We just received the following desperate plea and felt obligated to pass it on. If anyone reading can be of assistance, or knows someone who can be of assistance, please let us know, and we'll put you in touch. If Dealbreaker readers can't get this one done, no one can. For our (your) help, we've been promised a write-up of the event.
Dear Dealbreaker,
I have a situation I hope you can help me with. I'm a 25 year old girl from London visiting NY for the first time basically to hook up with this guy and I want to do something topical, specifically I want to have sex in the Lehman Brothers building before it gets sold or demolished or demolished or whatever. While I don't want to make light of the tragic job losses etc, after so many people have been fucked by Lehman, I really want to fuck IN Lehman. We tried to get past security today (said we wanted to help our friend who was packing her stuff - this didn't seem to surprise them) but they wanted an extension to call. We need someone who works at Lehman to answer their extension and say to the security desk that it's cool for us to come in. I know it's a big ask but it would fulfil a really big fantasy if you could help make this happen. Could any of your LEH readers help?Many thanks,
[redacted]
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 8:40PM
yeah but only on condition that we get the full write-up,... when, where, how, etc... got to have something in exchange for putting 90 days of job security on the line....
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 8:59PM
If this happens, there will probably be no need for a write up - we'll be able to watch it on the internet....
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 9:03PM
Only with pictures with faces blurred out...
Perhaps on Fuld's desk...
And how do we know she isn't trying to get a Qaeda fuck in the building???
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 9:23PM
too long, didn't call security
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 9:28PM
i'd love to see photos (neck down) accompanying the write-up
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 9:30PM
@5...agreed. Mission approved.
Chicken is in the oven. COOK IT.
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 9:51PM
Please to email me contact details. There is great handicapped restroom in building. I and girlfriend use it before many time.. I glad to help.
Yevgeniy.Lebedowski@Lehman.com
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 10:02PM
@7...troll or just knows he is getting fired?
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 10:39PM
Liar. There's no such person named Yevgeniy Lebedowski
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 10:49PM
haha #9 just admitted he will be unemployed next week
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 10:50PM
that is one awesome name brotha
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 10:51PM
#9.. wtf I just checked the company directory there seems to be a Lebedowski that works in collateral @745...
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:10PM
I tested the email on #7. It bounced.
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:11PM
Most of the building is covered by internal cameras.
There was an MD who was banging an analyst in a conference room -- he got nailed for improper use of company property.
Dick Fuld's office is guarded by several men.
Please have some respect for the men and women who actually work there and have gone through a very painful process and limit your activities to nearby hotels.
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:14PM
#14
Since you frown upon a full feast, what about a quick appetizer (bukkake)?
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:20PM
@14-- she does, that's why she said:
"While I don't want to make light of the tragic job losses etc, after so many people have been fucked by Lehman, I really want to fuck IN Lehman."
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:23PM
@16 I'm not taking sides here, but it should be noted that rhetoric is worth 1000x more is your actions demonstrate it
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:23PM
LEH should be charging for disaster tours and visits to Dick's office. Would make a few $$$ of the times square tourists and help pay back the bonds.
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:25PM
Just pull a lehman name/number off the internet. They are all over edgar online.
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:26PM
17 here, just saying I am all for this idea!
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:37PM
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every banker is a criminal
And all the investors saints
As heads is tails
Just call me hedge fund joe
cause Im in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned risk controls
Or Ill lay your trading book to waste, um yeah
-$$$
Posted by guest , Sep 20, 2008 11:47PM
There were some people in the comments asking about how the Lehman BK worked and who would be getting severance pay- this quote applies to the Barclays aquisition:
"Barclays took on a potential liability of US$2.5 billion to be paid as severance, in case it decides not to keep certain Lehman employees beyond the guaranteed 90 days."
http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Money/Story/STIStory_280978.html
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 4:06AM
I bet many would do this as many at Lehman are trying to get fired. Better severance.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 4:07AM
I bet many would do this as many at Lehman are trying to get fired. Better severance.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 6:17AM
I'd pay big money to have someone bend Dick Fuld over his desk and buttf*ck him the same as he did us.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:15AM
@23-24, you wouldn't get severance if you get fired, i.e. terminated for "the Cause". Fucking someone in the office constitues the Cause.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:03AM
On the condition that you bring along a video camera and tape yourself getting donkey punched in Dick Fuld's office.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:18AM
This is not an employee so they can't get fired but they can get arrested...that's why she wants an employee to let her and her f**kbuddy into the building.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:40AM
Fuld (verb): to engage in sex under inappropriate circumstances
Example: During the PTA meeting, Missy was found fulding with the gym teacher
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:45AM
Thain (verb): to desperately seek shelter or protection
Example: The lightening storm caused the chipmunk to thain inside its hole
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:48AM
Cayne (verb): to smoke marijuana during a disaster or cataclysmic event
Example: Roscoe does not remember the earthquake; he was cayning in his basement
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:28AM
This is sick and pointless.
why don't you go fuck someone at ground 0 while you're at it?
