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And now, because all of this population restructuring talk is getting depressing, a little treat. Many of you will recognize it as porn, but we assure you it’s 100 percent safe for work.


Comments (14)

  1. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 3:24 PM

    Bess Levin = aspiring ornithologist? Who knew?

  2. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 3:27 PM

    nothing soothes the soul like a flock of egrets making sweet flight. Thanks for that.

  3. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 3:27 PM

    everyone who read dealbreaker yesterday.

  4. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 3:27 PM

    everyone who read dealbreaker yesterday.

  5. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 3:33 PM

    BESS isn’t the aspiring ornithologist, the readers who left the 60+ comments debating what type of bird (egret? pelican? heron? BLUEJAY???) is on sam israel’s business card are.

  6. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 3:36 PM

    dont forget titscratcher

  7. Posted by HAM05 | June 18, 2008 at 3:40 PM

    cleanup on isle DESK please

  8. Posted by Clown Capital | June 18, 2008 at 3:50 PM

    Nice. But I’m more of a cardinal bird watcher. Everyone knows redheads are dirtier.

  9. Posted by Lowly Assistant | June 18, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    My fucking god…those beautiful, erotic, sensual, lust-filled feathery torsos in flight! Maneuvering through the trials and tribulations of my lonely heart! Pitter patter goes my wanting!
    What next? Videos on excel shortcuts? My chastity belt has unbuckled!

  10. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 4:27 PM

    I need a cigarette

  11. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 5:04 PM

    snow birds?

  12. Posted by guest | June 18, 2008 at 10:32 PM

    please stop posting from breakingwind.com

  13. Posted by Cincinnatus C | June 18, 2008 at 11:06 PM

    bess =
    Verse One: (Ice Cube)
    It was once said by a man who couldn’t quit;
    ”Dopeman, please, can I have another hit?”
    The dopeman said: “Cluck, I don’t give a shit;
    If your girl kneels down, and sucks my dick!”
    It all happened and the guy tried to choke her;
    Nigga living in cash, ain’t nothing but a smoker.
    That’s the way it goes, that’s the name of the game;
    Young brother getting over by slangin’ caine.
    Gold around his neck 14 k, has it;
    Bitches sucking on his dick, 24-7.
    Plus he’s makin’ money keepin’ the base heads waiting;
    Rollin 6-4 with the fresh-ass daytons.
    Livin’ in Compton, California, CA
    His Uzi up your ass if he don’t get paid.
    Nigga begging for credit, he’s knockin’ out teeth;
    Clockin’ much dollars on the 1st and 15th kay shizze is a real fuckin g
    Big lot of money, nothing less than a twenty;
    Yo, you want a five-oh, the dopeman got plenty.
    To be a dopeman, boy, you must qualify;
    Don’t get high, off your own supply!
    From a kid to a G, it’s all about money;
    10-piece, 4-10, base pipe comes free.
    If people out there ain’t hip to the fact;
    If you see somebody gettin’ money 4 crack,
    He’s the
    Chorus:
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    ”Hey man, gimme a hit!”
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    ”Hey, yo, fuck that shit!”
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    ”We just can’t quit!”
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    ”Well suck this bitch!”
    (Dr. Dre)
    Wait a minute, wait a minute! Who the fuck are you talking to?
    Do you know who the fuck I am? Man, I can’t believe this shit.
    This bitch is tryin’ to gank me!
    I’ll slap you up side your head with 9 inches of limp dick!
    Verse Two: (Ice Cube)
    You need a nigga with money, so u get a dopeman;
    Juice that fool for as much as u can.
    She likes his car, and he gets with her;
    Got a black-eye coz the dopeman hit her.
    Let that slide, and you pay it no mind;
    Find that he’s slapping you, all the time!
    But that’s ok, coz he’s so rich,
    And you ain’t nothin’ but a dopeman’s bitch.
    Do what he say and you keep your mouth shut;
    Poppin’ that trash might get you fucked up!
    You’ll sit and cry if the dopeman strikes you;
    He don’t give a fuck, he got 2 just like you
    There’s a another girl in the dopeman’s life;
    Not quite a bitch, but far from a wife.
    She’s called ‘The Strawberry’ and everybody know;
    ”Strawberry! Strawberry! Is the neighbourhood hoe.”
    Do anything for a hit or two;
    Give the bitch a rock and she’ll fuck your whole damn crew
    It might be your wife and it might make you sick;
    Come home and see her mouth on the dopeman’s dick.
    Strawberry, just look you’ll see her;
    But don’t fuck around, she’ll give you gonnorhea.
    If people out there ain’t hip to the fact;
    Strawberry is a girl selling pussy for crack to the,
    Chorus:
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    ”Hey man, gimme a hit!”
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    ”Hey, yo, fuck that shit!”
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    In your face;
    Yo Dre, kick in tha bass!
    Verse Three: (Ice Cube)
    If ya smoke ‘caine, you’re a stupid motherfucker;
    Known around the hood as the schoolyard clucka.
    Doin’ that crack with all the money ya got;
    On ya hands & knees, searching for a piece of rock.
    Jonzing for a hit, now ya lookin’ for more.
    Doug stole a Alpine outta Eazy’s 6-4.
    Ya need ya ass whooped coz its outta this Earth;
    Cant get a 10-piece, need a dollar fifty’s worth.
    Knucklehead nigga, you turned into a crook;
    But swear up and down, boy, that you ain’t hooked.
    You beat ya friend up and you whooped his ass long;
    Coz he hit the pipe till the rock was all gone!
    You robbin’ and stealin’, bugging and illin’;
    While the dopeman’s dealing.
    What is killin’ your pain? Cocaine? This shit’s insane;
    Yo, E, she’s a berry, lets run a train!
    (Eazy-E)
    Man, I wouldn’t touch that bitch!
    (Ice Cube)
    Me neither, hoe go home and wash out ya beaver;
    And nigga’s are out there, messing up people’s health;
    Yo, what the fuck you gotta say for yourself?
    Verse Four: (Eazy-E)
    Well, Im the dopeman, yeah boy wear corduroy;
    Money up to here, but unemployed.
    You keep smoking that rock and my pocket’s getting bigger;
    (Dr. Dre)
    Yo, got that 5-0, double-up nigga!
    (Eazy-E)
    Yeah, high rollin’, big money, Im foldin;
    Bitch on my tip, for the dick, Im holdin.
    Strong strawberry, jockin’ me so early;
    Hoe, ya wanna hit? Ya gotta get your knees dirty.
    Well that’s my life, that’s how it’s cut;
    “Hey Dopeman!” Bitch shut the fuck up!
    Gotta make a run, it’s a big money deal;
    Gankers got the fake, but you can get the real,
    From the…
    Chorus:
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    Yeah, that’s me!
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    Yo, can I get a G?
    Dopeman! Dopeman!
    Clock as much as he can.
    Fuck this shit, who am I?
    THE DOPEMAN!
    Outro: (Eazy-E as the Mexican guy)
    Yo, Mr. Dopeman, you think your slick;
    Ya sold crack to my sister, and now she’s sick.
    But if she happens to die, because of your drug;
    Im puttin’ in your culo, a .38 slug!

