Dealbreaker commenter 1-2 has been fired from his job at a gilded bulge bracket, for his side gig as the proprietor of the 1-2 Knockout blog. Unsolicited advice to all: call in sick, and don’t give them a reason to fire you.
Related: Citi To Return To Profitability One Fired Blogger At A Time
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I saw Vince Offer, the shamwow guy on the unemployment line.
I feel bad for 1-2 and hope he finds a new job soon, but seriously – given the nature of the business, why would anyone give their employer a reason to fire them? Blogging about your industry or company is asking for trouble, and at a time when banks are looking to cut people, blogging about banks could easily be the tipping point.
Tough break, 1-2, I hope you bounce back.
How do we know this?
Dead Horse
Hindsight, she’s a beyotch.
The idea was that writing under a pseudonym, without identifying one’s employer, speaking (especially negatively) about one’s employer, not using the blog to generate any income, etc, etc were precautions hoped to avoid such an outcome. Apparently the instructions to HR are to be vigilant and use every clause of the employment agreement to get rid of whoever we can, regardless of the value they bring to the firm…
I’d expect that db’ll have another post about me sometime in the near future, sigh…
I have an opening for a sugar daddy, if he’s interested.
And where in the hell has he been lately? Not on db, obviously.
@3– because 1-2 is friends with DB and likely told them about it?
– Forehead Slapper 2
@ Anal_yst – The sugar daddy job opening applies to you as well, if you ever happen to need it.
Life’s a bitch and then you marry one.
So sorry kiddo.
Lucky enough for you, I have an opening in my chippendales school for exotic dancing. You can make loads in tips, think about it and get back to me, k.
@7 – Go on…
@ 7
Ironically I’m currently (quite hastily now) looking for a sugamama
So, where was 1-2 working? I bet it’s no longer a secret, is it?
Be careful asking a guy named Anal_yst to be your sugar daddy.
Just sayin’
Anal_yst – sorry to hear about your job. I always like reading your comments the best. Good luck!
I bet “Large” would say, “I regret that I have but one job to give up for my beliefs.”
@ onetwo (#7, here) – Does that mean you’ll be spending a lot more time on here?
Fortunately (or unfortunately), I’m not really the gold digger type. But, a daily requirement would be for you to dazzle me with your wit.
So, there are no set guidelines for the whole sugar daddy position.
6 That was what I surmised, yet DB provided no gory details re the termination. What’s with that?
@16– guessing BECAUSE they’re friends with him they’re probably honoring a request to keep the details out, which he also likely had to agree to keep confidential with his former employer
Sham- Wow nice commenting #1 keep up the good work mr.Offer!!
I heard the Mayo guy was unemployed.
13 “I always like reading your comments the best” “sorry to hear about your job” (its 1-2’s job, doofus) Plus that rant the other day about Ted Kennedy.
DS = certified loser
and all this time hookers and blow was going off at 2-1 for just cause.
So much for America the free and promotion of independant thought.
Out of order? Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? I’ve been around ya know? There was a tIme I could see and I have seen. Boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off but there is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit. There is no prosthetic for that. You think you’re merely sending this splendid foot soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say you are….executing his soul!! And why. Because he’s not a Baird man. You hurt this boy and you’ll be Baird bums. The lot of ya. And…harry, jimmy, Trent ……FUCK YOU TOO.
@17 – you’re my new favorite.
@all – opening bets on someone saying “I don’t believe it until i see the memo” before the day is through. Email me with your guess of what commenter other than yourself says it (by number–bess can tell by your IP if you made the bet AND then said “I don’t believe…”).
Logged in commenters only.
girl,
congrats on your nation hosting such a fabulous olympiad.
top notch!
If 1-2 and Anal_yst are in need of “sugarmommas”, they might consider looking for real, not-so-cougarish, older chicks on the UES. You know, the silver ones, with money, with nice legs. You two probably know where they are. Behave yourselves, be sincere, don’t be an embarassment to them, and you may “get well”. It’s not difficult; a lot of the technique involves yor eyes and, believe it or not, your lips.
If you two are reasonably attractive, new ‘positions’ may be close-at-hand.
The Guy from Delaware
F#ck that. Everytime I hear about BS firings like that, Wall Street turns me off even more. Screw that soul crushing sh!t, I’ll stay with my regional trading gig in BFE before having some overhead/HR can me for that kind of thing.
