Ok, we have heeded the call. We've opened up a very basic Cafepress shop for Anti-anti-short swag. We'll leave the very basic, vanilla logo clad stuff up for now, but eventually we have to slop our logo on the stuff, Microsoftify the package and commercialize the entire operation. Get it before we sell out of the pure stuff! (Supplies are limited).
Since none of the shorts impacted by the ban will return our calls, all profits are going to the Dealbreaker lunch fund (used to fund lunches, flowers, condoms and the like given away to random readers for services rendered).
Update: Of course, if you have other tagline ideas you prefer, and they catch our eye, we'll add them in a heartbeat!
Update 2: Ok, the speed with which mugs and shirts are flying off the shelves is frightening us. In a good way.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:30PM
Can I get a:
"O cubed taught me to pierce my bag"
T-Shirt?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:31PM
should be 'heeded' in the first sentence, unless you're heading a conference call or something
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:31PM
I will be filing my letter to opt out of the anti-shorting provisions in about ten minutes.
In the meantime, I would like to see the entire female staff of DB with those thongs so I can select my premium. Thanking you.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:32PM
What happened to the GS logo?
Posted by ep , Sep 24, 2008 2:33PM
@#2 Indeed! Thanks.
Posted by ep , Sep 24, 2008 2:34PM
@4: Dealbreaker is, of course, a huge operation. A trademark suit from Goldman, however, now flush with the Oracle's cash? That we can do without.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:34PM
Where are the quintessential "Mayo!", "Sham-wow!" and "Too long, didn't read" merchandise?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:35PM
I want a T-shirt that reads:
"Can't short me. I love the Cox"
Posted by a dead horse , Sep 24, 2008 2:36PM
I hope you give out the condoms before services are rendered, otherwise it kinda defeats the purpose
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:37PM
well-done, except for the fact that since wall street is heavily steeped in ex-laxers , most say "brah," not "bro." next time, next time.
Posted by HAM05 , Sep 24, 2008 2:37PM
well played team. can we get any wacky 'hey paulson, where's MY bailout' swag?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:40PM
Bess/EP:
I've been running a little operation on cafepress for a while (www.bsdcouture.com) - if you want/need any help enhancing your designs I'd be glad to pitch in my time for the cause.
-Arbitrageur
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:40PM
Here's my favourite. I heard it on NPR yesterday afternoon.
"Pigs get fat. Hogs get slaughtered"
Posted by ep , Sep 24, 2008 2:42PM
@12:
Email me. ep@dealbreaker.com
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:43PM
"A spoonful of Cox makes the shorts go down"
Posted by bank_teller , Sep 24, 2008 2:43PM
since it's a golf shirt, how about something like "chris cox-blocked my short game"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:45PM
Shorts - Rubbing Cox the wrong way since '08.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:45PM
Here's another favourite.
Erin Callan is so hot, that hens are laying hard-boiled eggs!
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:46PM
@15 -- In the most delightful way.
-Warren Buffett
Posted by byrneseyeview , Sep 24, 2008 2:49PM
You need better designers. I'm not going to walk around looking like a bad photoshop.
Posted by Bess Levin , Sep 24, 2008 2:50PM
@bank_teller-- great idea. we're adding that one.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:50PM
I vote for @17!
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:52PM
What about "JO&C" or some variation of that?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:53PM
Geed Job DB-I want the GS logo-maybe I'll just put the number 799 on the back, er make that 1035, I mean 2132, I mean- oh WTF
Posted by Bess Levin , Sep 24, 2008 2:54PM
@23-- we're just doing short-related swag this round, but I think JO&C would look great on a button or mousepad. We might do it for the holidays.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:55PM
We are Goldman.
Resistance is futile.
Posted by whatelseisgoingon , Sep 24, 2008 2:55PM
@17 - awesome
@18 - put your cox in a blender for being so stupid
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:56PM
@17...thats good
"What Cox was saying was, Hey! You know, we banned these Shorts 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:57PM
Cox Mocks, Knocks Stocks
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 2:57PM
Bess:
23 here - Capital idea. The holidays (and bonus time) will probably be the most likely time for JO&C'ing.
Posted by Harald , Sep 24, 2008 3:00PM
AP is reporting that Paulson has accepted the limits on executive pay packages
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D93D8AAG3&show_article=1
Also Bush is expected to give some of his signature 9/11-style unifying rhetoric tonight in a public address to ensure swift passage of this bailout proposal
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:01PM
Fuck McCain: "I want to postpone the debate on Friday and work on a solution to the Economic Crisis"
You don't know shit old man.
