$$$ The Upside Of Being Downsized [Portfolio]
$$$ Israel told the court he tried to commit suicide by swallowing pills two days ago. "I thought it was better to do myself in than to turn myself in."
"I ate the balance of my fentanyl patches because I thought it was better to do myself in than to turn myself in," Israel said. "I woke up battered and bruised and I realized God didn't want me to do that and I turned myself in."
When that attempt failed however, Israel said he thought God had wanted him to surrender. This and his mother's pleas, made him leave the campground where he had been hiding out in a mobile home and ride his blue scooter to the nearest police station in Southwick, Massachusetts, officials have said. [CNBC]
$$$ Why They Should String Samuel Israel Up On Wall Street With A Note Saying "Fraud Isn't Painless" [Timothy Sykes]
$$$ Newspapers [WallStrip]
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 1:21PM
Bessy, what ur up2 tonight?
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 1:27PM
Dropping loads all over Julie's face...aaaaaahhhhhh!
-Nick Manning
Posted by AJ , Jul 03, 2008 1:38PM
I'm confused by Tim's rant. Wasn't his hedge fund a fraud? Sure, it wasn't the scale of Israel's but it seemed pretty fake to me.
Tim will shortly reply with another rant about how the SEC oppresses the little guy and destroyed his fund...
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 03, 2008 1:43PM
Haven't read sykes post (if the last one was any indication it'd be a painful experience due to his writing style), but Israel is/was a scumbag, I mean he coulda made millions a year just putting all his funds in treasuries just off the management fees (and woulda squarely outperformed many funds), guy really is a schmuck (isreal, that is)
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 1:45PM
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't believe him.
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 1:57PM
Samuel Isreal III is a convicted criminal who ran a huge Ponzi scheme. He probably has complex psychological issues which drove him to do it, plus all of the other insane things he did. Riding a scooter to turn himself in after trying to overdose on fentanyl is just one more pathetic variation of his nuttiness. It's too bad he's such a screwball, but my sympathies are entirely with the people he conned.
Some people have to be segregated from society. Sam Israel is one of those people.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 03, 2008 1:59PM
If ya'll hadn't seen it yet, William Bennett of former Refco infamy sentenced to 16 years...best part of it, from his statements: ""Despite the best of intentions, I made an unacceptable and appalling error,"
Bennett said. "I crossed a line that should not have been crossed."
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 2:10PM
I'm so tired of reading stories about the silver lining of losing a job at Bear Stearns.
The guy Portfolio interviewed took a buy-out package at 62. He was in HR, for heaven's sake. He went on to join an on-going business, an executive placement firm. Big deal.
How about some stories about the people in their twenties, out of work and living in their ridiculously expensive rental apartments and riddled with college loans, with scant hope of finding jobs before their severance runs out?
Or some older support staffers who lost their savings and retirement packages?
Losing one's job in the Bear Stearns collapse did not lead in most cases to a long, glamorous vacation.
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 2:10PM
1pm write offs. love it.
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 2:20PM
How many years now have we been hearing about the death of newspapers? Maybe papers will die when we can effectively read the online news while riding in a crowded subway, or while taking a dump, or at the beach, etc. And don't give me that blackberry/handheld bullshit. The online news can't replace picking up The Times on a Sunday and lying on the couch for half the day.
Posted by TimothySykes , Jul 03, 2008 2:30PM
AJ are you fucken kidding me saying my fund was a fraud? Fuck you and the SEC--it was my fault for getting away from my core trading strategy, but in no way did I ever make up #s/falsify documents, rip investors off...in fact, most of my investors broke even, the rest are down 20% (you forget we had 2.5 solid years before the 35% drawodwn--and I do intend on making them whole...just wait
PS I love this fucken market, die cockroaches die, my traffic, sales and short selling strategy are all booming, love you incompetent fucks!
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 2:39PM
Timothy Sykes- you smell of poor self-esteem. Sound like a soar loser, too.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 03, 2008 2:54PM
Glad to hear you're doing well Tim, and that you're not bitter or spiteful or anything
Posted by AJ , Jul 03, 2008 2:59PM
Well, I can check "provoke Tim Sykes" off of my to-do list... now what else do I need to do before the weekend...
