Caption Contest Wednesday

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:25PM

Of all the days to forget to wear a bro...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:27PM

Maybe if I just cover my ass with my hand, it'll all be ok...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:30PM

An Fellas? Can we stop by a Men's room? I'm prairie doggin' over here...

Posted by Gordon Gekko, Jul 02, 2008 1:33PM

Bitch set me up!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:33PM

You've got the wrong guy, I'm his twin brother Oscar...

Posted by HAM05, Jul 02, 2008 1:33PM

clearly, youre not a golfer

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:34PM

Fuck..I knew the rope would have broken.

Posted by BlackSwan06, Jul 02, 2008 1:35PM

Shoot! The Feds made me get dressed so quick I left my undies in the RV...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:35PM

elian gonzalez??

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:36PM

The whole jail sentence deal sucks, but pales in comparison to the case of fetal penis-head I've been dealing with since birth.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:37PM

Can you loosen the cuffs so I can pick the thong out of my crack?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:38PM

Wish me and Doc Brown finished that Time Machine

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:38PM

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, got any gum?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:38PM

Wish me and Doc Brown finished that Time Machine

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:39PM

Uh, is this where I should put the "Exit Only" tattoo?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:39PM

Wish me and Doc Brown finished that Time Machine

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:40PM

For a second I thought that was Ace Greenberg.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:41PM

my back hurts. oww.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:43PM

Does this tie make me look fat?

Posted by CNote, Jul 02, 2008 1:44PM

Isreal, while surrendering to authorities, was quoted as saying, "God dammit. I keep having to pull out egret feathers. Why didn't we pluck them before jamming him up there? At least Gere shaved the damn gerbil."

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:45PM

I'm going to prison to play hide the mayo.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:46PM

It wasn't me... It was the One armed man!!!!!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:47PM

I should have used more mayo on my sandwiches, yeah!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:48PM

Well we’ve got you now Israel, and it’s gonna cost you an extra 10 years. Now go home for 30 days before your new sentence begins.

Posted by FUNdamental, Jul 02, 2008 1:49PM

I'm up to three fingers! NOW I'm ready for prison, Brothers here I come. (And here's where you'll...ohhhh boooooo)

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:50PM

Suicide by brownie ingestion takes time.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:50PM

Why does everyone say I could be Meredith Whitney's body double?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:50PM

So then, I started walking towards the white light...and that crazy bastard in the Town Car nearly ran me over.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:50PM

Suicide is painless. A cellmate named Butch however...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:52PM

I sure could use some peanut butter cups about now!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:53PM

@1:33 wait, you really are oscar

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:54PM

I'm way too pretty for prison

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:54PM

Can we do house arrest until I have the baby?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:55PM

This is wack.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:56PM

"What's going to happen to my egret?"

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:56PM

That's actually Paul Giamatti.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:57PM

Jews will do anything for money. SInce when is that a crime?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:57PM

Will MASH be shown in the klink?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:58PM

I'm going to drag you to temple and get the rabbi to mozeltoph your face!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:59PM

Who loves ya' baby?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:59PM

Who loves ya' baby?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 1:59PM

Who loves ya' baby?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:00PM

Geez, I apologize for the multiple Telly Savalas references.

Posted by FUNdamental, Jul 02, 2008 2:00PM

@150 - +1 well done.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:00PM

Please, don't let me go back to NJ.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:02PM

i'm not your guy, friend

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:02PM

Couldn't be bothered.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:03PM

Candy Crowely heads to the CNN makeup room

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:03PM

"On the other hand...."

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:04PM

Now that the cyanide is fading, I am back in action.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:06PM

"You dont send bail-jumpers to federal-pound-me-in-the-a$$ prison, right?"

Posted by bank_teller, Jul 02, 2008 2:06PM

"... and the 2nd one was supposed to be an egret, but my jailhouse tat will be a tramp stamp riiiigghhtt oooovveeer heeeerrree..."

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:08PM

Who moved my cheese?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:08PM

i'm not your friend, guy!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:09PM

The officers were considerate generous to handcuff only one hand, allowing Israel to read off the 2nd quarter Bayou earnings

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:11PM

"OOPS...I DID IT AGAIN"

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:12PM

I'm not your guy, buddy!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:13PM

"Does my personal investment in Bayou qualify for restitution from the $156 million recovered by authorities?" asked Sam Israel III

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:13PM

Got Lasik. Saw my girlfriend for the first time.

Posted by big r, Jul 02, 2008 2:13PM

imoscar.com

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:15PM

What? I am a Red Sox fan.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:16PM

The Big Question.....

When do the investors get their money back from that turd? It seems that in the US, someone can steal $zillions, get caught, pay a relatively minor fine to the Govt, go to jail for a few, come out and be a very wealthy criminal celebrity.

