My name is Mordechai Chang* and I’m a sophomore at this wonderful business school. In what I hope is more or less a weekly blog post, I’ll be complaining about a lot of shit and recapping amusing events from the past school week. The beginning of sophomore year here is also the beginning of “core” Wharton classes where we begin corrupting our soul.
So let’s begin.
*Clearly not my real name. Just representing the two biggest groups here. Jews and Asians. And don’t worry, I got that yellow fever.
I moved in about two weeks ago and arrived to an apartment I share with 3 others. I live in one of the “high rises,” the Penn owned apartment shitholes. Of course, Penn decided to renovate floors 10 and up over the summer, and we were assigned an apartment below the10th floor.
At check-in, Penn Housing and Conference Services handed me a form that said, “Your room should be clean, in good repair, and contain furniture as listed in the inventory below.”
Bullshit.
The refrigerator had a few cockroaches crawling around in it. It was incapable of being cold. I resorted to storing my milk, orange juice, and water in the “freezer.” To no surprise, the stove and oven did not work either.
After putting in work orders to get all these appliances fixed, I went home for a few days since the campus was dead. While I was gone, they replaced the fridge; however, instead of moving the drinks from the old freezer to the new refrigerator, the geniuses left them out to spoil.
With the Daily Pennsylvanian running a four-part series about the price of college textbooks, let me take the time out to add my two cents.
Wharton freshmen are required to take Operations and Information Management 101, one of the hardest, most frustrating, and ridiculous classes at the school. The required textbook was about $80 and written by the three OPIM professors.
Let’s be honest. It was the most useless piece of crap. It was not helpful in the second half of the semester. Why? The material we were being taught for half a semester was not covered in the book. Of course, it was non-refundable at the Barnes & Nobles owned Penn bookstore.
The solution to high textbook prices is quite simple. Publishers need to convert all textbooks to e-books, eliminating paper, printing, transportation, and college store operations and personnel costs.
The next step can be done in a few different ways. Either our universities should make a bulk, reduced price purchase of Kindles and then hand them out free to students or, in a partnership with Amazon, offer discounted Kindles to students to buy.
This way, students don’t have to worry about high prices and as an added plus, do not have to lug around 20 lbs of books to the library to study.
While class did start Wednesday, very little went on. For those wondering, my four Wharton classes are: Accounting 101, Finance 100, Statistics 101, and Management 101.
You’ll hear more about that next week.
Mordechai – Please spare me next week. Use the time writing your journal entry towards going to a bar and learning some social skills. Thanks.
College is hard, wah wah wah… text books are expensive, wah wah wah… my dorm was not nice, wah wah wah. Never heard this before. Save it or be more funny.
I graduated Wharton’03. Wharthogs are much better than Crimson. What the #@ll is a Crimson? And why doesn’t the ‘Eli advertise their MBA program? What is up with that? I guess they’re too busy running the CIA. We all know MIT dorks go to Vegas and are dumb enough to get caught. Heck the MIT coach, Keyser Soze, is busy tricking the cops-how hard can it be?
We all know Wharton runs the world. Enough with the New England Mafia. Get over yourselves.
I graduated Wharton’03. Wharthogs are much better than Crimson. What the #@ll is a Crimson? And why doesn’t the ‘Eli advertise their MBA program? What is up with that? I guess they’re too busy running the CIA. We all know MIT dorks go to Vegas and are dumb enough to get caught. Heck the MIT coach, Keyser Soze, is busy tricking the cops-how hard can it be?
We all know Wharton runs the world. Enough with the New England Mafia. Get over yourselves.
I graduated Wharton’03. Wharthogs are much better than Crimson. What the #@ll is a Crimson? And why doesn’t the ‘Eli advertise their MBA program? What is up with that? I guess they’re too busy running the CIA. We all know MIT dorks go to Vegas and are dumb enough to get caught. Heck the MIT coach, Keyser Soze, is busy tricking the cops-how hard can it be?
We all know Wharton runs the world. Enough with the New England Mafia. Get over yourselves.
