By which we mean calling it a "bailout." As many have noted, one not so small factor in Congress's failure to pass the bill is that many perceived as a "Fat Cat Bailout." BUT! If we just swap that dirty little word for something more palatable, there's probably a decent chance all of the naysayers will suddenly say, "Oh yes, sure, pass it. Why are you bothering me with this? I'm trying to watch Two and a Half Men."
Yesterday, 78.8 percent of you agreed that the name of the bill should be changed to "The American Freedom and Anti Terrorism and Defense Of Marriage Finance Act." Before we send it along to our friends in the District, are we set on this one? We're fine with it, but is there anything else we should consider? The only other things we can come up with are "The Emaciated Dog Bill" (which would probably be popular as it is the opposite of overweight felines, and you know how people love their dogs), "The 2008 Ass Tourniquet Bill," and "The We're Going To Give You Guys The Money, But Upon Receipt, You Have To Promise To Strip Naked And March Down Wall Street Chanting We're Not Worthy Bill." Surely you can do better.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:43AM
The American CHILDREN'S Freedom and Anti Terrorism and Defense Of Marriage Finance Act
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:43AM
Did anyone see Rep. John Culberson (R-TX) on Fast Money last night?
Man what a putz this guy is...
Dillan Ratigan got a lot of points in my book by calling him out on bringing politics into this economic issue
http://www.cnbc.com/id/26948366
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:46AM
2 "putz" Shouldn't you be celebrating the holidays and not posting on DB?
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:46AM
Technically, HR 3997 was an action "To amend the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to provide earnings assistance and tax relief to members of the uniformed services, volunteer firefighters, and Peace Corps volunteers, and for other purposes"
Which is pretty hilarious in itself.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:47AM
The American CHILDREN'S Freedom and Anti Terrorism and Defense Of Marriage Finance Act AND Flag Burning Ban Amendment.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:48AM
BL, you need to pace yourself. You're gonna burn out.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:53AM
Revised:
The American CHILDREN'S Freedom and Anti Terrorism and Defense Of Marriage Finance Act AND *Puppy* Burning Ban Amendment.
Posted by StupidEquityGuy , Sep 30, 2008 9:53AM
A link that sums up Main Streets view of Wall Street at the moment... http://ih.fotothing.com/54610.jpg
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:54AM
Bess burnout? She shouldn't even be here today
Posted by AJ , Sep 30, 2008 9:55AM
The Buy American Illiquid Loans Outstanding Under Terrorism Act
The BAILOUT Act
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:56AM
All they really needed was Arnold Schwarzenegger going to congress and shouting "ITS NOT A BAILOUT!!!"
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:57AM
Don't call it an "Act" at all. We know that the current Congress hates action. Call it a "Resolution" or something and it might be passed.
How about "A Resolution of Support for All Things Good About America with No Bailouts or Earmarks. Seriously. Pay No Attention to the Text."?
Posted by mj , Sep 30, 2008 9:57AM
The If This Doesn't Pass Then The Terrorists Have Already Won Act of 2008. Dare someone to vote against that.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 9:59AM
the "we're not going to let your pension fund fail you ignorant main street twat" bill.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:00AM
The Defense of Kittens Act
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:00AM
to all you nay-sayers out there I have just two words for you:
C'mooonnnn,
C'monnnnnnn....
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:04AM
@11. "But Mr. Schwarzenegger, what are you doing here on the hill? Were you invited?" "HERE IS MY INVITATION!!!"
Posted by EricM , Sep 30, 2008 10:06AM
The American Freedom and Entitlement to Free Consumer Credit Forever and Ever Amen Act.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:07AM
@15
The Defense of Kittens Act... might just work. Simple enough for most to understand. Who doesn't want to save a kitten, anyway?
Posted by Mr Jones , Sep 30, 2008 10:07AM
the "Do you want those European and Chinese Bastages to Own Every American Company?" bill
Posted by MarshallStack , Sep 30, 2008 10:08AM
@2 -
thanks for that link
I threw up a little in my mouth - but it was worth it.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:09AM
OH MY GOD THERE'S A FIRE (sale) ON SECURITIES!!!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/1296/arrested-development-fire-sale
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:10AM
The MacGuyver Act.
