Earlier this week Citigroup chief executive Vikram Pandit summoned 60 executives to the megabank's private country club in Armonk, N.Y. to present his plan to restore Citi's lost luster.
We won't bore you with the details of the plan. (But Eric Dash of the New York Times will do so, if you insist.) It's mostly platitudes that seem unlikely to restore the lost morale of executives who've seen their fortunes plummet with Citi's share price. The real problems with this plan begin before the details. They begin, in fact, with the title Pandit gave his plan--"The Rules Of The Road."
What could be wrong with that?
It's a clichéd and hackneyed phrase, first of all. But more importantly, it sends the wrong message. The rules of the road--we mean the real rules of the kind of roads you drive on--are stupid and frequently ignored. If you want to establish a dynamic and responsible corporate culture aimed at growth, the rules of the road are the last thing you should use as a model.
Road rules are a great example of errant and arbitrary regulations. Stop signs proliferate across America without rhyme or reason--usually because someone requests one and there's no effective anti-stop sign lobby. Individuals are penalized for virtually riskless behavior like not waiting for lights to turn green at empty intersections. Government officials frequently flout the rules, parking where they want to and ignoring traffic rules. Cops probably run stop signs more frequently than they stop at them. Many towns and cities use the rules as a way of raising revenue without regard to actual safety. Most people understand the rules of the road are stupid and ignore them when they can get away with it.
What's more, road rules make roads less safe, as British writer John Staddon explains in the latest issue of the Atlantic. Stop signs, for instance, waste gas and lead to more traffic accidents. When traffic signs are reduced, accidents decrease and fewer people are injured. "The more you look for signs, for police, and at your speedometer, the less attentive you will be to traffic conditions," Staddon explains.
Citi needs a culture closely attuned to market conditions, the safe navigation through dangerous intersections (like a credit crunch) and reaching the destination of profitability safely. "Rules of the Road" should be kicked to the curb.
Posted by diablo , Jul 17, 2008 4:06PM
What's could be wrong with that?
's
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:06PM
I saw Vik at Dawat
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:17PM
Rule of the Road #1: Never piss uphill while barefooted.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:19PM
Road Rule #2: Don't bump employees off the company plane so you can be alone with a CNBC reporter.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:19PM
o rly
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:23PM
Road Rule #3: Never make fun of the ugliest girl in credit because the CEO is probably banging her. (Like a screen door in a hurricane!)
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:26PM
Road Rule #4: Never bogart a joint at a bridge tournament.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:26PM
#4----every airplane will have a partner.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:27PM
MER takes a $9.7 billion dollar write down.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:27PM
MER takes a $9.7 billion dollar write down.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:29PM
Road Rule #4 - don't give an 8-year veteran of the firm a $3k annual bonus and expect them to be forever grateful.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:30PM
Road Rule #5 - Don't eat the yellow snow.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:32PM
Rule #5 - "brakes" not "breaks", Carney
Posted by blndebnker , Jul 17, 2008 4:32PM
Road Rule #6 - Don't do anything to wipe that incorrigible smile off of Vik's face.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:34PM
Road Rule #6. Explain to the 8 year ops vets that they can be replaced. Then demand they pay you.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:44PM
8 year vet WAS NOT in ops and left with dignity intact.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:51PM
Rule of the Road #1: always piss uphill while barefooted.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:52PM
Road Rule #2: Do bump employees off the company plane so you can be alone with a CNBC reporter.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:52PM
Road Rule #3: Always make fun of the ugliest girl in credit because the CEO is probably banging her. (Like a screen door in a hurricane!)
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:53PM
Road Rule #4 - do give an 8-year veteran of the firm a $3k annual bonus and expect them to be forever grateful.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:54PM
Road Rule #5 - eat the yellow snow.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:55PM
Rule #5 - "breaks" not "brakes", Carney
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 17, 2008 4:56PM
rule # 7: Stoptionals
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 4:57PM
Road Rule #6 - wipe that incorrigible smile off of Vik's face.
Posted by Madmoney , Jul 17, 2008 5:07PM
John Stossel too
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/07/tear_down_the_stop_signs.html
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:13PM
rule #8 - Don't rely on the spellchecker to change "breaks" to "brakes" for you...
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:14PM
rule #8 - rely on the spellchecker to change "breaks" to "brakes" for you...
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:15PM
rule # 7: NO Stoptionals
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:17PM
glad to see the cost cutting hasnt reached deep enough - they havent parted with the Sandy Weill Conference and Boondoggle Center yet. The wine cellar alone would pay for half the heads they cut
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:31PM
Last week, at the company’s rustic meeting center in Armonk, about 30 miles north of Midtown Manhattan, Mr. Pandit tried to lift spirits and brainstorm for ideas about how to reshape his company’s culture. He pushed 60 top managers to build on his seven rules, which he unveiled in the last few weeks. Those rules include items like “client connectivity,” “transparency” and “assplay.”
Uncle Vik, he is berry berry funny and loves to joke about assplay.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:31PM
Last week, at the company’s rustic meeting center in Armonk, about 30 miles north of Midtown Manhattan, Mr. Pandit tried to lift spirits and brainstorm for ideas about how to reshape his company’s culture. He pushed 60 top managers to build on his seven rules, which he unveiled in the last few weeks. Those rules include items like “client connectivity,” “transparency” and “assplay.”
Uncle Vik, he is berry berry funny and loves to joke about assplay.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:34PM
rule #9: BRING BACK THE RED UMBRELLA
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 5:47PM
7 rules? Jesus wept.
It Chuckles Prince's 5 Point Plan all over again.
Posted by michange , Jul 17, 2008 6:05PM
The entire point of Carney here is probably about Staddon's mustache, full stop.
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/07/tear_down_the_stop_signs.html
Posted by michange , Jul 17, 2008 6:08PM
Stossel's, a mustache!
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/07/tear_down_the_stop_signs.html
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 6:57PM
Saddam is dead, why are you discussing his mustache?
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 7:20PM
GUEST 4:19 and 4;52 pm.......I like your ability to remember.....most seem to forget, which is what the principals in that scenario would like. Like your style.
Posted by guest , Jul 17, 2008 10:10PM
Another Indian punditry
Posted by guest , Jul 18, 2008 12:09AM
Drive angry much, Carney?
Posted by guest , Jul 18, 2008 9:06AM
Rule# whatever: do continue to have managers "work from home" everytime it rains....
Posted by guest , Jul 18, 2008 11:40AM
Pandit was thinking ahead. If/when the executives mess up down the road he can release a sequel - "Acceptable Road Rage"
Posted by guest , Jul 18, 2008 10:43PM
Looks like its working though, Citi beat estimates. Now may be Dimon needs to do some talking with his execs, because they will need a miracle to beat the Bear ghost next quarter.