My condolences to 1-2 and best of luck to you.
-Nom me
these times remind me of a the words a special man once sang:
Imagine smoking weed in the streets without cops harassin
Imagine going to court with no trial
Lifestyle cruising blue behind my waters
No welfare supporters more conscious of the way we raise our daughters
Days are shorter, nights are colder
Feeling like life is over, these snakes strike like a cobra
The world’s hot my son got not evidently
It’s elementary, they want us all gone eventually
Trooping out of state for a plate knowledge
of coke was cooked without the garbage we’d all have the top dollars
Imagine everybody flashin, fashion
Designer clothes, lacing your click up with diamond vogues
Your people holdin dough, no parole
No rubbers, go in raw imagine law with no undercovers
Just some thoughts for the mind
I take a glimpse into time
watch the blimp read “The World Is Mine”
@ tgfd – I thought if you wound up as a boy toy, one of the positions you could avoid was “close at HAND”
Anal_yst,
I know it’s easy to look back and second guess, but given the way things are going, playing it as safe as possible was always the best way to play. When HR is looking for ANY reason to put a name on the kill list, why give them one?
As much fun as the blog is (was?), was having it worth the risk of losing a job?
I know I’m piling on and I’m sorry, just wanted to add that. 1-2, I hope you find a new job soon (at Dealbreaker?) and that you bounce back.
The Chippendales gig sounds like the opportunitiy of a life time!
So, so sorry to hear about this though. Good luck!
@ 23
WTF are you talking about?
@DS
it was 1-2, not myself (…yet), but thanks anyway
I hate to be the one to point this out, but if firms are going to be vigilant on this front, whats the next step, whats the endgame? If they were so inclined, it wouldn’t be difficult to simply find everyone who commented on or even read DB (or any other site for that matter), all of whom could likely suffer the same fate as 1-2 and Large…
I saw Creepa (on From G’s to Gents) on the unemployment line.
@anal_yst- I feel for you but be honest with yourself. There is HUGE difference between READING a site like dealbreaker that gossips about the industry and WRITING a site like that, esp if you, the author, work in the industry.
1-2 that sucks. Very sorry to hear,especially since you guys were being so careful. Are people getting bounced for sending personal emails now too?
This is really, really stupid – we give nearly all of our waking hours and then they fire people for technical violations. If your work is hampered, then by all means, fire away. But if you can only tell someone’s doing a fully respectable side blog thanks to IT snooping… Yet another reason why we can all hate HR.
Look. We always knew we were playing with fire. We never indulged ourselves with delusions of being “too good to be caught” or anything. But, to be honest, i needed the outlet. I took every precaution to never disparage anyone around my firm or release any proprietary information. In the end it was still poor judgement, and I messed up, but that’s life. I loved my firm–if not my exact position–and I do not wish ill will towards anyone there for what happened. Obviously I wish things had gone differently, but they didnt. So I move on. I’ll land on my feet faster than anyone expects–I always do.
It is also hard for me to speak negatively about what happened as I am an ardent supporter of work at will, not right to work. My firm could have fired me for not liking my face (although it is pleasant to look at), and it wouldn’t change my feelings on the issue.
Trust me. Big things are on the way.
That said, I thank you all for your support. Whether humorous or serious it certainly helped make today be a little more pleasant.
@ 23
I know you have a sick asian fetish, but I’m not, so kindly go to hell.
Anal_yst,
I would suggest using a proxy server. There are tons of them that Google will point you to. Popular additional search terms would be Facebook or MySpace. They will eventually be blocked as well (some may be already), but it at least leaves no trail directly between DB to you. As long as people want to use those two sites while at work, there will always be a battle between IT and end users in which some proxy servers will remain unblocked.
girl, you sure youre not oriental?
As with 1-2, appreciate the suggestions/opinions, worst case I’ll just move to guatemala or something, no biggie
girl is 100% WASP
“I took every precaution to never disparage anyone around my firm or release any proprietary information. ”
And yet, the outcome was still the same. I’m so sorry.
I remember seeing Monica Lewinsky the first time on TV, and thinking “for all the trouble Bill got into, he should have at least had supermodel-of-the-day on his desk 5 ways”.
1-2, out of curiosity, if you were not writing about the firm or disparaging anyone, what grounds did they have for dismissal?