Always apreciate one’s attempt to get themselves out there, but, unfortunately, methinks you’ve picked the wrong forum for your writing my boy
college!
FANNIE AND FREDDIE BACKSTOP PLAN TBA
-HEDGEmony
who the fuck is this guy? Do we care that you have accounting and OPIM? Dude u need to get laid.
@3,4,5 clearly “wharthogs” don’t know how to post comments on blogs. (QUIT CLICKING THE MOUSE.)
Same goes for you Mordechai. Go fuck an asian chick or something. You aren’t employable, thus your opinion doesn’t matter on a financial industry blog.
I am the CEO of a hedge fund. What is “Wharton”?
#8
Bill Gross called Paulson’s bluff. The backstop is finally coming.
Seriously I would give almost anything to have those be my biggest problems. YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. GO GET WASTED, HAVE SEX AND SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BIG LOSER.
Hmm, what do you know a Wharton student who is a shitty writer and has no grasp of humor or satire.
BAZOOKA FIRED!
I hope Bess bitch slaps the shit out of Mordy here.
I will pay someone $100 to beat this kid up. Unfortunately, that is probably the daily allowance of all his classmates.
Where are you hearing about the backstop?
With $250 billion of FNM/FRE debt coming due at 9/30/08 Pimco is freaking out.
The issue is whether treasury can effect a short term bailout of FNM/FRE which keeps equity holders intact and takes nationalization off the table, until the election is done. Then this c this ticking time bomb can be passed onto the lovely McCain/Palin adminstration (which is when the shit show really gets going because i am certian that neither of them has any idea what “PIMCO”is).
Speaking as a Class of ’05 alum, let me tell you all that this is fucking bullshit, not to mention completely unfunny. First off, the dorms at Penn are not bad. Secondly, the ridiculous price of textbooks has no correlation to the price of materials needed to manufacture them. Lastly, the OPIM books are probably the most valuable textbooks of any Wharton class. This Jew idiot Chang is probably really some blueblood…
all those excited for next week’s riveting article on accounting 101 and how the Belgian waffle maker in the caf is uneven please step forward.
Wait – the fridge had roaches…so you thought the freezer was the way to go? Sounds like the “genius” repairmen did the Wharton student a favor by ditching your drinks. Dude gross.
…ok. I go to Wharton. We have plenty of crazy shit that is worth blogging about, and is definitely worth mocking. Like the professors who killed their wives, or the ones who have child porn habits. Or the Dean of Admissions who supposedly slept with an undergrad.
Mordechai is 1) too much of a loser to be around when any of the crazy stuff happens 2) a dumbass who thinks a little VBA is hard and frustrating.
Oh, and blnde, the problem with your recommendations is that Penn girls would come in dead list in a beauty pageant that included Freddy Krueger and Boris Karloff. Sam Israel’s egret is hotter than some of the people I’ve seen around this campus.
John, Bess, if you want to replace him, let me know. I’m available, and I am at least marginally funnier than this douchebag.
bldebnker – Is that what you did in college? How many times did you do it?
An undergraduate dooshbag. I think u have a much better shot of ‘going it alone’ than Lehman does. Please kill yourself. Tnx.
To make it even more lame, it is undergrad. You take good notes or date a chick who does and spit that shit back on the exam. At least if it were MBA, there could be some good stories of people wetting themselves when cold called to give the case or something.
@25. Wharton MBAs are generally asshats who couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag, let alone write something funny. Even this kid’s better than that.
er, 22 here. Dead last, not list.
wtf… this was about as interesting as a cover letter
FRE/FNM popped then dropped after hours. This is going to have about as much effect as all the other bullshit Paulson has cooked up.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aGyGdUh9PJhQ&refer=home
I would much rather read about a freshman in undergrads’ out of control exploits…..much much more entertaining. This is not funny.
@22 – Thank you for being a level-headed college student. And I did hear that about Penn girls. But surely all the girls at Lafayette/Drexel/Temple aren’t untouchable. I mean I’m sure they aren’t winning beauty contests either but I’m sure there are a few cute ones. It may take some branching out.
@23 – As a lady, I decline to answer that.