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:44AM
@32-- people getting fired are not equatable with people DYING.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:49AM
what she's briging?
check one you like:
HIV
Herpes
syphillis
Gonorrhea
Hepatitis
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:49AM
get some style and fuck in front of the building, for the cameras. fucking for severance
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 10:02AM
Company Phaunos Timber Fund Limited
TIDM PTF
Headline Notice of EGM
Released 14:08 08-Apr-08
Number 8962R
RNS Number:8962R
Phaunos Timber Fund Limited
08 April 2008
Phaunos Timber Fund Limited ("Phaunos" or the "Company")
Notice of Extraordinary General Meeting and Update on Move to Official List
Phaunos announces the posting of a circular (the "Circular") and notice of
Extraordinary General Meeting (the "EGM") to its Shareholders. The Company also
confirms its intention to apply for admission to listing of its ordinary shares
("Ordinary Shares") on the Official List of the UK Listing Authority (the
"Official List") and to trading on the London Stock Exchange's main market for
listed securities (the "Main Market").
Unless otherwise defined, terms used in this announcement have the defined
meaning given to them in the Circular.
POSTING OF CIRCULAR AND NOTICE OF EGM
At the January EGM, Shareholders granted the Company the requisite authorities
to allow it to raise additional capital of up to approximately $1.6 billion
through one or more issues of C Shares (which are convertible into Ordinary
Shares in accordance with the provisions set out in the Articles of
Association). In order to proceed with the issue of the C Shares, the Company
is now seeking Shareholders approval of the proposals described below.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 10:39AM
this is a brilliant idea and doesn't at all make light of the job losses. to those that disagree, you're taking yourselves far too seriously. in this recession, i'm long sex and short new york city yuppies.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:09AM
Tell this horny girl to call/email that old stupid hag from the Times, Maureen Dowd. She is soo dumb and pathetic that she may actually be able to arrange some old-fashioned shagging at Lehman for this poor little slut.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:14AM
All this talk of Lehman and screwing has me pondering:
It's 2010 - Fuld is sharing a prison cell with Jeff Skilling..... who is the bitch in that equation?
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:24AM
Not sexy. Not funny.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:28AM
@40 who said anything about this being sexy or funny for you? this is about this chick, and db-leh readers doing a public service.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:37AM
30 or so story building in midtown demolished just because the previous owner went bankrupt?? I don't fuck stupid girls.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:43AM
@42-- yeah she's obviously not the brightest but who cares. also, she's not asking you to fuck her, just to get her in the building.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 12:10PM
i have business plan needs seed money... disaster fucking.. we take you and partner to scene of greatest disasters and arrange opportunity to fuck.. for fee arrange partner also... premium package today for islamabad, fuck in former penthouse of marriot, $2000 return airfare, $3000 if we provide partner, $4,000 if partner local pakistani (more risk more reward), goats extra..
yevgeniy
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 12:20PM
44: funny, but too soon
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 12:26PM
Guys, lets get serious.
Lets devise a plan and help her. Email me at mia.trinephi@lehman.com
I will do my best. I still have the job but I cant be fired for some devious reasons.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 12:53PM
My Gosh. I am surprised on seeing this post.
I was 24 F when working with Lehman. I was recruited for Tokyo and then went onto London.
From my childhood I am kinda hyperactive when it comes to sex. While doing the rebalancing for the wealth management client on a wintery,rainy friday evening, I got really horny.
I went to the loo to have a little tickle at my pussy. It was already 6:30 and in CW office everybody gets out at 4 PM (and 3 PM on Fridays). Afterall, they all had to get home and have a little tickle too.
when i went near loo, I saw this afro guy who was cleaning out the gentlemen's toilet. I looked at him and he looked sex starved. His face was so innocent. I stopped by asked him how old he was. He was 31. He also mentioned he makes only GBP 1600. As he was narrating his story i was getting real horny.
