Wachovia was rumored to have begun laying off employees in its Charlotte investment bank yesterday afternoon, and apparently the cannings have spilled over into today. What’s taking so long? The only explanation we can come up with is that, having heard about Goldman and its ante-upping approach to firings, the higher-ups at WB realize they needed to get creative if they’re ever going to crack the top five in Layoff League Tables. According to someone familiar with the proceedings, the head of IB sent out an email this morning saying that “if you are there after 4:30, you are okay.” And if you’re asked to go investigate a suspicious noise, or lose your virginity during the film? Not okay! Oh, and severance is supposedly 4-5 months salary plus full bonus.
Earlier: Layoffs Watch ’08: Wachovia
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i think the real question is what ddoes a “full bonus” amount to?
i think the real question is what ddoes a “full bonus” amount to?
i think the real question is what ddoes a “full bonus” amount to?
Bonus = one loaf of bread and a cowbell.
4-5 months plus full bonus??? There goes their dividend..
@mf – but guys, I’m tellin you, you’re gonna want that cowbell!
That is utter bullsh*t. I was laid off by Wachovia back in December for the AGE acquisition, and all we got was 3 months salary!
so WB’s severance is better than GS? sad, sad.
@3:53: The real question is what’s with the Parkinson’s twitch on your mouse-click finger?
Their bonus is going to be a foreclosed house in Cali. That way they can lay off tens of thousands…
This sucks for the competent people that kept their jobs now they have to split the bonus with the dead wood.
yes dumbass thats how layoffs work.
guest @4:14 There are no competent people at Wachovia… Cashier jobs are not that hard to fill.
@4:14 -
Odds are that someone truly competent is the one generating cash and sharing his bonus check with you. Or, are you one of those masters of the universe who print money?
Try not being so much of an ass. It might just be that you were one of the survivors because they see you as such a human potted plant that you would be dumb enough to work all year just to get fucked out of a 12 month bonus.
4-5 months is extremely generous compared with the rest of Wall Street layoffs.
Is it really accurate to call Wachovia an investment bank? Isn’t it more of a regional savings and loan w/ a small group of rednecks that dabbles in stealing business from the real I-Banks?
guest @4:14
With VERY few exceptions, on the Street you are a commodity, not a talent. Don’t kid yourself thinking you survived because you are more competent or talented then the ones who didn’t survive.
On second thought, go ahead and kid yourself. Make sure you remind everyone on the desk how damned competent you are and how fucking unfair it is for someone of your immense greatness to be asked to share his bonus check with a lesser life form such as one of the incompetents who got laid off.
It’s a bloody murda!
- Merger & Acquisition (& Divesture) Investment Banking Analyst
wow, the last word in my signature line removes all meaning from 15 that come before it (*shoots self*)
It’s a bloody murda!
- Merger & Acquisitions (& Divesture) Investment Banking Analyst
wow, the last word in my signature line removes all meaning from 15 that come before it (*shoots self*)
I think the salary & bonus should come directly from managements checking account, they are the ones that put the Co. in the dich. They should get it out with their money not ours.
Too long, didn’t read.
Wow! This package isn’t bad. I bet the bonus isn’t great, though
Thats right the world of finance doesnt exist outside of NYC–well except for Chicago, London, Hong Kong. etc. etc.
For those of you wallowing in your own crapulence, I believe Wachovia is a top 5 IB (in terms of underwritting at least).
I love the smell of fresh hubris in the morning.
So I’m planning on quitting later this summer…is there a good way of getting “laid off” instead, so I get some severance? Besides not performing, because I’ve done well so far and need good letters from my bosses for grad school…
@5:19 sure find an MD that is a Tarheels fan and start wearing Duke articles of clothing around him and tell him (coach) Roy Willaims was way over-rated.
If a Duke fan change the garb to ‘Hell specific and replace Williams with Coach K.
@5:19 – just ASK. If they’re looking for headcount, they’d rather do it to someone who wants to go than keep you around, cut staff to a nut-hair’s width, and then have you quit. Tell them you’re considering leaving, and you’ll take a package.