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 3:06PM
funny shit AJ
Posted by big r , Jul 03, 2008 3:06PM
i need a Rum Punch Revolution soon please
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 03, 2008 3:10PM
ugh no alcohol please (until tomorrow at least), god damn redbull vodkas leave you feeling like you went skiing all night, :-(
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 3:13PM
Y, but what was the connection to Pinnacle AM?
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 3:14PM
Y, but what was the connection to Pinnacle AM?
Posted by MuniShe , Jul 03, 2008 3:14PM
Need a good strong cocktail to feel better after a night like that...
Posted by big r , Jul 03, 2008 3:27PM
RPR isnt so much alcohol as it is now a way of life.
step up anal_yst. our founding fathers didnt risk life and limb for you to waste it away w a hangover.
Posted by big r , Jul 03, 2008 3:30PM
any notice that '2008 Bonus Payout' post comment counter is actually going down on the Most Commented as the actual number of comments go up? the post has >400 comments and the tally is now <200.
Posted by TimothySykes , Jul 03, 2008 3:41PM
Not angry or spiteful at all, just use idiot comments as fuel to my already supercharged determination fire...not gonna stop til all u lil bitches understand my strategy
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 03, 2008 3:55PM
Power to ya tim, nothing speaks like success, honestly i'd much rather you let your success speak for itself, but do what ya gotta do brosepher
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 4:12PM
Kevin Davis at MF Global heading to jail for this it seems
Posted by mrpink , Jul 03, 2008 4:55PM
Uhoh
*FED PARES ESTIMATED VALUE OF BEAR STEARNS ASSETS TO $28.9 BLN
*FED ESTIMATE OF BEAR PORTFOLIO DOWN FROM $30 BLN IN MARCH
By Scott Lanman
July 3 (Bloomberg) -- The Federal Reserve said the portfolio
of Bear Stearns Cos. assets it accepted as part of the firm's
takeover by JPMorgan Chase & Co. is now worth $28.9 billion, down
from the $30 billion estimated in March.
The central bank cut the ``fair value'' of the assets as of
June 26, the Fed said today in Washington. The Fed loaned $28.8
billion last week to a company it formed to purchase the
investments, which as of mid-March included debt backed by
mortgages and other items JPMorgan deemed too risky to take on.
The Fed gave the fair-value estimate of Maiden Lane LLC's
holdings as part of its weekly report on its balance sheet today.
The central bank will provide quarterly updates on the
portfolio's value. Maiden Lane is being counted on the balance
sheet of the New York Fed, and was named after a Manhattan street
that borders the bank.
JPMorgan is absorbing the first $1.15 billion of any losses
realized on the holdings.
Separately in today's report, the Fed said direct loans
to securities firms slid in the past week while discount-window
borrowing by commercial banks rose.
The Fed's loans to Wall Street bond dealers dropped by
$4.4 billion to a daily average of $1.7 billion in the week
ended July 2. Funds provided through the so-called discount
window for commercial banks rose by $159 million to a daily
average of $14.9 billion.
For related news:
Stories on the Fed: NI FED
Top finance stories: TOP FIN
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 5:05PM
Pinnacle re Kellman ripoff
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 5:59PM
To be fair, -3.7% in Maiden Lane LLC is probably substantially better than the S&P or your favorite Master of the Universe did over that same time period.
Posted by diablo , Jul 03, 2008 6:27PM
Put Maiden Lane's junk in the open market and see what you get.
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 6:34PM
Isn't Maiden Lane way downtown? Bear Stearns was on Madison in midtown.
Posted by guest , Jul 03, 2008 8:12PM
FYI, Julie, you might not have heard but Rush Limbaugh just got a $400M contract and six-figure sign-on bonus, so terrestrial radio isn't exactly HURTING! Howard Stern also had a $500M contact for a similar time-frame, so I suspect you would do well to look at that industry before writing it off so soon.
Posted by Anonymous , Jul 03, 2008 8:37PM
Maiden Lane is adjacent to the NY Fed, I believe.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 03, 2008 8:52PM
@ 6:34
Did you read the article bro?
