Place Your Bets

Posted by Bess Levin, Aug 06, 2008, 2:11pm

Not really much to say today, although I'm glad CNBC's Dennis Kneale applauds Paris Hilton's rebuttal to John McCain's attack ad because apparently it's going to open the door for us to be able to make fun of Barack Obama which thus far, according to Kneale, we haven't been able to do because "we're...afraid that someone will call us racist." So...anyway. Just thought I'd let you know that after having a gun held to his head, Oyster Boy has graciously decided to wow us all once again with a show of gastrointestinal fortitude. For his next challenge, OB has selected the Burger Crawl, which will require him to eat one burger at each of the following in 2.5 hours:

Quality Meats @58th
POP Burger @ 58th
Burger Joint @ Parker Meridien 57th
Brooklyn Diner @ 57th
Burger Heaven @53rd
Prime Burger @51st
Burger Shoppe @ Water Street

We're going to be taking bets in blocks, with a minimum bid of $10/block. If OB completes the challenge, we'll be sending him to Vegas. If he doesn't, you'll get to salvage a little pride post being exposed as gutless wretches. Either way, there's a good chance he's gonna puke, which will at least provide a little much needed comic relief during these tough times.

0Recommend this! 61Comments

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:16PM

burger every 21-22 minutes at seven locations? not gonna happen.

2

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:24PM

not a chance he does it

3

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:27PM

Burger Heaven alone makes me throw up. Worst burger in Manhattan.

4

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:28PM

travel time included?

5

Posted by FUNdamental, Aug 06, 2008 2:30PM

Is there a box for "busted ass toilet"?

6

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:32PM

Must OB eat all the toppings and garnish too?

8

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:36PM

Completes the challenge == Exiled to Las Vegas, New Mexico.

9

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:38PM

I would pay double if OB has to run from prime burger to Burger Shoppe as part of the challenge

10

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:45PM

I have a hefty friend who swore he could eat 5 1/4 lb burgers in 20 minutes - so we bet on it, $200. The Fat Fuck took my money....so who knows

11

Posted by bank_teller, Aug 06, 2008 2:45PM

depending on the time of day/week, the trip from midtown to water st alone could give him an hour of digestion time. (although i guess he could bring a burger with him for the cab, but either way...) maybe DB could at least spring for the insane foie gras burger at the appropriately named DB bistro moderne, which would be a little closer.

12

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:49PM

Subway- he could be that crazy dude eating three burgers on 6 train... that would be worth seeing..

13

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:50PM

Just reading this post makes have to take a protein laden dook.

To make it interesting, invite any remaining BAC interns to compete and let them do it like a relay. Those nancies would still be the underdog.

-Nominate me

14

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:56PM

Bess you shoulda added a jackson hole burger to top it off.

15

Posted by girl, Aug 06, 2008 2:57PM

A little birdie told me that Anal_yst and 1-2 will be waiting for you at Burger Shoppe in a cheerleaders outfit and knee high socks should you make it to victory.

If that won't motivate you to destruction, nothing can.

Godspeed, OB

16

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 2:59PM

@13 please kick yourself in the head.

17

Posted by Anal_yst, Aug 06, 2008 3:05PM

Girl, come on! You know we'll be rocking out the full on "hey mickey" regalia.
We'll also have plenty of pepto and immodium, since he'll likely be leaving direclty from the wall street heliport immediate after (presumably) accomplishing the task for his trip to Vegas.

18

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:11PM

Can we spectate (as cheerleaders or otherwise)? Are there estimated times of arrival at each spot per chance? Or will that be dictated by OB's digestion speed? I am so proud of him...

19

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:18PM

cut out the water street joint and give him Zip burger on the east side...maybe it CAN be done in 2.5 hours

20

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:19PM

no. it has to end downtown.

21

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:35PM

you left five guys out of the mix

22

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:49PM

from 51st straight downtown-lets add a stop at the.....shake shack

23

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:53PM

um lucky burger? um hi? hello?

