Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:15AM

I'm not going to believe it until DB publishes the email.

Signed,
The Guy Who Doesn't believe Things Until DB Publishes the E-Mail.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:20AM

Having worked for Ben, sounds like a thing he would do. Good luck to all those analysts who work all-nighters and have to be back in at 9. Glad I got out.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:21AM

i can has tardienuss

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:22AM

I'm never late; I print hours!

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:26AM

Does Ben still schedule Sunday afternoon meetings at a "dance club" in Manhattan that starts with S and ends with C O R E S or is that just legend from when his team was at Citi? Just asking.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:38AM

I'm not going to believe it until we see a picture of Bess.

Signed,
The Guy Who Doesn't believe Things Until DB Publishes A Picture of Bess

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:39AM

ben is a total asshole

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:39AM

Lorello is a psychopath.

No, really. His picture is used to illustrate "Psychopath" in the reference standard Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Look it up if you don't believe me.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:40AM

ben is a total asshole

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:40AM

ben is a total asshole

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:41AM

ben is a total asshole

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:41AM

ben is a total asshole

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:41AM

can someone give some more details on this lorello guy? yes, he sounds like an asshole, but any more interesting dirt?

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:42AM

Behind every great corporate empire they say, lies a filthy-rich investment banker. For HealthSouth, that banker is Ben Lorello, a brash Wall Street kingpin. Though HealthSouth is most closely associated with its recently deposed CEO and founder, Richard Scrushy, Wall Street insiders say the long arm of Lorello held considerable sway over the company.

Lorello heads UBS Warburg's health-care investment banking group. Wall Streeters say he and his partner William McGahan, who resigned suddenly on April 10, are the kinds of bankers who give bankers a bad name (that's saying something). In other words, they're fee-hungry, not particularly concerned about investors, and often ill-tempered. McGahan is known for his short fuse, Lorello for his insults (the latter was once overheard saying, in his gravelly monotone, "If you were a stock, I'd short you").

http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2003/04/28/341721/index.htm

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:42AM

Behind every great corporate empire they say, lies a filthy-rich investment banker. For HealthSouth, that banker is Ben Lorello, a brash Wall Street kingpin. Though HealthSouth is most closely associated with its recently deposed CEO and founder, Richard Scrushy, Wall Street insiders say the long arm of Lorello held considerable sway over the company.

Lorello heads UBS Warburg's health-care investment banking group. Wall Streeters say he and his partner William McGahan, who resigned suddenly on April 10, are the kinds of bankers who give bankers a bad name (that's saying something). In other words, they're fee-hungry, not particularly concerned about investors, and often ill-tempered. McGahan is known for his short fuse, Lorello for his insults (the latter was once overheard saying, in his gravelly monotone, "If you were a stock, I'd short you").

http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2003/04/28/341721/index.htm

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:44AM

from the fortune article: "Lorello, who has been known to sport Master of the Universe attire, circa 1986 (dress shirts replete with French cuffs and English collars), came to UBS in 1999 for a reported three-year pay package worth $70 million."

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:48AM

"Mr. Lorello got an M.B.A. from Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He did a stint at Lehman Brothers and in 1985 started a health-care investment-banking practice for Smith Barney, before that firm was merged with Salomon Brothers and became part of Citigroup Inc.

Associates recall him bringing a street fighter's tenacity to winning deals. He called subordinates "the family," a former colleague says, and so enjoyed impersonating "Godfather" Vito Corleone that he would superimpose his face over the don's in client presentations. UBS says that he uses the word "team," not "family."

http://bear.cba.ufl.edu/karceski/FIN7447/WSJ%20Spring%202004/WSJ%20072604.html

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:49AM

"He called subordinates "the family," a former colleague says, and so enjoyed impersonating "Godfather" Vito Corleone that he would superimpose his face over the don's in client presentations. UBS says that he uses the word "team," not "family."

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:52AM

Just make sure you sign out at 5:00.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:03PM

"UBS says that he uses the word "team," not "family."

As in " I am spending the holidays with my team?"

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:05PM

No, as in "Bend over and take it for the team."

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:25PM

why is it nobody has wondered aloud why it is so fucking hard to make it to work by NINE am? Do you guys work in banks or fucking dress shops??

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:31PM

I work for a dress shop and we get in at 8:30 thank you very much.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:33PM

To #26 - you try to get to work at 9AM after being at work until 5AM.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:40PM

best DB headline of the summer? i think so

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:42PM

obviously there should be exceptions, but cripes. I had a roommate who was an associate back in the day who would justify going in at 10 because he had stayed until 8 the night before. And he only did that so he could get a free dinner lol...

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:54PM

an *mba* from MIT? Is that like a liberal arts degree from Harvard? what's the point?

oh...of course. he gets to put MIT on his resume.

yo, ben! it says here you went to MIT. you one of dem rocket scientists?

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:59PM

my md's could use a rule like... their 10:30 - 3:30 days really don't do much for my morale, or our revenues

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 12:59PM

18/19 - i'm going to start peppering my everyday speech with "if you were a stock, i'd short you"

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:13PM

Definitely true, business managers are taking attendence at least of analysts, and aparently analysts can be fired after their third time late. I know several people who are significantly worried about this policy.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:17PM

Dress shop? You talking about SAC?

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:18PM

Guess what - because you are employed by will you can be fired anytime. Don't have to be late.

Especially in a down-market.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:21PM

I used to come at 9:15-9:30. I would like to see them enforcing the rule.

How about ED's and D's playing golf during business hours or hangover people in mediation rooms?

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:22PM

I just got in...

~LexSteelz

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:26PM

Ken Moelis - that was a brilliant guy at UBS... Too bad he left the firm. Apparently, all Wharton grads were kicked out after that

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:26PM

We got an email from our staffer reminding us that work began promptly at 9am, and that we were to email if we were going to be late.

