I’m sure it doesn’t come as a shock for me to point out that many of you are socially awkward, often fail to demonstrate empathy for your peers, and are prone to restricted patterns of behavior such as hitting the submit button over and over and over again when trying to comment.* Which is to say, you likely all have a mild to major form of Asperger syndrome. Or do you? Take this quiz and post your results. It would be helpful and add a little more color to the situation if you also told us where you’re employed but no pressure on that end (I’ll just find out by checking your IP. Kidding?).
*Not a criticism, personally, I like it when you do this.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
33
You’re making me hungry, Bess. No I think I may have an assburger for lunch.
A Canadian Asperger’s test? Totally lacking in credibility.
15, lehman brothers.
Ass Purger?
I hope Canadians are better at writing psych tests than they are a running hedge funds, Brian Hunter.
27, not quite there… does this make me like one of those guys with like an 80 IQ when the retarded cutoff is 70?
I clicked the link, over and over again, but the test won’t load. I switched to IE and I clicked some more, and it still won’t load. Overloaded link? I’ll just keep clicking. and clicking. and clicking.
Interestingly enough, the guy that developed this quiz is Ali G’s cousin. Per his IMDB page:
His cousin, Simon Baron-Cohen, is a preeminent psychologist who became famous for his theory that autism is caused by an extreme male brain.
Was going to reply but the server is fried.
I”ve always considered Asperger one of my greatest assets.
Service Temporarily Unavailable
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later.
Regards,
Rain Man
You need to be careful with the type of jeans you wear when you have Asperger syndrome. The wrong cut will make you look fat.
14, which makes me sound rather more socially integrated than I’m sure is accurate.
20!
I work for a hedge fund.
I still hate you all.
I’m not sure if any or all of these data points are related.
29, but as I filled it out I was contemplating how much better I’ve become since I was a scientist, much less since I was an undergrad majoring in math. People in financial services have always seemed socially adept compared to Engineering/Math/Science types. Ha, but then again I’m 3 points from Asperger’s.
13, commodity trader
34.
Apparently I’m autistic.
Good to know.
35
35
15, apparently i am an average woman.
29 – Wachovia, for today at least, c’mon you cracker fucks sell us off already
20
22
-BeckyBootFan
12 – citi
26
18- a woman as an average man…not sure how I feel about this.
16- Lady of Leisure in Training
@ 8, quite possibly
33. Energy.
if you eat too much Asperger doesn’t it make your urine smell funny??
17 – average female scientist. As a male (former) physicist, I always worried that my social skills were holding me back . . .
16 – sales at a bulge bracket
12 – Quant Risk Modeling
19, apparently some people don’t quite understand that being smart is not always 100% correlated with being completely antisocial
17, hf
@ Anal
True. Sometimes it’s also 10% correlated to being ugly
21. computer geek? funny. i majored in amateur pharmacology.
25
Higher than a female scientist.
19 – Lawyer, but as it turns out, should have been a scientist.
8 – Apathetic lawyer
29, mortgage trading
11
8 – Apathetic lawyer
24 – average math contest winner.
I got the math prize at my 8th grade graduation. Suck my dick, anonymous commentariat.
7 – am I brain dead? there is no explanation of scores 12 and below.
HELP! What does this mean?
15, and I bet you can guess what I do. Ouch.
Did you know that 95% of statistics are made up on the spot?
Hey 12:38, I thought it was 75.3%
24 – star of spellbound
Thirty-seven.
So explain to me how I failed college math.
-DK
5, Patrick Bateman in training…err value guy
25 – Portfolio Manager
18–retired scientist, now private investor
14, yoga teacher
-retail
8- doesn’t give description of below 12?
What happens if you’re just really stupid and really anti-social?
@ The engineer
You’re right… according to investorguy
83% according to democratic underground
79.48% according to cnx
I could go on… and on…
wasn’t comfortable taking the test – greeter at Walmart
#57 Backoffice?
16 – student at wharton. seems low though.
12 – Syndicated Loans. We don’t do numbers, we do lunch.
you have to be warped to get hired on Wall Street.
22 – risk arb
of all the things to get blocked at the office that test magically got selected?
Number available later – leader of romper room.
@12:48
You must be making those numbers up.
I have a friend with A.S.
He wont look me in the eye when hes talking to me
I dont trust him
As with most shrink-invented “tests” of this sort, this one is likely 50% bullsh!t, if not more, take it with a grain of salt.
If these results were true, perhaps mortgage trader with a score of 29 and the quant risk modeler with a score 12, together, might just be indicitave of a few problems recently befallen wall street…
Bess you should’ve done VALS testing or IAT
As with most shrink-invented “tests” of this sort, this one is likely 50% bullsh!t, if not more, take it with a grain of salt.
