Lloyd. John.
I am very disappointed in you. I though you were mensches. I thought you had pairs that hung as low as Russian Race horses. I thought you’d come out of this strong and long and down to get the friction on. Given your options today, which were a. stand up and take it like men or b. urinate sitting down like little girls, you chose b.
When the big bad short sellers came to blow your houses down today, you could’ve yelled through the window, “Huff and puff away, fuck sticks, unlike Lehman’s house of straw, and Bear’s trailer park of hemp, these bricks ain’t comin’ down.” Instead, you caught the next train to Coxville to cry to your mama and clutch behind her legs while she wields a bat at the bullies.
You fuckers didn’t want an actively regulated market when you were splicing and dicing toxic debt and selling this shit as if its shinola to unwitting third world countries who have difficulty with potable water (which I’m cool with, no playa hatas here). Then, the market bitch slaps you one down day after five years of offering up its fake breasts for you to snort the toxic lines of cocaine that is shit debt like Tony Montana and you get your undescended testicles in bind and go crying to the paradoxically named Chris Cox.
Christopher, please: live up to your uber-phallic name and dick slap these bitches back to the corner with their dunce caps.
There. I feel better.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Wow Bess. That was awesome!
absolutely brilliant!! I smell pulitzer all over this one….keep up the great work.
Bravo.
Bess, you’re funny.
Awesome honey.
rock it
Best ever. Chris Cox is the guy that sings “Stuck Between the Moon and New York City”, right?
bess, you’re approaching genius level.
well done.
-retail
Unfortunately, you’re off base. GS and MS aren’t whining about the short sellers, they’re trying to prevent an unjustified ratings downgrade which could cause another collapse. See how well the financial markets work if the last two major broker-dealers go bankrupt…
it’s mensch, not mench.
bess.is.a.goddess.
@9, wrong, read mack’s email to ms employees
I had been starting to get tired of the one dimensional writing lately Bess, but that was fucking great.
#9…..Beat it
Did you have a good base beat going when you wrote this?
@13– when does she ever write on dimensionally?
# 9 – See how well the financial markets work without GS or MS? Really?
I guess the half dozen other firms never mattered to begin with? Goldman & Morgan were the only players with any clout?
Eat shit and join your brothers in the soup line jerk-off.
thats some funny shit, keep it coming!
rock it
You people are morons. If Goldman goes does the impact would be hard to quantify (i.e. get under your desks, bush’s second term, plus sign in the ept stick nasty).
Bess — I hope someone gives you a Red Sock.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=red+sock
@9, GS and MS are the last two independent IB’s in the states, they are not the last to major broker dealers. Please stick to entering trades for the front office as opposed to posting comments.
@9, GS and MS are the last two independent IB’s in the states, they are not the last two major broker dealers. Please stick to entering trades for the front office as opposed to posting comments.
@9, GS and MS are the last two independent IB’s in the states, they are not the last two major broker dealers. Please stick to entering trades for the front office as opposed to posting comments.
Must be tough to front run your clients when your clients are shorting GS stock.
Amazing. Drinks on me tonight, Bess.
slamballing it – bess you reaching Zamboni levels
News Flash!!!…
As a result of today’s GS/MS calls to the SEC, the following two new regulations will become effective at 12:01am tonite:
1) “Short selling of any security is hereby suspended until further notice.”
2) “The new Department of Homeland Financial Security is hereby established. Said department’s mission is to root out and to destroy the financial terrorists who today bombed the World Trade Center for a second time.”
Signed,
George W. & C. Cox
Don’t I wish…
The Guy from Delaware
@17–Awesome!
@24, well said
@10: i was gonna post that.
also, this was well written but not lol funny. i don’t know why you guys are swinging so fast and freely and bess’ dick.
Too long, didn’t read.
@9, GS and MS are the last two independent IB’s in the states, they are not the last two major broker dealers. Please stick to entering trades for the front office as opposed to posting comments.
Hear, hear
Hear, hear!
Awww the unwashed masses want a circus. Be careful what you wish for. Let’s see what happens if GS and MS fail.
right on, 24
Dow Jones Newswire
Dick Fuld sold 2.88 million shares in LEH. Didn’t say at what price.
I know it’s small print but…
After submitting a comment it may take several minutes to appear. Please only submit your comment once.