@ 5:19
Make a video, definitely make a video. Exact content is almost unimportant, so long as its posted on the youtubes
@ 5:19
Wachovia 2007
10th in bonds $76bn
5th in loans 109 bn
10th HY 5.8 bn
Did not make list on global equity
12th US equity 2.6 bn
Did not make list global M&A
19th US M&A 65 bn
Source: Bloomberg
Not top 5
In other, much more important news:
http://gawker.com/tag/prescott-hahn/?i=5017916&t=the-fake-hedgie-whos-conning-new-york-fashionistas
btw did anyone else notice beyond the ornithology discussion that our man on the lam ‘Keyser Soze’Israel had a gulp, aol email adress on his card? (I’d hesitate to even date a girl with an aol email let alone give money to such a fund manager)
-CC
guessing DB did, which is why the headline of their post was “Here’s A Tip-Off You Maybe Shouldn’t Give This Fund Your Money: AOL Address”
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/06/_bayou_fund_sam_israel.php
@ 5:46
I sent bess that link earlier, kid is a f’in n00b, jesus you know you suck at life when you can’t even FAKE being a hedge fund manager, damn!
@5:51a Good point…thats what I get for leaving the office at 3pm on a Friday to beat the LIE traffic and missing that headline. (on the plus side I was able to mix up a nice batch of Sangria for the next day).
-CC
some of you guys are idiots.. realize that these are real people losing thier jobs.. these are not numbers that you are laughing abt.. also ppl who have just lose their jobs probably dont appreciate ur smart ass comments either..
@6:49 Hey there Debbie Downer.
Wow. You must be tons-o-fun at a party.
The people who have just lost their jobs just got checks in an amount that it’ll take us half a year to get accrue. I’m not going to cry them a river.
@5:19 (that wants to get laid off)- start getting all self-righteous about how your read in Barbarians in the Gate about Winston-Salem and Wachovia having started life as the beneficiaries of an industry/economy driven by slave labor.
@6:49/7:13pm – seriously, we need something to feel better about ourselves. why do you think we come here?
As Captain Ellerby said in The Departed, “World needs plenty of bartenders!”
“Well, the world needs ditchdiggers too”….. How about a Fresca ?
Let’s be fair folks. Play nice with the kids in the sandbox. Even if they are in the Carolinas.
WB # 1 in many structured credit areas like CDOs (what used to be) and leveraged stuff. Look it up on your fancy Northern computers.
Cluzo, the koolaid is green and blue baby.
Yours Truly,
BB…errr…really tanned Caucasian Banker
Erin C, we can settle in the South. Me, you, have a couple kids running around.
Call me baby.
Yours Truly,
BB…errr…really tanned Caucasian Banker
There’s no clearer way for a commenter to give themselves away as an employee than to refer to their company with an internal acronym…
WB = ticker, idiot
WB = ticker, idiot
WB was NEVER #1 CDO bookrunner my god what is this board coming to? WB moved up to #5 in 2007 after not even top 10 in 2006 … hey great timing there Wachovia bankers
WB has been #1 in CRE CDOs. I’m too indifferent to look up the league tables though.
25% of the investment bank was fired, but only analysts got a “full” bonus. Everyone else is obviously on the big boy banker cycle.
http://www.abalert.com/Public/MarketPlace/Ranking/index.cfm
oh sorry wrong one.
Wachovia was indeed #1 in CRE CDOs, which means nothing since this is classic commercial bank business and a pretty niche business. Was WB also #1 in issuance of WB shares, as well as deposit market share in North Carolina. means nothing.
Wachovia is pure crap. Half of their Charlotte Investment Bank is UNC grads, I mean what do you expect.
http://www.cmalert.com/Public/MarketPlace/Ranking/index.cfm
haha right it definitely requires an ivy league degree to package a cdo.
seriously – anyone who depicts a UNC grad as too uneducated or otherwise inadequate to do ANYTHING finance-related is a fucking moron.
- ohio state grad
defending a bank’s competence by saying it did well in the CDO space is pretty much saying that the bank is really good at losing money.
If you are looking for a job, go to http://www.PinkSlipMixers.com