Bonus Watch '08: Morgan Stanley

Do you feel that? The sound of nothing going on today? Here's something (that's 48 hours away from being) exciting (if you are a Morgan Stanley analyst on the summer cycle): Thursday is the big day. And for the rest of you: you get nothing! Just kidding. Your safe-ish for work news is after the jump.

marisa-miller-ipod.jpg

See, it relates to finance because she's using an Apple product.

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:08PM

I never wanted to be an Ipod so much before. As for the MS kids, just be lucky Mack isnt pulling out his knife

He should be cut himself, the game has passed him by

"I dont make money, i print it"

2

Posted by Lowly Assistant, Jul 22, 2008 2:14PM

I wonder what she's listening to? The new Girl Talk album? I hope so...

3

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 2:15PM

@ Lowly

I had a burning question too when I saw the pic as well, but it was most certainly not that...

4

Posted by whatelseisgoingon, Jul 22, 2008 2:16PM

#3, Are you sure it was your question that was burning? You may want to get that checked out

5

Posted by Lowly Assistant, Jul 22, 2008 2:18PM

(Just trying to play it cool, pretending not to give a shit.)

6

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:28PM

Lowly, you're a poser

7

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:29PM

Bess - Fantastic post - you look great. Good luck to all those Dean Witter summer analysts on Thursday...

8

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:31PM

"dean witter"? burn.

9

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:32PM

"dean witter"? burn.

10

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:32PM

"dean witter"? burn.

11

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:33PM

anyone know when bankatlantic bonuses are out?

12

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:34PM

anyone know when suntrust?= bonuses are out?

13

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:35PM

anyone know when National City are out?

14

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:36PM

anyone know when First Horizon bonuses are out?

15

Posted by bank_teller, Jul 22, 2008 2:37PM

bess, you are the most amazing woman ever.

16

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:37PM

anyone know when Burger King bonuses are out?

17

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:39PM

@2:37-- BK give numbers friday. i'm pretty nervous, how do you think you'll do?

18

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:39PM

Going to the lube now. Anyone has some cream?

19

Posted by Lowly Assistant, Jul 22, 2008 2:47PM

#6,

Wait, a Stussy poser or Alien Workshop poser? Please clarify.

20

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:49PM

@2:37 - hearing that 10% of the analysts in the "fries" group are going to be whacked.

21

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 2:51PM

@2:49, i heard that too, any word on severance?

22

Posted by Judson_Clark, Jul 22, 2008 2:59PM

WAH WAH WEE WAH MY STOINKER MY STOINKER WORKS AGAIN

23

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:05PM

@17, 20, 21

I heard that severance is your sweaty uniform alongside a $100 coupon for free food.

24

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:05PM

Wendy's numbers will be huge given their shrewd arb bets on condiments spreads.

25

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:05PM

i heard severance for fries group is 3 months of unlimited ketchup packets....only a rumor though

26

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:07PM

@23

Bonus is the following:

Bucket 1: Counterfeit US Passport/SSN Card
Bucket 2: Bucket 3: Think and Grow Rich / Napoleon Hill
Bucket 3: Counterfeit Canadian Passport/Canuck SSN Card (more a sick joke than anything else)

27

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:07PM

@23

Bonus is the following:

Bucket 1: Counterfeit US Passport/SSN Card
Bucket 2: Think and Grow Rich / Napoleon Hill
Bucket 3: Counterfeit Canadian Passport/Canuck SSN Card (more a sick joke than anything else)

Confirmed

28

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:08PM

@23

Bonus is the following:

Bucket 1: Counterfeit US Passport/SSN Card
Bucket 2: Think and Grow Rich / Napoleon Hill
Bucket 3: Counterfeit Canadian Passport/Canuck SSN Card (more a sick joke than anything else)

Confirmed

29

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:09PM

Fuck I meant SS card, not SSN, I'm a douche-bag

- Douche Bag

30

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:10PM

Hey why don't jew you like stop making fun of us?

Lisa Rodriguez
Assistant Manager, Herald Square BK

31

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:10PM

BL,

girl is going to be pissed at you. Objectifying ipods like that.

(of interest, "Marisa enjoys American Rugby, muscle cars, cooking, baseball and boxing")

32

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:11PM

@ 26, 27, 28, 29:

ONLY HIT THE FUCKIN SUBMIT BUTTON ONCE!

33

Posted by FUNdamental, Jul 22, 2008 3:12PM

what she hasn't heard of the ipod shuffle???

34

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:13PM

I think Global Hunter bonuses came out today

35

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:13PM

@32

Sorry dude, had to make changes. But I know I'm a

- Douche bag

36

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:18PM

From what I've heard, they are actually paying the VPs at Taco Bell with money this year. Analysts and Associates still get paid in bean burritos though.