@35– they’re not going to fucking fail, but they really need not blame the short sellers. grow up.
best post ever
best post ever
Well said.Bess. For them to complain about short selling is like A-ROD complaining about pitcher’s fast ball is too fast.
9 is Lloyd/John/Tim Sykes
@Cincinnatus C– “this wasn’t lol funny”
use of “lol” = stripping you of the right to judge what’s funny and what isnt.
@42- great analogy
guess someone at those late night meetings leaked the coming regulation to bury the big boyz.
unless they’re shorting each other. that would make a good movie.
Fake breast…
Bitter?
@48– most prostitutes have fake breasts.
@38 – also, how about a ctrl + F5 to reload… rather than submitting your comment 8 times…
Sorry but I couldn’t get past the misspelling of “mensch” in the first line. What kind of a Jew are you? Please fix.
LOGO has a show called “Sordid Lives” (on Wednesdays, coincidentally enough).
They should retool it and move it from rural Texas to Wall St.
Fuck sticks of the world unite.
@9, GS and MS are the last two independent IB’s in the states, they are not the last two major broker dealers. Please stick to entering trades for the front office as opposed to posting comments.
Masterpiece Bess!
I thought the bitches are now complaining about the market for credit default swaps.
@27 9/11 WAS the second bombing of the WTC, dolt
Jews @10 and 51– it’s been corrected.
9 is Lloyd/John/Tim Sykes
You go sister.
To the multiple poster: if at first you don’t see your post appear, hit Alt-F4 and all will be clear.
Seriously Bess, make love to me. I work at an M&A shop with no exposure to any toxic debt, so you don’t need to worry about any STD’s (Sexually Transmitted Debt).
fake breasts will get us through this
and if not fake breasts, then just big, soft, real, and milky ones will
Repost from last night- see last line for summary of today’s market reation to $85 billi of that blue magic:
Fucking ridiculous.
Bailout nation lives!!!
Complete nonsense, when since did redblooded American capiatalists become the wooses of Washington DC sugar daddies???
Fucking horrid!!
Grow a sack, mr market, the reason stocks go up is because they CAN go down.
For all you friggen excel monkeys out here, why don’t one of you work up a graph of the S&P index from the greenspan fed neg. real rates from 2002/3- present day. yo may be very surprised at what a “calamity/crisis/shitshow” we are have on our hands.
Pussies, one and all. little biaaatches who cry for their mommas every time the futures drop more than 30 friggen handles.
Oh yeah financial armageddon(sp? ligaf) was upon us eh??? fuck all- what’s next?? so is C too big, is WM too big, is GM, too big, is WB too big, how about my left nut. Pussy investors get pussy markets, exactly where we sit today.
deeznutz
Yes Bess! Pulitzer for sure.
@48 Rumor is Bess has a nice rack.
@#55…
A dolt I am indeed. I realized my error, but it wasn’t until about 5 min after I posted. Thank you for reminding me.
The Guy from Delaware
@50 — just hitting F5 will do
CDS are turning into a bigger clusterfuck of tails wagging dogs than even portfolio insurance.
using the word “pair” to talk about testicles is so cool! let’s count how many times Bess uses it, just like Amy Poehler!
@67– “let’s count how many times Bess uses it” once
I call BS. Bess is neither Jew nor female. Can’t spell mensch and no woman writes like that.
So who are you really?
“they’re trying to prevent an unjustified ratings downgrade which could cause another collapse”
Haha, right. It’s the ratings downgrade that’s causing collapse. Like anyone even believes the ratings companies anymore! Remind me, when did they downgrade Lehman again?
guest@#61…
You sound like some kind of e-trader who’s been awake for 3 days and who’s all hopped-up on mescalyne.
The Guy from Delaware
Don’t mention Bess and that hack Poehler in the same sentence.
61 – you are spammer trash. You posted identical garbage on another blog. Get a life.
63- not just rumor
67 – i didnt mean using “pair” in that one post, i meant cumulatively. here’s another from 2 days ago: so she took a day off.
“The real question is: does Barclays have the pair to fuck with everyone like that?”
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/09/late-night-rumors-from-leh.php
Bess, next time please include a picture of Russian Race horses for visual reference. Thank you.
oh, and i’m pretty sure bess fingers herself to amy poehler
Did Goldman and Morgan have a good cry with OSTK last night?
@69
I agree with you. No such person as Bess Levine.