If these results were true, perhaps mortgage trader with a score of 29 and the quant risk modeler with a score 12, together, might just be indicitave of a few problems recently befallen wall street…
22 retail broker
crap my bad for the 2x post, effing IT guy get your sh!t together!
11 – hedge fund equity analyst. my boss has always told me i need more attention to detail…
eeek.. 46.
-physicist at CalTech
17 bikini line waxer. Bess call me.
47…. wow….
Maybe I should see someone
2. is this right??
- Motivational speaker
12. You people are freaks.
-Consultant
24 Average math contest winner–actually did do math contests at the national level in the past and currently work for a laser company. Awesome.
Hey – did anyone notice that comment # 58 was made at 12:48, and that # 59 was made at 12:49? Cool, huh? And the commenter’s score at 12:47, which is 14, when added to the comment number, 55, equals 69! What fun, huh?
@ Sir Anal ~ 68,
I think you might have nailed whats wrong with our crooked street…
@ # 80,
Back to the spreadsheet, you number monkey… and yes its cool how the number just flow like that, but we are not supposed to tell the rest of the people what we see…
laser company is beyond awesome.
-retail
F***ken quiz was from Borat’s cousin scored 35, Bess already knows what i do.
no clue what thats supposed to mean
50
Assburger is a gift. Helps me think instead of wasting time with people.
This is how I proved the Poincaré conjecture which surmises that any closed three-dimensional manifold where any loop can be contracted to a point and that it is really just a three-dimensional sphere.
Grigori Perelman
Commenter 45 got a score of 24, which, when added together equals – tah dah – 69!
freaky geeky
32-HF Summer Intern
21 – crane operator
Very diabolical, this particular best post, and here is the backstory:
Carney: Our sales team wants some additional information to present to advertisers about readers. There is some debate about the quality, and whether they are truly on the Street. Bess I just don’t know what to do! Any ideas?
Bess: A geek test where I ask them their scores, what they do, and where they work.
Carney: Bess, your brilliant, like a young Barbara Stanwyck in “Christmas in Connecticut”. It’s just crazy enough to work and save our asses. But will it?
Bess: I don’t Carney. It’s a chance we have to take. The fate of DB, and our jobs, rests on it.
Carney: I know Bess. I know.
That said, I got a 22, which may or may not explain my unemployedness although I wish I scored high and was perhaps autistic which would land me on 60 minutes for being able to miraculously play symphonic music on the piano while being unable to manage the poop process. Rain Finnegan Man.
“Carney: Bess, *your* brilliant”
but Finnegan is not.
32- mayo eater
Not all bankers are Aspies.
Just the ones that are worth a shit.
20, asset manager.
you’ll find more slightly autistic people in hedge funds than banks, i would imagine.
@92
by asset manager…do you just mean retail broker?
94:
no, i’m buy-side so i don’t have to deal with humans. too many of them are cocksuckers. Like you (no offence)
ahhh but is the cocksucker the “callee”…or the “caller”
25, lawyer.
7 – DC Lawyer
11; atheist attorney.
Never trust a guy who can count to 1024 on his fingers.
–Calgary Schmooze
36, commercial finance lawyer.
Second the “ask the hedgies” comment.
7, Marine
35, Patent attorney.
I couldn’t get the piepalace test to work. Does anyone have the list of rankings and what each means?
Grassyass.
24; mensa member, playing sudoku at the moment, just waiting for happy hour.
access forbidden-i must work at GS
I clicked the link and got 404. And an error. I work at a port or something
enought with this nonsense!
where is the beer, god damnit, that is the only important question (the answer being not in my hand/liver…yet)
You can take the test at
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html
I scored 24 and work at UBS, which stands for I Used to Be Smart.
24
Compliance guy (for now, fucking kill me)
76 – what a fcuking dumb test!
- The Guy From Delaware
I didn’t score-typical
Institutional Sales
24 – Budget Analyst for huge mid Atlantic state. (Currently planning hostile take-over of New Jersey.)
TOGFD
38
- desk-bound wonk.
4. I’m a bulge bracket, prop desk-managing male. I’m clearly too empathic and socially attuned for this job. But I’m great at math…go figure.
24 – lawyer; I telecommute because I’m so bad with people. Clients put up with it because I’m skilled, but they probably wish I weren’t such a schmuck.
19 – software manager.
just anal enough to get the job done
25: banking-monkey-turned-private-equity-monkey
9 – sr. executive assistant who is actively job seeking…away from current employer UBS
8- BB Research Associate……I guess next stop is sales or PWM
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