You can't fix shit.
You could study this for days and not understand it.
Just give us your money and stay the f* out.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:02PM
I Short You Not
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:03PM
my name is ron blarney. come see my mature 3 page blogs at cluster4uck.com
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:03PM
Bankruptcy? I Short You Not
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:03PM
"Jim Cramer called me a Financial Terrorist"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:05PM
"Would you like some bonds with that burger, sir?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:05PM
FYI --- CNBC is reporting McCain wants to postpone Friday's debate (on foreign policy) so he can "focus on the economic crisis" ...
Comments?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:09PM
No one on the corner has swagger like us
Posted by blndebnker , Sep 24, 2008 3:10PM
bess please add the suggestion from 33
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:11PM
I Found a new site with good info on the bailout scam:
"Liars, and the Lying Lies They Are Telling You"
http://yourmortgageoryourlife.wordpress.com/2008/09/23/liars-and-the-lying-lies-they-are-telling-you/
"Privatizing Profits and Socializing Losses: How the Rich are Staying Rich"
http://yourmortgageoryourlife.wordpress.com/2008/09/19/privatizing-profits-and-socializing-losses-how-the-rich-are-staying-rich/
"Conspiracies and Headlines - What’s the Difference?"
http://yourmortgageoryourlife.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/conspiracies-and-headlines-whats-the-difference/
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:11PM
McCain - you have GOT to be f-ing kidding me.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:12PM
Shorty was a thug.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:13PM
short shorts and long goldman = happy camper
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:13PM
this is @32
can we have a thread dedicated to ranting about politicians and how much they f* suck?
thanks bess/ep.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:14PM
@7
Don't even try that shit. "Too long, didn't read." is beyond the bounds of this one site. Learn your history.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:15PM
Shorty was a thug.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:15PM
@45: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/09/mccain-trying-to-postpone-frid.php
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:16PM
@33
I wrote it and it's fucking awesome - put that shit on a mug.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:16PM
My Cox Ain't Short
Posted by Investorcluzo , Sep 24, 2008 3:20PM
as long as we're all playing along, how about:
No Shorts over My Cox...
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:21PM
get shorty
Posted by Bess Levin , Sep 24, 2008 3:21PM
@blnde-- we are!
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:24PM
Bernanke really combines the worst of all college professor cliches.
Can't answer a simple question, has horrible facial hair, bad clothes, absolutely no possibility of student/hot professor fantansy and is boring as hell.
ps - Monday afternoon last oppurtunity to pass bill before Joe Liberman (and 2/3rds of wall street) have to leave for Rosh Hashanah.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:24PM
@47, I got it out at @10 on that thread. thanks for the heads up.
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Sep 24, 2008 3:26PM
How about..."Short Cox"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:26PM
What is this fascination with shorting? What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some regulators who look the other way at shorters. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't short! Now, in the end, who pays the price? EVERYONE!
Posted by blndebnker , Sep 24, 2008 3:27PM
Bess & EP - You girls are fabulous. Ab fab.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:27PM
How about a pic of Bess in that thong to get sales going?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:28PM
Wall Street: When the going gets tough the shorts get coxed
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:28PM
Too Cox, Didn' Short
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:28PM
bumper stickers?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:28PM
pens?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:29PM
pint glasses?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:30PM
Short yo mouth
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:30PM
Cox happens
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:31PM
2 Cox, 1 Cup
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:32PM
windbreakers?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:33PM
big foam fingers?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:34PM
"I'm short shorting"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:34PM
"I'm short shorting and long Cox."
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:35PM
Long Cox, Short Dollars.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:36PM
Goldman & Morgan? A Cox on both their houses!
-Shorty
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:37PM
Goldman <3 Cox
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:40PM
How about "Team Cox" on the front and "I Short You Not" on the back?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:41PM
Hanke-Penanke
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:43PM
"Don't short my Cox, Bro"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:51PM
Shorting is as Shorting doesdoes"
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 24, 2008 3:51PM
@ 54
Good point. However I have a question which HR at the firms which I've worked refuses to address: Why the hell do jews have to burn vacation days to sit (stand) around in temple for 3 days every fall? Vacation my ass.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:53PM
54 2/3 of wall street? dream on. Maybe at Bank Leumi.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:55PM
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking SHORT! Shomer shabbos!
