The FDIC insists that Wachovia didn’t fail. No really. They swear. So the fact that it is the FDIC that is making the announcement that Citi is buying the banking operations of Wachovia is really just coincidence. Seriously. See, we call it “open bank assistance.” As you can see that takes the emphasis off of negative and dangerous words like “failure” and refocusing attention on “open.” They were considering a “running bank rescue,” but that was before Sheila Bair pointed out the fact that a “rescue” implies distress and “running” sounds a lot like the bank executives are fleeing the jurisdiction.
Oh, Citi is assuming Wachovia’s senior and subordinated debt, but that’s just because Citi is an organization filled with generous souls who were moved into doing something to “give back to the community” after watching a really touching dog food commercial last night. You know, the one that asks “Shouldn’t you give the best to him too?”
FDIC: Citi to Buy Wachovia’s Banking Operations

Comments (24)

  1. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:33 AM

    FART PISS MAYO DOG DIARRHEA CREDIT DEFAULT CHUCK PRINCE CUMS BACK FROM THA DEAD

  2. Posted by bonddaddy | September 29, 2008 at 8:34 AM

    good luck with that, Pandit :roflcopter

  3. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:35 AM

    Hank should just write a check for $750B to the FDIC. They’re the ones who will be holding the bag.

  4. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:37 AM

    what;s o/n libor at?

  5. Posted by bittergreen | September 29, 2008 at 8:40 AM

    Take that North Carolina. You thought you were hot-shit for a couple of weeks didn’t you?
    New York Rules! WOOOOOOT!

  6. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:41 AM

    Libor = Rocketman

  7. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:44 AM

    @5, funny shit.
    WTF is going on around here! All these banks just keep getting gobbled up…someone is going to get indigestion and lay a turd..

  8. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:45 AM

    3.70S LIBOR I think
    nothing abnormal

  9. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:45 AM

    Wachovia was a turd to begin with

  10. Posted by RamblinWreck | September 29, 2008 at 8:48 AM

    LIBOR/OIS at 2.2

  11. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:52 AM

    if wachovia didn’t fail and the equity is priced at zero, can shareholders just say no?

  12. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:53 AM

    Charlotte is fucked

  13. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 8:53 AM

    @9…Citi eats shit for breakfast!
    “You eat pieaces of shit for breakfast?”

  14. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:01 AM

    Can someone elaborate as to how much WB shareholders will get per?
    Will open under $1, so shareholders should be expecting…?

  15. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:24 AM

    This makes me a sad panda.
    -Dick in CLT

  16. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:26 AM

    From the link: “Under the agreement, Citigroup Inc. will absorb up to $42 billion of losses on a $312 billion pool of loans. The FDIC will absorb losses beyond that. Citigroup has granted the FDIC $12 billion in preferred stock and warrants to compensate the FDIC for bearing this risk.”
    So….um….isn’t this like a FDIC sponsored bailout?

  17. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:30 AM

    This is just hysterical

  18. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:33 AM

    Dear Wachovia -
    Sorry I ran your company into the ground. If I wasn’t such an idiot, I wouldnt have acquired Golden West.
    - Ken

  19. Posted by bittergreen | September 29, 2008 at 9:42 AM

    @16: No doubt. Not only is the Fed and Treasury getting into the distressed debt game, but now the FDIC is as well. Hell, why not bring in the FCC, the FBI, the ONS, the Office of the Surgeon General, and the AFT as well to start purchasing distressed debt as well?

  20. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:45 AM

    @19 LOL, coffee all over keyboard

  21. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:47 AM

    Are rumblings of a WF bid this morning just BS?

  22. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 9:49 AM

    The Sandler’s were obviosuly listening to Kenny Rogers before pawning off Golden Shower Financial:
    You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away and know when to run.
    You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.
    There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins done.

  23. Posted by Joseph di Jersey City | September 29, 2008 at 9:52 AM

    WSJ:”For Citigroup, it is a rapid transformation from one of Wall Street’s biggest losers to a “pillar of strength,” as top executives began calling the company earlier this month, and a testament to the torment sweeping the banking sector.”
    I think “Citi = pillar of strength” encapsulates how much everything that has gone wrong.

  24. Posted by guest | September 29, 2008 at 10:54 AM

    So, I know typically the acquired one gets a stock-price boost, but $500?! And a 1.08 T market cap?! wtf google?
    http://finance.google.com/group/google.finance.13187/browse_thread/thread/a97cd7e81821b4e5

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