We're no fans of protectionism -- least of all, regulation coming out of the People's Republic of Canada. However, with Stephen Harper at the helm, things have gotten better for our mildly dull, if not downright slow, neighbors to the north. Case in point: The National Post reports today that the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) has just approved a new porn channel, on the condition that it show 50% Canadian content.
Canucks are used to their media being regulated like that. The CRTC's "Can-con" (Canadian content) requirements force radio stations to play about 35% Canadian content. That guarantees that every third song you hear on the radio in, say, Markham, ON will be either by Broken Social Scene or Nickelback. It's really hit or miss up there and even Bryan Adams once complained that Can-con promoted mediocre content. Coming from Bryan Adams, that's saying a lot.
This isn't the first time Canada has regulated its porn channels like this. According to the NP article:
"Last December, the CRTC approved a French-language digital channel called Vanessa, operated by Montreal-based Sex Shop Television. The licence* required only 20% Canadian programming. In 2003, the CRTC approved Hustler Canada, which airs primarily foreign content."*[Editors note: Canadian spelling wreaks havoc on your spell checker.]
Howard Stern once remarked that Canada was only known for three exports: whores, hockey, and William Shatner. Sure, they have a lot of other exports like oil and gold propping up the currency formerly known as the "Hudson Bay Peso", but are the streets of Toronto filled with drunken 18 year-old American frat boys with pick axes looking for the next Comstock Lode? Of course not. And with few exceptions, they're not looking for Tie Domi, either. When throngs of college-aged tourists from across the border ask for a Canadian hooker, they're not talking about TJ.
What Canada is known for is its attractive and often easy women, according to people familiar with the matter. It's good to see the Canadian government ensuring quality control.
An even better thought: Andrea Dworkin must be spinning in her grave.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 10:47AM
Too long and hard, didn't read.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 10:49AM
"And with few exceptions, they're not looking for Tie Domi, either."
Very few exceptions.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:08AM
Can-con guarantees us 4 songs by Rush every hour, all day.
--Calgary Schmooze
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:14AM
Andrea Dworkin is dead? When did that blessed event occur?
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:18AM
"What Canada is known for is its attractive, usually naïve, and often easy women, according to people familiar with the matter. It's good to see the Canadian government ensuring quality control."
That shit is gold. Unfortunately, most of the idiots who read this site won't get past the first paragraph.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:20AM
Avril Lavigne, Shania Twain or Celine Dion at the top of the hour, every hour. Hell yeah.
-Canadian
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:23AM
About that drunken American frat boy comment, you must never have gone to Windsor.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:24AM
Mike Weir must win 25% of all golf tournaments televised in Cananda.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:29AM
When Canadians are feeling in the dumps, it's heartening to know they'll always have Buffalo there to be the butt of their jokes.Good times!
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:32AM
As a public service, I need to reveal that similar is true re the men. Check out Remington's in TO or Campus in MO. Not as fun as when a C$ cost .70 but still good. Not silly shaved and plucked Chippendales types, but nice healthy lumberjacks /hockey players in jockstraps. Campus is in fact a very popular venue for NY gayboy bachelor parties. GAnalYst
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 11:49AM
Since when do you spellcheck anything?
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 12:07PM
My wife is Canadian. She told me that at "Cheetah's on the River" they had better health care than here at Scores.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 12:30PM
They could have a porn channel for women during the Calgary Stampede. That would meet all content requirements. There is enough T&A for everyone...even you Carney.
--Calgary IB
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 12:32PM
I love Calgary Stampede!
- Calgary Engg
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 12:46PM
@13-
Re: Carney - I haven't seen any nor have been looking for trans-gender south-east Asians getting it on during the first week in July, but your experiences might be different...
--CS
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 12:48PM
Remember: It's pronounced "Cal-GARY"
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 1:04PM
"Can-con guarantees us 4 songs by Rush every hour, all day.
--Calgary Schmooze"
Interspersed with tracks by Gowan, Shania Twain, Prism, Platinum Blonde and The Arrogant Worms, all on the same channel, all within the same hour.
Posted by Bulging Bracket , Aug 15, 2008 1:21PM
Thank God for XM! Funny that Rush, those libertarian heroes, are forced on Canadians thanks to government mandates. Also Bryan Adams was only pissed that he didn't qualify as Canadian because he didn't have enough canucki sound engineers, lyricists, fluffers, etc. Shania also doesn't count as Canadian for lots of her music - praise be! Unfortunately Celine qualifies as 100% for all her albums... "my heart will goooooooo onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Obviously Northern Peaks has never head of the Internet. Who would start a porn channel now? Your target market is online (see highspeed internet subs) and even pay websites are going bust.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 1:40PM
@17-
Depending on what 70s and 80s top-40 hits they used, that station could be pretty popular with truck drivers, house framers and guys pouring concrete.
--CS
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 2:29PM
If it wasn't for Elsinore Beer, Canada wouldn't be on the map.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 2:38PM
Bob & Doug McKenzie would have quite alot to say about this.....you hoser.
Posted by guest , Aug 15, 2008 8:34PM
BTO, Randy Bachman solo, April Wine, The Odds, The Kings.
Alex Trebek. Ted Koppel.
Most kids shows on PBS (you think that Polar Bear in the Nelvana logo is meant to mean Alaska?).
Most of the shows on The Sci-Fi (pron. "s*ck f*ck") Channel.
The most boring soft-core show ever run on Showtime ("Stories of Passion").
Ah, Canadian Content.
Posted by guest , Aug 16, 2008 8:58AM
Ok, I understand you guys had to keep your GPA up to 3.95 to get that interview with a BB all throughout your college years and therefore never ventured out of your dorm room or the library but your cultural references to Canada are really dated! I mean, Rush?
At least mention Simple Plan...
There are so many cool artists from Canuckistan: Tiga, Arcade Fire, Feist, Tegan & Sara, A-Trak, Chromeo, Wolf Parade,etc..
Thank god for my hispter girlfriend from Montreal who showed me good taste and how to french kiss at the same time!
By the way, for all mini-ballers, Montreal is the place to be for a weekend! the Formula 1 weekend is Eurotrash central...Bottles & models galore...
Posted by guest , Aug 17, 2008 2:49PM
Did you just call Feist cool?
Posted by Cincinnatus C , Aug 18, 2008 11:25AM
18: that's bullshit - no one uses canadian fluffers these days.
23: you last sentence is contradictory.