I realize we shouldn’t expect much from the brain trust that is Congress, but it’s extremely alarming that they may pass this bailout package with asking the most important question of all first. A watchful Dealbreaker reader points out that no one seems to be concerned with the logistics of the drop. Specifically, how many helicopters would The Helicopter need to distribute the $700 billion, and at what additional cost? $100 = 1 gram. 454 grams = 1 pound. $700 billion in hundos (that’s how The Beard and Bald roll) = 15,418,502 lbs. It seems that the biggest readily available helicopter is the CH-53 SUPER STALLION. Payload = 37,000 lbs. Bald, Beard, and the Balardettes will need 482 (…or 48.2 and 10 days) of these babies to distribute the $700 billion. And who’s going to foot THAT bill? They’re primarily used by the military and let’s be honest– they could use the money and are probably going to take us for a ride. We’d be better off using one of those guns that shoots tee-shirts at sporting events. You know the ones I’m talking about.
Bess I love you.
1st! Sham-wow,,,, Mayo, and diddnt read!
Hell with a chopper…
B-52 Stratafortress….carpet bomb it…
CHARLIE DON’T SURF!
Too long, didn’t read.
Maybe while the tooth fairy and the easter bunny are giggling with glee about all the return the government is going to see, they can make the drop. I’m sure George W has them on standby.
shut up @4.
Kilgore: Smell that? You smell that?
Lance: What?
Kilgore: Napalm, son. Nothing in the world smells like that.
[kneels]
Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all over, I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one stinkin’ dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like… victory. Someday this war’s gonna end…
@6
“shut”
… Stopped reading right there.
Maybe the tooth fairy and the easter bunny can take a break from conjuring up these alleged returns the bailout is going to produce and make the drop. Last I heard George W had them on standby.
I’m completely against the tee-shirt guns. Those things are too dangerous. They killed Maude Flanders!
@7….
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I’ll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!
put up the old one with “warning you cannot actually prevent recession” warning on it.
These are times we could use some Russian help. Vlad? This here is GW, I’m here with Ben, can I put you on speaker?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mil_Mi-26
Bess, classic picture. Classic.
drop some on Fuld’s lawn… see if he scurries out of his lair like a stunned mole …. whack him with a 2×4 …. string him up in Times Square like they did in Old London with perverts and petty thieves
@15 = LEH employee (fmr.)
Is Steve Schwarzman still a “HOT TOPIC” worth of a headline link? Bess, can’t you change that to, say, HANK P?
This website is spiraling out of control. O/U on six months?
o/u on when you can leave, 18?
Where is the Clay Aiken action figure?
@20…up someone’s ass.
@21…only if by “action figure”, #20 meant penis…
@11,
(from the movie) Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.
(from the real speech)
“Men, this stuff that some sources sling around about America wanting out of this war, not wanting to fight, is a crock of bullshit. Americans love to fight, traditionally. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. You are here today for three reasons.
First, because you are here to defend your homes and your loved ones.
Second, you are here for your own self respect, because you would not want to be anywhere else.
Third, you are here because you are real men and all real men like to fight.
When you, here, everyone of you, were kids, you all admired the champion marble player, the fastest runner, the toughest boxer, the big league ball players, and the All-American football players. Americans love a winner. Americans will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise cowards.
Americans play to win all of the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost nor will ever lose a war; for the very idea of losing is hateful to an American.”
Can’t they just wire the money?
T-Shirt gun! Awesome!
How about a 2 week orgy of Hooter’s Girls getting driven around Mid-town and Wall in a limo shooting million dollar loads out of the sun roof?
@24 – That’s rich. Next you’ll want to be able to trade stocks without going to the NYSE trading floor.
I have nothing but love for this plan.
–8888888 ————88888888888
88888888888——-8888888888888
888888888888—–88888888888888
8888888888888-888888888888888
-888888888888888888888888888
–8888888888888888888888888
—-8888888888888888888888
——88888888888888888888
——–888888888888888888
———-8888888888888888
———–88888888888888
————–88888888888
—————-888888888
——————8888888
——————–88888
SPODE
Who who who is going to pay for this plan?
(\___/)
(o\ /o)
//:.v.:\
\\::::://
—–`”" “”`—–
~~^~^~^~^^~~^^^~^
SPODE
Of course, $700B could also buy you 77,864,293,660 12-Packs of cold beer @ 8.99 each …
At 10 pounds, 8 ounces each (beer+cans+carton), that’s about 408,787,542 tons of beer …
… or the weight equivalent of 7,048 fully loaded Iowa Class Battleships (such as the USS Missouri)
You could also drop $10,000 cashier checks instead and use the same or similar process … however, the resulting density mass would bend light.
@10
Great reference
Another perspective, GDP of Australia.
http://encarta.msn.com/fact_631504716/Australia_Facts_and_Figures.html
@ 12 – nicely stated
I think I put $120 in Erin Callan’s g-string last night at Cheetah… that leaves $699,999,999,880… that just won’t do it
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS POST ROCKS.
BESS, I’M HANDSOME, NICE, AND HAVE A SWEET BODY, CAN WE GET MARRIED?
Another great war movie quote…
“I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister.”
-BeckyBootFan
No, use the Air Force. They have the HH-53B/C “Super Jolly Green Giant” plus “the Air Force never sleeps.” *
*General “Buck” Turgidson
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee (Tom Cruise): I think I’m entitled to them.
Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth!
Jessep: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like honor, code, loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ‘em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!
Kaffee: Did you order the code red?
Jessep: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.
Kaffee: Did you order the code red?
Jessep: You’re goddamn right I did!!
Thank you Bess, as a former Ranger now on Wall Street this made my day. And believe me, we used this bitch to bring hell on earth to many, many motherfuckers during OIF. HOOAH.
Thank you Bess, as a former Ranger now on Wall Street this made my day. And believe me, we used this bitch to bring hell on earth to many, many motherfuckers during OIF. HOOAH.
Thank you Bess, as a former Ranger now on Wall Street this made my day. And believe me, we used this bitch to bring hell on earth to many, many motherfuckers during OIF. HOOAH.
hey ranger man 1 click at a time