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Sep 15, 2009, 2:22pm
Technical Difficulties Prevented Warren Buffett From Saving Lehman Brothers
I sense some judgment from the Bloomberg reporter here re:...
More »Sep 15, 2009, 2:00pm
People! THIS TYPE OF PERFORMANCE DOES NOT MAKE PTJ WANT TO RAIN BUCKETS O' CHICKEN ON YOUR ASSES!
Tudor BVI Global: August 2009: 0.5% YTD: 12.5% ...as for...
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Sep 09, 2009, 11:27am
Goldman Partner's Neighbors Scandalized By Shirt Optional Parties
Goldman Sachs partner managing director Richard Kimball Jr. apparently got...
More »Sep 09, 2009, 10:15am
Job Openings At AQR! (UPDATE)
Ladies, if you've been looking to work under one of...
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Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:21AM
Larry Ellison admitted smoking had aged his body dramatically in recent years
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:28AM
"How did this picture of me get posted at 10:30 when its only 10:28?"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:28AM
Watch out for the medallion my diamonds are wreckless...Feels like a MIDGET is hanging from my neckless...
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:31AM
Joan Rivers in a world without plastic surgery.
-Nominate me
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:33AM
I got mind control over Dibo. When he here, I be quiet. When he leave, oh I be talking again.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:36AM
"So, I was reading that article on Horatio Al... no, nevermind. It was too long, didn't read." *puff* *puff*
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:37AM
"I could tell you how I made my billions ... but then I'd have to kill you ..."
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:38AM
"bling bling...everytime i come around your city bling bling"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:41AM
Oh man, that was a great time.
Was it good for you Mr. Bernacke?
Anyways, this is a little awkward, I have a meeting in Jackson Hole tommorow morning, so, I think you should leave. I'll call you though. Next time I'm in town....
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:41AM
I normally smoke Swisher Sweet blunts, but they make me look like a cheap tramp.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:44AM
So I puff a fag every now and then, what's the big deal.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:45AM
Don't you EVER ask me about my business.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:47AM
what are auction rate securities?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:50AM
Oh, the fuckin color trails...
Posted by Joseph di Jersey City , Aug 08, 2008 10:54AM
Once I break $10BN I can get some decent window treatments, or at least have the smoke cleaned off the blinds.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:56AM
"That was one hell of a blowjob!"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 10:58AM
12: nicely done.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:00AM
wait....so where am I supposed to stick it?
Posted by FUNdamental , Aug 08, 2008 11:03AM
putt-putt-putt from the rough?!?!?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:05AM
"You know I'm gay, right?"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:05AM
I'd like to pay you $5mm for your lungs. Cash. Deal?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:06AM
Who the hell is that?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:06AM
Zut alors, I no longer work for SocGen
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aOuRR1A6ybCs&refer=home
Posted by sales rep , Aug 08, 2008 11:07AM
In 1976, I won the American Mathematical Society's Oswald Veblen Prize in Geometry, for work that involved a recasting of the subject of area minimizing multi-dimensional surfaces and characteristic forms. This resulted in my proof of the Bernstein conjecture up to real dimension 8, and an improvement of a certain "regularity" result of Wendell H. Fleming on a generalized Plateau's problem.
So, I got that going for me, which is nice...
Posted by bank_teller , Aug 08, 2008 11:08AM
Look Kermit, I'm the one who created *you*, so I get to stick my hand up *your* butt. That's just the way it works in show business.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:10AM
Show me your black box, I'll show you mine...
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:12AM
i charge 2x the fees of the industry standard, and i am posting amazing returns while my peers lag.
i could care less about dealbreaker
bitches
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:15AM
I'll give you "volatility smile, you hack-its backtest time-bend over
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:18AM
Son, if you were a stock, I'd short you... *puff, puff*
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:19AM
So I've been thinking...
Just how much is enough?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:20AM
Does this fag make me look faggy?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:22AM
At my age, the only thing I can go long is a stock...
