Portfolio has a big article on the business of The Jonas Brothers, the boy band that is apparently a big deal with the kids these days.* Sophia Bonay handily broke down the object of tween/teen lust that hopes to attain "Miley Cyrus-like success," a goal now very much within reach, what with the fresh round of funding from venture capitalist firm NAMBLA.
For those of you who truly only care about the JBs from a business perspective (right), there's a lot of interesting information. $12 million: 2007 earnings, with $9 million from the group's tour and $3 million from music and merchandise sales. 140: Total number of stops on their hilariously named "Look Me In The Eyes" tour, which began in January 2008 and runs through 2009. 29: number of guitars the brothers own. $9,000: StubHub price of a pair of orchestra-section tickets for the August 16 sold-out show in Holmdel, New Jersey. 3: Number of consecutive Jonas Brothers singles that garnered more than 100,000 downloads-- a record-- on iTunes. $2.8 million: price of the home in Dallas that the brothers purchased in June 2008. 946,362: MySpace friends (as of August 13, 2008). 743,915: MySpace friends assumed to be sexual predators (as of August 13, 2008).
There's one extremely important number, some might say the most important number of all, that Portfolio shamefully failed to include. That number is $300,000: Steve Cohen's winning bid at the Robin Hood Foundation benefit in May for a private concert with The Brothers, the kicker being that the person bidding against him to be serenaded by the boy band du jour was Jim Cramer. And yes, we know Cohen has some young kids who one could make the argument he was bidding on the concert for but let's also keep in mind that 50 percent of the reason people have kids is so that they can have fronts for businesses or predilections or loves that dare not speak their name they don't want you to know about, such as the one a hedge fund manager has for three singing brothers who could the next Von Trapp family were they not evangelical Christians.
The Jonas Brothers By-The-Numbers [Portfolio]
*We hate it when people use that saying but in this case the ignorance about a piece of pop culture that seems to be a product of me: old, you: young it is meant to express is entirely apt. We know virtually nothing about the group, a fact that makes us feel like a fossil at the age of almost 24.
Posted by guest , Aug 19, 2008 4:03PM
Would have been better if you didn't expand the NAMBLA acronym. Think of the hilarity those Google searches would have caused.
Posted by guest , Aug 19, 2008 5:19PM
I think the NAMBLA comment was a little unecessary.
Bess thinks these twinks are hot and there's no need to hide behind NAMBLA and Myspace predators to say what Dealbreaker says about hot women all the time.
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 19, 2008 5:31PM
This post deserves far more adoration than its been given thus far, bravo levin, bravo...
...on a slightly more serious note, their contract with Disney must be horrifically one-sided if in 140 shows they only grossed $12mil, that, and/or they're leaving a sh!t-ton of $$ on the table if people are willing to pay 2, 5, 10+ x face value for tickets.
Posted by guest , Aug 19, 2008 5:39PM
North American Marlon Brando Lookalike Association?
Posted by AJ , Aug 19, 2008 7:32PM
My only thought on the Jonas Brothers is that I hope Disney ruins the little evangelicals like it does with all its other teen stars
Posted by lemmerdeur , Aug 19, 2008 8:05PM
I don't mind manufactured, low-talent bands with catchy tunes - but these guys are TERRIBLE.
Posted by guest , Aug 19, 2008 9:48PM
driving on GSP on Sun next to giant SUV w "we [heart] the jonas brothers" written on all the windows. had no idea who they were. thank you Bess.
Posted by guest , Aug 20, 2008 9:38AM
@3 – Those prices are for scalped tix, not the prints from Ticketmonster. Sounds like their guarantees were low (savvy management), but they could make some of it up on the back end (pun intentional). Their next contract will be worth millions with sponsorship up the arse. Then they’ll crash, burn maybe an OD or two if we’re lucky, fall into a parody of themselves on a cable docudrama ala William Jonathan Drayton Jr. (Flavor Flav for the rap inept) then the rest of us will be able to carry on with our lives.
Posted by guest , Aug 20, 2008 11:41AM
What part of China are they from and how did the red chinese let them get out of performing in the olympics?
Posted by guest , Aug 22, 2008 10:01AM
@ 2: moral-eqivalence is bullshit logic.
gawking at little boys is sick.
gawking at women is normal.