• 17 Jul 2008 at 9:30 AM

Swiss Bank Taking Threat Of Jail Time Seriously

By John Carney

UBS apparently had a compliance “teach-in” about speculation/rumor spreading with its brokers Tuesday afternoon. Whether the meeting was held as a preventative measure or more of a “How To” tutorial is unclear. Have you been forced to take these classes? Let us know. Don’t think we’ll be hearing an affirmative from Goldman but anyone else? Lehman?

Comments (34)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 9:56 AM

    Wrote this, having fun with the Swiss.
    http://www.monkeybusinessblog.com/mbb_weblog/2008/07/hey-boysi-think.html

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 9:58 AM

    hey, monkeybusiness, quit the self-promoting.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:00 AM

    Why? You like it, you read it. You don’t like it leave it alone.

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:01 AM

    what a Load…

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:06 AM

    because it’s fucking annoying?

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:14 AM

    The only thing LEH should be teaching their people is how to trade without burying the company, bunch of amateurs
    “I dont make money, I print it”

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:22 AM

    It’s “I don’t lose money, I print it.”

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    Bess – Can you please post your field hockey pic? I didn’t get to see it. Pretty please…

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:37 AM

    ubs is a bunch of frauds

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:37 AM

    Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t UBS the firm where Erin Callan is going in Sept to direct the international hedge fund activities?
    If so, I can really sense the set-up taking place. Not only will she take the fall for the upcoming hf implosions, but jail time too? Wow! What a woman.
    The Guy from Delaware

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:39 AM

    guy from delaware– congrats, you are an idiot. erin is going to credit suisse.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:45 AM

    callan is going to credit suisse.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:46 AM

    delaware– wrong swiss bank. now go away.

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:47 AM

    TGFD – How do you handle the hussle and bussle of Dover?? It’s so hectic there, like no comparison to NYC. Do you work for Dover Capital Management? Geez, you’re at the center of it all.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:52 AM

    UBS is now possibly the worst bank in the world to work for. Those guys are the biggest dumb asses I have ever met…talk about bottom tier IB. Go back to Switzerland and do what you do best…nothing.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:53 AM

    Guest@10:45am…
    Thank you for the correction I requested.
    You other three ‘guests’…
    What makes you so damn sure that Credit Suisse isn’t thinking the same thing as UBS?
    The Guy from Delaware

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:57 AM

    TGFD- good idea, steer the convo away from the fact that you were wrong, and are an idiot.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 10:59 AM

    I would def make sexytime with Erin Callan, shes a top tier cougar. Shes got lots of cash to lavish me with gifts.
    TGFD, seriously you are a tool. Stop annoying us with your presence, where do you work in the mail room for JPM there? At least get your facts straight
    UBS is a good firm, I know alot of people there. They have the same issue as everyone else. A few so called Masters of the Universe thought they were smrter than everyone else, collected fees and thought they were killin it. They were killin it, the firm that is.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:01 AM

    I bet she (erin that is) shags like minks!

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:04 AM

    erin is married and lives with her husband at 15cpw.

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:17 AM

    Thanks 11:04…how long have you been picking up Erin’s dry-cleaning and walking her dogs?

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:26 AM

    Easy on TGFD.
    He is special (the politically correct special). He brags about how many woman complimented him in his Lilly Pulitzer bathing suit. Heck he even provided us with a breakdown on age and # of compliments. Of course because he is special and doesn’t get irony he didn’t realize that they were really mocking him. He was to preoccupied trying to figure out if the 12 year old was Lolita or not.
    He understands Wall Street like he understand compliments.
    I am looking forward to his “treatise on woman” and hopes he follows it up with a “treatise on wall street”.
    I only wish we could trade TGFD and then i could short him into oblivion.

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:27 AM

    11:04 – GO AWAY!, you are ruining the small sliver of fun bankers can have during the day. If I was your MD and saw/heard that comment I would immediatly fire you and cut off your big toes.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:28 AM

    Guest@11:01,
    I think you mean “Minx”.
    Pronunciation: \ˈmiŋ(k)s\
    Function: noun
    Etymology: origin unknown
    Date: 1576
    1 : a pert girl
    2 : a wanton woman
    Eats, shoots, leaves…

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:43 AM

    US SENATOR: SHUT DOWN SWISS BANK UBS
    http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=5394214&page=1

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:51 AM

    TGFD, or known to his friends as Humbert Humbert. A way fun guy. He is indeed “special.”
    @11:26 a.m. – I too wish we could trade him and you could short him into oblivion.
    Some anonymous guest wanted him back.

  27. 27
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 11:57 AM

    Goon@11:26am…
    Hahaha. I enjoyed the post. Funny actually. I like it.
    You wouldn’t really want to “short me into oblivion” now, would you?
    You clowns like my posts, don’t you? I haven’t failed to miss your “irony” either. I like it.
    “Sex and Crazy” is what you want. I try to steer some of that your way, and in return, I learn some good info about Wall St finance. I think we all like the arrangement.
    I know that you clowns are intelligent and talented, and I appreciate a lot of the shit you throw at me.
    BTW, I did pass the Mensa test back in 1981. Does that qualify me as retarded? The other day, one of you “ballers” asked me if I’m a retard.
    The Guy from Delaware

  28. 28
    Posted by diablo | July 17, 2008 at 12:29 PM

    This is the type of thing inhouse lawyers are paid for. So the brokers got the “training” so next time the federales come knocking at UBS’s door, those brokers are on their own.

  29. 29
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 12:45 PM

    The Guy from Delaware,
    MENSA is a good way to throw your money away to prove you are of average intelligence and attend annual circle jerks.
    nice going.

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 12:51 PM

    The janitor at my office is in MENSA. No joke.

  31. 31
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 12:52 PM

    TGFD needs to merge with TOGFD in order to survive

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 12:56 PM

    OR you could get long on him and hold him until the sun comes up.

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | July 17, 2008 at 1:58 PM

    @ 12:52
    WHOA! TGFD is a hommie, but I don’t care for your insinuation there, dude.
    The Other Guy from Delaware

  34. 34
    Posted by beentheredonethat | July 17, 2008 at 2:06 PM

    @12:29
    In house lawyers are paid for only one thing. To always say, regardless of the situation, “Yes, its legal.”

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