CNBC reports that Sam Israel III, the convicted former hedge fund manager who no one believed committed suicide after he failed to show up to start serving a 20-year sentence for defrauding clients of a bunch o’ money, has been taken into custody in Southwick, Massachusetts. The industry’s biggest M*A*S*H fan apparently surrendered himself to authorities at 9:30 this morning. Finally, we’re going to find out if the unknown tattoo on the Bayou Group founder’s hip is a. two egrets having sex b. two egrets having a type of sex that is illegal in 38 states or c. a depiction of interspecies sex between a human and a bird (participants: Sam Israel and egret). While we wait for more info to come out, someone riddle me this: do conjugal visits have to be between one human and another or are the rules flex enough to include feathered friends? Interested parties would like to know.
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great story
…compelling and rich.
Bess, go over and find out the real story.
wow this guy can’t even pull off a fake suicide, how the hell did he convince anyone he could run a hedge fund, what a f’in piker!
http://www.nowpublic.com/tech-biz/steve-rattner-paid-my-wife-500-000-00-leave-me
This is what is really important today
http://www.nowpublic.com/tech-biz/steve-rattner-paid-my-wife-500-000-00-leave-me
This is what is really important today
Analy, not only that, he couldn’t even get his weak ass out of the country. Isn’t rule #1 of running a scam to have a plane ticket to Namibia in your pocket at all times?
http://www.nowpublic.com/tech-biz/steve-rattner-paid-my-wife-500-000-00-leave-me
This is what is really important today
http://www.nowpublic.com/tech-biz/steve-rattner-paid-my-wife-500-000-00-leave-me
This is what is really important today
Probably was exhausted from staying at lesser motels, having to actually drive himself around, drinking tap water instead of Perrier, dealing with window unit A/C, and eating at restaurants with poor wine selections. They say “being on the run” is tough, you know.
I bet he just run out of egrets. I mean, the man needs to get some action.
Israel’s last words before being read Miranda:
“Not in front of the egret. She doesn’t deserve this.”
He got all the was to Mass. It was a valiant effort.
unrelated subject: our intern is a certified retard
What a completely unclimatic end to a great story. It’s like doing a minute man…
Turning yourself in is for pussies.
@11:01 – do tell. i always love dumb intern stories.
it’s a whooping crane.
Bob Crane
The Times still thinks that finding the link between the windshield message and M*A*S*H was a revelation: “When Mr. Israel’s body failed to turn up and the message turned out to be the theme song of ”M*A*S*H,” the authorities began to suspect he was on the run.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/03/business/03bayou.html?hp
The Times = The NY Post for dummies
That you, LeBeau?
ABK halted – any ideas as to why?
Net Result: Instead of spending the next 18 years a minimum security camp, he gets to spend the full 20 at a maximum security pound-you-in-the-ass federal prison. Have fun, Sam!
ABK no halty.
@11:38 – maybe that’s what he was hoping for but was too embarrassed to ask.
@ quadruple poster crying about steven rattner:
why the hell did he (you) marry a hooker? You’re bitching about a rich guy stealing your wife, but totally ok that your wife is a prostitute? Huh?
What an idiot. If you do something wrong, you better be willing to face the music.
I’m very dissapointed. This guy is a former Hedge Fund manager, with months to plan an escape and that’s all he could come up with? I thought Israel was going to end up in some exotic country with his millions that he stashed away in foreign accounts and hideouts. What a let down.
Seriously… Massa-friggin-chusetts was the best this guy could do? I swear I thought he’d be on an air mattress in Windhoek by now… How thoroughly disappointing. I expected a little more out of this guy… but given the MASH-inspired faux exit, I guess I shouldn’t have had such lofty expectations given the “he went that-a-way” school of faking his own death…
What a moron! Doesn’t this guy know that citizenship to Togo only costs $8000! He could have easily made it out of the country with Togo passport in hand, only to run an ever bigger scam from that country. This is indeed a said day for the HF industry.
- The Indian Guy
That idiot could have been in Canada in less than 5 hours. He had a camper, he could have hung out Northern Canada and never been caught. On second thought, prison sounds better.
I heard he tried to get into Connecticut but was turned away because he was wearing “Dockers”.
With the spectacular success of his fund, did anyone really expect him to make it out of the US? Let’s review his fake suicide plan…
1. Drive to a bridge
2. Write Suicide is Painless on your car
3. Run away
4. FOOL EVERYBODY!
His big plan was to park his car somewhere and write a note with the word suicide in it and suddenly EVERYONE WOULD BE FOOLED. Never mind that there would be one key ingredient missing from this recipe…a body…
He probably thought he was safe in Massachusetts. After all, his car was found in New York and EVERYONE thought he was dead. Why would anyone look for him in New England?
It really bothers me how dumb some of these people are.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/07/02/israel.arrest/index.html
How did he get caught?
He never stopped talking to his mother. Unsurprisingly, the feds were able to establish a connection between Sam Israel and his mother. They then used the very sneaky technique of asking her where he was.
Seriously, how did this guy run a fund? I can’t wait to start one, I could throw darts at tickers and still have a better strategy than this guy.
What an idiot. Anybody find out where was he hiding for a month?
Faggot.
Sam Israel’s purpose in life is to serve as a warning to all Investors to do their diligence and background checks on managers in whose funds they invest, nothing more, nothing less.
Well, look, in this guy’s defense, if history and Ted Kennedy have taught us anything its that when they find a car parked near a lake/river in Mass with a passenger mysteriously missing, they usually just let it go.
Anal_yst, he has one other purpose and it involves egrets and Barry White music
@ Dead Horse
I’m not sure if thats an asterix on his resume, or the proverbial “icing on the cake”
Since he failed at a getaway (who leaves a suicide note at the specific location of the supposed suicide?), the least he could have down was turn himself in in elaborate style.
What I would have done:
Supplies: 2 hits of LSD, Water-balloons, a small plane, 2 parachutes, an egret, and 20 stoners.
Start the day off with the 20 stoners, the egret, and the parachute at a local university. Get high with them in the parachute on campus (http://youtube.com/watch?v=FKb3qRljGBc). Cops will come, so have your airplane ready to go a block away. Once the cop comes and lifts up the parachute, everyone will run out, including the egret, which will be hilarious. Hop in plane, take 2 hits of LSD. Lift off. Fly the plane around a busy area, one with many pedestrians among the streets. Begin throwing water-balloons at the pedestrians below until the cops come. Once the cops arrive, ascend as high as you so feel, and jump out with your second parachute and many many water-balloons. Pelt the cops with the water-ballons for the duration of your descent. By this time, you should be high and mighty on the LSD, and will be giddy as hell as you are taken in.
Ciao.
Conjugal visits aren’t allowed but there’s nothing banning bird fucking per se. http://www.bop.gov/inmate_locator/conjugal.jsp