I'm sure it doesn't come as a shock for me to point out that many of you are socially awkward, often fail to demonstrate empathy for your peers, and are prone to restricted patterns of behavior such as hitting the submit button over and over and over again when trying to comment.* Which is to say, you likely all have a mild to major form of Asperger syndrome. Or do you? Take this quiz and post your results. It would be helpful and add a little more color to the situation if you also told us where you're employed but no pressure on that end (I'll just find out by checking your IP. Kidding?).
*Not a criticism, personally, I like it when you do this.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:50AM
33
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:50AM
You're making me hungry, Bess. No I think I may have an assburger for lunch.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:53AM
A Canadian Asperger's test? Totally lacking in credibility.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:55AM
15, lehman brothers.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:55AM
Ass Purger?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:56AM
I hope Canadians are better at writing psych tests than they are a running hedge funds, Brian Hunter.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:56AM
What is the issue with the DB comment posting system anyway? It takes like ages to post.
Posted by AJ , Aug 01, 2008 11:07AM
27, not quite there... does this make me like one of those guys with like an 80 IQ when the retarded cutoff is 70?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:12AM
I clicked the link, over and over again, but the test won't load. I switched to IE and I clicked some more, and it still won't load. Overloaded link? I'll just keep clicking. and clicking. and clicking.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:13AM
Interestingly enough, the guy that developed this quiz is Ali G's cousin. Per his IMDB page:
His cousin, Simon Baron-Cohen, is a preeminent psychologist who became famous for his theory that autism is caused by an extreme male brain.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:14AM
Was going to reply but the server is fried.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:24AM
I"ve always considered Asperger one of my greatest assets.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:28AM
Service Temporarily Unavailable
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later.
Regards,
Rain Man
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:29AM
You need to be careful with the type of jeans you wear when you have Asperger syndrome. The wrong cut will make you look fat.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:32AM
14, which makes me sound rather more socially integrated than I'm sure is accurate.
Posted by lemmerdeur , Aug 01, 2008 11:40AM
20!
I work for a hedge fund.
I still hate you all.
I'm not sure if any or all of these data points are related.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:40AM
29, but as I filled it out I was contemplating how much better I've become since I was a scientist, much less since I was an undergrad majoring in math. People in financial services have always seemed socially adept compared to Engineering/Math/Science types. Ha, but then again I'm 3 points from Asperger's.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:42AM
13, commodity trader
Posted by To The Hilt , Aug 01, 2008 11:45AM
34.
Apparently I'm autistic.
Good to know.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:45AM
35
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:45AM
35
Posted by bank_teller , Aug 01, 2008 11:45AM
15, apparently i am an average woman.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:46AM
29 - Wachovia, for today at least, c'mon you cracker fucks sell us off already
Posted by MuniShe , Aug 01, 2008 11:47AM
20
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:51AM
22
-BeckyBootFan
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:56AM
12 - citi
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:58AM
26
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:01PM
18- a woman as an average man...not sure how I feel about this.
Posted by girl , Aug 01, 2008 12:01PM
16- Lady of Leisure in Training
@ 8, quite possibly
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:03PM
33. Energy.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:08PM
if you eat too much Asperger doesn't it make your urine smell funny??
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:08PM
17 - average female scientist. As a male (former) physicist, I always worried that my social skills were holding me back . . .
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:15PM
16 - sales at a bulge bracket
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:15PM
12 - Quant Risk Modeling
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 01, 2008 12:15PM
19, apparently some people don't quite understand that being smart is not always 100% correlated with being completely antisocial
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:16PM
17, hf
Posted by girl , Aug 01, 2008 12:19PM
@ Anal
True. Sometimes it's also 10% correlated to being ugly
Posted by arioch , Aug 01, 2008 12:19PM
21. computer geek? funny. i majored in amateur pharmacology.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:21PM
25
Higher than a female scientist.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:24PM
19 - Lawyer, but as it turns out, should have been a scientist.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:26PM
8 - Apathetic lawyer
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:26PM
29, mortgage trading
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:27PM
11
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:29PM
8 - Apathetic lawyer
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:36PM
24 - average math contest winner.
