Ben Lorello, head of UBS Healthcare, has supposedly started taking attendance and “demanded” that everyone, even MDs, be in at 9 a.m. or be marked late (“even one minute late”).
- 01 Aug 2008 at 11:12 AM
- Posted in:
UBS
Your Tardy Ass Will Not Be Tolerated At UBS
Fraud, Money Losing Begin Promptly At Nine A.M.
By Bess Levin Tags: UBS
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be in at 9 am ARE they are marked late.
I be good at words?
I’m not going to believe it until DB publishes the email.
Signed,
The Guy Who Doesn’t believe Things Until DB Publishes the E-Mail.
“Marked Late”
Is this a supposedly bulge bracket investment bank or the 3rd grade?
Having worked for Ben, sounds like a thing he would do. Good luck to all those analysts who work all-nighters and have to be back in at 9. Glad I got out.
i can has tardienuss
I’m never late; I print hours!
Does Ben still schedule Sunday afternoon meetings at a “dance club” in Manhattan that starts with S and ends with C O R E S or is that just legend from when his team was at Citi? Just asking.
Ben is a foul person who is very small minded…
Will this late mark be entered on my permanent record? I’ve got a few incidents from recess that I still can’t escape!
I’m not going to believe it until we see a picture of Bess.
Signed,
The Guy Who Doesn’t believe Things Until DB Publishes A Picture of Bess
ben is a total asshole
Lorello is a psychopath.
No, really. His picture is used to illustrate “Psychopath” in the reference standard Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
Look it up if you don’t believe me.
ben is a total asshole
ben is a total asshole
ben is a total asshole
ben is a total asshole
can someone give some more details on this lorello guy? yes, he sounds like an asshole, but any more interesting dirt?
Behind every great corporate empire they say, lies a filthy-rich investment banker. For HealthSouth, that banker is Ben Lorello, a brash Wall Street kingpin. Though HealthSouth is most closely associated with its recently deposed CEO and founder, Richard Scrushy, Wall Street insiders say the long arm of Lorello held considerable sway over the company.
Lorello heads UBS Warburg’s health-care investment banking group. Wall Streeters say he and his partner William McGahan, who resigned suddenly on April 10, are the kinds of bankers who give bankers a bad name (that’s saying something). In other words, they’re fee-hungry, not particularly concerned about investors, and often ill-tempered. McGahan is known for his short fuse, Lorello for his insults (the latter was once overheard saying, in his gravelly monotone, “If you were a stock, I’d short you”).
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2003/04/28/341721/index.htm
Behind every great corporate empire they say, lies a filthy-rich investment banker. For HealthSouth, that banker is Ben Lorello, a brash Wall Street kingpin. Though HealthSouth is most closely associated with its recently deposed CEO and founder, Richard Scrushy, Wall Street insiders say the long arm of Lorello held considerable sway over the company.
Lorello heads UBS Warburg’s health-care investment banking group. Wall Streeters say he and his partner William McGahan, who resigned suddenly on April 10, are the kinds of bankers who give bankers a bad name (that’s saying something). In other words, they’re fee-hungry, not particularly concerned about investors, and often ill-tempered. McGahan is known for his short fuse, Lorello for his insults (the latter was once overheard saying, in his gravelly monotone, “If you were a stock, I’d short you”).
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2003/04/28/341721/index.htm
from the fortune article: “Lorello, who has been known to sport Master of the Universe attire, circa 1986 (dress shirts replete with French cuffs and English collars), came to UBS in 1999 for a reported three-year pay package worth $70 million.”
“Mr. Lorello got an M.B.A. from Massachusetts Institute of Technology. He did a stint at Lehman Brothers and in 1985 started a health-care investment-banking practice for Smith Barney, before that firm was merged with Salomon Brothers and became part of Citigroup Inc.