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:55PM
@79
For the same reason I have to burn a vacation day for Good Friday at my firm, God may have many holiday but capitalists will let you take 10 max.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:56PM
Put Clay Aikens name on it.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:57PM
with jo&c gone:
"We're DealBitches,
We don't need no stinkin' Cox"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 3:59PM
@82...nice response...and I'm part of the tribe.
I think we are pissed because x-mas is a holiday...
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 24, 2008 4:03PM
@ 85
And because fasting and standing around in a stuffy temple dealing with judgemental family friends sucks, pretty bad. Hell, I'd glady take 'em as unpaid days.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:03PM
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of Shorting, Dude, at least it's an ethos.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:05PM
Cox treats shorts like women, maaan.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:05PM
You's a long mutha.. short your mouth.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:06PM
@85 if it were up to me I'd take Rosh Hashanah the same way you take Christmas, any day off to spend with my family is welcome - they probably thought about giving everyone a fixed pool of days and you just take the ones that mean something to you but just not practical because the numbers don't work out, all the same, happy holiday
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:08PM
Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST [IBank] HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:12PM
L'shanah tovah tikateivu
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:15PM
Cox, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:22PM
Cox: Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:31PM
Burnankke!!
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:32PM
Takin it in the Shorts
Short People have no reason to Short
and back
by popular demand
May the Short be With You
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:33PM
I told that kraut down at the league office that I don't SHORT ON SHABBAS.
Posted by FUNdamental , Sep 24, 2008 4:33PM
This cox isn't short
Cuz im Long and strong, not gonna get the shorting on
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:36PM
Anal_yst i am with you.
Stuffy syngougue, competitive dressing (especially for the woman) standing around with the aunts, who spend the whole time judging and gossiping about who got fat, married, divorced, pregnant, fat, rich, poor, fat and then you go back to the house and start drinking to drown out the aunts.
And if god forbid you don't eat enough.....
I love them all but by 4 pm on Yom Kippur - i am ready for a burger, a beer and no aunts for at least 2 months.
They are most certainly not vacation days. Vacation day means i can sit around in my robe for 3 days, watching bad tv and ordering take out.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:52PM
If Cox sues a bunch of suckers who manipulated the markets would they be called Cox sucker suits?
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 24, 2008 4:53PM
@ 99
Amen brotha (sista?)
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:55PM
@99...oh and when people fast and they talk at synagogue...their breath can knock you over from across the bima.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:57PM
Shorts: the very people who, uh, soiled your rug
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 4:59PM
Let's short it out, bitch!
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 5:16PM
Cox blocks my short on stocks
Hug Me: I'm Long
(Cox ruined my shorts)
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 5:42PM
Tell Drama its on my list of things to do today right after sticking needles in my Cox.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 6:28PM
How about?
"Wall Street Cox Sucker"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 6:29PM
Who wears short shorts? Cox wears short shorts.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 6:30PM
Who wears short shorts? Cox wears short shorts.
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 6:55PM
@ anaylst - sista
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 8:51PM
How 'bout "DealBreaker: Party Like It's 1929?"
Posted by guest , Sep 24, 2008 11:56PM
Is it too late to ask for a baby onesie that says "GNOM GNOM GNOM" ?
Posted by guest , Sep 25, 2008 12:46AM
How about this?
"Don't short the Dick", says Cox
Posted by guest , Sep 25, 2008 8:37AM
I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!!
Posted by guest , Sep 25, 2008 9:01AM
Short Cox and proud!
Posted by DavidNeubert , Sep 25, 2008 3:11PM
Is it still swag if it is not free?
Posted by guest , Sep 25, 2008 11:44PM
hese tee shirts are lame because they are designed for he usual bloated Wall Street types. Put them on good-fitting American Apparel tees in different colors and watch the fashionistas pile in.
Posted by guest , Sep 29, 2008 10:12AM
I heard this recently in a meeting, no kidding:
"Is it too soon to drop your shorts and go long?"
The guy didn't (apparently) even know what he was saying as he said it, but he (and all of us) got the joke immediately... Is this an old Wall Street joke/meme?
Posted by guest , Oct 01, 2008 2:39PM
COX PWNED SHORTS
Posted by IAmTooBigToFail , Oct 01, 2008 10:39PM
Even better apparel can be found here:
https://www.IAmTooBigToFail.com
Posted by guest , Oct 08, 2008 1:38PM
http://www.cafepress.com/IShortYouNot
Posted by guest , Oct 22, 2008 12:11AM
I see camel toe, bro!
http://www.weeklyta.blogspot.com