• 02 Sep 2008 at 10:23 AM

Good Luck, Credit Suisse

callan.jpg
As many of you are aware, today marks a very momentous occasion. I am not referring to Jorge Soros finally being appointed to the NAMBLA executive committee, though it is indeed cause for celebration and we’ll have more on that later. Right now we’re talking about a lady named Erin Callan, who rejoins the workforce today.
For those who’ve forgotten, back in June Callan’s former boss Dick Fuld was under a little pressure to fire someone for Lehman Brothers’s dropping stock, and he took the chivalrous route and chose her (along with Joseph Gregory, for wearing an ugly green suit). Callan was actually offered a pity gig in the investment banking unit, but obviously that was demeaning and beneath her, and declined (as erstwhile CFO, Callan’s decision to bail probably also had something to do with the insider information that the ship was/is going down hard).
Anywho, she took a job with the much more affable Brady Dougan at Credit Suisse as Managing Director and head of its Global Hedge Fund Business, a position created specially her, and starts today. She’s probably a little excited and little nervous, as most first-timers are, so we want to do something nice for her. Obviously we’re going to run into trouble if we show up at 11 Madison Avenue ourselves and try to get some face time with EZ-E so we’re going to take the delivery boy route. But we can’t decide what would be the most appropriate gift. So! If you would be so kind as to let us know which of the following you think would be best, or nominate your own idea, that’d be great. We’d like to get something out by 12, so chop chop.
1. Flowers
2. A cheesesteak
3. A panty-gram (SFW)

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Comments (47)

  1. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:23 AM

    A whole bushel of oysters.

  2. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:24 AM

    gallon of mayo

  3. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:25 AM

    gallon of mayo

  4. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:27 AM

    bear stearns mug

  5. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:29 AM

    A vibrator.
    Nah, that’s in poor taste.

  6. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:29 AM

    a model of the Titanic, perhaps?

  7. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:30 AM

    chocolate-covered xanax

  8. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:31 AM

    @5– she’s married

  9. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:32 AM

    @8– and your point is?

  10. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:35 AM

    Sep 08 $14 LEH puts trading at .90 cents…get her a stack baby

  11. Posted by Anal_yst | September 2, 2008 at 10:39 AM

    @7
    Where exactly would one obtain such treats?

  12. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:39 AM

    Lilies

  13. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:42 AM

    a blumpkin

  14. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:43 AM

    Buy her delivery Korean, because the Koreans are buying Lehman. She’ll dig that

  15. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:43 AM

    @12– she looks like a lilies girl, over roses.

  16. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:46 AM

    goodness they filled that position fast… and by the way, it wasnt specially created for her… CS have been interviewing for the past few months.
    In anycase, thats a dead team as well…
    best of luck to her, get her some lillies and Swiss chocolate.
    regards
    From Someone “in the know”…

  17. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:53 AM

    @16- “NEW YORK–(Business Wire)–
    Credit Suisse today announced that Erin Callan will be joining the
    Bank as a Managing Director and Head of its Global Hedge Fund
    Business. In this *newly created* position, Ms. Callan will join the
    Investment Bank Management Committee and the Global Client Steering
    Committee.”
    http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS199771+15-Jul-2008+BW20080715

  18. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:56 AM

    cheesesteak

  19. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 10:59 AM

    @17… yeah go ahead and believe everything you read in the press…
    It wasn’t created “just” for her, it was created for whomever they hired… I know two people who were up for the move, and two who were considered…Erin got the nod, good for her, but in fairness they had restructured their entire hedge fund business within Asset management and laid off 350 people 3 months ago… moving the whole unit (in its ghostly fashion) to the IB.
    Those who didnt want to move from AM to the IB were let go.
    Sorry if I didnt explain this the 1st time round… but the truth is as always broader than the press release..

  20. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:04 AM

    Does she know how to use a 9 day moving average?

  21. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:11 AM

    I’d like to get in her hedge fund, if you know what I mean.
    But I dunno if I qualify as a QIB

  22. Posted by girl | September 2, 2008 at 11:12 AM

    Peonies.

  23. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:15 AM

    A couple of pantsuits. Girl needs to cover her legs if she’s gonna be taken seriously.

  24. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:16 AM

    a Hot Carl

  25. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:19 AM

    Is she really married?

  26. Posted by childrenatthegate | September 2, 2008 at 11:24 AM

    I would like someone to make her a wikipedia page and then send her a pantygram telling her to wiki herself, bc noone else wanted to apparently.

  27. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:25 AM

    19 – Sorry you were passed over

  28. Posted by FUNdamental | September 2, 2008 at 11:32 AM

    How about a hot box lunch?

  29. Posted by TheUpwardlyMob | September 2, 2008 at 11:36 AM

    A swiss army knife, always useful.

  30. Posted by Anal_yst | September 2, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    how the hell has she made it this far? She looks like an aged brat-pack-era actress, that cute mug, the nice, always on display legs, something is going on here and god damnit I’m going down on it, to get to the bottom of it, or whatever

  31. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:55 AM

    a gallon of warmed mayo.

  32. Posted by Cincinnatus C | September 2, 2008 at 11:55 AM

    i’ll take the chocolate covered zannies…i could use em..

  33. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 11:56 AM

    How about a pink slip with her name on it since she’ll be getting the real thing from CS soon enough. The DB one just gives her a “heads up”. Besides, she can even wear it. Get one with titty holes and a see-through panel in the crotch area.
    The Guy from Delaware

  34. Posted by FUNdamental | September 2, 2008 at 12:06 PM

    @anal – perhaps we should. E sending that hot box lunch your way?

  35. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 12:26 PM

    A Spiderman.
    -BeckyBootFan

  36. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 12:36 PM

    A Cleveland Steamer…

  37. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 12:42 PM

    Watch your back..watch your back & watch Endaround!

  38. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 1:02 PM

    “titty holes”…..hilarious!
    ~Fake Larry Flynt

  39. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 2:28 PM

    should have bought those puts

  40. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 2:32 PM

    In addition to being very smart, she is also very nice. CS is lucky to have her. Don’t worry…I don’t think your mean comments bother her. She is laughing all the way to the bank!

  41. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 2:44 PM

    Totally. Get her a batwing, but respectfully hurl it at her head. It’ll be that slapping sound against her face that lets her know we care.

  42. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 3:03 PM

    Pixie face chicks dont age well

  43. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 3:05 PM

    Get her a facelift.
    Chick’s got more lines than a Grandmaster Flash party.

  44. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 3:49 PM

    43
    HOLY SHIT! AHAHAHAHAHAH

  45. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 8:38 PM

    I think she is cute, not exactly sure what her position entails. Is she in some kind of advisory role? Are these hedge funds run by CS?
    Excuse my ignorance, I am not an investment banker, or any kind of banker for that matter.
    Thx.

  46. Posted by guest | September 2, 2008 at 9:01 PM

    look at the tree trunks on that broad. how about a treadmill for that new corner office!

  47. Posted by guest | September 3, 2008 at 12:15 AM

    Get her something for her sweet pad in 15 CPW

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