• 22 Jul 2008 at 2:03 PM

Bonus Watch ’08: Morgan Stanley

By

Do you feel that? The sound of nothing going on today? Here’s something (that’s 48 hours away from being) exciting (if you are a Morgan Stanley analyst on the summer cycle): Thursday is the big day. And for the rest of you: you get nothing! Just kidding. Your safe-ish for work news is after the jump.


marisa-miller-ipod.jpg
See, it relates to finance because she’s using an Apple product.

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Comments (77)

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  1. 1
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:08 PM

    I never wanted to be an Ipod so much before. As for the MS kids, just be lucky Mack isnt pulling out his knife
    He should be cut himself, the game has passed him by
    “I dont make money, i print it”

  2. 2
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | July 22, 2008 at 2:14 PM

    I wonder what she’s listening to? The new Girl Talk album? I hope so…

  3. 3
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 2:15 PM

    @ Lowly
    I had a burning question too when I saw the pic as well, but it was most certainly not that…

  4. 4
    Posted by whatelseisgoingon | July 22, 2008 at 2:16 PM

    #3, Are you sure it was your question that was burning? You may want to get that checked out

  5. 5
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | July 22, 2008 at 2:18 PM

    (Just trying to play it cool, pretending not to give a shit.)

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:28 PM

    Lowly, you’re a poser

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:29 PM

    Bess – Fantastic post – you look great. Good luck to all those Dean Witter summer analysts on Thursday…

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:31 PM

    “dean witter”? burn.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    “dean witter”? burn.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    “dean witter”? burn.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:33 PM

    anyone know when bankatlantic bonuses are out?

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:34 PM

    anyone know when suntrust?= bonuses are out?

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:35 PM

    anyone know when National City are out?

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:36 PM

    anyone know when First Horizon bonuses are out?

  15. 15
    Posted by bank_teller | July 22, 2008 at 2:37 PM

    bess, you are the most amazing woman ever.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:37 PM

    anyone know when Burger King bonuses are out?

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    @2:37– BK give numbers friday. i’m pretty nervous, how do you think you’ll do?

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    Going to the lube now. Anyone has some cream?

  19. 19
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | July 22, 2008 at 2:47 PM

    #6,
    Wait, a Stussy poser or Alien Workshop poser? Please clarify.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:49 PM

    @2:37 – hearing that 10% of the analysts in the “fries” group are going to be whacked.

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 2:51 PM

    @2:49, i heard that too, any word on severance?

  22. 22
    Posted by Judson_Clark | July 22, 2008 at 2:59 PM

    WAH WAH WEE WAH MY STOINKER MY STOINKER WORKS AGAIN

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    @17, 20, 21
    I heard that severance is your sweaty uniform alongside a $100 coupon for free food.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    Wendy’s numbers will be huge given their shrewd arb bets on condiments spreads.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    i heard severance for fries group is 3 months of unlimited ketchup packets….only a rumor though

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:07 PM

    @23
    Bonus is the following:
    Bucket 1: Counterfeit US Passport/SSN Card
    Bucket 2: Bucket 3: Think and Grow Rich / Napoleon Hill
    Bucket 3: Counterfeit Canadian Passport/Canuck SSN Card (more a sick joke than anything else)

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:07 PM

    @23
    Bonus is the following:
    Bucket 1: Counterfeit US Passport/SSN Card
    Bucket 2: Think and Grow Rich / Napoleon Hill
    Bucket 3: Counterfeit Canadian Passport/Canuck SSN Card (more a sick joke than anything else)
    Confirmed

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:08 PM

    @23
    Bonus is the following:
    Bucket 1: Counterfeit US Passport/SSN Card
    Bucket 2: Think and Grow Rich / Napoleon Hill
    Bucket 3: Counterfeit Canadian Passport/Canuck SSN Card (more a sick joke than anything else)
    Confirmed

  29. 29
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:09 PM

    Fuck I meant SS card, not SSN, I’m a douche-bag
    - Douche Bag

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    Hey why don’t jew you like stop making fun of us?
    Lisa Rodriguez
    Assistant Manager, Herald Square BK

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:10 PM

    BL,
    girl is going to be pissed at you. Objectifying ipods like that.
    (of interest, “Marisa enjoys American Rugby, muscle cars, cooking, baseball and boxing”)

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:11 PM

    @ 26, 27, 28, 29:
    ONLY HIT THE FUCKIN SUBMIT BUTTON ONCE!

  33. 33
    Posted by FUNdamental | July 22, 2008 at 3:12 PM

    what she hasn’t heard of the ipod shuffle???

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:13 PM

    I think Global Hunter bonuses came out today

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:13 PM

    @32
    Sorry dude, had to make changes. But I know I’m a
    - Douche bag

  36. 36
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:18 PM

    From what I’ve heard, they are actually paying the VPs at Taco Bell with money this year. Analysts and Associates still get paid in bean burritos though.