37

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:21PM

I heard Sr. Vps Taco Bell got green cards

38

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:22PM

BK summer interns rumored to receive used hairnets

39

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:25PM

WTF - why the hell is WB up 25%? Any guess's

40

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:26PM

Do banks fund seperate bonus pools for analysts?

Or are these coming out of 2008 full year bonus pools?

If its a seperate pool, is this funded on a June to June cycle based on results during that period, or is it programmatic amount?

M&A and cap markets activity has been slow this year, and even 2nd half of last. So, it would seem this isn't funded based on that, unless its based on closed deals rather than new ones.

41

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:26PM

You guys aren't on the SemGroup collapse?

42

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:31PM

@41 - A group of MDs at Taco Bell are working on a plan to buy the assets of SemGroup.

43

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 3:35PM

@ FUN

Nice pickup, I've always been a fan of the runway strip style myself

44

Posted by WillieBanks, Jul 22, 2008 3:47PM

The Free Breadsticks division at Fazoli's will be paid bonuses with fictional Willie Banks casino chips (amount per breadstick analyst: $165 mill.)

45

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 3:57PM

SemGroup needs to merge with Taco Bell in order to survive.

46

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:00PM

"I don't make fictional Willie Banks casino chips, I print them."

47

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:02PM

@43 Yo momma is a landing strip.

48

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 4:02PM

@ #46 - Hate to be a stickler but I think you meant "I don't lose fictional Willie Banks casino chips, I print them."

49

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:05PM

@blnde What kind of iPod do you have?

50

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 4:10PM

@49 - I'm sorry to disappoint but there was actually a very long discussion about my iPod choices back a few months ago and I'm not going to rehash the subject. Dare to dream, though.

51

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:11PM

sounds like a sony walkman to me.

52

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 4:13PM

@49 - I'm sorry to disappoint but there was actually a very long discussion about my iPod choices back a few months ago and I'm not going to rehash the subject. Dare to dream, though.

53

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:13PM

Maybe its one of those ipod-shaped plastic cases that actually keeps bubble gum inside...

54

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:14PM

I bet she has a screen saver with the symbol of her sister's (sorority) house.

55

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:16PM

I'm guessing old school boom box

56

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:21PM

OBAMA!

Smack them Ho's!

57

Posted by diablo, Jul 22, 2008 4:22PM

Is that a picture of Morgan Stanley? Wow!

58

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:23PM

I bet that blnde donated her iPod to charity.

59

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:29PM

@all the tards asking blonde what kind of "iPod" she has-- tell us about your ass hairs.

60

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 4:33PM

Touche #59

61

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:35PM

as stated last week i wear mine in small tight braids.

62

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:40PM

Mine double works as a comb over.

63

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 4:46PM

jheri curl for me

64

Posted by FUNdamental, Jul 22, 2008 4:49PM

@blnde - just as long as it didn't end up with you answering "I have a zune" I think we're in ok shape.

65

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 4:52PM

@FUN - No, it definitely didn't.

The rest of you guys talking about your ass hair, I take it back. Please stop sharing.

66

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 4:57PM

I feel like theres a joke about a Memory Stick here, but I'm too tired to come up with something witty

67

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 4:59PM

@Anal_yst - Ah I chuckled at the thought of such a joke though. Extra points to you if you can muster the strength.

68

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 5:00PM

4:46:

How do you apply your activator?

69

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 5:04PM

@ Blnde

Its really hard to come up with something truly witty when there's so many obvious openings...

70

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 5:05PM

wanna see something weird?

http://www.amazon.com/LOVEFIFI-Deluxe-String-of-Bubbles/dp/B0011B6NSA

71

Posted by blndebnker, Jul 22, 2008 5:07PM

@Anal_yst - I hear you. Too many choices. Oh well.

72

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 5:08PM

WARNING:

link in #70 is def nsfw (I found out the hard way)

73

Posted by FUNdamental, Jul 22, 2008 5:13PM

@anal @blnde -- just be sure you don't use blueTOOTH around the ipod...

74

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 5:13PM

@5:07 Is every opening on the menu?

75

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 5:15PM

@ Blnde

Either my subtle perverted humour is neither perverted (enough) or humourous (enough), or you're just that much more subtle than I, either way, meh

76

Posted by fyi, Jul 22, 2008 5:30PM

@Anal: Too many obvious openings? I think you can quantify the number of openings available to insert a witty remark if my memory serves me correctly.

77

Posted by Anal_yst, Jul 22, 2008 5:33PM

@ fyi

normally, yes, that'd be the case, but this is dealbreaker, and the voice of reason has no place here

78

Posted by guest, Jul 22, 2008 5:43PM

Bess, you're the coolest ever.

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