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:23AM
Is that teacher from "Head of the Class"??? I loved that show.
Check this out
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0381606/
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:25AM
Yeah, my top holding is UST-I dont drink wine either-whats your point?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:25AM
McLovin?
What kind of a stupid name is that?
What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:27AM
Short Phillip Morris. Long Metamucil. Got it?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:31AM
Ok, so I really *am* both TGFD and TOGFD. Sue me.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:33AM
boy you really can't tell this is a one hitter, can you?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:37AM
Dead man inhaling.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:39AM
Bond. James Bond.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:39AM
Then I says to James Coburn, yeah well I wanna fuck Angie Dickinson, and that ain't gonna happen either. Who do you think you are, some kinda jowly Jason Robards type? That's when he took a swing at me.
I'll tell ya what, I hope dinner theater in Peoria works out for ya, cause you won't be havin' lunch in this town for a looong time.
Then his Agent tried to give me a blow job and I kicked both of their wrinkly booth-tanned, botoxed asses outta here. Who has time for this?
Cornelia! Where's my Metamucil shake dammit?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:44AM
Our trading algorithms have hedged our exposure to lung cancer, too.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 11:58AM
Elementary, my dear Watson, Elementary.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:01PM
hi. If i want to see the winner of caption contest last week (i think it should have been me you ass fuckers), where can i go? does these dumb ass contests have winners? let me know.
here is my caption contest solution this week:
"does this punk ass reporter interviewing me know how much money i have? I'll stick this cigarret so far up his gay little ass that he'll blow smoke. he he he, motha fuckaa"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:04PM
"Most people have this image in their heads of [finance] executives jet-setting around the world on private planes, eating foie gras as they count their money. Not me. I like to ride with the people. Know your clients. My people cram themselves into a tiny seat, pop a Xanex, and dream of the moment when they can stuff their face with fresh tobacco. If I can convince just one of these kids to [give another million to my fund] , I've paid for my flight. Round trip!"
- Thank You For Smoking [as edited]
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:04PM
Joint Hypothesis problem? Yeah, I've got your Joint Hypohesis problem right here!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:06PM
Joint Hypothesis Problem? Yeah, I've got your Joint Hypothesis Problem right here!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:09PM
Black? Scholes? Merton? Amatuers. Fucking Amatuers!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:11PM
Alright - here's the secret to my trading algorithms: E = MC2. hahaha
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:22PM
Yeah right, recession, next thing you'll be telling me is smoking causes cancer.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:33PM
"Jeffy was right about those massages"
Posted by Tapecracker , Aug 08, 2008 12:33PM
"You know what? F%#k it, I'm lighting up right here... but maybe I should hold it up closer to the air vent so nobody can smell it... these Cloves are the shiznit!"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:37PM
"I'm Ritch biotch!"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:46PM
How 'bout you side burns? You want some milk?
I'd rather have a beer!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:55PM
"Yeah, I do take 40%. So, what the fuck you going to do about it?"
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 12:56PM
he takes 45%, genius.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:01PM
"...hum...only if could have one of those quants with just a high school degree who work at Merrill Lynch!!"
Posted by EricM , Aug 08, 2008 1:06PM
If I had met you forty years ago, you would have been my number one lady.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:13PM
http://www.mclovinidmaker.com/index.php?x=-1&y=-1&width=-1&height=-1&image=/images/200808081201jimsimonslightsup1.jpg.jpg
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:13PM
To 57
Yeah, I just got a High school degree and work for Merrill as a quant. Do you have problem with it?! I am not even a full time employee. How about that?!
I have my calculator handy..
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:16PM
You mean you did not take Alchemy 101?
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:19PM
"quant + high school + Merrill lynch"
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4RNWN_enUS253US253&q=quant+%2b+high+school+%2b+merrill+lynch
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:26PM
A tan like this takes dedication, Steve. Seriously.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:32PM
Very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 1:51PM
"Can't we discuss this like grown men, Mr. Poopy-Pants"?