I took his hand, took him into the womens loo. He was shit scared. I kissed him on his small lips (a rarity for a negro). I kissed on his bony hands and guided them to my bosssom.
His cock was so big that I was little surprised. The banana split was a little dark for comfort. I did a fellatio and he loved it. I loved it.
It was all over in 10 mins.
He was shifted out of our flooor from the next day. I wasnt sure why. I used to see him now and then when i go to canteen on the other floor.
So for the record, sex has happened already inside the buildings.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 12:58PM
@47- great story. but it has nothing to do with the request in this post, which is for some girl to have sex in the leh building, post-meltdown. and also, we're talking about the NYC HQs, not London.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 1:10PM
why is screwing in a building where a lot of people are going to get fired a turn on? and for that matter why is 'topical' a turn on? if she wants to be topical, she should just start screwing in the middle of times square and watch herself getting arrested on the news.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 1:11PM
@49-- why is fucking wearing a bunny costume a turn on? I don't know, but for some people it is.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 1:25PM
@all
Stop whining/questioning and start helping.
If you can't help, don't comment.
We want to see this happen.
Do it for Fuld.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 1:38PM
hey bess, tell her to fuck off.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 1:49PM
It's all so pointless, crass, and irrelevant to what's going on. Dealbreaker has done and can do better than this.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 2:12PM
Investor,
What is your FoF doing with your cash?
Schroeders is going down.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 2:21PM
tell them that RFT sent you, I will give them paid subscription for free, and they will let you in.
http://financialtraders.blogspot.com/2008/09/financial-markets-for-tomorrow-and.html
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 3:07PM
DB-
I was feeling rather fuldy last night, so I went bad to good old 745 7th Ave and fulded the night away.
That's right, I cowered sheepishly under my desk, and phoned everyone whom I knew wouldn't return my calls.
Then this morning I repeatedly struck myself in the face with a ball pean hammer.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 3:09PM
nice fieldgoal carney, i'd rather have you on the giants anyway
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 3:13PM
@56 - I like
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 3:20PM
17 here again. I've changed my mind and I don't want to see this go down.
Posted by Finnegan , Sep 21, 2008 3:37PM
There is something sad about this. I mean, yea at first reading the concept is kind of funny and silly, but in the end, in light of the news, the billions of money in bailouts, the people out of work, it just seems sad.
It's Sunday people. Go to church, or kick back with a good football game and your buds. Enjoy your family.
(Besides, is she even good looking? She could be hideous (aka British) and what fun is that. Absolutely no residual masterbation potential there).
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 3:44PM
chill people. it's sunday, and doesn't look like this will happen. i do appreciate bess's passing it on however, though it seems like she (rightfully) was subtley making fun of this chippie.
@57-hah. shame he lost his bid in Delaware!
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 3:56PM
59 is misrepresenting. I am 17 and I still like this idea
Posted by paris dilettante , Sep 21, 2008 4:17PM
ppl you're sooooo CRAZY !!! fucking inside lehhmanovski so kinky !!! godb ! bess you rock ;)
Posted by paris dilettante , Sep 21, 2008 4:17PM
ppl you're sooooo CRAZY !!! fucking inside lehhmanovski so kinky !!! godb ! bess you rock ;)
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 4:43PM
wait, so this chick flew from london just to get some? doesn't sound promising for her face
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 5:05PM
Ben Roethlisberger got his brains fucked out at Lehman HQ last night; otherwise there's no explaining his horrendous play
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 5:30PM
17 here again. Ok after further thought I have changed my mind again. I do want this to go down.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 5:50PM
go fuck yourself somwhere else you stupid whore
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 6:44PM
this site is fading hard this weekend...time to gear-up team and get your game back
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 6:52PM
oh god shut up, 69. dealbreaker would have posted this last week/month/year. get off your moral high horse.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:01PM
i am a soon to be former lehman employee and I find it amusing that we've made it into the slut discourse. spare me your phoney outrage, 69/etc.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:04PM
@ 70 - I'd like this if it were funnier; this whole topic is a wind-up,and not a creative one
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:16PM
@72-- yeah, I'm sure DB could *make up* something funnier but this is the actual request. it's not actually going to happen, but I find it interesting it crossed someone's mind. you easily offended people wouldn't be so offended if someone had said they wanted to fuck on the former desk of jimmy cayne (whose idiocy helped cause half of the bsc employees to lose their jobs).
