Fuck the rumors you think you've heard about Lehman Brothers.
We're told that there exists a tape of Charlie Gasparino giving a tour of CNBC's on-site gym, from when the network first moved to its global headquarters in Englewood Cliffs. There are said to be exposed veins, shouts of 'Va fungool!' after every bench rep, lots of "Here we have this lovely BowFlex [rips sleeves off sweatshirt, grabs pulleys] Somebody spot me!! One, two, [now screaming] three, four [now taunting] Fuck you, BowFlex! Now you know the score, BOWFLEX" and the like.
I don't think I have to tell you, I'm on this. If you have any information (perhaps you are old enough to have caught the segment when it aired*), do not hesitate to get in touch.
*Circa 2003
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 3:59PM
BL - I got it right here in my VHS collection.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:02PM
2nd post. hold the mayo
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:06PM
Bess: its "va" (Italian for "go"), not "ba"
Posted by brianvan , Sep 09, 2008 4:08PM
Get it right! It's va fungul; derived from Va' fa' un culo which loosely translated is what every commenter on Dealbreaker wants to do to Bess.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:11PM
BL - I got it right here in my VHS collection.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:12PM
Va 'fa' un culo means "roll her in aunt jemima syrup and stick monopoly money all over her"??
Posted by brianvan , Sep 09, 2008 4:14PM
@ #6: Dude you're a sick fuck. It's Hershey's Chocolate and Berkshire Hathaway stock certificates.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:14PM
i like that teasing gasparino is bess's happy place.
Posted by chad , Sep 09, 2008 4:15PM
god i hate italians.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:16PM
"Here we have this lovely BowFlex [rips sleeves off sweatshirt, grabs pulleys] Somebody spot me!! One, two, [now screaming] three, four [now taunting] Fuck you, BowFlex! Now you know the score, BOWFLEX" and the like.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:16PM
@9
Whoa, Chad. Forget to sign out and post as GUEST for that one? You're a real jerk, you know that?
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:16PM
@chad- the italian this post is about, or the italian grammer nazis in the comments?
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:18PM
9 I'm guessing from your screen name that you're a colorless, thin dicked 'merican, that generally has trouble keeping up in every way imaginable with the Jews, Indians and Italians that are all around you. That's no reason though to hate anyone.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:32PM
Italians are entertaining, no reason to hate 'em. Like Maria over on the C'. Very Entertaining.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:37PM
Unconfirmed but hearing that the tape of Charlie giving a tour of the gym runs on a continuous loop during happy hour at bars in the East Village.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:37PM
bess levin is unreadable. However much you pay her, it's too much.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:40PM
@16- this is perfectly readable. Are you retarded? Also, you left this exact comment last night. Get some new material.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 09, 2008 4:43PM
Contest: Chucky Gasbarino vs. any/all DB readers in a bench-press contest. Im not quite sure what the prize would be (suggestions below!) but I'd give it a shot, whats the guy maxing, maybe 275 tops
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:45PM
@16- your little axe to grind posts grew tiresome a long time ago. If it's unreadable (which it's not), don't read it. No need for you to announce your thoughts on the matter (over and over). No one cares. And yet you keep coming back.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:48PM
Bess levin has difficulty modifying verbs and I'm retarded?
Sorry 17, I calls it likes I sees it.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:50PM
@20
I'll modify you, fucking 'tard.
Chuckie G
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:51PM
show us how you would've written this post, douche bag @20. Or: just fucking leave. Why do you leave the same comment over and over? If it's truly unreadable, leave, and spare us your pissant comments.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:52PM
the depths of your prejudices and your trainwrevk writing style fascinates me in much the same way people are fascinated watching slugs mate on the discovery channel.
I'm truly sorry.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:56PM
am I the only dickbag who gets a kick out of the fact that bess levin enjoys making fun of people but is overly sensistive to even the most benign criticism?
Dickbag.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 4:57PM
the depths of your prejudices and your trainwrevk writing style fascinates me in much the same way people are fascinated watching slugs mate on the discovery channel.
I'm truly sorry.
Posted by chad , Sep 09, 2008 5:02PM
God I hate people from Papau New Guinea
Posted by chad , Sep 09, 2008 5:03PM
God I hate Norwegians
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 5:05PM
25/24/20/16: you are a hateful piece of shit. and so long as you're going there, it's trainwreCk.
Posted by TheUpwardlyMob , Sep 09, 2008 5:07PM
Seriously, @20, she's fuckin' hilarious and comes up with this stuff day after day. Besides, you should feel good that that her grammar slip-ups give you the opportunity to feel superior, cuz it look like grammar is all you have.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 5:26PM
How is telling a writer she is unreadable "benign criticism"? You need a hard smack with a big dictionary, asshole @24/20? Get a new hobby (/life).
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 5:36PM
Sorry to break it to 21 and 22, but you're unreadable as well.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 5:45PM
serious U/O bets on gasparino's bench?
275 1/2 has to be the starting line. i'll take the under, but not by much.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 5:49PM
Well, she is sort of diificult to read. If that's wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 5:52PM
Well, she is sort of diificult to read. If that's wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 6:20PM
33/25/24//20/16—if you really think she sucks so much, why not tangibly hurt her by not clicking/reading/commenting on her posts? Your comments, such as "bess levin is unreadable, whatever you pay her it's too much" would seem to indicate you don't think she should work here. Don't you think your cause would be helped by a decrease in pageviews? It would, but you’ve clearly demonstrated that this poses too great a challenge for you. And your propensity for posting the same attacks over and over suggest a fairly classic bit of projection.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 6:27PM
I'd take the over on 275. Little Gaspipe pushes that in his sleep.
Posted by guest , Sep 09, 2008 8:56PM
Gasparino workout:
1. crank some Judy Garland
2. place plastic bag over face, breathe deeply
3. think of.... MERRILL LAYOFFS...!!!!
4. announce #3 on air
5. call his mom to tell her he ROOOOLZ
6. repeat
Posted by albuddy , Sep 10, 2008 2:57AM
@19 (3) packets of mayo and (4) Large & (4) mini (for those who can't count) that's (8) Shamwow's! Don't forget their made in Germany!
Damn't I hate the F'n commercial!