We gave you guys some shit for possibly being afflicted with Asperger syndrome, which, as previously stated, there is NOTHING wrong with having. It was merely an observation on our parts that many of you are socially awkward, often fail to demonstrate empathy for your peers, and are prone to restricted patterns of behavior such as hitting the submit button over and over and over again when trying to comment, and that the confluence of those symptoms might lead to a professional diagnosis of the A. But we've *also* noticed occasionally flashes of insight around these parts and, very occasionally, brilliance. One might even make the claim that some of you could qualify for MENSA membership. Or could you? Take this quiz and post your results. Knowing the lot of you, we're going to put the over/under at 5 and take the under. Again, it would be helpful and add a little more color to the situation if you also told us where you're employed but no pressure on that end.
MENSA_TEST1.xls [Excel]
Earlier: What's Wrong With You
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:23PM
Sururely no one doubts the sheer volume of assburgers around here.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:30PM
RE:fwd:re:re:fwd:Mensa Test
*yawn*
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:33PM
anyone taking the under, probably needs help spelling MENSA.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:34PM
Mayo is what is right with me
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:38PM
19 took 10 minutes
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:39PM
Sham wow rules! Vince Offer rules!
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:40PM
I quit when I found two typos.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:40PM
I quit when I found two typos.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:41PM
3 blind mice see how they run
Posted by Slothrop , Sep 02, 2008 12:42PM
Wow. I think I last saw this in 1998.
Select-Sheet. Copy. Paste-value.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 02, 2008 12:43PM
way way way too lazy/headached to bother with this right now/ever
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:44PM
an octopus
man's chest
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:48PM
chromosomes in the human body was tough
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:49PM
19 grew bored with it before finishing...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:52PM
#14 again... I can't fucking count... I had 17 correct when I grew bored...
If I was an IBank just short me...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:55PM
Get back to work, Mr. Higgins
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 12:58PM
24..
No. Cryptic Answer
0 24 H in a D 24 Hours in a Day
1 26 L of the A 26 Letters of the Alphabet
2 7 D of the W 7 Days of the Week
3 7 W of the W 7 Wonders of the World
4 12 S of the Z 12 Signs of the Zodiac
5 66 B of the B 66 Books of the Bible
6 52 C in a P (WJs) 52 Cards in a Pack (Without Jokers)
7 13 S in the USF 13 Stripes in the United States Flag
8 18 H on a G C 18 Holes on a Golf Course
9 39 B of the O T 39 Books of the Old Testament
10 5 T on a F
11 90 D in a R A 90 Degrees in a Right Angle
12 3 B M (S H T R) 3 Blind Mice (See How They Run)
13 32 is the T in D F at which W F
14 15 P in a R T 15 Players in a Rugby Team
15 3 W on a T
16 100 C in a R
17 11 P in a F (S) T 11 Players in a Football (Soccer) Team
18 12 M in a Y 12 Months in a Year
19 13=UFS 13 is Unlucky For Some
20 8 T on a O
21 29 D in F in a L Y 29 Days in February in a Leap Year
22 27 B in the N T 27 Books in the New Testament
23 365 D in a Y 365 Days in a Year
24 13 L in a B D
25 52 W in a Y 52 Weeks in a Year
26 9 L of a C 9 Lives of a Cat
27 60 M in a H 60 Minutes in a Hour
28 23 P of C in the H B
29 64 S on a C B 64 Squares on a Chess Board
30 9 P in S A
31 6 B to an O in C
32 1000 Y in a M 1000 Years in a Millenium
33 15 M on a D M C 15 Men on a Dead Mans Chest
Posted by merkin capital partners , Sep 02, 2008 1:01PM
i demand you accept cards in a pack with jokers! damn you conditional formatting!
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:02PM
16 here...10 minutes, grew bored, couldnt immediately get the others
13 32 is the T in D F at which W F:
32 is the temp in degrees fahr. at which water freezes
20 8 T on a O:
8 tentacles on an octapus
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:03PM
@17,
The goal was not to show everyone the answers, they could google them... but to ask people if they could figure it out...
Great way to blow it for anyone reading the messages before taking the test...
You must have had a job in Risk Management of CDOs last year...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:05PM
I am the CEO of a hedge fund. What is MENSA?
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:05PM
30 - 9 People in South America
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:08PM
@21,
Ummm hedge funds have general partners who "may" have a CEO, managing member is the technical term... the funds them selves tend to be LP, and as such do not have CEOs...
But what the hell... your a sharp guy...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:09PM
17 =
32 is the temperature in degrees fahrenheit at which water freezes
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:09PM
I am the CEO of MENSA. What is a hedge fund?
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:09PM
MENSA has somithing to do with Mayo.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:12PM
@23 you're not your
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:14PM
@27 it's a joke, looser.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:17PM
@28 it's a joke, tighter?
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:19PM
#23 here...
@28, thanks for getting it, and covering my back for me...
@27, has the WSJ given you a red pen to edit with yet? or are you still on coffee and lunch runs?
If the WSJ does not work out, I hear that your liberal arts degree should be great for a teaching position at the local adult continuing education high school.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:20PM
I find it very hard to believe this is a real Mensa test, especially when incorrect grammar is used on one answers (if you type in the answer using correct grammar, it says false...if you type it in incorrectly, it says true).