#40 here again: I mean, if you were writing a blog about cooking or antique cars, would they still fire you? so I guess question is: is it having a sideline, or is it WHAT you were writing about?
I’m not sure I’m following everything. Onetwo got fired for writing his own blog? I’m so very sorry to hear it!
But you’re right, onetwo, big things are coming for you!
Anal_yst is looking for someone to watch over him and may go live in Guatemala, but has not been fired? I don’t get the source of trouble for Anal_yst.
Warmest wishes to both of you and thank you both for your many contributions to DB. May they keep coming!
BulgingBracket@#33…
Do I sense a little fear in your normally-grandiose tone today? Having thoughts about those expensive ties and shirts, are we? You know, the ties that “cost more than TGFD’s suits”? Such swagger you had just 2 days ago.
Clown…I hope you comprehend that your “Bulge” firm doesn’t need you. They could fire you arrogant ass this afternoon and never, never miss even one beat.
So much for your “BulgingBracket” nonsense. BTW, that photo you had on your DB profile? It looks like some dickhead posed for it. Was that you?
The Guy from Delaware
@ 40 /41 Firms are looking for a reason where “reason” means a reason to push an employee into a sub optimal severence settlement.
reason = stick
crappy severence = small, old carrot
just spoke to 1-2, he’s a good egg and it sounds like they were conspiring to get him (after only 5 months on the job). he’s going to make out just fine, this is just a slight speed bump in his road to success. keep your head up bro.
nonetheless, that fking blows! I think we need to go down to you know where and tell you know who where to stick it.
@39 – girl is not 100% WASP and @23 she isn’t asian. leave her alone so she can study for the gmat!
amazing, actually not.
another reason to keep shorting the banks.
let’s be real, wall street is a fucking disaster, instead of promoting a culture of transparency, freedom of expression, authentic communication, and all that, the banks continue to regress into HR/ Compliance hell.
fuck “being careful”, not that long ago, when i started, there still was an element of swash-buckling, fuck-all-ness to the biz, like produce, and you could pull your pants down on the floor.
don’t know why anyone would want in here, anymore, and all you all thinking of an MBA, fuck that too, take that money, go abroad to a capitalist country like china or india, where you can live like a king.
good luck 1-2, you’re better than your bank.
-retail
So sorry to hear about it, 1-2!! That is ridiculously lame. However you have an awesome attitude so I agree you will be better than fine.
If you should so happen to have a position available wherever you end up, let me know. I’d like to be better than fine, too. Sooner rather than later!
Sad to hear about this.
Can we move on to something cheery, like french cuffs versus barrel cuffs. Or whether UES or Meatpacking has a has a higher dbag per capita.
Hear Hear , cluzo!
Ok here’s a conundrum for you G & T, you know when you’re in a meeting and the person who’s talking keeps talking and talking and you are focusing on them but then all of a sudden they seem like they are really far away and you can’t get your eyes to refocus? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN.
GNT–meatpacking is the douche captial of NYC
Been busy lately, not much time to write.
My visit to 1-2 earlier was not my best work. I let emotions interfere. I’ll recover though.
1-2, I wish you the best.
The Hatchet Man
@42
I’m always looking for a sugarmama, so thats nothing new. Second, the reason I’m a bit uneasy is because of the precedent which has apparently been set with Large and 1-2, things likely do not bode too well for me either.
Girl, beides not doing enough blow before the meeting, the problem is that you’re trying to pay attention. The key to paying attention is not paying attention. When one side of your head says that “I want to know WTF is going on in the room” but the other side says “I need a drink and/or smoke,” your mind goes out of focus. So I recommend drinking before the meeting, or doodling (half the senior bankers I work with do it).
Meetings = BORRR-RING.
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3833804
1-2 and his plight picked up by Fark. Now the unwashed are chiming in.
anyone who wants to meet for a drink or two this evening hit me up. I’m starting happy hour off early.
email is on my site and my profile here.
1-2 will give you a call. I have a 6:30 am meeting tomorrow (who does that? wtf!) so I won’t be able to hang late night, but up for 2 or 3.
@girl – you gonna’ show some luv and support our boy?
@blndebnker – when are you going to show your face? girl has said good things about you…
pick a place – this sounds like it could be fun.
clutz – everyone knows you only have to PHYSICALLY be in tomorrow, my lobes are checking out tonight and not returning till tues.
does ‘gilded’ = goldman?
onetwo: I’ve got a couple of things going on tonight but I’d love to meet up at some point. Drop me a line. (I don’t have your number anymore because my last phone was destroyed.)
merrill?
merrill?
merrill?
