Fire Up Your TiVos: This Is The One We've Been Waiting For

Posted by Bess Levin, Sep 05, 2008, 10:57am

samisraelbcard.JPG

Holy fucking hell I can barely type this as I am shaking in excitement and definitely suffering from a decrease in oxygen to the brain as a result of hyperventilating-inducing euphoria. Tonight, at 10 PM, Dateline will be airing "The Mystery of the Missing Millionaire," a special about SAM ISRAEL! I'm truly beside myself. As it would be a fool's mission to try and not get our hopes up, we expect tonight's show to include the following:

- B-roll of the egret and interviewer walking down the street

- An interview with a sex therapist who specializes in interspecies intercourse

- A Dealbreaker shout-out!

- An interview with the trollop who outbid us for the b-card.

- An eyewitness account of the industry's biggest M*A*S*H fan escaping the second time around.

- YOUR CALL

HOPEFULLY UNRELATED: Not Enough Cock, Coke or Money: The Few Things That Didn't Suck about CNBC's Seth Tobias Special

An all-new Dateline Friday 10 p.m./9 C [MSNBC]

0Recommend this! 72Comments

Tags: Bayou Group, birds, Sam Israel, Samuel Israel III

Comments

1

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 10:58AM

MAYO!

2

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:03AM

Curb your enthusiasm. Remember the last murder mystery special.....

The Buzz Killer

3

Posted by Bess Levin, Sep 05, 2008 11:09AM

@Buzz-- I know, but I can't. I'm a hopeless romantic for this stuff.

4

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:14AM

whats associate pay?

5

Posted by Anal_yst, Sep 05, 2008 11:14AM

oh.my.god. Anyone know how to work TiVo-2-go????

6

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:20AM

I'm hoping to see a taxidermied egret as one of the items the marshalls seized.

Bess please go start writing for ATL as well...they need ya! "Holy fucking hell..."

7

Posted by nybasic, Sep 05, 2008 11:22AM

Are you kidding me!?!?! I had no idea this was coming on!!!!! I'll be glued to the TV at 9:59.

8

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:25AM

Is Bess hot? Are there pictures of her online?

-HEDGEmony

9

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:30AM

8,

more cute than hot, kind of like E.T.

10

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:30AM

Perhaps Alan Alda waxing rhapsodic about the good old days when war was banging nurses and getting tanked on homemade booze in your tent/bungalow/hooch.

-BeckyBootFan

ps - happy belated birthday Bess!

11

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:31AM

Yes #8, I forget the URL, I remember it had girl, and cup in it

12

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:32AM

first the egret, then Ospraie. what's the next bird inspired fund to go "beak up"?

13

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:33AM

BeckyBootFan-- brilliant and i hope you're right!

14

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:33AM

BeckyBootFan-- brilliant and i hope you're right!

15

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:37AM

So hot when Bess types dirty-gets me going.

16

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:39AM

@15- what was dirty about this?

17

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:49AM

Worthless without links.

If it helps you give me a better idea, I'm more of a Trish Regan than Erin Burnett man.

-HEDGEmony

18

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:49AM

does anyone know the name of the egret?

19

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:49AM

does anyone know the name of the egret?

20

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:50AM

does anyone know the name of the egret?

21

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 11:52AM

Hedge,
I've got no idea what she looks like, I haven't seen a picture of her since she waxed her 'stache.

22

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:09PM

someone put up a link that has a pic of her. Carney's ugly mug plastered all over the damn place...ok that's an exagerration but someone get pic of Bess

23

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:11PM

there was one in a towel a while back

24

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:17PM

where?

25

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:25PM

Link plz

-HEDGEmony

26

Posted by TheUpwardlyMob, Sep 05, 2008 12:33PM

HEDGEmony, you're becoming tiresome.

Please get laid this weekend.

27

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:51PM

#26 Would you rather discuss Mayo you stupid fuck?

28

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:52PM

- HEDGEmony

29

Posted by TheUpwardlyMob, Sep 05, 2008 12:55PM

No, but the mayo dude is totally hopeless. You don't seem like an unredeemable dweeb, yet.

30

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 12:56PM

Hey @27, nothing wrong with talking about mayo you salad tossing asshole.

31

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 1:08PM

@8 - Totally. Let me put it this way - If someone tried to hurl a batwing at her, I'd step in the way in an effort to preserve her purity.

