How To Save The Airline Industry

Posted by Bess Levin, Jun 23, 2008, 3:25pm

Since nobody here seems to have a clue, let's if Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary has any ideas:

Turns he does! And it's a pretty good one, to boot. During a German press conference to discuss the possibility of a new transatlantic airline, O'Leary told reporters that under his management there'll be blowjobs in economy and business class, for-pay and for free, respectively.

Obviously this a product others airlines would be wise to emulate. At the very least we'd see a reversal in the rapid declines in business class travel, a reduction due in large part to the financial services slow down. In-flight fellatio? People will find a way to get deals done.

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Comments

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 3:34PM

Awesome! I'm going to move to Australia or where ever it is that funny talking guy is from....

And what's up with the weird sounding chick?

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 3:34PM

Awesome! I'm going to move to Australia or where ever it is that funny talking guy is from....

And what's up with the weird sounding chick?

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 3:42PM

He is from Ireland, and he is the best thing to happen to the airline industry and investment conferences.

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 3:48PM

niiice

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 4:09PM

He copied Southwest. However, he dropped the "friendly" attitude towards customers. He does the opposite. Pay extra for your luggage, "You visiting or moving, assholes?" Wheelchaired people pay extra. Best profit customers, "People going to funerals are not price sensitive." Pilots get no time off for a death in the family. "You want to get to your destination, you'l wait till I have a fucking plane to spare." Bottom line, customers will put up with abuse, if the airfare is $1 to $15. First come, first served. Or your screwed. And there are no customers rights and fuck all governments and airport authorities and other lazy political slobs.

Posted by Anal_yst, Jun 23, 2008 4:12PM

@ 4:09

And flying any domestic (U.S.) airline is any better? HA!

At least he's honest, whereas the u.s. carriers tell you how focused they are on service and your needs, all the while assf&cking you the whole way at every chance they can.

The only expectation you can have these days for a nice flight is a private one. Its a shame, but its the truth.

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 4:34PM

"He copied Southwest."

I don't think so. I flew SW once and never received a BJ. If I had I wouldn't be 1K with United.

Posted by guest, Jun 23, 2008 4:54PM

I see he was demonstrating the blowjob part with his pen.

Posted by guest, Jun 24, 2008 7:15AM

@4:09: As far as I'm concerned he can include a free kick in the beanbag with every flight, whether it comes with a discount or not. If I don't want to get kicked in the beanbag then I don't have to fly Ryanair.

There is only one customer right, and that is the right to keep your wallet closed.

Posted by guest, Jun 26, 2008 7:19AM

RyanAir even put out a press release on this:

http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/news.php?yr=08&month=jun&story=gen-en-200608

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Ryanair’s ‘Beds and Blowjobs’ video clip Climaxes to No. 1 position
Most Viewed Video on You Tube



In response to huge media interest, Ryanair, Europe’s largest low fares airline, today (20 June) climbed high out of bed to reveal all for less than the price of their lowest €1 fare and came clean over the background to the ‘Bed and Blowjobs’ video clip which is now the No. 1 viewed video clip on You Tube.

The video clip features a 90 second excerpt from a Ryanair media conference that took place in Düsseldorf on Tuesday, 17th June, celebrating Ryanair’s 3M passenger at Düsseldorf (Weeze) airport.

A journalist’s query about the potential for a transatlantic service was answered, if such a service were to go ahead, there would be a very low cost economy class and the proposed high quality business class service, had the working title of ‘Beds and Blowjobs’. It appeared that no-one, not even the translator, at the media conference knew of a German translation for ‘Blowjobs’.

Speaking today, Ryanair’s Daniel de Carvalho said:

“We are delighted to see our Düsseldorf (Weeze) media conference being the most viewed video on You Tube’s Travel section. Ryanair confirmed at the press conference on 17th June that the proposed transatlantic service will have a very low cost economy cabin with seats priced from €10 one-way, and a very high quality business class, providing better service than BA or Virgin, and the working title for the business class service is ‘Beds and Blowjobs’.

Since then it is rumoured that the ‘Beds and Blowjobs’ debate comes up at most management meetings and everyone is cock sure, it would grow from strength to strength.

We are surprised that the translator did not find any German word for ‘Blowjobs’. Ryanair’s Linguistic Department will offer one free return flight to a destination of your choice, for travel from October to December (including taxes and charges) to the first Ryanair passenger translating ‘Blowjobs’ into German language”.

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