()
Worst thing I’ve ever read…
Worst thing I’ve ever read…
#32
Lady, but watch your language…
Or you are going to end up a hockey mom:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu-3q4mNmN8
Wow, this is so bad, I can’t even think of a relevant sham-wow or mayo comment to go with it. New low for DB.
At least they didn’t leave the mayo out ot spoil???
Come on, 37! That was a fucking lay-up!
STFU about textbooks and start looking for an internship. NOW!!!!
Not that it will help, but you should have taken a page from Carney’s book and dropped this at midnight and backdated it to five minutes after Write Offs. At least you would have made it to week two.
@36 – Touche sir. I’m sorry I can’t view youtube at work to see whatever that is… :(
Wharton’s gotten soft in the past 20 years. This is the worst this guy’s gotta deal with?!? Give me a break!
–Billy Mays, Wharton ’83
@ all
The amount of hatred pouring from you fucktards astounds me. I feel like Julia Allison, or Tucker Max, or even worse around these parts, The Guy From Delaware.
Listen, I’ll be back next week, as long as you one of you nuts doesn’t hunt me down and put a knife in me.
Perhaps post numero uno wasn’t up to your comedic standards, but I suggest you give me, the Wharton asshole, another chance. I promise it’ll be good.
And at the other Wharton dickwad (22): the three news items you think are hilarious are fucking tired and OLD. The DP has covered that shit over and over again. That’s the “fucking crazy shit” at Penn you speak about? Suck one.
Now, because you all have stressed me out, I’m going to take a huge fucking hit from the ROOR. Peace.
-Mordechai
everyone knows university of chicago runs the world. you just dont know it
@43…dude, call me third wharton dickwad, but seriously…textbooks, shitty housing, that’s not tired and old? we’re the masters of the fucking universe bitch, so get funnier or get the fuck outta here.
you’re a fucking faggot, I hope your roommates name names so we can laugh at you for being the loser nerd you are
Wharton’s filled with douchebags. Someone will out him soon enough.
Oh, and Mordechai, I think you’re definitely less popular than Tucker Max. I think even Timmaayyy! might be more likable than you. And that’s saying something.
@44 The university of Chicago runs latin america. Wharton runs the Soviet Bloc. This is common knowledge.
Mordechai, its not that it wasn’t up to MY comedic standards. It wasn’t up to ANYONE’s comedic standards. And even the mayo jokes get laughs sometimes.
I hear consulting firms are hiring though, go check it out http://blog.clickz.com/failure0400.jpeg
Mordy you are scum of the earth. You are grabastic piece of shit. Maggot.
Even if you get funnier it won’t save you…you already shit the bed. Changing the sheets may mask the smell but your shit stain has soaked the mattress and should be burned – like this post,and anything you write.
@45
Perhaps they are slightly stale, but a) it’s the beginning of the semester, the finance textbooks are real god damn expensive and everyone is complaining about it and b) the radian just opened and myself and my roommates are real bitter about not living there.
@46
Too bad my roommates already know who I am.
-Mordechai
You have no frame of reference here Mordy, You’re like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie…
Welcome to the real world kid. No one cares about your common room or your virginity or your problem sets for metrics. Go jerk off to the Shins and beg your parents for a more suitable allowance. DB is not for you.
thirty fourth street is funnier than you on a bad day. and the only funny things in it are the shoutouts. because i submit them.
you know nothing about the school [sophomore] and clearly lack the social initiative [high rises] to discover anything interesting.
i can’t stand how fools from penn devalue my degree running their mouths on the web (ever heard of “ivyleaguealum”?).
shut up, mordechai, for all of us.
Mordy you are a human paraquat! You pissed on DBs fucking rug!
Mordy judging by the both visceral and vitriolic reaction here I’d say its time you did some quantitative analysis and realize you are worth less than ZERO. Dog crap is more interesting than you to simplify it.
Mordy judging by the both visceral and vitriolic reaction here I’d say its time you did some quantitative analysis and realize you are worth less than ZERO. Dog crap is more interesting than you to simplify it.