I also hear that Sam will sustain multiple egretwings to the face as part of his sentence.

Totally.

32

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 1:20PM

@HEDGEmony

There's a reason why I call Bess My Silly Little Freak. Call me with your email and I will send you a few pics. 212-334-1871


SPODE

33

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 1:44PM

I can almost hear Bess getting moist over this series.

34

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 1:56PM

just someone link to a damn pic...enough with four play already

35

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 1:58PM

34 et all: its all over the web. Just Google Bess Levin

36

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 1:59PM

34 et all: its all over the web. Just Google Bess Levin

37

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:02PM

it's a motherfucking pelican!

38

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:02PM

it's a motherfucking pelican!

39

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:07PM

I have and there is nothing that says it's her just pictures and an article or so...what about the pic on Going Private?

40

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:08PM

this show is going to be off the hook

41

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:08PM

this show is going to be off the hook

42

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:10PM

this show is going to be off the hook

44

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:16PM

do you think they'll get the egret to cry?

45

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:16PM

do you think they'll get the egret to cry?

46

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:17PM

do you think they'll get the egret to cry?

47

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:17PM

do you think they'll get the egret to cry?

48

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:18PM

yes

49

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:18PM

yes

50

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:19PM

yes

51

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 2:19PM

yes

52

Posted by NotNasser, Sep 05, 2008 2:24PM

According to my inside sources (I know a guy who claims he knows a gal who has a cousin who once dated a cameraman for Dateline) -- the big scvene is an effort to re-enact the jump that never was.

They throw a dummy off the Bear Mountain Bridge.

The dummy is grabbing monopoly money and, due to a voice synthesizer, is singing the theme from MASH on the way down.

53

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:01PM

SPODE,

That's not her.

54

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:09PM

yeah didn't thinks so...that's a pic from some movie.

55

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:09PM

There is a pic of her in a towel...cape cod 07. Can't remember who posted the link...I don't have it anymore.

56

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:12PM

and one from her birthday. great lips.

57

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:14PM

The pic from Superman fools the new ones all the time. I've said it before: Bess reportedly graduated from Pingry, a day school in NJ. Next time, on their way to the Far Hills Hunt, someone should stop by the local library and flip through the old Pingry yearbooks.

58

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:18PM

She can't be hot, trying to be smart is the number one indicator of a woman trying to compensate for not being pretty.


-HEDGEmony

59

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:24PM

@57 Pingry is in Martinsville, not Far Hills.

60

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:26PM

@HEDGEmoney-- do you have OCD? have you done anything else but obsess over this all day? And has someone who's met her, I can tell you you're wrong. Perhaps you should go that route and determine for yourself. or just continue your inner monologue all day.

61

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:26PM

I knew it was in that direction, so I said "on their way". Douche.

62

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:46PM

agreed with 60, on all counts.

63

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 3:52PM

well...that's wonderful. 62 agrees with 60. Now my day makes sense.

64

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 4:09PM

@63 (HEDGEmoney) it should, since this has been your singular pursuit today. seriously, you've put so much time into this, see it through to completion.

-- 62.

65

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 4:17PM

actually 63 is not HEDGEmoney. I was 53 and 55. So is 62 and 60 the same? You agreed with yourself on all counts? See how dumb that is?

66

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 4:22PM

no, i'm not 60

-62/64

67

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 4:24PM

where would one find the CC and b'day?

68

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 5:09PM

@HEDGEmony- i'm sure if you ply her with hf tips she'll agree to a drink.

69

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 5:26PM

yeah, HEDGEmony, man the fuck up. (and give us details)

70

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 8:18PM

Bess wanna get a drink sometime? Milk & Honey my treat.

-HEDGEmony

71

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 8:25PM

P.S. Fuckers, it's not HEDGE money

it's a play off of the word hegemony
he·ge·mo·ny
Pronunciation:
\hi-ˈje-mə-nē, -ˈge-; ˈhe-jə-ˌmō-nē\

1 : preponderant influence or authority over others : domination

2 : A concept of Italian Marxist Antonio Gramsci (1891-1937) which refers to the way that the political and social domination of the bourgeois class in capitalist society is pervasively expressed not only in ideologies but in all realms of culture and social organization.

72

Posted by guest, Sep 05, 2008 9:03PM

@HEDGEmony doubt BL will see your invite-- should probs e-mail her (and give us details).

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