We all know that there are potentially life-ruining consequences to Lehman Brothers failing. Employees will lose their jobs, shareholder will lose (a lot of) their money, Dick Fuld will fall down an emotional hole, and Erin Callan, who's probably taking pleasure in all of this right now, will get all guiltily woman-ish about it and start telling people she never wanted to see it come to this and maybe it was all her fault. But the collateral damage spreads further than any of us had anticipated. I'm talking, of course, about The Analysts.
It's a time honored tradition for analysts who have no idea what they're talking about to make bold calls on companies. For instance, just a year ago, three sell-side A's had price targets of "the infinity symbol" on Bear Stearns. They don't care if they're wrong, so long as they appear to have sack-dangling convictions. In one fell-swoop--and we mean FELL swoop--Lehman Brothers has obliterated that practice.
This morning, as you know, Merrill Lynch analyst Guy Moszkowski has changed his rating on LEH from "neutral" to "no opinion," taking a break from the typical buy/sell/hold troika of customary choices and invoking the rarely used fourth option. The flood gates have opened. We have it on good authority that Mike Mayo is changing his rating to TFC ("Totally fucking clueless"), Meredith Whitney to P-FUBAR BWK ("Probably Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition But Who Knows"). Up until now, Meredith always claimed to know.
We also hear that upon learning of Moszkowski's break with tradition, Ladenburg analyst Dick Bove sent out an email to his sell-side rivals entitled "Oh No She Di'int" and attached a desperate plea. "We cannot let these pig men change who we are, girls. I am calling an emergency meeting of the Cosmo Crew for a bitch-fest and strategizing sesh, TONIGHT." We pray it's not too late.
Related: Citigroup Treading On This Ice With Landenburg Analyst
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:24PM
Lehman is breathing last gasps
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:25PM
Bess, you're too funny. I mean I have no opinion.
Posted by blndebnker , Sep 11, 2008 12:27PM
@2 - HA.
Seriously though. I didn't think "no opinion" was an option. That's just great.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:28PM
"Didn't" is too proper, it should be "Di'int!"
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:29PM
analyst are Anal--ysts
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:36PM
What's with all the Noggin references lately? First a commenter mentions Lazytown the other day, and now this headline references Wonder Pets.
Posted by Anal_yst , Sep 11, 2008 12:36PM
All sparkles over here
No sympathy for any schmuck who trades based some analyst's opinion.
*Invokes Gekko-ish Wall Street cliches about sheep, fools/money, etc*
Posted by FUNdamental , Sep 11, 2008 12:45PM
mayo, more per jar than leh per share??
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:46PM
Guy Moszkowski is a pioneer and a genius. Decades from now, CFA exam takers will be dumbfounded at the idea that there once was a time when analyst could not issue "no opinion" ratings.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:47PM
DAVID EINHORN JUST BLEW A LOAD IN ERIN CALLAN'S FACE.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:49PM
@6
Dick Fuld=Max, Meredith Whitney=Ruby
"Firetruck"
Posted by RAW DOG , Sep 11, 2008 12:54PM
Too long, didn't read. Someone mind summing up BL's post in less than 10 words for me? Thx.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:57PM
@raw dog- your loss.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:57PM
#9
Analysts issuing "no opinion" is the financial equivilant to Barack Obama voting "present" 120 times!
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 12:59PM
#9
Analysts issuing "no opinion" is the financial equivilant to Barack Obama voting "present" 120 times!
Posted by FUNdamental , Sep 11, 2008 1:00PM
@ raw dog - it's ok we know it's really multisyllabic, couldn't read.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 1:14PM
Someone put a bullet in LEH. They're just suffering at this point
Posted by beentheredonethat , Sep 11, 2008 1:16PM
@14
It was 130 times.
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 1:20PM
wait your're talking about analysts? have analyst bonus numbers come out yet?
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 1:40PM
has this guy ever had a good call?
Posted by guest , Sep 11, 2008 2:52PM
#11 are you saying Meredith Whitney will eventually be shown up by Dick Fuld's simplemindedness? Quite contrarian of you...
Posted by guest , Sep 12, 2008 11:25AM
#10 - Grow up!