Everyone loves macguyver.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:11AM
@ 8
That is hysterical
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:11AM
The MacGyver Act.
Everyone loves MacGyver!
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:11AM
did anyone see the woman bang the gavel at the NYSE for the closing bell yesterday? on the worst single day drop in year they got the most depressing human being to stand there not smiling. i personally always enjoy when they have a festive closing bell ceremony in the face of a bad day in the markets.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:12AM
The Sorry We Acted Like Complete Douchebags in 06 Act, Oh Yeah And 99 As Well, Act.
The 40 to 1 Levered Long Housing in 06 My Bad Act.
The Wait I Just Got My MBA Act.
it's really endless, the possibilities.
-retail
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:13AM
How about the "Git 'er Done / NASCAR Rulz!" Act. Joe public can't resist voting yes to stock cars and larry the cable guy.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:15AM
The Keep Ibankers' Sorry Assess in Scores Subsidy Act of 2008 or KISASS Act of 2008 for short. Truth in legislating, no?
Dow up 250 points? If this is Armageddon chicken little wants your job.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:15AM
There needs to be a Mellencamp angle to reach Main Street:
Little Pink Houses for You, Me, and Your Unemployed Cousin Resolution
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:17AM
The You Don't Live Within Your Means and Neither Do We Act of 2008.
The Helping America Use HELOCs to Buy Flat-Screen TVs and Rims Act of 2008.
The And You Thought Sarbox and the PATRIOT Act Were Bad Act of 2008.
The Blame Wall Street For Everything While Making Sure Kids With Stupid Parents Who Bought Houses They Couldn't Afford With Money They Didn't Have Don't Become Homeless.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:19AM
The Bess Levin Center for Bankers who can't do banking good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:20AM
The We Are Still Going To Pretend We Have a Strong Dollar Policy Act of 2008.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:22AM
@31
Well done!! Like the first pick the best!
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:22AM
The Oops Silly Me Act
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:25AM
How about the "I might have to make do with a forty-two foot yacht if you don't pass this act".
Posted by FUNdamental , Sep 30, 2008 10:30AM
How about
The establishement of the flag wrapped freedom fund.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:45AM
@31 great
"The Helping America Use HELOCs to Buy Flat-Screen TVs and Rims Act of 2008."
gets my vote
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:52AM
31, 38 Actually they bought a lot of other things. Basically caused a few years of properity at Home Depot and Lowes and all their suppliers, as well as the local contractor, which in turn propped up a large part of the economy. Don't forget what little properity there was during the Bush years was the result of the housing bubble. So don't blame the victim.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 10:57AM
@39
Get an education.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:03AM
@39 - there's no victim here, people just NPV'ed themselves to buy consumer products. The current income/retirement savings --> escalade/mcmansion swap.
Instead of hitting up ace cash express they just walked into countrywide.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:07AM
41 I'll buy that. But just sayin, in a consumer driven economy they did what they were encouraged to do. Without which there would have been no prosperty. Remember Bush's post 9/11 advice: go shopping.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:13AM
The Mother of All Payday Loans Act of 2008
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:17AM
13 here:
Yeah sure the average person has no idea the mechanism by which the financial system works. But that's a little besides the point to them. To them its the system by which they send their money to new york and Washington and it never comes back. Now we know in reality that it does go back. But what the average American is really pissed about is that they never get to participate in the upside. They see bankers, CEO, and hedge fund manager getting rich while they foot the bill. Sure hedge fund managers also fail spectacularly but so do ordinary people. Essentially their upside is capped at becoming regional manager of whatever crap company they for and they've come to except this. They even agree with people on wall street that say they should have studied harder and gone to a better school. So when they don't become the next bill gates, they don't complain, hey that's capitalism they say themselves, if I want more i've got to work harder.... but then when the people who had all the advantages come to them asking for assistance, they think... what happened to capitalism? Its "privatize the gains socialize the losses" why the fuck you should we pay for this? Sure if main street doesn't help wall street their absolute prosperity will be harmed. But its no absolute prosperity that keeps them up at night think about their neighbors new Mercedes. On a relative basis the failure of the system will improve their standard of living. And they're willing to bet that the marginal improvement in relative social standing is worth more than hassle caused by a shitty capital system. Sure they won't be able to lease a new Ford Explorer every two years any more, but they won't have to put with seeing everyone else in the neighborhood driving BMWs with money they made flipping houses using option ARMs. They won't have to read about "wall street geniuses" making $500k at 26 1 year out of business school. If wall street is so smart then why can't the bail them selves out? Ask the saudis for the money or some such shit.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:28AM
@44 May I get that in Cliff Notes?
