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Happy Time for Hedgies

In an attempt to stop throwing phones and temper tantrums over the lousy markets, a growing number of financiers are taking up yoga to “take a step back…and stay focused,” the Wall Street Journal writes in its A-Hed today.
The math whizzes at D.E. Shaw offer hour-long classes at the New York office, with about 80 of the 750 employees signed up. Allianz SE’s Pacific Investment Management, Blue Ridge Capital, Karsch Capital, and Pimco also get down with the dog.
Notable yogis include billionaires Paul Tudor Jones and William H. Gross, who specialize in Ashtanga, “an active form of yoga that involves flowing through a set series of poses.” Gross practices five days a week and says his best ideas come when he is standing on his head. I have to ask this question, though: Doesn’t anyone else find it kind of hard to concentrate when the blood is rushing to your head?
While most of these dudes seem to fully embrace yoga, Michael Karsch admits he doesn’t do all the poses, for fear of his balls dropping off: “I still feel like doing handstands during work is a little inappropriate.” Additionally, cult-like chanting of “om” and “aum,” common at the beginning of general yoga classes, is not favored by the financial professionals that yoga master Michael Ward and his wife offer classes to.
The alternative chant: Relax, go do it, when you want to go do it (Forward to 1:20).
Senior Yogi Travis

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32 Responses to “Happy Time for Hedgies”

  1. guest says:

    Many energy brokers have been practicing transcendental meditation in Fairfield, IA, for decades.

  2. guest says:

    Allianz SE’s Pacific Investment Management= Pimco

  3. guest says:

    @1:11
    ditto

  4. guest says:

    While some billionaires practice yoga, most yogi aren’t billionaires.

  5. guest says:

    im with 1:11

  6. Travis says:

    @ 2,3
    My bad, I’m a dummy.

  7. guest says:

    stupidity begets stupidity.
    in proportion to the square of the collective IQ, apparently.

  8. guest says:

    7 refers to hedgies (and their sycophants), not 6.

  9. guest says:

    Bill Gross the famous fund manager from Pimco will be there, also some dickhead named William Gross, from Allianz, no relation…

  10. KLW says:

    Lots of obnoxious young finance guys have started appearing in my Bikram class, because I guess it’s more manly and extreme. It’s cute to watch them try to “win” at yoga.

  11. Anal_yst says:

    ahahaha KLW i almost just snarfed

  12. guest says:

    @10, whereas you, of course, are “above” all that.
    that’s why you call it “Bikram,” when really all it is 7th grade gymnstic warm-ups with guided fantasy.

  13. guest says:

    Forgot Daniel Loeb

  14. guest says:

    #12 and what is more amusing is many wear their 7th grade gym shorts – because of the “heat” and all….

  15. KLW says:

    @ #12–I’m not above anything. I win because I still fit into my junior prom dress; I don’t really care if I’m doing better than a bunch of seamlessweb-stuffed analysts

  16. BruceWayne says:

    @13
    I hear Dan Loeb can pin his legs behind his ears. Something no man with an adequate nutsack should attempt. Always mind your surroundings, always protect your jewels.

  17. guest says:

    KLW, now you made me laugh – cuz its so true.

  18. guest says:

    KLW wore a shamu costume to her prom. No wonder she still fits into it.

  19. guest says:

    @ 12
    I am worse than KLW.
    Grade 7 gymnastics my ass – you want to win at yoga use KLWs benchmark along with bruce wayne/dan loebs. The latter is a genetic gift from my mother but i win in every yoga class i have ever been in.

  20. guest says:

    Nothing I like better when I’m drunk than a fit, obnoxious, loose chick.

  21. guest says:

    Yoga chicks are kinda hit, yoga guys are vaguely ridiculous.
    Just like Goth chicks are kinda hot, Goth guys are vaguely ridiculous.

  22. guest says:

    hottest hedge fund manager? i say loeb

  23. guest says:

    “hottest hedge fund manager? i say loeb”
    no way. larry robbins.

  24. guest says:

    “hottest hedge fund manager? i say loeb”
    no way. larry robbins.
    agreed.

  25. guest says:

    jim simons is pretty fucking hot.

  26. guest says:

    @21 I meant “Yoga chicks are kinda HOT, not hit.
    I’d hit it in the downward dog, though.

  27. guest says:

    @21 I meant “Yoga chicks are kinda HOT”
    , not hit.
    I’d hit it in the downward dog, though.

  28. guest says:

    good topic travis -run with this.
    yoga is fucking great and also funny/ ridiculous.
    downward facing douchebags!
    -retail (aka yogatrader, aka yogionekenobi)

  29. guest says:

    larry robbins is what i think the TGFD looks like….

  30. guest says:

    DON’T BRING UP TGFD! He’ll show up.

  31. BruceWayne says:

    @30
    Say his name 3 times in a mirror

  32. DFDesigns says:

    For those guys who want to do their yoga but not forget who they really are check out the perfect men’s yoga pants for a hedgie/trader.
    I spent 30 years on the Street, the last few as COO of a fund, no I make cool clothes… some stress, more fun…
    check out http://www.buydfdesigns.com/pookies_product.jsp?pdId=24&c=
    Have_More_Funds_in_Bed&k=Men%27s_Drawstring_Pants