Asians are a group????
That’s like saying Whites are a group.
As a Pwa Ka Nyaw Po I think you are a racist pig.
Keep up the good work Morty. Looking forward to the next blog.
SPODE
@26 Sorry you got rejected from Wharton MBA (most probably 2 years in a row). Have fun at Yale SOM!
wharton is a joke duh
http://www.orgod.com
i wonder how good a sham-wow cleans up mayo
Yeah, we all know who Mordechai is. One of my friends who lives in his home town hooked up with him one night. She says he’s not a virgin but he really could use some practice.
None of us want to volunteer to teach him though. Too square.
I’m going for the hunky prof that teaches the quant stuff. Hope I can keep up. In math’s and all the rest.
Whoo hoo Wharton can be fun if you have the right attitude.
– Wharton Chick
The rants of a whiny student….just what I want to read. Chalk this up as another DB “feature” that I’ll be skipping in the future.
whiner…
I want to say two words to you. Just two words:
Myrna Moss
and diablo takes it…
–CS
Wharton Chick, which prof is that? the only attractive ones I’ve seen are in accounting.
@67 My roommates and I are into the high IQ types so – we think Domenico and Gustav are hot. Don’t you?
Also — I had a summer internship and have no trouble buying the books, and guess we lucked out on the housing lottery, no cockroaches. Did find a few ants though. But it’s still summer.
– Wharton Chick
Asswipe @ 45: Leave the Guy from Delaware out of your stupid rants. That was a cheap attempt to gain favor with the DB community. They saw through it and shit all over you. Deservedly so.
The Other Guy from Delaware
Dude: You needed a pen name for this crap? I guess it was too bad to sign your real name…
Illiterate jackass@69, you mean 43, not 45. I still like mordy more than TGFD, personally. At least so far he hasn’t proven ignorant or racist.
Wharton Chick, I have got the hots for that Scandinavian. As for Domenico, never had a class with him, but bonus points for being Italian, at least.
I like Cadman in accounting, but I hear he went back to Northwestern. He was hot in a nerdy way.
Also, Mordy, listen, there’s a ton of off-campus options. Move your whiny ass there if you don’t like the high-rises.
Wharton Chick, I doubt Mordy had an internship–if you think OPIM’s tough, you’re probably not smart enough to handle an internship, let alone the rest of the real world.
That was really interesting Mordy. I went to a third tear school so I really want to know what Wharton is like.
you are in your 2nd year and taking 100 level courses…and 4 classes at that…are you in the special ed section? seriously, no one cares what a sophomore in college has to say, why don’t you take a nap on the train tracks and spare us any more contact with you…
@71 Yes, Cadman was/is hot…too bad. Didn’t have any classes with him, but my roommate did. She just smiled. Wonder who will take his place.
We’re going out tonight. It’s Saturday. Plenty of time to hit those books tomorrow….Gotta do some networking :) Find some fun guys for the season.
– Wharton Chick and Roommate
..
Ugh, why is this crap on dealbreaker. This is the sort of self-indulgent BS that I expect from DP editorials, and I’d hate to see it corrupt Dealbreaker. The writer is just another single degree wharton student taking 4 classes who is high on his own degree.
For the record, everyone knows that anyone who is a single degree Wharton student taking 4 classes is basically the scum of the earth.
And just in case you doubt my veracity, my guess is he lives in Rodin because that is the only high rise recently renovated.
@71: Strap one on and go play with your lesbo BFFs, asswipe.
TOGFD
TOGFD- choke on the dick in your mouth, if you haven’t already.
Mord, you’re a wanker. go find some chicks to screw. you cant finish soph yr before you had 3 in your bed at once.
that may be something we want to hear about here at DB. no your fucking spoiled milk and OJ.
PS. was in extra pulp or homestyle/
Dealbreaker, can we please throw this “more or less a weekly blog post” out? Reading about some douche bag’s problems with 101 classes (good luck in real life kid!), dingy dorm rooms, and non-refundable books is something we all could do without. If the prose would have been clever and witty, perhaps, but in this case it is safe to say it is not.