Stop reading at "But that's a little besides the point to them."
finance.yahoo.com
Who let the kooks out?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:30AM
44 Are you really 13? Says 13 is "mj" Very good job even if you can't count. Fess up and claim your gold star.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:30AM
@45
Cliff Notes:
there's no reason for an "Average" person to support the bail out.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:31AM
Dont rag on 44 - he posted some good work on behavioral finance.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 11:40AM
@ 39
The problem is that the "victim" was also one of many perpetrators. I would agree that culpability is greater for those at the top of the financial food chain, but we can't ignore the actions of the little guy in helping to create this mess.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 12:08PM
At some point even the little guy realizes we've come to the end of our housing-based economy, the same way we came to the end of the dot-com economy and that there are too many holes in the boat for any bailout plan to stop us all from sinking.
So rather than trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again let's start looking for a new egg to place on the wall.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 12:27PM
The bombing will start in 5 minutes act.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 12:37PM
@50 - How 'bout we hard boil that fucker this time?
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 12:49PM
44. How about learning to break up a long rambling essay into paragraphs?
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 1:35PM
Bill to Ban Recreational Whale Torture.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 1:36PM
@32 = best one
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 1:39PM
The All Your Shitty Mortgage are Belong to U.S. Act.
Posted by mj , Sep 30, 2008 2:55PM
@46 Thanks. Wasn't me.
Plus I'm still haveing trouble buying the argument @44 makes that acting selfishly and acting rationally are always the same thing. On top of that, @48, he takes a lot for granted in his reasoning. Saying the average American hasn't participated in the upside obscures the fact that every American was living and participating in an economy that benefited from at least three years of growth that was falsely inflated by cheap liquidity. But for the lending bubble, they may never have been the "regional manager of some crap company."
At some point they realize this just as they realize that if the rescue plan doesn't pass, the crap company will have to cut back and that great raise he got when he became regional manager a couple years ago puts a bullseye on his forehead. Not only is acting selfishly in economics not always the same as acting rationally, acting selfishly is often acting stupidly.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 3:43PM
The Patriot Act or Homeland Security Act...???
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 4:31PM
Beleive it or not, American voters/taxpayers did not want this bailout to happen. It wasn't about poor communication or partisan politics.
Posted by guest , Sep 30, 2008 4:34PM
Beleive it or not, American voters/taxpayers did not want this bailout to happen. It wasn't about poor communication or partisan politics.
Posted by guest , Oct 01, 2008 12:41PM
Believe it or not, Most Americans DID NOT UNDERSTAND what this was all about.
Most Americans don't understand the basics of finance, to our great detriment. (Many Americans cannot balance a checkbook!) All they heard was "Wall Street Fat Cat BAILOUT" and pushed the NO! button immediately.
To be fair, it is quite complex, but instead of politicians stepping up and saying, "Listen, you're gonna have to trust me on this one, I know it doesn't sound good, but we HAVE to do this," they instead went the easy route, "Well, I have to do what my constituents WANT me to do."
Cowards. The point of having a democratic republic, (which is what we are) and not a pure democracy, is that sometimes the people don’t actually know what is good for them. (Especially when misled by the media.) Unfortunately, we’ve become so jaded by pols that do things that are good for them personally, and not their constituents, that when it’s time to step up, they say, No way!
(And by the way, Pelosi didn’t say anything unusual in her address, the one the Repubs called “inflammatory”. Jon Stewart put it best: It’s like saying, “Well, I was gonna vote Yes, to help my constituents, but you hurt my feelings, so now I‘m gonna vote No, and to HELL with them!”) Grow a pair, scumbags.
I guess we’ll have to see if this actually IS the ‘right’ thing to do. But the current Washington gridlock, well, GWB cried WOLF one too many times. I’m laying this one at his doorstep – if he hadn’t squandered his cred on reactions to crises like 1) The Patriot Act, and 2) Iraq, the American people might have been more apt to trust him when he called an emergency again.