Holy fucking hell I can barely type this as I am shaking in excitement and definitely suffering from a decrease in oxygen to the brain as a result of hyperventilating-inducing euphoria. Tonight, at 10 PM, Dateline will be airing “The Mystery of the Missing Millionaire,” a special about SAM ISRAEL! I’m truly beside myself. As it would be a fool’s mission to try and not get our hopes up, we expect tonight’s show to include the following:
– B-roll of the egret and interviewer walking down the street
– An interview with a sex therapist who specializes in interspecies intercourse
– A Dealbreaker shout-out!
– An interview with the trollop who outbid us for the b-card.
– An eyewitness account of the industry’s biggest M*A*S*H fan escaping the second time around.
– YOUR CALL
HOPEFULLY UNRELATED: Not Enough Cock, Coke or Money: The Few Things That Didn’t Suck about CNBC’s Seth Tobias Special
An all-new Dateline Friday 10 p.m./9 C [MSNBC]