The Fate Of Lehman Somehow Rests In This Boy's Hands

Posted by Bess Levin, Aug 22, 2008, 11:34am

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In an effort to prove via gastrointestinal fortitude that Oyster Boy isn't the only man on Wall Street with a set of working testicles, today, as we speak, another financial services hack is attempting to successfully complete The Vending Machine Challenge. As you well know, the last of his kind to try and eat one of every item in his firm's treasure chest o' snacks failed miserably. Success, in this case, is defined as the strapping young man above eating the following items between 10 and 3. At this time, he's consumed 4 bags of chips and a candy bar, and is said to be struggling on account of drinking too much last night and eating "a big breakfast this morning."

Cheddar sun chips
Onion soy crisps
Nacho Doritos
Pretzel sandwiches
Honey wheat pretzels
Quaker rice cakes
Fritos
Veggie crisps
Peanuts
Animal crackers
Yogurt snacks
Chex mix
Rolled gold pretzels
Baked lays
Potato skins
Smart pop corn
Rice crispie treat
Cheezeits
M&M's
Fig newtons
Multi grain bar
Balance bar
P and B crackers
Nature Valley granola bar
Snack wells
Nutter butters
Hershey kisses
Reeses pieces
Zagnut (crunchy pb with toasted coconuts)
Wintergreen breathsavers
Mint breathsavers

6Recommend this! 29Comments

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 11:37AM

I'll tell you one thing: that Nature Valley bar is going to be a BITCH

2

Posted by blndebnker, Aug 22, 2008 11:38AM

Hey whatever happened with OB's burger challenge? Did he make it?

4

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 11:42AM

Short that poor bastard

5

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 11:44AM

An hour and a half in and he's already struggling? He's not going to get even half way though the list.

6

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 11:45AM

I can't see the packs of mayo that should be on the table.

7

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 11:59AM

hopefully the popcorn gets popped first. I have to agree on shorting his success, only four bags of chips and already faltering? Unless someone gets him some performance enhancers (grass, anyone?)

8

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:05PM

Guys gonna puke.

Any bets on whats gonna put him over the edge?

9

Posted by Anal_yst, Aug 22, 2008 12:05PM

@1
I was thinking the same thing! With the balance bar, multi-grain , and whatever the hell veggie crisps are, man, i hope they clear out a stall for this kid cus he's gonna blow it up something fierce soon

10

Posted by EconAnalyst, Aug 22, 2008 12:11PM

200 Shares of LEH says he fails. It shouldn't even be that hard, that is probably less than 4,000 calories.

11

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:11PM

"strapping young man..." I guess for the sake of privacy we can't see his face, but any chest or leg shots available? Just so we can judge. GAnalYst

12

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:14PM

10 No way. There's 31 items, I'm thinking 300 calories each on average.

13

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:15PM

#10 - I'd estimate at least double that

14

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:15PM

Too much, didn't eat.

15

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:16PM

@10: Sorry, the minimum bet is a dollar.

Seriously, this is disgusting. I can't even see the homoeroticism angle, which is usually the sole point of hazing rituals.

16

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:24PM

Doesn't have a chance.

17

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:24PM

Doesn't have a chance.

18

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:25PM

A female natty trader could handle all that easy.
~Jimmy Crack Korn
East Texas Gas Trader

19

Posted by EconAnalyst, Aug 22, 2008 12:35PM

Okay. I stand corrected.

Is about 6,000 calories.

Cheddar sun chips 210
Onion soy crisps 110
Nacho Doritos 250
Pretzel sandwiches 150
Honey wheat pretzels 200
Quaker rice cakes 70
Fritos 320
Veggie crisps 170
Peanuts 170
Animal crackers 100
Yogurt snacks 130
Chex mix 210
Rolled gold pretzels 380
Baked lays 210
Potato skins 225
Smart pop corn 100
Rice crispie treat 90
Cheezeits 220
M&M's 320
Fig newtons 220
Multi grain bar 220
Balance bar 210
P and B crackers 200
Nature Valley granola bar 160
Snack wells 300
Nutter butters 340
Hershey kisses 230
Reeses pieces 210
Zagnut (crunchy pb with toasted coconuts) 300
Wintergreen breathsavers 180
Mint breathsavers 180

Total 6,385
Count 31
Average 206

20

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:37PM

Total, Count, Average?? finally someone makes good use of excel

21

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:44PM

Once (if) he gets through the food, then he has to down two packs of breathsavers. That'll be quite the finish.

22

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:50PM

charlie gasparino just said carney was a very smart guy on cnbc.

23

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:52PM

#21 - Perfect! His puke will be Minty-Fresh!

24

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 12:56PM

Rice crispy treat will be his gastrointestinal system's last stand.

I may be giving him too much credit. The rold gold pretzel bags are surprising packed with actual pretzels.

-Nominate me

25

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 1:05PM

This guy's a genius, with a little castor oil, he could be starting the first Wall Street-wide barf-o-rama.

26

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 1:32PM

I bet Phelps could handle all that food and still set another world record.

27

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 1:42PM

Buffett can do 8000 calories in Coke and See's Peanut Brittle in a shareholders meeting...

28

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 2:12PM

thats a weak vending machine, not much chocolate or sugar, which usually is the cause of failing, throw in a couple king size hershey bars and a king size snickers and we can talk about a challenge

29

Posted by guest, Aug 22, 2008 2:52PM

Word on the street is that Blackstone is going to be bidding on the nutter butters.

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