Good news and bad news. The good news: it’s time to start talkin’ bonuses again. It’s been a while, so this feels great. The bad news: a gaggle of Goldman Sachs employees in Equity and Equity Derivatives will not be purchasing those second homes they’ve had their eyes on this year. We’re told GS is guiding comp down by about thirty percent, which probably means the great performers will be flat and the bottom third– the least Sachy of the bunch– will get hit by forty percent or so. While our default is to get irate about this sort of stuff, relative to the non-existent bonuses that’ll likely be dolled out by the other banks, it’s really not that big a deal.
Kind of a big D however, is that Goldman Sachs IS GOING UNDER, and we’re only slightly exaggerating. According to the bearer of bad bonus news, “they are having a terrible year and the past month has seen business in many divisions– Eq and ED especially– grind to a halt. While that typically happens in August, I know for a fact that other dealers have not seen that dramatic of a drop off.”
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o how the mighty have fallen.
second
pick your chins up, kids — this rumor is totally false. (although the monger with the tip may be in a group that is in the shitter.)
@3- since the rumor is that a group or groups are in the shitter, wouldn’t your statement “”although the monger with the tip may be in a group that is in the shitter” make it true?
Blasphemy.
3 basically just said: the rumor that some gs divisions are in the shitter is totally false, although I acknowledge that it probably originates from someone whose group is in fact…in the shitter.
@3- why would the monger want to make up negative rumors about his own group?
Is it true that in lieu of cash bonuses everyone is being paid in Funyuns?
While I doubt GS is in any kind of trouble, especially relative to other BBs lately, I wish they were. They’re a bunch of vultures and jackals lately.
Eat it GS. Damn it feels good to be on buyside.
GS’s stockprice has seen almost no negative effects relative to other BB firms. It would seem logical to me that no BB completely avoided “eating the forbiden fruit” of these mortgage securities, so why, when you see 50% (min.) drop in stock price on a majority of the large i-banks has GS only seen their price trading down about 10%?
I heard GS bonus this year will be a hearty handshake and a king size jar of Mayo.
@10: 10% down from what? They are ~40% off the 52 wk high.
I feel bad for all those poor little first year ivy’s who have only worked a couple months since graduation. Must be tough having to cut back on bottle service and luxury goods..
@10 Clearly you need to re-watch the “Value Stock Tips” video feature on GS
a lot people i know are short GS.
they are one fat target, puts please.
they need to call Thain and Paulson back from their respective Titanics.
rassle and cut-block the shorts.
-retail
“other dealers have not seen that dramatic of a drop off” meaning the percentage of volume they are down is bigger than the other firms, but not the actual volume.
@13 don’t feel bad. there’s always a job at daddy’s company.
@15 blasphemy!
“Equity Derivatives”
…Stopped reading right there.
14: One could have done a lot worse in the financials than follow VSTG’s advice. Bummer that his video is gone.
Difference of GS and MS common share prices(just one example).
http://finance.yahoo.com/q/bc?t=1y&s=GS&l=on&z=m&q=l&c=ms
boo fucking hoo
strange, I have a friend in GS Eq Derivs and he says they are killing it this year. Record volumes
@23 anyone who tells you he’s “killing it man, KILL-ING IT,” isn’t.
sooo….. anyone know what associate pay is?
If GS is the best that ever was, then they should have FICC mopping the floor.If they can’t benefit from all the volatility in their sectors, then how good are they?
Chuck Norris still works at GS so bonus cant be that bad
Tier 3 Assets
GS => Tier 3 Assets
no one at GS will ever tell you business is anything but f*cking great! KILLER!
even when Eq was sucking wind a couple years ago, comp was good because FICC was kicking mortgage ass and they were printing money in CDS trading
everyone knows that it’s always better to be in a division that sucks if the firm’s doing great — you’ll get paid regardless; but the opposite is also true, that even in a great year for a division, if the firm is losing money, forget about getting paid.
it all falls on how PIA is doing .. or whether the trading desks were in the moving vs storage biz that year
Tragic news. Has anyone set up a GS Relief Fund yet?
#30 – very well said
Hey, I neglected to tell you clowns that while I was on vacation, I met one of Mr. Blankfein’s top insider executives. He and I just talked about boats during our several conversations. We each have the same kind of boat, you know.
Well, he said he “liked my enthusiasm”, gave me his card, and then said, “Give me a call or send me an email if you need anything more.” He added that he “really enjoyed” our discussions.
Hmmm…Maybe I should call this guy. I’m a little bored right now, and a new career might be worth considering. GS hires clowns; I’m sure they do. I could ride Amtrak once a week, rent a pad in NYC month-to-month, and try out GS for 6 months or so.
Although I have no direct experience in Wall St finance, I do have one big thing going for me: Over the course of my 35-year working career, three former employers each said that I’m “the best there ever was” at salesmanship. #26′s entry reminded me of that. That one skill alone has carried me far.
I wonder what I should do. Any suggestions?
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. There are no gay implications in this entry, so you turds shouldn’t infer any.
Is the TGFD f*cking serious? I will take god damn mayo posts all day over this loser.
@#34…
FYI, A friend of mine who played a few seasons in the NFL got hired by GS some years back. WTF did he know about finance? Far as I know, He’s still there.
The Guy from Delaware
I wasn’t commenting on who they hire, just your post in general. Then I saw the friggin Barney’s rant on another post. If you do actually exist, you are clearly some f*cked in the head loser.
@#36…
BTW, my NFL friend, he was a clown too.
Chill out man. You’re starting to sound like “Road Rage”.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Do you have any appropriate suggestions in reply to my #33?
Yes….stay in Delaware
GS have a habit of spreading this “bad year” BS running up to bonus time so that the bottom 80% don’t feel so bad when they get screwed. Its called Expectation Management.
note to #39 — they still feel bad when they inevitably get screwed, and it is not only the ‘bottom 80%’ … top performers, who might be up 100% YOY in production (usually because they walked into a great account package abandoned by a senior person who left), might be flat and told to be thrilled
not that flat is bad in this environment, of course
and yes, managing expectations is one of the hallmarks of GS — ever hear the phrase “under-promise and over-deliver”?? they invented that shit
Just wondering… what is the pay package at GS for the below grades
a. Associate
b. VP
c. ED (exec director)
I used to work in London and my team VP was getting $120,000. I am not sure about the bonus. That was way back in 2005.
What is the scenario now ?
base for VP/ED is $150k
can’t remember what number for Associates
PMDs (partners) base is $600k
MD probably somewhere in between
but base is really irrelevant — they give you a total comp number in December, a portion of which is given in stock that vests and delivers over 3 years. the higher the number, the higher the stock component.
but rest assured, Lloyd and Co will have enough shekels to tip the doorman at 15 Central Park West
Do people at Goldman really believe they deserve any bonus? If so, why do you need the US Gov’t to buy the crap assets off your books? I think the taxpayers are tired of reading about these absurd levels of compensation and seeing it happen in the middle of having your hand out just makes me ill.
Either figure out how to fix the problem and keep the assets on GS’s books or admit you can’t and don’t pay bonuses.