Lehman Wake Hosted by Bobby Van's as Resumes Flood Headhunters (Bloomberg)
Lehman Brothers employees are getting more drunk that usual which-- makes sense! But it's a happy drunk and a not a my life is over drunk, according to "a man wearing a green Lehman baseball cap who wouldn't give his name and described his Lehman job as being in capital markets," who told Bloomberg, "Everyone's keeping their heads...Ups and downs happen. People adjust. No one's panicking.'' And while it's not the end yet, the drunkards are still being proactive about this shit, and sending out resumes left and right. According to Linda Bialecki, president of Bialecki Inc, a New York-based management search firm, "The best people are scrambling to find opportunities." Even Dealbreaker received a few cover letters last night. I kid, but don't let that stop you. Be the first!
Lehman's Political Largesse (DealBook)
Lefties at Lehman! According to a study by the Center for Political Politics, the Brothers currently rank No. 4 among all securities firms and investment banks in contributions to federal parties and candidates. Nearly all donations come from individuals employees and sixty four percent of those checks went to Democrats. The flamingly liberal Lehmanites have given $370,524 to Obama while tossing McCain a mere $117,500, and among big donors clock in at the tenth largest for the the Big O (and fifteenth for McCain). You think this is why they're going down? You'd like that, wouldn't you.
Lehman Still Looking for Suitor, Possible 3-Way Deal (CNBC)
And you thought this wasn't going to be any fun.
Hedge Fund Glory Days Fading Fast (NYT)
Are you, too, going to slit your wrists if one more story is written about hedge funds not doing as well as they used to, not because you're sad for the hedge funds but because this story is written every single day? Just me? Okay. In fairness, this one is actually slightly darker than the usual, OMFG, SAC was down 2 percent last month!, if only for the fact that hedge fund recruiting firm Heidrick & Struggle (real name) apparently has a list of 100 firms on a sinister-sounding "Watch List" (and is saying it "expects 50 to 80 to fail in the coming months").
Texas holdouts urge Hurricane Ike to "bring it on!" (Reuters)
Dick? Is that you in there? Hurricane Ike may be taking aim for the low-lying coast of Texas, but grocery store worker Jacqueline Harris is staying put -- in a flimsy, wooden beach bar.
"If nature is going to come and get us, bring it on!" Harris said as she sipped a Bud light beer at the Poop Deck, a tavern a stone's throw from the sandy coastal strip thrashed by white-capped waves.
"Everything I own and love is on the island; I'm going down with the ship," she added.
Merrill Shares Catch Lehman Bug (Reuters)
I'm not sure I understand what he's getting at...it's like he's trying to tell us something but I'm not sure what...what is it Lassie? Lehman's in trouble? Dicky fell down the well? Woof? Bark? Woof?: "Bear Stearns was the weakest of the investment banks [and] Lehman Brothers is ... obviously having issues..." said Ben Wallace, securities analyst at Grimes & Co, (who also added that the next on the list is probably Merrill Lynch, which would explain why G&C sold the last of its MER shares yesterday).
I just really like this song. (YouTube)
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 8:54AM
8:47!
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:00AM
Enough with the LEH bullshit.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:02AM
@2-- stfu. no one cares about anything else
Posted by I am a Dude , Sep 12, 2008 9:06AM
nice RIM bess
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:07AM
@dude-- rEm
Posted by I am a Dude , Sep 12, 2008 9:09AM
you're right. somehow when i think of Bess, i think of rim....
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:19AM
"....According to Linda Bialecki, president of Bialecki Inc, a New York-based management search firm, "The best people are scrambling to find opportunities.".......
"The best people..." --- That's what was said on the Titanic, too.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:21AM
@7-- i get the joke, but come on. there are definitely some extremely talented people among the 20k employees that will get even better jobs after this. you know that.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:23AM
Hey! Come on out to North Dakota!! Better hurry though. Our oil boom is driving up the cost of housing.
~Yert Scholhouseriicttengaervessrheizen
President
Minot Hedge Fund Ass'n
Minot, ND
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:37AM
Too long, didn't read.