~Lt. Frank Drebin
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 2:11PM
I'm Rick James...Simons....bitch!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 2:27PM
My returns are smokin hot!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 2:39PM
i banged your mom
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 2:50PM
Hey - that coffee isn't gonna make itself, sunshine. Chop chop.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 2:50PM
64: Come up with an original thought fuckwad.
B.W.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 3:03PM
So... I was talking to the Other Guy from Delaware this morning. Bitches...this dude really has it nailed!
PS: @ 37 - Blow me!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 4:13PM
i could use a smooth thai boy right about now
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 4:17PM
It's tobacco! Do I look like Jimmy F'n Cayne!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by chad , Aug 08, 2008 4:30PM
I'm packed and I'm holding,
I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden and
she lives for me, She says she lives for me,
Ovation, She's got her own motivation,
she comes round and she goes down on me,
And I make her smile, It's like a drug for you,
Do ever what you want to do,
Coming over you,
Keep on smiling,
what we go through.
One stop to the rhythm that divides you,
And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse,
Chop another line like a coda with a curse,
And I come on like a freak show takes the stage.
We give them the games we play, she said,
I want something else, to get me through this,
Semi-charmed kind of life,
I want something else,
I'm not listening when you say, Good-bye.
The sky it was gold, it was rose,
I was taking sips of it through my nose,
And I wish I could get back there,
Some place back there,
Smiling in the pictures you would take,
Doing crystal myth,
Will lift you up until you break,
It won't stop,
I won't come down, I keep stock,
With a tick tock rhythm and a bump for the drop,
And then I bumped up. I took the hit I was given,
Then I bumped again,
And then I bumped again.
How do I get back there to,
The place where I fell asleep inside you?
How do I get myself back to,
The place where you said,
I want something else to get me through this,
semi-charmed kind of life,
I want something else,
I'm not listening when you say, good-bye,
Posted by Evaluator Speculator , Aug 08, 2008 4:43PM
Reporter: So, what do you think about Ben printing money to solve our liquidity situation?
Jim: Ben doesn't print money. I do.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 4:52PM
I decided to give a hand to all the mofos which say they know how to manage risk at ML, MS etc.
They are supposed to be studied people but honestly they are a bunch of idiots
They call themselves head quants but do not have idea what they are doing.
More stupid the institutios that keep them since they become parasits in the long term.
I do not undertand people that attend their conferences and buy their books "life as quant" or related bullshit.
Do not go with the stream, think different!!!
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 6:10PM
Jim Simons does his best Ayn Rand imitation.
Posted by Finnegan , Aug 08, 2008 6:17PM
"This interviewer has no idea where Setauket is. Piece of work. But I would still hit it," he thinks between drags.
Posted by guest , Aug 08, 2008 6:27PM
I can't feel my face
Posted by guest , Aug 09, 2008 4:31PM
You do know that I will have to kill you now that you mentioned the institutional equities fund?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 3:01AM
That clown from Mens Warehouse ain't got shit on my Manly Medallion.
Seriously, has the tip box dried up to a point DB needs to ripoff SA every Friday ?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:25AM
"Because I didn't fucking feel like wearing pants."
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 10:01AM
So who the fuck are you? My wife's attorney?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 10:10AM
"So then I sez to the Monsignor, why not the little piece right behind the scrotum? And he laughs, 'well, if you can find an electrode small enough,' and that's when the tape cut out.
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 8:35PM
Comments 80, 84, 75/82 in that order.
Posted by guest , Aug 12, 2008 9:42AM
25, 58, 84 - Winners
Posted by guest , Aug 13, 2008 11:59AM
Happiness is a warm gun
Posted by guest , Aug 14, 2008 12:34PM
"Nevermind the billion plus I make yearly... Im really quite a simple person, see this watch? its fake, I swear"