Associates recall him bringing a street fighter’s tenacity to winning deals. He called subordinates “the family,” a former colleague says, and so enjoyed impersonating “Godfather” Vito Corleone that he would superimpose his face over the don’s in client presentations. UBS says that he uses the word “team,” not “family.”
http://bear.cba.ufl.edu/karceski/FIN7447/WSJ%20Spring%202004/WSJ%20072604.html
“He called subordinates “the family,” a former colleague says, and so enjoyed impersonating “Godfather” Vito Corleone that he would superimpose his face over the don’s in client presentations. UBS says that he uses the word “team,” not “family.”
Just make sure you sign out at 5:00.
“UBS says that he uses the word “team,” not “family.”
As in ” I am spending the holidays with my team?”
No, as in “Bend over and take it for the team.”
why is it nobody has wondered aloud why it is so fucking hard to make it to work by NINE am? Do you guys work in banks or fucking dress shops??
I work for a dress shop and we get in at 8:30 thank you very much.
To #26 – you try to get to work at 9AM after being at work until 5AM.
best DB headline of the summer? i think so
obviously there should be exceptions, but cripes. I had a roommate who was an associate back in the day who would justify going in at 10 because he had stayed until 8 the night before. And he only did that so he could get a free dinner lol…
an *mba* from MIT? Is that like a liberal arts degree from Harvard? what’s the point?
oh…of course. he gets to put MIT on his resume.
yo, ben! it says here you went to MIT. you one of dem rocket scientists?
my md’s could use a rule like… their 10:30 – 3:30 days really don’t do much for my morale, or our revenues
18/19 – i’m going to start peppering my everyday speech with “if you were a stock, i’d short you”
Definitely true, business managers are taking attendence at least of analysts, and aparently analysts can be fired after their third time late. I know several people who are significantly worried about this policy.
Dress shop? You talking about SAC?
Guess what – because you are employed by will you can be fired anytime. Don’t have to be late.
Especially in a down-market.
I used to come at 9:15-9:30. I would like to see them enforcing the rule.
How about ED’s and D’s playing golf during business hours or hangover people in mediation rooms?
I just got in…
~LexSteelz
Lateness policy is retarded, who gives a rats ass when you come in if you get your work done?
Oh, excuse me for allowing myself to drift into reality, now back to our regularly scheduled world of banking, you know the one, where the voice of reason is notably absent.
Ken Moelis – that was a brilliant guy at UBS… Too bad he left the firm. Apparently, all Wharton grads were kicked out after that
We got an email from our staffer reminding us that work began promptly at 9am, and that we were to email if we were going to be late.
After a late night, I emailed, staffer responded with “why are you emailing me.”
Go UBS.
Who cares what time people get in at UBS as long as the deck chairs are in order? Go Titanic!
If you were a stork I’d tattoo you!
what if you are egret watching? then is noon acceptable?
I do agree with Anal_yst’s sentiment.
But Bear Stearns had the same policy, circa 2004, in an effort to make it ‘leaner’. I personally know that some MDs got the axe for 2 lateness marks.
They did stupid shit even then.
But I’m in here at 7:30.
During my summer internship at UBS Healthcare, they were pitching business in Argentina, so Ben Lorello had me make changes all weekend long to the pitchbook, and then told me to fly down there to bring them with me. At first I got excited that I was going, but then Ben clarified: “You’re just bringing the books. You’re not staying. Book the soonest flight out after you get in.”
I was on the ground for maybe 2 hours. Not that I was complaining – the 13-hour flight there and back was more sleep than I got all week.
I’m telling you, that’s a terrible place…it’s the same sweatshop that produced this gem:
http://www.dealbreaker.com/2007/09/that_ubs_banker_new_foe_heard_1.php
31 – MIT has easily one of the top MBA programs in the country, alongside Chicago, Stanford, and Wharton. But I expect wouldn’t know that because you’re not good enough to get in anywhere, even a shithole like Harvard or Yale. Good luck with that University of Phoenix associate degree!