I got the math prize at my 8th grade graduation. Suck my dick, anonymous commentariat.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:38PM
7 - am I brain dead? there is no explanation of scores 12 and below.
HELP! What does this mean?
Posted by TheEngineer , Aug 01, 2008 12:38PM
15, and I bet you can guess what I do. Ouch.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:38PM
Did you know that 95% of statistics are made up on the spot?
Posted by TheEngineer , Aug 01, 2008 12:40PM
Hey 12:38, I thought it was 75.3%
Posted by HAM05 , Aug 01, 2008 12:41PM
24 - star of spellbound
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:42PM
Thirty-seven.
So explain to me how I failed college math.
-DK
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:44PM
5, Patrick Bateman in training...err value guy
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:47PM
25 - Portfolio Manager
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:47PM
18--retired scientist, now private investor
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:47PM
14, yoga teacher
-retail
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:48PM
8- doesn't give description of below 12?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:48PM
What happens if you're just really stupid and really anti-social?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:48PM
@ The engineer
You're right... according to investorguy
83% according to democratic underground
79.48% according to cnx
I could go on... and on...
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:49PM
wasn't comfortable taking the test - greeter at Walmart
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:51PM
#57 Backoffice?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:56PM
16 - student at wharton. seems low though.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:58PM
12 - Syndicated Loans. We don't do numbers, we do lunch.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:58PM
you have to be warped to get hired on Wall Street.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:01PM
22 - risk arb
Posted by FUNdamental , Aug 01, 2008 1:04PM
of all the things to get blocked at the office that test magically got selected?
Number available later - leader of romper room.
Posted by TheEngineer , Aug 01, 2008 1:05PM
@12:48
You must be making those numbers up.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:05PM
I have a friend with A.S.
He wont look me in the eye when hes talking to me
I dont trust him
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 01, 2008 1:05PM
As with most shrink-invented "tests" of this sort, this one is likely 50% bullsh!t, if not more, take it with a grain of salt.
If these results were true, perhaps mortgage trader with a score of 29 and the quant risk modeler with a score 12, together, might just be indicitave of a few problems recently befallen wall street...
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:15PM
Bess you should've done VALS testing or IAT
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 01, 2008 1:15PM
As with most shrink-invented "tests" of this sort, this one is likely 50% bullsh!t, if not more, take it with a grain of salt.
If these results were true, perhaps mortgage trader with a score of 29 and the quant risk modeler with a score 12, together, might just be indicitave of a few problems recently befallen wall street...
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:16PM
22 retail broker
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 01, 2008 1:19PM
crap my bad for the 2x post, effing IT guy get your sh!t together!
Posted by hedgehog , Aug 01, 2008 1:20PM
11 - hedge fund equity analyst. my boss has always told me i need more attention to detail...
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:20PM
eeek.. 46.
-physicist at CalTech
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:21PM
17 bikini line waxer. Bess call me.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:23PM
47.... wow....
Maybe I should see someone
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:24PM
2. is this right??
- Motivational speaker
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:25PM
12. You people are freaks.
-Consultant
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:36PM
24 Average math contest winner--actually did do math contests at the national level in the past and currently work for a laser company. Awesome.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:36PM
Hey - did anyone notice that comment # 58 was made at 12:48, and that # 59 was made at 12:49? Cool, huh? And the commenter's score at 12:47, which is 14, when added to the comment number, 55, equals 69! What fun, huh?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:43PM
@ Sir Anal ~ 68,
I think you might have nailed whats wrong with our crooked street...
@ # 80,
Back to the spreadsheet, you number monkey... and yes its cool how the number just flow like that, but we are not supposed to tell the rest of the people what we see...
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:44PM
laser company is beyond awesome.
-retail
Posted by I am a Dude , Aug 01, 2008 1:45PM
F***ken quiz was from Borat's cousin scored 35, Bess already knows what i do.
no clue what thats supposed to mean
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:45PM
50
Assburger is a gift. Helps me think instead of wasting time with people.