24

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 3:54PM

bess... anti obama? wow what a cunt you are

25

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:06PM

Wait, does the 2.5 hours include travel time and ordering/waiting for the misanthropes behind the counter to make your burger time?

Because if so there's no effing way this can be done.

26

Posted by whatelseisgoingon, Aug 06, 2008 4:22PM

who cares what places he goes to? Shake Shack, 5 guys... all that matters is that he vomits. It shouldn't be an enjoyabe experience for him.

yup, so what else is going on?

27

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:24PM

Bess,

No way it can be done in 2.5 with travel/order time included. Still, I would like to see him try.

28

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:27PM

He will have eaten approximately half a cow. If he doesn't vomit he should be taken away for scientific testing, as he will be a medical miracle...

29

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:35PM

Bess, when is OB gonna do this?

30

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:41PM

What kind of odds are we getting on this bet? Where can we place our bets?

These are questions that need to be answered.

31

Posted by HAM05, Aug 06, 2008 4:42PM

obama can eat my ass. there, i said it. not a racist, but clearly a golfer...

32

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:45PM

I have a suggestion...I see no reason to make this a one horse race with OB. I think this should be opened up to other banks and law firms with 1 designated participant from each. I would also suggest subsituting DB Bistro, Five Guys, or 21 Club for Burger Shoppe so that the participants could jog or run from one Midtown location to the next. This has event has serious potential (both in terms of gambling and comedy).

33

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:47PM

@ 24-at least take back the c-word and yes indeed @33-where can i can i get a piece of this action.

34

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:49PM

add a 12 oz glass of beer must be consumed with each burger and we will have a dandy puke-fest

35

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 4:54PM

@ 37 beer or double shot of tequila, may be no room for beer with all that beef and we don't want 'em hurling at the first hurdle...

36

Posted by I am a Dude, Aug 06, 2008 5:02PM

@24
of all things to call Bess, you pick the one she most definitely is not.

where do we place our bets?

37

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 5:04PM

@Bess: 33 here. You should set up a paypal account with your bess@dealbreaker.com email address to collect the funds.

The hard part is going to be handicapping the odds. Lets open the line at 3:1 that he pukes before the end.

Who is willing to play the role of the house?

We could always ask betonsports.com or goldenpalace.com if they want to bankroll the event.

38

Posted by I am a Dude, Aug 06, 2008 5:05PM

yes Bess, how do we get you the cash? Do we fedex the gambling $ like on Boiler Room?

39

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 5:08PM

Bess raised an interesting point to which no one replied. The simple fact of the matter is that it is the Blacks/Obamanuts who are racist. Would someone please tell this dude that not everyone on the dollar bill is a former President and no, they don't all look alike. You want to see some black racism, just take a look at this exchange a friend of mine had with a black racist chick about an Obama joke.

White guy writes to black chick:

Subject: The evidence is in - Obama at Conception
Much has been written about the heritage of one, Barrack Obama, democrat candidate for President of the United States. Thank goodness for the ever-present liberal left media and their pesky cameramen. While many of the left wing flame throwers have attempted to hide these pictures, the truth always comes out. Attached you will not only find pictures of Obama's mom and pop but actual physical evidence of his conception. Enjoy and God Bless America! (insert the picture of a bull fucking a statue of a cow)

Black chick writes back to white guy:

What the fuck is this? Those pictures are atrocious! As a person and a black woman I am greatly offended! Shame on you. You better get use to it. Your next president might be black. Get over it you racist fuck. If you don't like it go kill yourself!
By the way I think those 2 animals more resemble you. I have met you before.
Don't ever contact me again!

White guy response to black chick:

Who said the animals were black? Guess you are the racist! And, you can get used to it!
PS: You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Black chick response to white guy:

Fuck you again! And yes I kiss my mother with that mouth. I don't have anything to get used to you asshole.
You are the racist! The color of the animals is not the point. Its the fact that you are insinuating that he is an animal born from animals. Doesn't that remind you of the days when white people used to think of blacks as less than human.
Go to hell you fat racist bastard!