Posted by finance_baller , Sep 12, 2008 9:37AM
Who is more likely to survive the weekend, LEH or those people planning on riding out the hurricane in the bar next to the beach?
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:37AM
the treasury/fed made a point to communicate with the market that no govt money will be used for the resolution of this situation-- a tough love move to show that LEH had enough warning and help 6 months ago...
let's make a market for how many hours until this policy is reversed by the FEDS since it's only akin to bin laden firing off an s-o-s flare from his taliban cave. it's now open season for shorters blow other weakened financial stocks to smithereens as well!
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:44AM
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122117966831526067.html?mod=hps_us_whats_news
scroll down to see yesterday's news.
(they photoshopped heads on the two headless guys.)
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:45AM
I dont' get this hedge fund are failing shit. Hedge funds, even in a down year, are doing much better than the BS mutual funds are.... AFTER FEES. Nobody says mutual funds are dead because Growth Fudn of America is down 15% this year
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:49AM
news alert: Dealbreaker - want to stay relevant? in the midst of this crisis, you're going to have to work a bit harder than the current 10-minutes-to-9am to 6pm schedule.
sorry.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:52AM
#15 I am certain that you are a loser
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:53AM
#15,
Stop your filth!
Posted by girl , Sep 12, 2008 9:54AM
Is it too early to hit the bar?
Posted by diablo , Sep 12, 2008 9:55AM
The Texas holdouts story reminds me of Herzog's documentary La Soufrière. Back in 1977 when the island of Guadaloupe was about to blow up by the anticipated eruption of the volcano, Herzog learned about a single holdout man who refused to evacuate. When Herzog arrived the city was empty, and animals were running around the streets starving. He finally found the man. But he also discovered that the man was not alone. There were a group of men, all together, waiting for the final disaster in the mountain. They all had something in common, they were homeless men. They were lonely men and had nothing to lose.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:57AM
Girl, what kind of question is that?
It would, in fact, be highly inappropriate to not hit the bar this early. I picked up a deuce-deuce of OE from the local bodega before slipping into the elevator. Fuck clarity of mind.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:58AM
14 You need to look at risk too. Hedge funds are doing nominally better than mutual funds, but are taking on tons of risk. Investors are not being compensated adequately for that risk.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:58AM
at this point, the feds need to get howie mandel in with the cases.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:59AM
as far as we all know, dealbreaker is carney and bess and maybe a few other people. they're not highly paid investigative reporters, they're highly paid (ha!) bloggers who post commentary (snark or insight) on rumors and news as they hear them. the moment we see bess knocking on some CEO's door on national TV is the moment you can start complaining about not getting your opening bell report before the bell because bess went out for a drink the night before.
Posted by chad , Sep 12, 2008 9:59AM
beerfest.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 9:59AM
no, girl.
I'd like to hit 15.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:05AM
Brewfest tonight.
Be at the La Chouffe tent.
Posted by beentheredonethat , Sep 12, 2008 10:06AM
I think 15 is mocking me from yesterday. Or my paranoia is kicking in from last night's Botswanan homegrown. Doesn't matter, fuck it.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:06AM
@15- newflash-- your fucking douchebag. if it's not relevant, leave.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:07AM
@beentheredonethat-- i was one of the people a little hard on you yesterday for being hard on db, but please don't tell me you agree with the cocksucker @15.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:12AM
Hey 14, the emperor has no clothes, idiot.
Posted by FUNdamental , Sep 12, 2008 10:14AM
@ girl -- I'm still hung over from last night. So heading to the bar seems like the obvious cure.
Posted by finance_baller , Sep 12, 2008 10:14AM
@19
The main difference is these people actually think they will survive the storm. Those guys in '77 knew they were going to die if they stayed.
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Sep 12, 2008 10:16AM
@21 -> nominally better?
Mutual funds are index funds with higher fees.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:18AM
Brewfest tonight.
Posted by beentheredonethat , Sep 12, 2008 10:18AM
@29
I'm with you.
