• 28 Aug 2008 at 12:26 PM

Speaking Of LAME Excuses To Fire You

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According to a well-caffeinated incoming analyst at Bearpont Morgan Chase, Jamie Dimon’s henchmen in HR fired at least a handful of new hires for falling asleep during training to make up for last year’s overhiring.

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Comments (16)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 12:31 PM

    It’s not the first time

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 12:35 PM

    Too long, couldn’t stay awake.

  3. 3
    Posted by Anal_yst | August 28, 2008 at 12:52 PM

    damn thats terrible, some of the crap you’ve gotta sit through during training is worse than watching paint dry!

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 12:56 PM

    However, I heard you were promoted immediately to VP if there was clear evidence you performed a nocturnal emission while sleeping through training.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 1:04 PM

    no way.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 1:29 PM

    NY Times is reporting that LEH is to fire up to 1,500 investment bankers. Anyone hear anything on that? What divisions..timing…severance?

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 1:55 PM

    @6 sounds like “someone” works there

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 2:05 PM

    @6…I didnt hear that, I did hear that Bear Stearns was thinking of laying some bankers off as well…if you have any insight that would be helpful

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 5:26 PM

    legit. if you fall asleep during training, why should you be granted access to the office?

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 6:57 PM

    @9 Seriously?
    Training is perhaps one of the single biggest waste of time (next to the bar admission course) that i have ever experienced. Mostly it consists of been given materials and then having them read aloud to you. And going over the code of conduct and mission statements. Which basically state “make money” & “don’t get caught”.
    In reality the person teaching the session should be penalized for being so boring that the kids had no choice but to fall asleep.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 8:00 PM

    Jamie Dimon doesn’t sleep. He waits.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | August 28, 2008 at 8:26 PM

    I can confirm this story. I was training on the same floor that day. Rumors were circulating that a bunch of the IB trainees came in hungover and were sent home b/c they fell asleep. Heard it from the recruiter’s mouth…

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | August 29, 2008 at 3:09 AM

    Jamie Dimon doesn’t sleep and “citi never sleeps” either!

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | August 29, 2008 at 3:51 AM

    cock. I was hoping for a little rest next week.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 9:46 AM

    Happy to see them go; if you can’t play the game you’re going to get the boot.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 1:49 PM

    Not true

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