John Carney is on his way back to Manhattan from Iowa, where he was trying to put a stop to this ethanol business once and for all. Meanwhile, Bess Levin is on a beach somewhere ready to shank anyone who comes between her and her margaritas (though she will in and out of here today/some days this week). And, since it's August, you're probably not reading this anyway. However, the show must go on and, after they downed several shots of whiskey, I was asked by the powers that be to help myself to Carney's computer and am now in control here at DealBreaker HQ. Not that it was such a hard gig to get. In fact, when I walked in the office, the only thing close to anyone giving me trouble was when the Fashionista kids stopped me, looked at what I was wearing, and silently judged me before returning to their work making the world safe from the dangers of Armani Exchange purchasers.
So, who am I? My name is Lawrence Lewitinn and I'll be your guest editor here at DealBreaker until Carney chases me out of the office.
At first, I was going to do something silly, like dedicate all my posts to two journalists who currently suffer under an oppressive regime, risking their lives on a daily basis to report the truth in the most dangerous work environment known to mankind while the world instead pays attention to the conflict of two superpowers. Of course, I'm talking about Rebecca Jarvis and Margaret Brennan at CNBC. However, though my newly vested powers allow me to publish whatever I feel like publishing, I'll try to keep it as professional as possible. That said, Becky and Maggie, if you're reading this, feel free to drop Carney a line on how to get in touch with me and I'll be glad to meet up with either one -- or both -- of you at the Royal Cliffs Diner.
As for the rest of you, you can email your complaints to Carney as well.
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:13AM
Dude, break a leg.
PS: the sentences are too long though.
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:14AM
Carney's brain develops another personality...
--Calgary Schmooze
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:17AM
This is going to be a long freaking week.
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:24AM
Too long, didn't read.
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:27AM
How come you didn't have a link with any stuff that would cause our IT guys would tattle on us?
~The Energy Desk
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:29AM
Is Bess seriously on vacation?
Hell with this, see y'all in September
-Set in his ways
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:30AM
dont mess this up dude
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:36AM
Lawrence...I got a gig for you last week of August if come off the bench and write another blog while blogger is on vacation! Hell, it may a nice little sideline thing for you, "pinch-hit blogger"
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:40AM
To quote:
"Though [Bess] will in and out of here today/some days this week ..."
Do we get to watch?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:41AM
No opening bell?
Posted by chad , Aug 11, 2008 9:46AM
coffee's for closers
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:47AM
Congratulations. The editor of the Hull Times would be proud.
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 9:48AM
Where's Joe?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 10:01AM
Can I send you a joke for a free lunch?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 10:07AM
Lawrence doesn't exist. He's a figment of Carney's imagination.
Posted by finance_baller , Aug 11, 2008 10:14AM
So can we look forward to 'Bess Beach Webcam' this week?
Posted by guest , Aug 11, 2008 10:30AM
at first I read "shank" as "shag", but that wouldn't make any sense. Wishful thinking.
Posted by diablo , Aug 11, 2008 11:25AM
Carney wrote that. Can't fool anyone.
Posted by lemmerdeur , Aug 11, 2008 11:49AM
"I'll try to keep it as professional as possible."
Don't rock the boat, bro.