto? No story is too meaningless. And while sharing it probably won't make Citi "the best company in the world," as Count Vikula jokes later in the memo, or even profitable, it will be a big waste of your time. And that's what this is all about, isn't it?
From: vikrampandit@citi.comSent: Sunday, June 29, 2008 9:09 PM
To: All Citi Colleagues
Subject: Our Culture
As we approach the close of the second quarter I want to thank all of you for the remarkable efforts you've made helping our clients navigate our difficult markets. You should be very proud of how well you are competing to win client trust and business. Our business success record clearly shows this and, of course, these achievements only add to Citi's rich legacy of accomplishment -- a legacy that inspires us and challenges us to accomplish even more.
As I see it, we are all privileged to work for Citi. For 200 years, Citi has been the backbone of world commerce. Generations of clients have turned to us to help them succeed. As a result, we have an iconic brand recognized around the globe. Underneath all the financial challenges we face in these economic conditions, this is one of the world's greatest organizations with resources unique to our time. We have unparalleled businesses, talent, resources and brand. Today, you and I are the stewards of that brand. It is our responsibility not only to preserve and protect it, but to build on it. As part of the greatest turnaround story of our age, we have the opportunity to transform Citi into
something more than just the best financial institution in the world. We can make Citi the best company in the world, bar none. I believe this strongly, and I know from listening to many of you, that you believe it too.You may have heard me say that to transform Citi and to excel we'll need to have the right Strategy, Structure, and Talent. We have these. Now it's time to address our fourth and most important element -- our Culture. Some say culture is not just the most important part; it is the only part that matters.
In the coming weeks I'm going to be discussing our culture with some of Citi's senior leaders. But I also want to hear from you. I'd like you to think about what aspects of Citi and our culture make you most proud -- our heritage, our people, the ways in which we help our clients succeed -- and then I want you to tell me your thoughts. Together we'll add our mark to Citi's storied history.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:17AM
Virkram never sleeps
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:20AM
The lack of sleep explains the delusional email
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:25AM
Bar None or Barn One?
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:30AM
Surely the independent non-exec directors on the Board of C can use this delusional email by Kung Fu Pandit as cause for his dismissal.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:33AM
I want you to be among the first to know that I still have nothing worthwile or substantive to say.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:43AM
Vikram Pandit, the Baghdad Bob of Wall Street. Short C NOW!
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 10:44AM
"Privileged to work for Citi". That doesn't sound good for the old bonus pool. Next comes pizza for the trading floor, some old Citi stress balls and then the firings will commence.
Posted by bank_teller , Jun 30, 2008 10:56AM
"if you're received this email, you missed the most recent firings and *may* be able to keep your job for one more quarter. also, have a great monday!"
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 30, 2008 10:58AM
@ 10:44
I have it on good authority the stress balls were already passed out, no word on the pizza...yet
Posted by lift all the offers , Jun 30, 2008 11:01AM
Hey, what happened to that NYMEX trader that was caught sleeping and got his picture posted on DB?
Is he still a steward of the Citi brand?
Posted by BamBam , Jun 30, 2008 11:05AM
I wonder how much money McKinsey has taken from Citi shareholders to put this garbage into Pandit's mouth.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 11:48AM
Thanks for coming to work, please look at your coworkers carefully, your seat, your desk, the janitor, everybody who makes this group so succesfull. Probably the next week you will never see them again since your pass will be blocked and you no longer required to surf the web during working hours as many of you used to do.
There are some places available in Mumbai and Madras and even in Pakistan and we will be happy to reallocate you.
You will love India and their no so pretty women (I accept), but we will receive you with open arms and even the
curry seller on the street will speak to you in English (well they believe it is english but try to follow the conversation, do not be mean)
Take care my friends, remember that CITI never sleeps.
Sincerely,
Vikram Pandit
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 11:49AM
This reminds me of a discussion between CIOs I saw on cnbc the other week. Basically they took turns saying, "We took a look at how our systems were set up, and decided what would be best for our company, would be to really transform our systems to value our customer," and, "by doing this, we were able to further the companies long-term goals." WTF does that even mean, what did you do? The business world is plagued with generalities, and feel-good bullshit talk. Vikram has stepped into this territory, obviously, talking about Citigroup as if their culture stands out from other banks like San Fran stands out from Moscow.