And, yes, I actually do not have to read it, but just the sight of it on the blog makes me want to hurl. Dealbreaker is a AAA rated blog, so please don’t spoil the show with this tosser.
Mordechai Chang: About as much fun as a school bus fire.
/Norton
DB kind of let this kid walk in front of a bus by publishing this. One should never do an intro post, especially if it’s not funny.
We met some funny guys last night — there are some cool Wharton guys running around –
a – the ex-Bear associate going back for his MBA (sob stories/cried in his beer)
b – the Trust Fund baby from Greenwhich just learning to shave – he graduated high school when he was 15 he says. Or maybe he’s lying and just has a baby face. He caught the bar bill for 20 of his not so close personal friends, Trust Funds Rock (tho why would he tell people he has one – first thing out of his mouth)
c — the Frat boy Trio that me and my fellow chicks just could not separate from one another – Roommate wanted to take one of them home (he was cut) but he wanted to stay with his bros (homo anyone?) (roommate is hot btw)
d – The guy from the Gulf who just drank and leered at everyone, didn’t say much. His roommate said Gulf guy’s daddy is a sheik, but we think that’s a line.
e – Townies, some of them have jobs!
They were not all at the same place – we toured all the night spots we could find with Google maps. This is gonna be a great year – checkin’ out the talent. No hunky profs were out last night tho..sad to say. Was hoping for Domenico, but he was a no show.
– Wharton Chick and Roommate
Wharton chick and her roommate (aka vibrator) need to piss off. We don’t care about your crap neither. Unless you intend to turn out like Ashley Dupre – than that would be interesting. Or are u just mordy when he dresses in drag and sits at his computer?
Wharton Chick and Roommate look to me to just be giving an alternative view of what’s going on at Wharton. It’s not all whining like Mordy is doing. She and her friends seem to be having a good time.
Apparently you have a problem with reading what women write. It’s ok on DB for guys to talk about “tap this” and “tap that” and boast about all their conquests, but you don’t care for it when the shoe is on the other foot. Piss off yourself.
– Wharton ’05
@ 83: Word. @ Wharton Chick: Stop dreaming…strap it on…your “roommate” is waiting.
TOGFD
This is why MFEs get hired ahead of MBAs.
This smells like another Carney alter-ego to me – how does this crap even make it to getting posted ? If this is an actual other person, I’m going to personally sponsor Oyster Boy to gorge himself at a raw-bar and barf it up all over this kid.
This smells like another Carney alter-ego to me – how does this crap even make it to getting posted ? If this is an actual other person, I’m going to personally sponsor Oyster Boy to gorge himself at a raw-bar and barf it up all over this kid.
@85 Hostile much? Peace baby
as a wharton sophomore myself, i’m just going to throw it out there that not only does this douche do a pretty bad job commenting on his life in a humorless way, he’s also not doing a very good job conveying much of interest about himself or wharton to all those state school alum consultants out there who want to know. “i’m in acct 101 and fnce 100″…. oh you mean like every other wharton sophomore? say something interest, or give it up and recommend someone who can actually do a decent job. thanks!
Mordechai,
My apologies bro – DB is generally a tough tough crow. May be a collabo with WhartonChick or perhaps stepping away from classes and textbooks and more into the foam parties/random hookups/crazy college kids aspect of the equation might help.
Perhaps even an essay on the “focus girl” – the hot or sometimes not so hot chick you focus on to get through boring lectures without falling asleep.
Just a few suggestions from a state school grad.
-646Hedgie
646hedgie,
I need one of those in my corp val class. That shit is dryyy, and all the girls are ugly. Wharton Chick, which upper-level finance are you in?
That being said, the hot Brazilian in one of my accounting classes rocks my world.
@92 – oh I know the hot Brazilian, – about 5 9? Wears oh so fashionable jeans? Ask her out. She has a boyfriend but…If you’re fun she could be interested. She likes guys who make her laugh. Worth a try. She’s in a couple of my classes.
– Wharton Chick’s roommate
mxS2rX Appreciate you sharing, great blog post.Really thank you! Will read on…