Lady mag Marie Claire suggests that those in need of procrastination outlets today head over to Wall Street tabloid Dealbreaker.com. We agree. In the event that you’re already here, however, we’ve got a few more ideas for ways in which to slack off this afternoon.
1. Trot on over the lobby of Credit Suisse at 11 Madison Avenue, where they’re giving away free ice cream (truth) and there’s a bassist (truth) and pianist (truth) playing Stairway To Heaven (lie).
2. JO&C
3. (May or may not dovetail with no. 2) It’s come to our attention that with few banks hiring and many hedge funds being deluged with resumes, the latter has taken to ramping up the selectivity and requiring heretofore unorthodox submission materials of job seekers. Specially, at the most prestigious, head and body shots. Since several of you have email us requesting guidance as to how to navigate these uncharted waters (suit and tie? smile or frown? matte or gloss?), we decided to do you a solid and get some answers. After polling the Top 100 hedge funds as ranked by Institutional Investor, we’ve compiled the most successful shots, statistically speaking, after the jump. Special note: nine times out of ten, the second to last pose is said to have sealed the deal for those applying for employment up in Stamford, CT.
I’ll opt for #2 if Bess posts her field hockey picture.
-BeckyBootFan
hahaha
gayest.pictures.ever.
Mr. Pink, your thoughts? GAnalyst?
What did you have to go and do that for? Now I won’t be able to get anything done for the rest of the day. This beats Tucker or whatever his name was by miles. GAnalYst
the last one is amazing.
@GAnal– it wasn’t tucker…can’t remember name but not tucker.
that last one = special olympics.
it was Tanner, GAnalyst, geez.
GAnalyst– how can you still be turned on? i’m not even gay and I’ve lost it for him after these. and a goatee? gross.
Not that I want to obsess here, but note in 5 and 6 how low his suit is – so low its outside the frame. He outdoes the boys waiting to meet the ferry on the dock in Fire Island Pines. Be honest straight boys: isn’t he just amazing? Doesn’t he spark a least maybe 1/100 of an ounce of desire? GAnalYst
20 bucks to anyone who doesn’t piss himself in laughter after 3rd/4th/5th/6th.
@GAnalyst– straight guy here. i can admit that phelps is a good looking dude but COME ON how can you take him seriously after 4/5/6. especially 6.
I’m straight, but not a boy, but I can definitely vouch for that one GAnalYst.
Thank you Bess.
as someone who was offered a job at SAC i can tell you that the 3rd one is actually the most successful clincher, statistically speaking. i felt like a tool posing like that but it got results.
He’s a swimmer, not a model, folks.
1: gay
2: gay
3: gay/retarded
4: gay
5: gay
6:retarded
My honest expert opinion: I have a bit of a problem with 3 and 5 – the eyes closed thing is too new-agey. 6 though is a typical “I’m flexing” shot. Don’t see the problem. #1 face pic and that generally beautiful body though make up for the minor sins in the series. Plus the guy is an amazing athlete. In sum, total perfection. GAnalYst
GAnalyst– phelps or lochte?
For one night def Phelps, but I think Lochte has a better personality and would therefore make a better BF. GAnalYst
@GAnalyst– but Lochte is so much better looking, no?
Bess: you must have noticed that, counterintuitive though it seems, your page hits rocket when you put pics of hot guys up. First Tanner, now Mr. Phelps. You might consider doing more of this sort of thing. GAnalYst
@GAnalyst– why do you think that is?
21 Yes and no. Lochte is more conventionally good looking. Phelps is exotic. Phelps though seems to have a slightly weird personality which may account for those odd poses, hence my conclusion re him not being good BF material. GAnalYst
what about that skinny blonde swimmer?
Something Torres. He is kinda fem.
JO&C haha
23 Cause we’re all a little gay. But seriously, I think it has to do with the fact that Wall Street guys (and I think the redership here is overwhelmingly male) are competitive at heart and when confronted with a really good looking guy feel compelled to react in some way. GAnalYst
@ 25 LOL
Are you serious? I hope not!
phelps is an amazing swimmer, yes. his body is long, lean, and toight, yes. he is NOT good looking – unless you love asymetrically-faced monkeys with hints of downsyndrome.
Wow.
On the one day I get deluged with orders!
I just totally missed some trades looking at this..
I am in heaven.. THANK YOU BESS!
Glad to see GA back!
Yes, Tanner is so yesterday. History.
I would take #1.. There’s something exotic-ish about him.. The rest.. they just don’t do anything for me 1st glance.
Yes, I have to chime in on the Phelps discussion, I will state my opinion in two words: F**ing Hot.
-mrp
24..Exotic? Really…I’ll be sure to use that compliment next time i come across a corky with an extra 21st chromosome.
HAM: You are so wrong there. See also pink’s comment re #1. You should def stick with women. GAnalYst
I guess I’m the only one who has no idea what “JO&C” stands for. Anyone care to illuminate fuddy-duddy here?
@33–JO&C means JerkOff&Cry
As apparently the only female willing to weigh in, I’d just like to say, crazy hot body. Really not good face. It’s like looking at a less-handsome Eli Manning. But I could def get past the face for that body. Delish.
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha..ha!
blndebanker: Not to beat this to death, but my securities analyst training compels me to be more scientific in this assessment. Think of all the young guys you encounter during the day. At work, on the subway, in yr nabe, at the gym. Phelps would def rank top decile, possibly 95th percentile. Which is excellent, and all the more so since NY guys, given the fact that this is a moneyed town dominated by glam industries like finance, media fashion, are in themselves, both straight and gay, much hotter than the norm. So don’t go tossin off that “really not good face” so quickly. GAnalYst
this is a faggots thread…
enjoy your mayo
Is he the bassist, pianist, or ice cream scooper?