White guy response to black chick:
LOL. You are such a racist moron - filled with hate.

Let's see now - 96% of blacks are voting for Obama. Does that not strike you as a bit of a high percentage and wouldn't even a racist moron like you deduce that this number is so LARGE because be is BLACK? Even a person as enraged and venomous as you just might be able to see that the Obama supporters are the real racists here. The good news for you, of course, is that you might well be at the head of the racist class. Congratulations. It is likely to be your only intellectual achievement!!!

PS: we are all animals born of animals you flaming idiot!

Black chick response to white guy:
Ohhhhh I'm so hurt. Not!
Idiots like you are entitled to their own opinions.
We are voting for Barack because we want someone to effectively represent America and minorities
The white motherfuckers you guys keep voting into office are not doing a great job and maybe a black man can do it.
We want something different. Were not voting for him simply because he's black! There's more behind it than that. So go to hell and go vote for half dead McCain.

White guy response to black chick :

I can't believe what a stupid racist you are. Do you ever take a moment to read what you write or hear what you say? I have taken an excerpt (just to help you out, that means "a part of") from your email in which you write:

"The white motherfuckers you guys keep voting into office are not doing a great job and maybe a black man can do it. We want something different."

There is nothing about your racism that I can say more strongly than you have already said it. Congrats - you flaming racist idiot. I'll bet for the first time in your life - you might actually be proud of your country! lol God, you are sooo stupid. Maybe, it's true what they say!

40

Posted by Finnegan, Aug 06, 2008 5:14PM

Actually DB should always have either a paypal or Amazon "donate" button on one of the pages to facilitate bets like this.

@34: Not a racist, but a sexual deviant.

41

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 5:16PM

Why can't OB eat a CS intern in the Shake Shack line in less than 2.5 hours? That would be more fun.

Based on OB eating vita, my guess he can eat five burgers in 2.5 hours. However, if he has to buy them himself that might add to the degree of difficulty. The Burger Joint cue can be brutal if you're behind BofA interns or dodgy tourist with guide books telling them it's the best burger in Manhattan.

42

Posted by Finnegan, Aug 06, 2008 5:22PM

@43:
That would have wasted a lot of trees if written on paper. Maybe next time you can make that shorter, funnier, and coherent.

43

Posted by a dead horse, Aug 06, 2008 5:27PM

$500 says he doesn't do it

44

Posted by bank_teller, Aug 06, 2008 5:33PM

what the fuck just happened here?

so i'm thinking that the appropriate method here might be to down the first one while pre-ordering the others and take at least 2 of them into the cab/subway. challenge should be pretty do-able, odds no worse than 50-50.

45

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 5:59PM

43. AWESOME BABY!

46

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 6:48PM

43 is not awesome. He is sadly predictable. I don't enjoy long anecdotes about white guys successfully putting down black women. I expect that someone like that would also have long anecdotes about successfully putting down working women, business competitors, people from another country, members of an opposing political party, guys who park his car, and anyone else that he doesn't regularly golf with.

Nice that he closes with "maybe what they say is true." What exactly do "they" say?

47

Posted by Anal_yst, Aug 06, 2008 7:15PM

@ 50, while you may be right, i don't think the point was to put anyone down, but to point out that they were the pot calling (no racist pun here btw) the kettle black.

While it may be true some presidents who happen to be white haven't done the kinda job this woman may expect, it has less to do with them being white (which is a racist observation) and more to do with them being crappy presidents, there is a difference between association and causation.

48

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 10:10PM

once you go barack, you never go back....

just saying

49

Posted by Finnegan, Aug 06, 2008 10:23PM

The idea that blacks should not be excited over a black president is absurd, and defies every normal human impulse. Hell, the whole Olympics is based on ethnic or national identity enthusiasms. In many ways the black skin symbolizes similar life experiences so there is a mild assumption of affinity.

