UBS Suspends Trader For 'Poor Judgment'

Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 28, 2008, 10:31am

Damned if you do/damned if you don't UBS, under a bit of fire for both helping clients avoid paying taxes and hurting clients who it told auction-rate securities were a sweet ass deal, has suspended David Shulman, head of U.S. fixed income. The moratorium on Shulman being allowed to come into the office probably has something to do with Attorney General Andrew Cuomo's suit against the Swiss bank concerning the perpetration of "multi-billion dollar fraud" on its clients, though there've been whispers from IT about Shulman repeatedly violating the company's rules regarding "appropriate internet usage" (talkin' 'bout porn here). UBS stated that while it "does not believe that there was illegal conduct by any employee, we have found cases of poor judgment by certain individuals and are evaluating appropriate disciplinary measures," which in this case would be three months of self-gratification without a digital aid.

UBS Suspends Top Executive [WSJ]

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Tags: traders, ubs

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Jul 28, 2008 11:04AM

Sorry to be technical Bess but he was never a trader. He was an investment grade corp bond salesman that was promoted to this role.

2

Posted by guest, Jul 28, 2008 11:14AM

Your first line does not reach your usual level of grammatical excellence. Please make the needed changes.

3

Posted by guest, Jul 28, 2008 12:01PM

Was the poor judgement going UBS in the first place?

4

Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 28, 2008 12:13PM

@11:04- yeah, I got that wrong because I read the story first on DealBook, which called him a trader. My/ARS's bad.

@11:14--I disagree. Run on sentences are my thing and that behemoth of a line is definitely top three. But it's interactive day at Dealbreaker, so, let me know if this would be preferable. If not, write something yourself:

UBS has laid off David Shulman, head of the fixed income unit responsible for ass reaming a bunch of clients via auction rate securities, and getting the Swiss bank in trubs with Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. (Meanwhile, the team that oversaw Project Offshore Bank Account is being feted for a job well done tonight at the Times Square Hawaiian Tropic Zone. Senator Carl Levin will be making a special guest appearance, as a waitress.)

6

Posted by FUNdamental, Jul 28, 2008 12:31PM

@bess - I assumed that 1114 was going after the first sentence "damned if you damned if you don't ubs"

But the re-write was a lot better. I might just change "and getting the swiss bank in trubs with AG cuomo" to
And AG cuomo has all the $20's he needs to go client #9 on the swiss bank with their pants down

7

Posted by lemmerdeur, Jul 28, 2008 12:32PM

The tragedy of that first sentence only begins with its status as "run-on". The full impact can be classified as grammatical homicide. ;)

8

Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 28, 2008 12:35PM

lemmerdeur-- I'm sorry, I don't take editorial direction from people who use emoticons.

9

Posted by guest, Jul 28, 2008 1:33PM

Let's not be too snippy-- To preserve the genius of the opening sentence in grammatically correct form, try this: Damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't UBS, under...

XOXOXO
11:14

10

Posted by guest, Jul 28, 2008 1:37PM

@11:14/1:33-- so the idiots couldn't get it w/o the hyphens?

11

Posted by Bess Levin, Jul 28, 2008 2:00PM

Okay, everyone, after having a few minutes to cool off and have it gently pointed out to me that I was missing the word ‘do’ in the first line, which I hadn’t noticed, I’d like to come back and apologize for flipping out on some of you. While moving forward responses to editorial criticism from the peanut gallery will probably default to my usual “Go fuck yourselves,” in this particular instance, I’m sorry. L’emmerdeur, what I said to you still stands.

12

Posted by guest, Jul 28, 2008 3:51PM

Too long, didn't read.

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