This is how I proved the Poincaré conjecture which surmises that any closed three-dimensional manifold where any loop can be contracted to a point and that it is really just a three-dimensional sphere.
Grigori Perelman
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:58PM
Commenter 45 got a score of 24, which, when added together equals - tah dah - 69!
freaky geeky
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:06PM
32-HF Summer Intern
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:09PM
21 - crane operator
Posted by Finnegan , Aug 01, 2008 2:19PM
Very diabolical, this particular best post, and here is the backstory:
Carney: Our sales team wants some additional information to present to advertisers about readers. There is some debate about the quality, and whether they are truly on the Street. Bess I just don't know what to do! Any ideas?
Bess: A geek test where I ask them their scores, what they do, and where they work.
Carney: Bess, your brilliant, like a young Barbara Stanwyck in "Christmas in Connecticut". It's just crazy enough to work and save our asses. But will it?
Bess: I don't Carney. It's a chance we have to take. The fate of DB, and our jobs, rests on it.
Carney: I know Bess. I know.
That said, I got a 22, which may or may not explain my unemployedness although I wish I scored high and was perhaps autistic which would land me on 60 minutes for being able to miraculously play symphonic music on the piano while being unable to manage the poop process. Rain Finnegan Man.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:22PM
"Carney: Bess, *your* brilliant"
but Finnegan is not.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:39PM
32- mayo eater
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:41PM
Not all bankers are Aspies.
Just the ones that are worth a shit.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:41PM
20, asset manager.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:43PM
you'll find more slightly autistic people in hedge funds than banks, i would imagine.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:51PM
@92
by asset manager...do you just mean retail broker?
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:00PM
94:
no, i'm buy-side so i don't have to deal with humans. too many of them are cocksuckers. Like you (no offence)
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:04PM
ahhh but is the cocksucker the "callee"...or the "caller"
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:09PM
25, lawyer.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:12PM
7 - DC Lawyer
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:19PM
11; atheist attorney.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:57PM
Never trust a guy who can count to 1024 on his fingers.
--Calgary Schmooze
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:59PM
36, commercial finance lawyer.
Second the "ask the hedgies" comment.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 4:12PM
7, Marine
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 4:44PM
35, Patent attorney.
I couldn't get the piepalace test to work. Does anyone have the list of rankings and what each means?
Grassyass.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 4:47PM
24; mensa member, playing sudoku at the moment, just waiting for happy hour.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 5:04PM
access forbidden-i must work at GS
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 5:46PM
I clicked the link and got 404. And an error. I work at a port or something
Posted by Anal_yst , Aug 01, 2008 5:52PM
enought with this nonsense!
where is the beer, god damnit, that is the only important question (the answer being not in my hand/liver...yet)
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 8:47PM
You can take the test at
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
I scored 24 and work at UBS, which stands for I Used to Be Smart.
Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 10:44PM
24
Compliance guy (for now, fucking kill me)
Posted by guest , Aug 02, 2008 10:31AM
76 - what a fcuking dumb test!
- The Guy From Delaware
Posted by guest , Aug 02, 2008 11:27AM
I didn't score-typical
Institutional Sales
Posted by guest , Aug 02, 2008 6:24PM
24 - Budget Analyst for huge mid Atlantic state. (Currently planning hostile take-over of New Jersey.)
TOGFD
Posted by guest , Aug 04, 2008 12:25PM
38
- desk-bound wonk.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2008 7:00AM
4. I'm a bulge bracket, prop desk-managing male. I'm clearly too empathic and socially attuned for this job. But I'm great at math...go figure.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2008 9:21AM
24 - lawyer; I telecommute because I'm so bad with people. Clients put up with it because I'm skilled, but they probably wish I weren't such a schmuck.
Posted by guest , Aug 05, 2008 1:43PM
19 - software manager.
just anal enough to get the job done
Posted by guest , Aug 07, 2008 10:15AM
25: banking-monkey-turned-private-equity-monkey
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 5:33PM
9 - sr. executive assistant who is actively job seeking...away from current employer UBS
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 8:10PM
8- BB Research Associate......I guess next stop is sales or PWM