No need for the tip we shared with you earlier. According to the cynical assholes (that's a compliment) at DealBook, your wife's going to leave you for reasons more important than cheating--your impending poverty. A survey of 100 analysts, stockbrokers and hedge fund managers in London showed that 80 percent of respondents believe that lower bonus payments will cause the gilded ball and chain to seek a divorce "before their husbands' wealth evaporates further," or things get really bad, and they take up employment at Citi.
At this time, if anyone could find us a clip of the scene in Liar, Liar when Jim Carrey does his little victory dance and sings preeee-nup-tiallll agreeee-ment, which has been in my head for the last 20, that'd be top notch. Say what you want about it, that movie is funny. In the meantime, let's all enjoy this one, on me:
The Other Cost of the Financial Crisis [DealBook]
This one, too, which I encourage you to incorporate at the office:
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:10PM
I don't know which is more sickening: the women who would do that or the retarded finance men who fell for those women.
If bonuses are down across the board - wouldn't that mean that the ex-wives would have hard time finding a new sucker, er, husband to buy them more 'happy'?
Posted by mrpink , Jul 11, 2008 4:15PM
Fashion Meets Finance... that's where it all started....
-mrp
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:28PM
Women like those mentioned help to give all women the second-rate status they currently enjoy. There are probably a lot more women out there who are like the ones mentioned than we would want to believe.
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:30PM
Ahhahahaha
"starting to spend less on 'the other woman'"
priceless
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:30PM
Ahhahahaha
"starting to spend less on 'the other woman'"
priceless
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:31PM
what happened to for richer or credit crunch eh?
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:42PM
ahh, "the other woman"! That explains it. Your wife turned the other cheek because of your wallet, now that its on its way to zero, she has no reason to stay. Good call Dick!
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:45PM
THE PEN IS BLUE! THE G@$DAMN PEN IS BLUE!
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 4:47PM
(After they have sex)
"That was AMAZING, how was it for you?"
"I've had better."
Posted by StMarc , Jul 11, 2008 4:57PM
I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Soon I may no longer be priced out of the mistress market!
M
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 11, 2008 4:59PM
Ha, I've had better! I've had better???? Ahhh
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 6:04PM
for once, i would love to see just one douchebag ibanker grow some fucking balls and learn how to tell his cunt of a wife that if she goes on one more bloody spending spree at that retarded boutique where all those turds from project runway hang out, he's going to kick her out of the apartment they can no longer afford, with no more than the $1000 shirt on her boney anorexic back.
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 7:00PM
hey, don't you go around crapping on anorexics now. You know it's hard work to stay skinny. Try it yourself, fat ass.
Posted by NotNasser , Jul 11, 2008 8:06PM
Bulimia's a tougher way of staying skinny than anorexia.
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 8:39PM
@ 7:00 pm
6:04 pm here ... perhaps I should have said "... with no more than the $1000 shirt on her fat back that filled out after deciding to stop being anorexic"
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 8:44PM
F for reading comprehension:
80 percent of those surveyed believe that the turmoil — and lower bonus payments — will prompt MORE women to seek a divorce before their husbands’ wealth evaporates further.
ONE OUT OF TEN is worried that their own spouse may be considering a divorce
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 9:00PM
@FFF for thinking you're calling them out when what you just said when in reality, your first point-- that women are going to divorce their husband before they get any poorer-- is what the fucking post said. genius.
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 9:03PM
Well, they only have themselves to blame. When you go for a "trophy wife" or a woman who you believe comports with your "status" what in the hell else do you expect?
But, lessons will not be learned. This crisis will pass. Financial creativity will ensue and once again some finance folks will be flush with money thanks to either sheer genius, brutal 100+ cog-in-a-wheel work weeks, or just plain dumb luck. And that blonde skinny chick with the nice tatas who's admiring your well tailored suit and Gucci shoes more so than anything else will once again seem like wife material...
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 9:36PM
F for writing skills and vocabulary too @ 9PM
Posted by guest , Jul 11, 2008 9:51PM
If you're afraid of going the trophy wife route in the current economy, read Maureen Dowd's Times column, in which she reprints a celibate priest's tips on choosing a spouse. Without irony. No, this isn't your church circular, it's the New York Times.
Posted by guest , Jul 12, 2008 1:31AM
Guest@6:04pm/@8:39pm 07/11,
I like your posts. You have good ideas. Your 6:04 post is especially good.
Posted by guest , Jul 12, 2008 3:00PM
prenuptial agreements are not recognized by British courts as they "undermine" marriage. So the joke is on anyone stupid enough to marry a trophy girlfriend..
Posted by NSD , Jul 12, 2008 6:29PM
the joke is on anyone stupid enough to live in england
Posted by guest , Jul 13, 2008 9:00AM
That's the funniest story I have read in a long time!
Posted by guest , Jul 13, 2008 12:44PM
The British have complicated issues about moving up or down in class that makes their lives that much more neurotic.
Posted by guest , Jul 13, 2008 12:59PM
Hey, those of you guys upset by your wives' spending during these times -- why don't you let your wives in on the facts. They're not psychic.
You're in finance. Draw up a simple, short summary of your net income in '06, '07, and projected for '08. Add a statement of your net worth in '06, '07, and projected for '08. Be sure to include lowered value of real estate and lessened resale value of high-end cars. Don't get over-ambitious by putting in expenses, especially her expenses, but don't create future misunderstandings by failing to note that certain assets can't be converted into cash if there's an emergency. Make a hard copy. Ask for 30 minutes of her time. Sit down and go over it with her like you would with a client. Tell her you're concerned about the times and you want her to understand where you're coming from. Don't ask her for anything or criticize her. Give her the hard copy to keep because people often don't get bad news the first time through.
Don't be surprised if she reacts badly. Don't expect immediate change.
If things don't gradually improve in her spending behavior, you'll still be a better man for having tried the rational approach.
It's better to broach the subject now than wait for bonus time, because there's hope you can have a peaceful holiday with lessened expectations. If things turn out better than you projected, there's always time to celebrate later.
Posted by guest , Jul 13, 2008 3:55PM
@ 12:59
you're making a deadly assumption that these stupid whores can read. besides, you'll have to make them two scotch and sodas throughout the half hour presentation, after which all of that talk of money will make them want to hit up barneys before the buzz wears off.
-guest @ 6:04 pm 7/11
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2008 8:34AM
12.44 - "The British have complicated issues about moving up or down in class that makes their lives that much more neurotic."
Class has nothing to do with money. The aristocrat sits in a crumbling country house overrun by hounds; it's only the parvenus who'll buy the house and replace the hounds with a Cayenne Turbo. In short, class is a matter of nurture and nature, rather than current status. This is why Madonna is viewed as a complete joke.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2008 8:47AM
Completely agree with 8:34. We shall not let the lowless proletarian masses post on this forum.
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2008 8:49AM
Those plebes... What a nerve!
Posted by guest , Jul 14, 2008 11:55AM
Thanks chaps. Anyone for buggery?