After a late night, I emailed, staffer responded with "why are you emailing me."

Go UBS.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:30PM

Who cares what time people get in at UBS as long as the deck chairs are in order? Go Titanic!

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:32PM

If you were a stork I'd tattoo you!

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:37PM

I do agree with Anal_yst's sentiment.

But Bear Stearns had the same policy, circa 2004, in an effort to make it 'leaner'. I personally know that some MDs got the axe for 2 lateness marks.

They did stupid shit even then.

But I'm in here at 7:30.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 1:38PM

During my summer internship at UBS Healthcare, they were pitching business in Argentina, so Ben Lorello had me make changes all weekend long to the pitchbook, and then told me to fly down there to bring them with me. At first I got excited that I was going, but then Ben clarified: "You're just bringing the books. You're not staying. Book the soonest flight out after you get in."

I was on the ground for maybe 2 hours. Not that I was complaining - the 13-hour flight there and back was more sleep than I got all week.

I'm telling you, that's a terrible place...it's the same sweatshop that produced this gem:
http://www.dealbreaker.com/2007/09/that_ubs_banker_new_foe_heard_1.php

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:05PM

31 - MIT has easily one of the top MBA programs in the country, alongside Chicago, Stanford, and Wharton. But I expect wouldn't know that because you're not good enough to get in anywhere, even a shithole like Harvard or Yale. Good luck with that University of Phoenix associate degree!

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:09PM

@ 47 - you are easily one of the top douchebags in the country, alongside ben lorello, mayo and and john carney.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:46PM

I was late because I went to see the Miley Cyrus movie, twice.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 2:55PM

You spend your whole late childhood wanting to be a grown-up and then when you're a grown-up, you find out that adult life can be more regimented than childhood.

Those stuck with a Ben Lorello for a boss have my sympathy.

Is there any evidence to suggest that imposing a one-size-fits-all work schedule on everyone leads to greater productivity?

Or is it just another perk for control freaks who have risen to a position of power?

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:10PM

NO investment banker starts his day promptly at 9 am. Getting the work done is all that matters, and most I know come in around 10 am (with working past midnight, but that's standard). UBS is going down, and Lorello sounds like an insecure douche (pretty much like all MD's with a complex of getting picked on early in life and finally making it).

26 - go suck it.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 3:16PM

"A company would tell me they were doing a deal," says a health-care analyst at a major New York hedge fund, "and I would say to management, 'Please tell me you aren't doing it with Ben Lorello.' Everything he touched blew up"

Why do companies continue to deal with him and how does he still have a job? He deserves a beat-down.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 4:38PM

he does it because he can. And he will do so until he can't. And I'll be damned if I'm working until 3am to get something out the door that my happy arse will be sitting in the office bright eyed/bushy tailed at 9a-fckin-m.

Posted by guest , Aug 01, 2008 11:15PM

Really don't understand these UBS bankers. I mean, these guys still have to call themselves a "Bulge Bracket player" in order to feel secure. They have always had a big chip on their shoulders even before the writedowns.

How often do you hear a Goldman, Morgan Stanley, or a JP Morgan banker calling themselves "Bulge Bracket"? Even the Deutsche bankers I come across possess more confidence than many UBS operatives.

I think part of the reason maybe that many current UBS bankers came from DLJ (no offence to those who hailed from Credit Suisse First Boston) and they were a lowly firm that specialised in high-yield debts. Hence the big chip on their shoulders.

On the other hand, many of the Deutsche bankers I have come across had spent time at Merrill, Goldman, Citi, and Credit Suisse.

Posted by guest , Aug 02, 2008 1:16PM

Ah but the rule has now been modified. It's now ok to come in as late as 9:05 or 9:10. There is no more official "attendance" and analysts were asked to let all their friends at other firms know that the attendance rule is no longer in effect. Although it was made clear that tardiness past 9:15 was still being watched and could result in getting fired. Gotta love it...

Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 12:26AM

Ah. And I am going to commit suicide at exactly 3 PM this coming Tuesday. Arrivederci.

Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 10:30AM

Ben should probably run "beauty care", which is not unrelated to healthcare from what w see of their analyst's coverage quality. Sorry, that's right..may require changing firms. Might suggest L'Oreal, apparently have a great foundation

Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 10:34AM

Sure, but think this dates, psycho-wise, from when he was dating Ferri. Only difference was that showup deadline was 9 (pm) vs (am)

Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 10:45AM

Looks like dirt about to come out on UBS Global Asset Management soon re risk taking.. again. this time re the FoF business. Next stop, Albania

Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 3:45PM

Don't forget to pick up your bathroom pass at the staffer's desk. Ben would also like to remind you of the 5 minute pee break policy.

Posted by guest , Aug 03, 2008 4:33PM

if only new what Mom what doing at 9 am

Posted by guest , Aug 04, 2008 12:03AM

do these guys ever wonder who's banging their wives?

Posted by guest , Aug 04, 2008 5:27AM

@63 I am banging their wives.... then I stagger into the office sometime past 10 am, drop my keys on the table, and wonder off for a cappuchino and to read the paper.

I log in to the network about 11.15, then take the unfinished paper, a pen and go have a dump until i either finish the crossword or get numb legs, whichever is first.

I then go for lunch at about 12.30, until 14.00... then in the afternoon I check which emails I can delegate to juniors to action.

In between all this of course, I hit the street 4 or 5 times for a smoke.

My desk phone is on permanent default redirect to my BB, and all emails from my BB have the same auto sig as my desktop.

UBS really wouldnt suit my style and experience...plus I hear the pay is crap..

Life in a bear market can be good too...

Posted by guest , Aug 04, 2008 7:54AM

does that mean they can leave at 5pm?