Posted by The Notorious BSC , Sep 02, 2008 1:21PM
26, 10 minutes, ran out of adderall, so it was a great distra... hey! a bird!
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:24PM
If you can quantify how smart you are then you're not really that smart.
~The Un-Quantifiably Smart Guy
Posted by american bandersnatch , Sep 02, 2008 1:24PM
13 loaves in a baker's dozen. Who has time for this?
Posted by TheUpwardlyMob , Sep 02, 2008 1:25PM
@31 - "I find it very hard to believe this is a real Mensa test"
ROTFLMAO
Posted by Suits , Sep 02, 2008 1:27PM
23,30: Looks like 21 was being totally serious.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:27PM
@31, what was your first clue?
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:28PM
MENSA members own Macs.
if you were able to open excel, you failed.
-retail
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:29PM
17 correct.
i work for myself
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:35PM
-retail,
Macs run Macrohard office for the cross over types...
This machine is an imac running Window's XP and Apple Leopard in a dual boot structure... both operating systems have their own version of MS office installed...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:36PM
Retail at 38---
It's called "Office: Mac 2008".
Turn in your KayPro portable and get with the program.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:36PM
95th percentile (around a 720) on the GMAT gets you into Mensa. I would guess a lot of people on here have at least that.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:36PM
it would be great if someone in HR put this on your bank's intranet and who ever spent more than 5 minutes on the test got canned... hmmmmmm...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:37PM
Thank you for your support!
~Fake Steve Jobs
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:38PM
thank you for the update.
it was a joke, you failed twice.
-retail
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:38PM
lol it is 9 Provinces in South Africa
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:39PM
I missed getting into MENSA by just one point!
They said, "Point is, Bad Leg, you just ain't smart enough!"
~Bad Leg Quezada
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:40PM
Mensa has dumbed down its standards so that I now qualify from an ACT test that I took in 1984.
My 10 year old daughter qualifies, but she is much smarter and hopefully will avoid corporate finance.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:43PM
question 31 - 6 balls to an over in cricket
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:47PM
#10...5 T on a F = 5 Tits on a F'n bull.
#20...8 T on an O = 8 Tits on an Ox.
See, that wasn't hard. No wonder I passed the f'n Mensa test all those years ago.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:54PM
Bess, if you weren't so damn cute, I'd be offended...
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:55PM
We are pretty fucking stupid since no one got the one which makes us smart-
23 P of C in the H B: 23 pairs of chromosomes in the Human Body
Posted by EricM , Sep 02, 2008 1:55PM
3 W on a T
3 wheels on a tricycle
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 1:55PM
My facebook IQ test result gave me 139, I therefore deem Mensa and its associated tests to be below me.
Bow in honor to me you half-wits!
Yours
A Mac Owner
(Hint on employment... the MAC laptop lets me surf DB without getting busted logging in via my (non MAC) desk top.)
Yours
Bulge Bracket IB'er
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:02PM
If you want all the answers, save as as a .csv file and open that file in notepad. Sorry to ruin it.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:06PM
Fuck Mensa! I went to a meeting and it turned into a raunchy coke and fuck fest. 18 year old big titty Japanese girls dancing around in spike heel stilettos for drooling buck studs half out of their mind on generic seconal hoping and praying to ride that rickshaw up that Ho Chi Minh trail.
Best meating ever.
3 H and S a 5
SPODE
#58 eats my ass.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:11PM
@51
Are you a meth addict?
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:12PM
Googled the answers in milliseconds.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:12PM
Googled the answers in milliseconds.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:12PM
Googled the answers in milliseconds.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:15PM
19 in about 15 minutes then quit.
I have at least one mensa member on my team who would blow the charts of the assburger test.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:27PM
This is skewed towards WASPy Brits. Rugby, cricket, the new testament, WTF?
6 B to an O in C
6 Bitches to an OG in Compton.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 2:47PM
this is obviously a hoax-
20 8 T on a O
8 tentacles on A OCTUPUS??
GET YOUR GRAMMAR RIGHT BEFORE YOU START CREATING IQ TESTS
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 3:18PM
13 stripes on the us flag
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 3:20PM
I assume I got everything right! I am an economist at global engineering firm working in one of the England branches.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 3:28PM
What is asspergers? ,commentator 65
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 3:32PM
Here's the real answer to the test: anyone wasting time on this is automatically too stupid for MENSA.
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 4:54PM
Selec All Past Values Text Black. Scroll Right. Does that mean I am smarter than the mensa dorks that invented the quiz?
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 5:50PM
a little out of date now 11 provinces in SA
Posted by guest , Sep 02, 2008 8:39PM
Whew! I got to 8. Man, my head hurts. Feel the need to drop a few cows!
TOGFD
Posted by KevinB , Sep 03, 2008 12:58AM
23 and a I think 100 centavos to a real should count as well.
But clearly, dreamed up by a South African. Maybe Ernie Els on a long flight.
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2008 7:21AM
dyslexic..too long ...couldn't read..
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2008 7:49AM
im dyslexic and got 33...or was it 33..im not sure now
Posted by guest , Sep 03, 2008 7:50AM
funny how only 2 mensa members got full marks.
stupid fucks
Posted by guest , Sep 08, 2008 10:23AM
You only need an IQ in the low 130's for MENSA. Of course, that is higher than most here who think they are pretty smart (i.e. anybody who took this test seriously).
#32 = brilliant. Honorable mention to #73