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:21 PM

    I heard Sr. Vps Taco Bell got green cards

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:22 PM

    BK summer interns rumored to receive used hairnets

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:25 PM

    WTF – why the hell is WB up 25%? Any guess’s

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:26 PM

    Do banks fund seperate bonus pools for analysts?
    Or are these coming out of 2008 full year bonus pools?
    If its a seperate pool, is this funded on a June to June cycle based on results during that period, or is it programmatic amount?
    M&A and cap markets activity has been slow this year, and even 2nd half of last. So, it would seem this isn’t funded based on that, unless its based on closed deals rather than new ones.

  41. 41
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:31 PM

    @41 – A group of MDs at Taco Bell are working on a plan to buy the assets of SemGroup.

  42. 42
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 3:35 PM

    @ FUN
    Nice pickup, I’ve always been a fan of the runway strip style myself

  43. 43
    Posted by WillieBanks | July 22, 2008 at 3:47 PM

    The Free Breadsticks division at Fazoli’s will be paid bonuses with fictional Willie Banks casino chips (amount per breadstick analyst: $165 mill.)

  44. 44
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 3:57 PM

    SemGroup needs to merge with Taco Bell in order to survive.

  45. 45
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:00 PM

    “I don’t make fictional Willie Banks casino chips, I print them.”

  46. 46
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    @43 Yo momma is a landing strip.

  47. 47
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 4:02 PM

    @ #46 – Hate to be a stickler but I think you meant “I don’t lose fictional Willie Banks casino chips, I print them.”

  48. 48
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:05 PM

    @blnde What kind of iPod do you have?

  49. 49
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 4:10 PM

    @49 – I’m sorry to disappoint but there was actually a very long discussion about my iPod choices back a few months ago and I’m not going to rehash the subject. Dare to dream, though.

  50. 50
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:11 PM

    sounds like a sony walkman to me.

  51. 51
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 4:13 PM

    @49 – I’m sorry to disappoint but there was actually a very long discussion about my iPod choices back a few months ago and I’m not going to rehash the subject. Dare to dream, though.

  52. 52
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:13 PM

    Maybe its one of those ipod-shaped plastic cases that actually keeps bubble gum inside…

  53. 53
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:14 PM

    I bet she has a screen saver with the symbol of her sister’s (sorority) house.

  54. 54
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:16 PM

    I’m guessing old school boom box

  55. 55
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:21 PM

    OBAMA!
    Smack them Ho’s!

  56. 56
    Posted by diablo | July 22, 2008 at 4:22 PM

    Is that a picture of Morgan Stanley? Wow!

  57. 57
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:23 PM

    I bet that blnde donated her iPod to charity.

  58. 58
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:29 PM

    @all the tards asking blonde what kind of “iPod” she has– tell us about your ass hairs.

  59. 59
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 4:33 PM

    Touche #59

  60. 60
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:35 PM

    as stated last week i wear mine in small tight braids.

  61. 61
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:40 PM

    Mine double works as a comb over.

  62. 62
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 4:46 PM

    jheri curl for me

  63. 63
    Posted by FUNdamental | July 22, 2008 at 4:49 PM

    @blnde – just as long as it didn’t end up with you answering “I have a zune” I think we’re in ok shape.

  64. 64
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 4:52 PM

    @FUN – No, it definitely didn’t.
    The rest of you guys talking about your ass hair, I take it back. Please stop sharing.

  65. 65
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 4:57 PM

    I feel like theres a joke about a Memory Stick here, but I’m too tired to come up with something witty

  66. 66
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 4:59 PM

    @Anal_yst – Ah I chuckled at the thought of such a joke though. Extra points to you if you can muster the strength.

  67. 67
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 5:00 PM

    4:46:
    How do you apply your activator?

  68. 68
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 5:04 PM

    @ Blnde
    Its really hard to come up with something truly witty when there’s so many obvious openings…

  69. 69
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 5:05 PM

    wanna see something weird?
    http://www.amazon.com/LOVEFIFI-Deluxe-String-of-Bubbles/dp/B0011B6NSA

  70. 70
    Posted by blndebnker | July 22, 2008 at 5:07 PM

    @Anal_yst – I hear you. Too many choices. Oh well.

  71. 71
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 5:08 PM

    WARNING:
    link in #70 is def nsfw (I found out the hard way)

  72. 72
    Posted by FUNdamental | July 22, 2008 at 5:13 PM

    @anal @blnde — just be sure you don’t use blueTOOTH around the ipod…

  73. 73
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 5:13 PM

    @5:07 Is every opening on the menu?

  74. 74
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 5:15 PM

    @ Blnde
    Either my subtle perverted humour is neither perverted (enough) or humourous (enough), or you’re just that much more subtle than I, either way, meh

  75. 75
    Posted by fyi | July 22, 2008 at 5:30 PM

    @Anal: Too many obvious openings? I think you can quantify the number of openings available to insert a witty remark if my memory serves me correctly.

  76. 76
    Posted by Anal_yst | July 22, 2008 at 5:33 PM

    @ fyi
    normally, yes, that’d be the case, but this is dealbreaker, and the voice of reason has no place here

  77. 77
    Posted by guest | July 22, 2008 at 5:43 PM

    Bess, you’re the coolest ever.

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