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:40PM
@ 73 -- too earnest, didn't read -- #69/#72
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:43PM
@74/72/69-- I think you mean, "too right on the money, couldn't come up with another comment about how 'THIS POST IS SHAMEFUL' "
-73
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:53PM
Hey! I've got a great idea...I'm such a diplomatic dude sometimes: Let's let the Guys from Delaware make her wish come true! I'm game.
The Other Guy from Delaware
PS: Although I do realize that she being British, we may have to put a bag over her head.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 7:55PM
@75 -- more boring than anything else...I've stuck w/ it all the way to post 75...let me try a new one....LAST!
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:00PM
@77-- what does it say about you that you've kept reading through 75 comments on something so "boring?
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:18PM
@ 78 -- why the quotes?
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:20PM
@79- cause I'm quoting you, and because I disagree.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:30PM
@ 80 -- I knew that ;)
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:46PM
this whole thing is boring me. the only thing providing incentive is my morning workout, which I do to prepare for a random encounter with Dick Fuld somewhere in the future. i want to have the strength to smash his fucking face and then rip out his spleen and splatter it against the Pranzo Deli glass on 50th street.
Then I'll make his little retard buddy McDade lick it off
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 8:54PM
Is this a Howard Stern thing?
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:03PM
@82- the only thing "providing incentive" for what? going on living? didn't realize that was db's role.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:10PM
@82...check yourself in to Bellevue...or some looney bin. You sound crazier than a shit house rat.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:46PM
@85
Sorry, steroids.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:52PM
dealbreaker. big news out there--asleep at switch? where's carney when you need him.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 9:58PM
mayo! goldman, morgan no mas IBs as we know it. quid fruckin pro fuckin quo!
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 10:03PM
does this mean i can open a free checking acct at Goldman or Morgan? I wonder what the customer service is like at these two?
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 10:05PM
does this mean in addition to all the fuckin Chase, Citi, B of A & WB branches on every corner i will now see Sachs & Stanley branches? ugggh.
Posted by NotNasser , Sep 21, 2008 11:03PM
44: goats are extra? Hell, man, I have nothing against goats but think they should be at a discount.
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:47PM
91: extra to package deal but at discount price sure, premium goats
Posted by guest , Sep 21, 2008 11:54PM
Morgan Stanley Bank - hmmm, so; if I open an account and get a free toaster after getting burned on my stock holdings; can I consider that ironic?
Posted by guest , Sep 22, 2008 1:38AM
why do any of you care about the pain of those getting laid off? they (or we, i'm not bitter) all have have ivy-league degrees, have money saved up, made a ton of money while it lasted and can still make a living magnitudes above the average salary. worst comes to worse go to personal banking. you wouldn't cry about Prince Henry crashing a buggati and having to replace it with a ferrari, would you?
Posted by guest , Sep 22, 2008 1:41AM
For the person who doesn't keep up: Carney is gone to another financial website.
Re: Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs becoming banks -- amazing what smart people will do to save themselves when all else fails. Life in the jungle was sweet until savvier predators invaded their habitat.
Posted by guest , Sep 22, 2008 1:45AM
speaking of lehman"
"A spokesman for Barclays said the $2.5bn bonus pool in New York had been set aside before Lehman Brothers filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy in the United States a week ago. Barclays has agreed that the fund should continue to be ring-fenced now it has taken control of Lehman's US business, a deal agreed by American bankruptcy courts over the weekend.
Barclays is paying $1.75bn for the US operation of Lehman and is keen to retain its best staff. It said it had made no promises to individual staff members about how much they will receive but that the bonus fund would be paid out. In addition to the $2.5bn cash pool, Barclays is also in negotiations with about 30 executives it considers to be Lehman's best assets and plans to offer them contracts worth tens of millions of dollars. British employees of Lehman described the bonus payments as a "scandal" as they waited anxiously yesterday to see whether a deal could be struck with buyers circling the bank's European operations.
Many of Lehman's UK staff are particularly angry about the US payouts because it has emerged that in the days running up to the bankruptcy, some $8bn in cash was transferred out of the account of the bank's European business into accounts at the New York head office."
http://tinyurl.com/4n2e7v
Posted by guest , Oct 16, 2008 2:41PM
@76 - you won't have to put a bag over her head because she is FULL-FRONTAL GORGEOUS