“I’ll land on my feet faster than anyone expects–I always do.”
if you were that arrogant around the office no wonder they canned you.
merrill?
@Cluzo – I know! I’ve been a total DB slacker lately. Busy, go figure. I am due to show up one of these days, I promise. Girl said good things like what?
think equity?
@64– yeah…
64 Come on, its confidence, not arrogance. And totally the way you should be thinking when you’ve been shown the door. Or when you want to close, or be promoted.. I see that I take my eyes off things for 36 yrs and they turn to s**t. Best to you 1-2 GAnalYst
Unwashed@#55…
I would think that a person who uses the term “the unwashed” to describe others is in need of a humbling experience.
Only in your imagination are you immune to 1-2’s fate.
The Guy from Delaware
http://www.observer.com/2008/arts-culture/bankers-go-bonkers
So my best bet is to take up doodling?
EricM informs me that I either have mild epilepsy or am coming down from a “cannabis” high, given that its not the latter, I’m downright scared.
@ cluzo, can’t tonight. have fun though guys.
@64 – I’m guessing nobody likes you
http://www.observer.com/2008/arts-culture/bankers-go-bonkers
NumbSkull@#72,#75…
Why are you posting and re-posting that Observer article from earlier this week? DB already did a feature on it.
Nothing going on at work?
The Guy from Delaware
girl:
Try large amounts of coffee
@girl – you’re fine. That happens to me a lot during meetings. It’s caused by extreme boredom. Don’t drink coffee though. Caffeine is the devil.
@ham-bone: unfortunately, I’m well past my analyst years and do not have the good fortune to be able to sit at the far end of the conference room table and nod-off between bites of day old fruit or stale donuts…I need to actually be alert and speak. in the immortal words of “guest”: “I don’t make money, I print it!” lol.
Agree with blnde. It’s called boredome, and it happens every now and then in finance
Many sorrynesses, 1-2. I wish you the best, and the same to your partner in crime, Anal_yst.
Down with all Managing Directors!! (Oops. That’s me. Oh well.)
TED
@ girl – that’s why we have blackberry/iPhones to keep us entertained in shit-tastic meetings. Ideally someone else in the meeting has your address so some present third party can be the object of mutual entertainment. Or just read db
I don’t think you guys understand the gravity of the sitcho- it was a one on one, and the guy kept shrinking, and I was tripping out because I thought he could tell somehow that to me he was receding further into the skyline. It was like the height of glassy eyed awkwardness.
I appreciate your helpful sugegstions though, I really do.
@girl – Okay that is really strange. Not to be an alarmist, but you might want to get that checked out if you felt dizzy or light-headed or something.
@ girl – this explains a lot.
Possibly you have some sort of ability to distort reality. I had heard Steve Jobs is dead; they’ll need someone with (a) an RDF and (b) the ability to pull off a black turtleneck.
@onetwo – Sorry about the bad break. Hang in there and all will turn out well.
I’m willing to entertain the notion that I have superpowers, yes.
@ girl – did you do the vending machine challenge before the meeting? Spend the afternoon with big jimmy?
Otherwise I think you took the blue pill and we’re all in the matrix.
@ girl – did you do the vending machine challenge before the meeting? Spend the afternoon with big jimmy?
Otherwise I think you took the blue pill and we’re all in the matrix.
That’s kind of a fun idea. Makes me sad that I don’t really have any superpowers though.
@ Fun
God I hope we’re in the matrix, at least then I have hope of one day utilizing my as-yet un(der)utilized powers to beat the system!
@girl — this used to happen to me sometimes during my more boring job interviews. i could never tell if my face was showing my fascination with their brilliant conversation or if i was going “full retard”. i did ultimately find employment though, but that could just have been out of pity.
onetwo — again, sorry. Anal_yst — you can always worry tomorrow. Girl — good luck. TGFD — stfu.
onetwo- sorry to hear – love your comments – between you and the usual suspects it made me love the job!!
@trade_assistant– uh, he’s still allowed to comment on DB, just not allowed to do his job.
1-2 sucks. Sorry to hear that.
Any chance you’ll give us a blow-by-blow of what went down?
Keep ya head up.