Bess, is 77 correct? Please advise.
@69/79: There has to be. I love this woman.
To the tool who’s got his panties in a twist about Bess’ use of “pair” – Seriously? You read a brilliant post like this one and get hung up on her use of the word “pair”? Asshat. It’s properly used, and she hits it perfectly. (Or so I’ve heard.)
Funny enough, the domain is registered to one “Dead Horse Media”. Still digging, but did find this:
Reader Profi le
Region:
United States: 87%
New York: 38%
Median age: 28
Male: 85%
Average annual HHI: $246,000
Education:
Bachelors or greater: 95%
Masters, JD, PhD: 37%
Employed in fi nancial services: 77%
Employed in public company: 48%
Job titles:
Analysts: 26%
Traders: 22%
Associates: 18%
Company size:
1,000 employees: 52%
In the past 30 days:
Taken a fl ight (business): 50%
Taken a fl ight (leisure): 54%
Bought a DVD: 41%
Gone to the movies: 61%
Managed investments online: 78%
In the past 6 months:
Researched cars online: 52%
*Source: March 2007 user survey
Some people obviously lied about HHI.
So what are we looking a tomorrow fucktards?
And yeah, is Bess supposed to use the word testicle in a rant? ‘pair’ is so apprapo
262 Mott Street
Someone from LEH get a picture.
omg… bess, will you marry me?
picture of bess? Spode has been trying forever…still no luck.
Bess is like the Loch Ness monster…wait a minute…Loch Bess…
Masturpiece
@81 I’m sorry but once you start thinking about it, you’ll realize that “she” is a fantasy. “She” knows exactly what you guys want to hear. So either “she” is a he, or she’s just playing ya’ll for fools. Picks your poison.
On a day when all truths are being told, BL I call on you, SHOW YOURSELF.
Like the wizard behind the curtain…
@88 Are you also saying “Equity Private” isn’t his/her real name?
@85 you’re sickening. be a man for gods sake. stop drooling like a dog in heat.
Beautiful. Just beautiful. And the piece wasn’t bad, neither. Bess, I love you. You could be a big, hairy troll with facial moles and chin hair, for all I care; I’m a sucker for your writing.
Agree 88…Bess some picture – even a tiny thumbnail.
Shit, by now Carney could’ve taken a pic any of a random on the street stuck it up here and said its BL…
@91 obese and with BO. Still workin for ya?
@63 confirmed
who are lloyd and john?
@93…don’t talk about your mother like that!
Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there’s no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk
Refrain:
Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She’s got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:
Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Verse Two: Slim Kid Tre
Ya mama look like she’s been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root’n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she’s not cute
She’s not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies
Refrain:
On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She’s got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that
Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Verse Three: Fat Lip
Watch out, I’m thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she’s old as dirt and got hair on her tongue
Refrain:
Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She’s got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that
Ya mama’s got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Verse Four: Imani
Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy’s
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn’t have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet
Refrain:
Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that
Ya mama’s got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Outro:
Ya mama got snake skin teeth
Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings , dude she looks like…. hehehe
Ya mama was making sex threats to Ricky Bell and shit
Ya mama jacked the Kool-aid man for a sip, nigga
Ya mama was walking down on Sunset with a 99 cent sign on her back
(You’re a sellout) ya mama’s a sellout nigga ya mama
Nigga ya mama did a pop tune nigga
Ya mama’s glasses are so thick she look into a map
and see people wavin at her
Your mother got an Ouija board on her back
Sidney with EQ and everything what he be sayin
His mother be hooked, fishin with a hook and reel at the frozen food section
Tre’s mama got Playdough teeth
Ya mother be eatin daisies like Now and Laters and shit
Ya mama’s an extra on the Simpsons and shit
Ya mama’s so fat you can’t even see her legs
it just looks like she’s just gliding across the floor…
Bess, are you still feeling verklempt?
Call the mohel, we’ll get those peanuts down.
@93: All cats are grey in the dark. But maybe a clothespin, though?
Mayo, Sham, TLDR, Assoc Pay, Merge With you guys still here?
96 was too much even for me.
Peace foolz,
SPODE
Bess is amazing. She talks like a guy and is not shy with words or vulgarity. I completely agree with her basic point on GS and MS chiefs cowering like girls now that their insolvent institutions are getting shorted. They deserve it. Keep it up Bess. Anybody have a link for Bess’s pic? I know she is smart but I wonder if she is cute too.