Posted by girl , Sep 12, 2008 10:20AM
Your collective alcholism makes me feel considerably less afflicted, and I thank you for that.
Also; I wish we could still smoke in the office like on MadMen. I'm just putting this out there.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:26AM
33 SB: You make a valid point, but I think the base problem is that you have unreasonably high return expectations and are ignoring risk. Reality is that with a well diversified portfolio (that is one that gets risk to an acceptable level) an investor - either retail or institutional - can expect a return of around 8% over the long run. You can goose that a little by adding hedge funds PROVIDED YOU CHOOSE THEM WISELY. Which is a big if. Do the CFA program: it will make you a better smarter man, less of a gambler more of an investor.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:29AM
"I'm not sure I understand what he's getting at...it's like he's trying to tell us something but I'm not sure what...what is it Lassie? Lehman's in trouble? Dicky fell down the well? Woof? Bark? Woof?"
Posted by RAW DOG , Sep 12, 2008 10:30AM
@girl - I'm down. When/where? Let's do it.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:32AM
@ 36
In the office? Hell I'd settle for smoking in a bar for starters...
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:34AM
what you idiots talking about? i'm smoking in my office right now.
--jimmy cayne
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:35AM
@ 37
when do you graduate from grad school?
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:36AM
guest at 37:
Can you tell us about the Sharpe Ratio?
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:39AM
37 here. Not yesterday. Agree that it sounds preachy and textbooky, but its the way wealth accumulates and grows. You look and return and risk. Simple portfolio theory. The alternative is to simply go to vegas and play craps. You have a problem with the facts as I've laid them out?
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:39AM
I love sophisticated investors, only they understand why I'm worth 2 & 20.
MF are for chumps.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:41AM
45 I doubt youre worth 2/20, esp if you have time to have your face planted on DB.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:41AM
37,
What is a "put" vs. an "option"? I've always wondered. Breakdown, please?
Posted by girl , Sep 12, 2008 10:46AM
I don't know, but if Carney's paying, there's a good chance i'll be there
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:50AM
46 is obviously not a sophisticated investor.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:51AM
if you think the cream in my coffee is not irish, you aren't relevant...
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:53AM
49 Agree. Otherwise (s)he would know that hedge fund ballers routinely watch and learn from DB.
Posted by finance_baller , Sep 12, 2008 10:55AM
all you need to know is the CAPM formula to make 2/20
Posted by Seaman Bodine , Sep 12, 2008 10:56AM
@37 -> CFA program is silly. It teaches you that the market is efficient.
That is insane.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 10:57AM
Finance_baller: in this market? You must be out of your mind. Good luck with those "20". And I betcha the "2" is not going to stick around your CAPM model for long.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 11:03AM
You rube's just can't comprehend how valuable we (hedge fund managers) are.
Posted by finance_baller , Sep 12, 2008 11:06AM
Anyone posting on DB thinking they are worth 2/20 is out of their mind.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 11:11AM
@56, so you think you get to define worth?
Posted by finance_baller , Sep 12, 2008 11:15AM
yes
Posted by RAW DOG , Sep 12, 2008 11:18AM
I am the CEO of a hedge fund of funds of funds. 2 & 20 all the way. Yeah, that's right.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 11:34AM
DAVID EINHORN JUST BLEW A LOAD OF WARM STICKY CUM ON ERIN CALLAN'S FACE.
AND SHE IS SWALLOWING WHAT TRICKLED INTO HER LIPS.
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 1:27PM
From the NYT Hedge Fund article...
"Public pension funds, corporate pension funds and university endowments poured billions of dollars into these vehicles (hedge funds)."
With all that public money being controlled by the hf thieves in their black-box, secretive investments, it won't be long until some very serious regulations come down upon those clowns. And it's a damn good thing too. Sooner rather than later is preferred.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by dragon40 , Sep 13, 2008 9:58PM
this is almost laughable what does it take another enron before our do nothing dem congress does something even if its wrong we have a houseing ,banking ,and finace problems and its election time o well