One can also assume too that blacks don't get behind every black politician: Colin, Condoleeza and Clarence are hardly favorites in the black community, rejected over ideology rather than skin.

So here, after 300 plus years of white presidents, where EVERYONE votes for white candidates, a fairly qualified black person comes along with nearly the exact same views as the white candidate (Hillary), and with the exception that the white candidate is not likeable (in terms of surface appearances).

Add to that the white candidate's attempts to bring race to the fore by repeatedly saying that whites won't vote for the black guy, so therefore, vote for the white person.

The black voter, seeing the similarities (and with most blacks voting 90% plus for Democrats anyway), is supposed to automatically line up behind Hillary, in the same way that in more personal matters whites encourage their kids to date blacks and spend untold amounts of time cultivating black friends? Ha ha.

Won't happen, and doesn't really happen.

The assumption that all blacks vote simply due to race would suggest that a black Republican would be knocking back the black vote. Keyes? Anyone seen Keyes?

Ninety percent of the campaign efforts thus far have been over stupidity related to Obama, as opposed to policy, and in fact both candidates deserve real analysis.

@43 is an idiot.

50

Posted by trojan, Aug 06, 2008 11:24PM

i will put some bills on this. what is the over/under? or is it just by block?


you guys use matchbook? where can we wager

51

Posted by Anal_yst, Aug 06, 2008 11:24PM

@ Finnegan

Agreed, except for your last point. Both candidates will deserve real analysis when they either 1)cut it with the bullshit populist pandering and flip-flopping and/or 2) well #1 pretty much covers it.

52

Posted by guest, Aug 06, 2008 11:35PM

Anal_yst,

sorry dude, but I think you just need to agree with Finnegan and stop there. If you even thought for the slightest bit that 43 makes any sense, then you are an idiot.. No need to disagree on "last point" bullcrap to save face... and 43 is a total douchebag.. The fact that he's so proud of his idiot friend's exchange is beyond me. The exchange only shows how racist and stupid his friend is.

53

Posted by Anal_yst, Aug 07, 2008 12:21AM

56

Wasn't trying to save face at all, just saying that both candidates are full of shit, guess you don't get humor, sarcasm, etc. 43 is a douche, so obvious is it that I didn't bother directly saying so.

54

Posted by guest, Aug 07, 2008 1:24PM

@56

43 made a point which is that the person who was voting for Obama obviously doesn't have a real logical reason for voting for him. If she did she wouldn't have said that.

There are plenty of reasons to like/not like Obama, but does anyone ever mention anything about his policies? Everyone seems to be mad at his followers who are very very annoying.

55

Posted by guest, Aug 07, 2008 2:00PM

from #43 on, posting went downhill.

#43, get a job.

56

Posted by guest, Aug 07, 2008 2:06PM

OB downed what, 244 oysters or so in an hour?

7 burgers isn't the issue. it's the travel/order time that's difficult.

otherwise, if we collected the 7 burgers and had him eat them in one location, i say he could do it in 1.5 hours

57

Posted by Anal_yst, Aug 07, 2008 2:23PM

True, the wait @ Burger Joint alone could kill 30 minutes. Should pre-order and/or have stand-ins till he gets to each location. Local volunteers, apply here

58

Posted by I am a Dude, Aug 07, 2008 2:35PM

we still need a bookie

59

Posted by guest, Aug 07, 2008 5:21PM

Can't someone bring up the gallon of milk bet? I actually won that but (with great odds) a few years back. Was in the conference room late day with the Partners making all kinds of side bets.

60

Posted by trojan, Aug 08, 2008 7:28PM

seriously bess go to matchbook.com, its a betting exchange. there's a section where you can set up specific wagers like burgercrawl 08

61

Posted by guest, Aug 12, 2008 6:37PM

I will bet anyone here that they can not 100 oreos in one hour. Name the stakes up to $100,000. Youtube and escrows will be required.

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