Now if you want to rally the troops, keep talking about how big of a turnaround this would be if they pull it off. That's something anyone would be glad to say they took part of. But to paint up a fantasy of unique culture looks to the worker like desperation. End rant.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 11:52AM
11:48 excellent ideas! bravo.
Posted by Clown Capital , Jun 30, 2008 11:55AM
lift all the offers @ 11:01am
Vikram has one answer to all of CITI's ubiquitous problems. Fire someone. Sub-prime got you down? Let's slash our residential and commercial investment units. Hedge Funds make you nervous? Well f*$k Old Lane Capital. Shut that b&*ch down too. Vikram's plan is to be the first full service one man bank in history. Apparently he's taken the ever popular "In the end, there can be only one" phrase from the Highlander TV series a bit too far...
Posted by diablo , Jun 30, 2008 12:03PM
This is a good example of corp speak for a company in deep trouble and with no clue about how to get out of it. All that's left is the "brand" which will be sold to the highest bidder.
In the meantime, the beatings will continue until morale improves.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 12:11PM
@11:05
Bam Bam,
Vikram didn't pay McKinsey anything to write this garbage. Instead, Vik outsourced this letter-writing to his brother in India. It's a fraction of the cost there anyways.
Wonder how much of this stuff does the Saudi Prince buy?
BTW no mention of his wrapped up Old Lane hedge-fund.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 12:11PM
No way Vik came up with "Strategy, Structure, and Talent" by himself.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 30, 2008 12:22PM
11:49
Reminds me of that IBM commercial with business jargon bingo (aka consultant speak).
At least McKinsey gets paid to 'value add', while Herr Rubin gets paid to, er, uh, um...?
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 12:31PM
@12:11
That's not saying much what Vik came up with. He also came up with Old Lane. Seen their glorious low-single-digit returns lately? Oh wait, the whole dam thing wrapped up.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jun 30, 2008 12:39PM
Makes me glad I don't work for a big company any more. I wasted too much of my life learning acronyms and reading about new strategies that were quickly obsoleted (one of the words they used that made me cringe)
Posted by BottomFellOut , Jun 30, 2008 12:49PM
Every one in the glorous kingdom of the Citi will spend at least 3 days a month as a bank teller.
Vik
Posted by BottomFellOut , Jun 30, 2008 12:49PM
Every one in the glorious kingdom of the Citi will spend at least 3 days a month as a bank teller.
Vik
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 12:56PM
@12:49
The next thing you know is that they'll replace the bank teller with an ATM machine.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 1:19PM
Anal_yst you know what Rubin gets paid for. He already did it when he bailed citigroup out of Brazil. Dude is just collecting his royalty checks.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 1:20PM
I don't remember Sandy or Chuck ever asking what I thought about the company. That alone is a big hopeful change. Go Vik!
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 30, 2008 1:25PM
@ 12:56
WTF do they need tellers for, anyway? The only things you actually "need" to go to a teller for are "large deposits/withdrawals" and on the off chance you need one, a cashier's check, both of which could easily be automated if they'd finally adopt biometric authentication (among other "advanced" technologies...)
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 1:25PM
Haha the joke for Citi is they dont even have enough bank branches to pull that plan off.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 2:03PM
Is his e-mail address really vikrampandit@citi.com
Anybody try e-mailing him of late. Let Bess try it out and let us know.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 3:33PM
By the by, just got wind that they're having an offsite tomorrow. That's like
"Please get drunk and forget that we shafted your bonuses."
Posted by BlackSwan06 , Jun 30, 2008 3:46PM
Dilbert mission statement generator anyone?
Or is this Vik's attempt at CitiNewSpeak...
I thought that "Culture" was the answer when you couldn't find any other plausible explanation...
"resources unique to our time?" what in the... Snoop Vik-E-Vik, is this the best shizzle you/McK could think up?
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 3:57PM
Mr Count Vikula Curry needs to stop being a blood sucking freak.
