Alan Schwartz Declining Offer From JPMorgan Cayne?

The Post reports that former Bear CEO Alan Schwartz may be having second thoughts about taking a job at Bearpont Morgan Chase. One source "familiar with the matter" says it's the humanist in Schwartz that's causing him to reconsider, claiming that the fact that more than half of Bear's employees are without jobs (though not without pay) is "not sitting well with him."

Another countered that JPMorgan is the one balking at the hire, which would be almost as bad as inviting Jimmy Cayne along for the ride, even in the capacity as (Wal-Mart-esque) greeter. Both parties declined to comment and this is obviously a very tough decision for Schwartz. And he may very well join the handful of former BSC-ers who actually got jobs over on Park. But should he show some solidarity and say no thanks, he's going to have some time on his hands. If that turns out to be the case, what should Schwartz do next?


a. Join Jimmy Cayne for an intense summer at bridge camp, reassess professional plans in August

b. Intern with Rich Marin Movie Review Associates (duties include buying tix on Fandango, smuggling candy purchased from Duane Reade past usher) for no pay

c. Brush up on magic skills for September audition as Ace Greenberg's assistant

d. Beg Ken Griffin to hire just one more ex-Bear at Citadel

e. Partner with Nick Maounis to trade war stories about blowing up in a week and lying about it

f. Tap contacts in Hollywood for acting gigs so as to add authenticity to use of Tatum O'Neal defense ('I'm researching a part [as a junkie.]') when busted for crack.

g. Other

Schwartz May Bag JPMorgan [NYP]
Tatum In Coke Arrest [NYP]

Comments

1

Posted by bittergreen , Jun 02, 2008 12:23PM

Teach a course at the Learning Annex about how to make money in the Structured Finance markets.

2

Posted by ab , Jun 02, 2008 12:35PM

crane inspector

3

Posted by miami , Jun 02, 2008 12:35PM

recurring Guest Star on the Pick-Up Artist 2 on VH1.

Alan attempts to teach poor guys how to impress women with his world-class money losing skillz. Hilarity ensues.

4

Posted by guest , Jun 02, 2008 12:41PM

Host a talk show on CNBC.

5

Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 02, 2008 1:25PM

Hm, so we have the;

1. Trump strategy

2. RICO/clean government strategy

3. Mystery strategy

4. Michael Eisner strategy.

I'd like to add,

5. Ron Blarney strategy (searching for happiness at the bottom of the bottle)

6

Posted by big r , Jun 02, 2008 1:27PM

@ anal_yst - for #5, if its MHL he wont need to get to the bottom. pure bliss comes the second you twist that baby open.

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