@ 47 – you are easily one of the top douchebags in the country, alongside ben lorello, mayo and and john carney.
41: I really hope that you replied, “Oh, I thought we were to email you if we were late leaving.” Bonus points if you got others to do this when they left late.
I was late because I went to see the Miley Cyrus movie, twice.
You spend your whole late childhood wanting to be a grown-up and then when you’re a grown-up, you find out that adult life can be more regimented than childhood.
Those stuck with a Ben Lorello for a boss have my sympathy.
Is there any evidence to suggest that imposing a one-size-fits-all work schedule on everyone leads to greater productivity?
Or is it just another perk for control freaks who have risen to a position of power?
NO investment banker starts his day promptly at 9 am. Getting the work done is all that matters, and most I know come in around 10 am (with working past midnight, but that’s standard). UBS is going down, and Lorello sounds like an insecure douche (pretty much like all MD’s with a complex of getting picked on early in life and finally making it).
26 – go suck it.
“A company would tell me they were doing a deal,” says a health-care analyst at a major New York hedge fund, “and I would say to management, ‘Please tell me you aren’t doing it with Ben Lorello.’ Everything he touched blew up”
Why do companies continue to deal with him and how does he still have a job? He deserves a beat-down.
he does it because he can. And he will do so until he can’t. And I’ll be damned if I’m working until 3am to get something out the door that my happy arse will be sitting in the office bright eyed/bushy tailed at 9a-fckin-m.
Really don’t understand these UBS bankers. I mean, these guys still have to call themselves a “Bulge Bracket player” in order to feel secure. They have always had a big chip on their shoulders even before the writedowns.
How often do you hear a Goldman, Morgan Stanley, or a JP Morgan banker calling themselves “Bulge Bracket”? Even the Deutsche bankers I come across possess more confidence than many UBS operatives.
I think part of the reason maybe that many current UBS bankers came from DLJ (no offence to those who hailed from Credit Suisse First Boston) and they were a lowly firm that specialised in high-yield debts. Hence the big chip on their shoulders.
On the other hand, many of the Deutsche bankers I have come across had spent time at Merrill, Goldman, Citi, and Credit Suisse.
Ah but the rule has now been modified. It’s now ok to come in as late as 9:05 or 9:10. There is no more official “attendance” and analysts were asked to let all their friends at other firms know that the attendance rule is no longer in effect. Although it was made clear that tardiness past 9:15 was still being watched and could result in getting fired. Gotta love it…
Ah. And I am going to commit suicide at exactly 3 PM this coming Tuesday. Arrivederci.
Ben should probably run “beauty care”, which is not unrelated to healthcare from what w see of their analyst’s coverage quality. Sorry, that’s right..may require changing firms. Might suggest L’Oreal, apparently have a great foundation
Sure, but think this dates, psycho-wise, from when he was dating Ferri. Only difference was that showup deadline was 9 (pm) vs (am)
Looks like dirt about to come out on UBS Global Asset Management soon re risk taking.. again. this time re the FoF business. Next stop, Albania
Don’t forget to pick up your bathroom pass at the staffer’s desk. Ben would also like to remind you of the 5 minute pee break policy.
if only new what Mom what doing at 9 am
do these guys ever wonder who’s banging their wives?
@63 I am banging their wives…. then I stagger into the office sometime past 10 am, drop my keys on the table, and wonder off for a cappuchino and to read the paper.
I log in to the network about 11.15, then take the unfinished paper, a pen and go have a dump until i either finish the crossword or get numb legs, whichever is first.
I then go for lunch at about 12.30, until 14.00… then in the afternoon I check which emails I can delegate to juniors to action.
In between all this of course, I hit the street 4 or 5 times for a smoke.
My desk phone is on permanent default redirect to my BB, and all emails from my BB have the same auto sig as my desktop.
UBS really wouldnt suit my style and experience…plus I hear the pay is crap..
Life in a bear market can be good too…
does that mean they can leave at 5pm?