The people he stole from get the end of the stick with the shit on it. Will this case be any different?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:17PM

Fresh Fish, Fresh Fish!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:22PM

What's for lunch.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:22PM

I was on sabatical but I am back now, I have some offshore investors very interested in backing my next venture R.I.P., Ltd. (Rikers Island Partners, Ltd.).

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:22PM

I'm not your buddy, fwiend!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:24PM

I'm not your buddy, pal.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:25PM

Where is my mommy? Can I see my mommy?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:31PM

Once you go black...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:32PM

[this is not a caption]
is it winter in Massachusetts? How come there are no leaves on the trees?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:34PM

@ 2:31

...your dick shrivels up and falls off!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:36PM

I am a buddhist now.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:40PM

Looks like a cross between Telly Savalas and Mister Potato head

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:40PM

Bess Levin without her wig.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:42PM

papa can you hear me.....

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:43PM

It puts lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:44PM

are those Dockers?

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:44PM

@2:40 You take that back.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:48PM

it's carney without his make-up on.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:48PM

We don't need a death penalty. We've got the Tossed Salad* Man. If I had the choice between the electric chair and tossing a salad I'd be like, "So where do you plug it in? Shouldn't I be wet first?"

* Having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out with jelly or with syrup. I prefer syrup!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:48PM

Locked in cell block-A I see
Things they're going to do to me
The anal pain thats sure to be
I flease investors then I flee

Refrain

My pants wont soon be stainless
The Egrets are all blameless
And I'll be traded for smokes if they please

-countrarian

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 2:58PM

I LUV Black Dick

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:13PM

On the next episode of "Where are they now", we explore the rise and dall of pop brit recording artist, Boy George. Stay tuned...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:17PM

Do you really want to hurt me...do you really want to make me cry....

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:21PM

'I'm in deep.. ugh, I mean, they gonna go deep. I scared..
Note to self: be sure to buy some of them soap-on-a-roap things (Can't remember where I saw them but I seen 'em somewhere.. Maybe in some old movie.. but whatevers.. I sure somebody still sells 'em) as to thwart them mofo's waiting for my soap to slip out me hand.. You still got it old boy, you still got it [pat self on back]..'

D

Posted by Conflicts of disinterest, Jul 02, 2008 3:39PM

Ok, the good news is that while I was away I located the $400MM! After a very careful review, I have determined that it was stolen by the very same market speculators who have been manipulating the price of oil; can you say "two birds, one stone"? Here I have a seed proposal for a Canadian Recovery Fund... "Why Canada?", you may ask..

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:41PM

OMG! He's gonna get the mayo now!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:47PM

*WSJ: Federal Prosecutor: Israel Took Fentanyl, Morphine Tuesday

100% legitimate headline that just crossed on Reuters.

He couldn't even kill himself properly!!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:58PM

News Flash???

Sec'y Paulsen says today in London that he is looking for a way to let big IB's fail with the govt seeking to offer some kind of protection for the investors on the other side of the IB's trades. He wants something like the protection offered to commercial bank depositors.

Looks like there's a move to prevent any more Bear-type bailouts.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 3:58PM

He's just took a little, it will help when he uses the Klinger Defense at trial.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 4:01PM

And for my next trick, watch me pull an egret out of my a$$...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 4:05PM

Do I really look this bad? All the chicks used to tell me I was good looking. I wonder what went wrong...

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 4:09PM

"Mom brokered hedge fund fugitive's surrender"

This is classic the big time hedge fund manager needed his mommy to broker a deal for his surrender!

Posted by Conflicts of disinterest, Jul 02, 2008 4:13PM

"He is such a good boy... really misunderstood," said his mother.

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 4:27PM

A PI friend tells me the best way to catch deadbeats,con men or killers on the lam, is to get Momma's cell phone records.Eventually, the perp calls home, and one family member will know where he is hiding out.Once you get that info, creating a sting to flush him out is easier than doin' Babs Walters, and you can still look at yourself in the mirror.

Posted by bank_teller, Jul 02, 2008 4:30PM

my mom tells me it would be okay if i were a fugitive as long as i called home more often.

Posted by Clown Capital , Jul 02, 2008 4:45PM

SHOUT OUT TO 1:48PM!!!

HE'S THE ONLY ONE WORTH SHOUTING OUT. LMAO. BESS, GIVE THAT MAN AN AWARD!!!

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 5:00PM

(2:48 is to be sung to the tune of Suicide is Painless)

Posted by guest, Jul 02, 2008 6:58PM

I'm too sexy for my cat
too sexy for my cat
what you think of that?????

Watch your cornhole Sammy!