"Maiden Lane is being counted on the balance sheet of the New York Fed, and was named after a Manhattan street that borders the bank."
libbalaa timmmayyy
Posted by guest , Jul 04, 2008 12:39AM
NEW CONTEST IDEA:
This is a 3 day contest. For 3 days, the participant (intern) can only eat mayo. Only mayo. At the end of the 3 days, if successful, he/she gets a cash reward. If he/she throws up, some increment of the cash reward is deducted per throw up. Only liquid allowed: water, and only if the water is mixed with mayo.
Posted by NSD , Jul 04, 2008 3:55AM
Granted, I'm hammered like MC right now, but i'd like to take the opportunity to wish all the regulars a merry 4th.
Carney - sure, it aint the big leagues like your brother, but keep on fighting the good fight.
Bess - your rapier whit keeps us all drooling. please dont run off with Preston from the Vineyard this weekend. given my own experience, i know extended time in tortola can be enticing, but please dont trade us in for jersey trash.
Anal_yst - where would we all be without you cutting insight? I love 1-2 knockout, but I still cant figure out how you have so much time to post. I'm on the sidelines and cant produce the same volume as you do. God bless you.
Mr. P. - sure, its Chicago, but I know that there is some quality bears at U-Chicago just looking for some fresh east coast meat.
Girl - where have you been lately? I've missed your leftist leanings disguised as centrist pandering.
Blndbnrk - sure, A-rod may have a great ass but if he's sharing it with a hag like Madonna, there is no hope for the rest of you.
Timmay! - as much as it pains me to say, you've got spunk and that has to be admired.
TGFD - Please don't ever come back.
TOGFD - go fuck yourself.
Interns - I know its a delicate balance walking the line between sarcasm and journalistic integrity, but please realize that everyone in this industry takes themselves way too seriously. The bottom line is that 50% of people are below average, and the majority are only marginally better, so feel free to fire away at will.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Patron bottle to climb back into.
Posted by NSD , Jul 04, 2008 3:56AM
Granted, I'm hammered like MC right now, but i'd like to take the opportunity to wish all the regulars a merry 4th.
Carney - sure, it aint the big leagues like your brother, but keep on fighting the good fight.
Bess - your rapier whit keeps us all drooling. please dont run off with Preston from the Vineyard this weekend. given my own experience, i know extended time in tortola can be enticing, but please dont trade us in for jersey trash.
Anal_yst - where would we all be without you cutting insight? I love 1-2 knockout, but I still cant figure out how you have so much time to post. I'm on the sidelines and cant produce the same volume as you do. God bless you.
Mr. P. - sure, its Chicago, but I know that there is some quality bears at U-Chicago just looking for some fresh east coast meat.
Girl - where have you been lately? I've missed your leftist leanings disguised as centrist pandering.
Blndbnrk - sure, A-rod may have a great ass but if he's sharing it with a hag like Madonna, there is no hope for the rest of you.
Timmay! - as much as it pains me to say, you've got spunk and that has to be admired.
TGFD - Please don't ever come back.
TOGFD - go fuck yourself.
Interns - I know its a delicate balance walking the line between sarcasm and journalistic integrity, but please realize that everyone in this industry takes themselves way too seriously. The bottom line is that 50% of people are below average, and the majority are only marginally better, so feel free to fire away at will.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Patron bottle to climb back into.
Posted by guest , Jul 04, 2008 6:41PM
God I want to fuck her
Posted by guest , Jul 05, 2008 1:44PM
NSD = asswipe.
T_ _ _ D (Stealth Mode.)
Posted by mrpink , Jul 06, 2008 4:19PM
ROFL NSD
Thanks man... I'm nursing a hangover on this lovely Sunday myself, but I got about 40 beers still in the fridge (and a jar of mayo) with my name on it. Yee haw!
-mrp
Posted by Anal_yst , Jul 06, 2008 9:53PM
Thanks NSD, lets just say that unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the definition of the word you're using), I've been doing more "writing" than I have Anal_yzing the past few months...trying to make moves (in this great job market, yea real smart anal) so I'm not necessarily as dedicated to my present gig as I could be, meh