@ 70:
Ratings downgrades (credible or not) do trigger very real collateral calls.
Morgan Stanley
Think we allwill just enjoy them getting fucked up the ass . Commodities especially . We’re waiting out here for you all !
Sweet Jesus that was awesome
I’d totally go lesbo for Bess. That was HOTTT!!! Great writing!
get a clue. naked short selling means being able to sell an infinite number of shares. you cannot defend a company against that.
when cds sellers HAVE to hedge by shorting, or lose their asses otherwise — and that means banks and ib’s, who can’t get anymore cap and therefore can’t write off anymore — the reference names are doomed.
I amazed at how universally clueless the discussion of short selling on DB has been.
like every other market website I’ve seen, so much uninformed detritis amidst a few sharp comments.
and bess, you ought to be ashamed at you guttermouth.
it’s a real waste of talent.
don’t let the fact that the drunken bozos that post here think you’re great.
you need to GTFU.
Get the fuck out of agriculture funds now!! Disaster. If you’re locked-up , sue them untilm they bleed
hey 106, beat it scumbag.
Them get out of anything in the GSCI !
dick-slapping is more in the line of the fairies at UBS like… Ferri ?
We have reached bottom.
Dealbreaker now has talking ads from walmart
BS rumor on CNBC that Morgan Stanley is in talks with the Chinese.
That’s dead before it even gets to Washington.
you guys are funny …. you do realise Bess is actually a GUY!!!! you are slobbering over a dude!!! ha ha ha ha ha.
Bess that was fabulous.
That said i agree with what was said @ 105.
I think that the CEO’s of BSC, LEH, MER, and AIG continually lied to thier investors about thier true state. And guys like cramer and gasbags acted like thier investor relations puppets.
Now thier is NO credibility left for CEO’s that are credible. The cds market is in charge because they are the only credibile source of information that investors have to go on.
So in theory i applaud Bess but as a practical matter do we really think it is in the best interests of all of us in this industry to destroy the hands that feed us – completely?
@63 “rumor is bess has a nice rack”
as someone who’s touched them, I can confirm that rumor.
If the problem at GS and MS is the declining stock price, is there a legal/regulatory reason why the employees/management can’t buy blocks of the stock? Didn’t MS give out $10B GS give out $18B in bonuses last year? Can’t these guys show their faith in the companies and buy their own stock?
@115
are you a guy or girl?
fking shorts! seriously, if the executive suite could spend more time on risk management instead of pointing fingers at shorts, perhaps we wouldn’t be in this mess. seriously, do you really think shorts (naked or otherwise) could bring down a $200+ billion market cap company (aig)? think about it. bravo bess, gutter mouth/large rack/misspellings and all…
@116 – employees hold too much stock as is, no reason to get more exposure. then you have blackout dates to worry about.
There’s got to be a timeout coming from Moody’s,SPX and Fitch.If those fucks decide that CDS spreads should warrant a downgrade on GS, then they may as well turn out the lights on their business, or bigmouth Bill Gross should get back on the tube and call them dipshits and he won’t pay any attention to what they do.Lay down a marker, Billy.
Goldman Sachs is for pussies. I heard a first year analyst actually soiled himself on the trading floor today and had to go home early. I bet at some point around February 2007 they shorted every financial stock but their own and have spent the last year and a half in a big circle jerk. I’d love to see the HB-1 Visas for everyone that works there and see how legitimate they are. But for now, I can just take glory in the fact that GS is next, and soon most of those people will get fired by their new bosses at Key Bank.
@116….they’ll need all the cash they can.
I am Samuel Sampson Akpan. My father, a near descendant of the Royal family of Nigeria, recently passed away. He left an amount of USD$7.227.435,59 in the RJG National Bank of the Ivory Coast; because of unfortunate circumstances, I cannot take possession of said funds as his rightful heir because he loved himself more than me.
In return for a Federal Reserve wire account number, I will gladly transfer the entire amount of USD$7.227.435.59 to your account less a small sum that will let me subsist. As an added bonus, I will include an authentic picture of Ms. Bess Levin if you act now.
Your loyal cousin,
Samuel Sampson Akpan
96 was me! Bitches!