  14. Posted by guest | June 19, 2008 at 5:28 AM

    Or – for those of us in London:
    When I’m Cleaning Windows
    George Formby
    - written by George Formby, Harry Gifford and Frederick E. Cliffe
    - as recorded September 27, 1936 by George Formby (1904-1961)
    Now I go cleanin’ windows to earn an honest bob
    For a nosy parker it’s an interestin’ job
    Now it’s a job that just suits me
    A window cleaner you would be
    If you can see what I can see
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    Honeymoonin’ couples too
    You should see them bill ‘n coo
    You’d be surprised at things they do
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    In my profession I’ll work hard
    But I’ll never stop
    I’ll climb this blinkin’ ladder
    Till I get right to the top
    The blushin’ bride, she looks divine
    The bridegroom he is doin’ fine
    I’d rather have his job than mine
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    The chambermaids’ sweet names I call
    It’s a wonder I don’t fall
    My mind’s not on my work at all
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    I know a fella, such a swell
    He has a thirst, that’s plain to tell
    I’ve seen him drink his bath as well
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    Oh, in my profession I’ll work hard
    But I’ll never stop
    I’ll climb this blinkin’ ladder
    Till I get right to the top
    Pyjamas lyin’ side by side
    Ladies nighties I have spied
    I’ve often seen what goes inside
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    —— banjo ——
    Now there’s a famous talkie queen
    She looks a flapper on the screen
    She’s more like eightie than eighteen
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    She pulls her hair all down behind
    Then pulls down her… never mind
    And after that pulls down the blind
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    In my profession I’ll work hard
    But I’ll never stop
    I’ll climb this blinkin’ ladder
    Till I get right to the top
    An old maid walks around the floor
    She’s so fed up, one day I’m sure
    She’ll drag me in and lock the door
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    When I’m cleanin’ windows
    I feel the sentiment is much the same, no?

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