His ego is so big that he wants the Gandhi statue in Union Square Park to be removed and to put one of himself, waht a moron, since he beleives he is the biggest fart of curry India.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 4:39PM
Short, short short
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 5:02PM
Your personal attacks are not warranted or acceptable. If you really have a comment to make about his strategy, make it. As to Old Lane, what is the core competency of a private hedge fund, its human capital. It should have been little surprise of the funds demise when all of its key executives were stripped to save Citi when it could have perhaps gone the way of Bear. You need to applaude his ability to right the ship and now, like the behemoth GE, the question will be can he stear this ship in the direction to return to profitablity and will the market give him any time to do this. Prince had several long years to attempt this, with little progress. Vikram has had less than a year, during a very turbulent market. I for one support his efforts, though perhaps he might think twice about issuing such cheerleading letters (at least make it a webcast where your sincerity can show through). The rest of you naysayers need to assess what EXACTLY you would recommend that he do - likely NOTHING, because none of you have any depth to deal with this crisis. Vikram, continue your path and the market will hopefully assess your performance fairly.
Employee & Investor
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 5:20PM
What a disaster C is. I spent almost ten years there. Thank God I stopped taking stock years before leaving. Ineptitude abounds. Management cant be trusted. A BIG bloated tank of a company with abundent layers of suits who do nothing.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 5:26PM
Is the best short or what!
I love Vikram Pandit ...
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 5:43PM
"To that end, Vik would like you to take a few hours or weeks to write down your favorite memories of Citi."
I look fondly back to the time when my Citi options still had some residual value.
(Wipes tear from eye) Those were the days, my friends. Those were the days.
Ex-Citi Guy
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2008 8:26PM
Employee & Investor,
Many of us have expressed and continue to express ideas about how we would tighten up Citi's wasteful bureaucracy in our individual corners of the empire. Whether anybody's listening is an open question.
Vikram's email was a bit funny, but he's not responsible for this mess. I cannot be as charitable regarding certain other very senior managers with big macro credentials who might have called the markets better, who remain with us, and who did not forgo their bonuses.
Employee
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2008 12:14AM
Employee & Investor,
Clearly you're one of the many who still has his job left. Ask any of the 1000s who have lost theirs. Things will always look rosier to you when you're still drawing a fat pay-check.
The fact that you are an investor is shocking. Don't know how big your holdings are, but problem is with people like YOU. If the Prince ALwaleed for instance would know, as the largest share holder, what is up with Citi, this mess wouldn't be at the same stage today. You investors / shareholders have to hold management responsible.
I agree he's not responsible for the mess, but there's no point sending these pump up mails. Maybe they should just hire strippers to boost morale.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2008 5:15PM
Vik just didn't like the world saying he was a robot and couldn't rally the troops. This is his rallying cry. How 'bout it? You ready to jump off a cliff for old Vik? Yeah. Me neither.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2008 5:16PM
Vik just didn't like the world saying he was a robot and couldn't rally the troops. This is his rallying cry. How 'bout it? You ready to jump off a cliff for old Vik? Yeah. Me neither.
Posted by guest , Jul 01, 2008 10:12PM
Vik thinks the company is 200 years old. He's only off by 190 years. Guess he was writing inspirational memos when all those hearings took place at the NY Fed to create this Frankenbank a decade ago.
Vik, here's some of my thoughts on what makes Citi unique:
Only bank to pay a former CEO (Sandy Weill) $1 Billion in compensation only to discover $42 Billion in losses when he leaves;
Only bank crazy enough (or stupid or both) to name an offshore debt hideout Buconera (Italian for "Black Hole) in the Parmalat affair. How's that playing out in NJ State Court right now?
Only bank crazy enough (or stupid or both) to name a manipulative trade in the Euro bond market, "Dr. Evil;"
Only bank crazy enough (or stupid or both) to let Sandy Weill's birthday party planner take over as CEO, then write down billions, then fire the party planner and hire a hedge fund manager.
Posted by guest , Jul 02, 2008 1:21PM
This focus on culture is pretty sad, expecially since it's exactly what Prince did during his rule. Does any Citi employee (former or present) still remember the Seven Cs? I think one was maybe "Client" and then there was "Celebration!", (which there was little of during his time). 5 others...? While he spent time traveling the seven seas hyping the 7 "C"s, the real Citi (read "Salomon") culture ultimately prevailed -- loose credit standards and make a quick buck at the client expense if need be -- and we know how that all ended. Vikram needs to take a serious look at who is still managing the banking operation or these too will be empty slogans
Posted by guest , Sep 15, 2008 1:36PM
Agreed, Citi has the most inept management on the few left on Wall St.
Posted by guest , Nov 22, 2008 12:07AM
Delusional - this one word says it all. He is attempting to get employees to drink the kool-aid, but it's not working.