SPODE
Spode, you are an anus
Dear Mr. Akpan,
Please send all correspondence to a one Mordechai Chang – a bitch ass fuck who goes to UP and will gladly you give you all assistance you need.
Excuse me but, were they just supposed to sit by and watch their companies destroyed?
@#101…
In my opinion, yours is the best post on this thread.
The Guy from Delaware
@63 — her ass is also incredible.
@124…give’em a break…
I downgrade TGFD. F- you suckwad.
@113
New here?
Could this be her?
http://equityprivate.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/08/bess.jpg
I think maybe so.
#132, it’s retardulous how bad you pervs are at stalking.
wait, it that good or bad?
I’m thinking it is bad, for you, the non-jew.
132…you dipshit…thats kate bosworth.
fo shizzle, i mo jizzle than yo nizzle.
come, acknowledge your swarthiness.
fuckers…this better not be a 300+ post.
@83 – The Dow violated a key technical level (the “50% principle”, and that’s not the the “50% principal”; those days are gone forever). The technicians will be out in force, eagerly awaiting the tiniest up-tick to pile on more shorts.
For those of you who have never heard of the “Dow Theory”, or the “50% Principle”, the latter says that if the Dow retraces 50% of a rise or fall, it’s more than likely to retrace the entire rise or fall. Since the Dow has rallied from about 7,000 in 2002, the technicians will be looking for another 3,000 pts on the downside.
And compared to Bill Gross’s forecast, that’s mild. He said he was looking for Dow 5,000, though he may have been joking.
For my family’s portfolios, they’ve been in oil, gold, and *cash* for the last four years. Oh, and I’m in Canada, where my money market funds invest only in AAA governments – no ABCP, no CDO’s, no CDS’s. The yield sucks, but at least I have my principal. Pile into Canada, ladies and boys; the TSX is the best performing exchange in the civilized world this year (*only* down 11%), and with its heavy oil and gold weightings, should be poised for a nice run as oil goes back over $100, and gold heads back to $1,000. Plus, we’re having an election here too, and when the Conservatives win, you’ll see the loonie rally against the dollar. It’s about $0.93 now; you’ll see parity or close to it by December. That’s a nice 7% rise in three months just on currency. Welcome to the Great White North!
@135: No one has proved that Bess is not Kate Bosworth….
@138 where’s Canada?
@Bess (133/136)
At least post logged in. You’ll never get to sleep with the new Prince on a private jet (which I believe you have the potential to do) unless you show yourself.
Canadar? 52nd state, give or take a decade.
@128
are you a guy or girl?
Ahhhhh,sweet catharsis.
Thank you Bess.
Harumph! Harumph!
This is why you guys rule. Won’t see this in the NYT!
bess, you’re off base.
@142 – really? Who’s going to be the 51st? Or can’t you count?
@140 – Go north on I-87 to Albany, and then keep going. You can’t miss it. Bring a passport, though, or Homeland Security won’t let you back in to the US.
But seriously – Canada has had a federal budget surplus for the last 8 years, and has paid down part of the national debt, unlike some other countries I might name. Canada has had a positive trade surplus, and a positive current account surplus for the last eight years, again, unlike some other countries. We are not only self-sufficient in oil and natural gas, we are the largest supplier of oil and gas – not Mexico, not Saudi Arabia – to the US. Now, since the current crisis is causing America to re-consider economic fundamentals, what kind of country would you want to invest in?
@147
Not one that only exists and ran surpluses because it sucked off the tit of the country that is falling off the map.
Bess, I’d marry you and at every opportunity piss you off, just so that I can hear you rant like above. Nothing says ‘owned’ like a rhyming insult.
Bess and Large are the best writers ever.
@150 might be the same guy.
Bess, I loved this
Brilliant. If anyone is looking to wallpaper there room with soon to be vintage wallpaper buy some GS or MS and get the certificates.
baby got MACK!
What the F%$#%$#…..Canadians on DB? Since when did this site go mainstream? Idiots like 138 are why Carney is splitting this shitshow. You know nothing. Go count the Elliot Waves of my pubic hairs.
shoe is on the other foot. the writer of this gratuitously obscenity-laced invective so deeply approves of selling CDO’s to third world countries that he squeals like a stuck pig when his gravy train is derailed. too bad, pig. live with it.
go ahead, get some guts, be a “playa hata”
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Bess needs to learn how to write.